My Story
Motives
Around January of 2000, I was arrested for assaulting my wife. I was
never convicted for I never did it. I had told the court ordered shrink
that I studied two peoples work who were trained by a former CIA deputy
director. These two people are my wifes aunt and uncle and they were
videotaped by 60 Minutes and the Discovery Channel. He told the judge I
believed I was being followed by the CIA. Of course, I never said that. I
spent 30 days in Taunton State Hospital. It was there I was diagnosed with
being Paraniod-Schizophrenic. Risperdal, Depakote and two other drugs were
administered to me there for a whole month. The lady shrink never bothered
to check out my story. Like anyone mentioning CIA, they are nuttos. So the
judge ordered me to see a shrink and a counselor and to be on probation for
a year. I began collecting SSDI and SSI and work was out of the question
for I had a bad schedule with the shrink. The counselor told me goodbye for
I could not come out with my problems. As soon as the blood tests stopped
(drug levels), I stopped taking all my meds except the Haldol, there was no
getting around that. For that year I gained weight, my cholestoral went sky
high and I did relativly nothing with my favorite hobby, the net. My family
told me I was a zombie. The shrink I was ordered to see upped my meds
almost every other month just because I told him he was a fat shit and a
fucknut the first day I had seen him I suppose. He orded me to take Haldol
injections once a month. He tried to become sociable and I of course was
ready to spit on him. I never liked shrinks and I felt betrayed for no one
would come forth from those two individuals, my wifes aunt and uncle and
say, "hey, we are who and what he says we are." I lied to the shrink about
Risperdal making me tired and he switched me to Xyprexia. I finally got a
part time job that was only 25 hours a week and I was miserable for all I
did was rock back and forth and shake sometimes too. Finally, the year was
over and I told the shrink I would not take anymore Haldol and he told me
get another shrink for he did not want to live through my consequences.
My wife knew of my plight and was supportive me the whole time.
During July or August of 2001, I went and got ahold of a social worker
on my own. I wanted to let myself be free with someone that would at least
check out my story. That man did and to this day, believes every word I
told him. My brother was having troubles with the courts about child
support. His now estranged wife owes him over twenty thousand dollars,
eighteen thousand at the time and she was always giving the judge a sob
story so she got away with it. My brother owed three hundred in child
support to his girlfriend and the judge was ready to throw him in jail. If
not for his girlfriend, he would have gone. On 9/11/01 I went to my old
probation officer and although I was verbally upset with the system, I was
not with him. I told him about my brothers problems and like an IDIOT, I
told him I was off my meds. He directed me to the clerks office. He went
with me. The whole time I was recording everything and I never told the man
I was recording him.. I told a detective I was recording and eventually he
agreed to the situation. He then got the clerk of courts. I did not tell
the clerk I was recording him. A nice man he was/is. He directed me to
probate court. Just as I was getting inside, the detective and my former
probation officer told me to come with them. They brought me to a door next
to the judges chambers. I was told the judge wanted to see me. The
detective patted me down and took my minidisc recorder. As soon as I got in
the door, a warrant was shown and the cuffs were placed on. Down into the
holding cell I went to meet with a shrink again. In light of the problems
in N.Y. and the Pentagon, the shrink nevr saw me and I was pink slipped
anyway. Off to Corrigan State Hospital I went for a week where I took
Haldol, Depakote and Risperdal. I felt numb. It was there I was told by
that detective over the phone that I was being charged with two felony
counts of wire tapping. I took a bus home and burned my prescriptions.
In light of the tragedy of 9/11, I wanted a firearms permit. I told my
dad. Again, like an idiot, I had told my dad I was not taking meds. I had
also been planning a benefit to save the music for the local school. At
8:30 a. m. on a Monday morning, two police officers knocked at my door and
told me that I was not under arrest but I had to come with them to the court
house. I was placed in cuffs. I found out my father went to the court and
told the judge what my intentions were. The same shrink from 9/11/02 met
with me in the holding cell as my lawyer who said she would verbally
intervene when she thought I should shut up and she never did even though I
should have shut up a couple of times. I had told the lawyer, prior to
seeing the shrink to contact my wifes aunt and uncle. She did and she came
back only to tell me that if they showed up there, it would hurt. The
lawyer, a former police woman was only telling me what those two people said
to her. My anger got the best of me inside my head but my voice was calm,
cool and collected. I was told I would go to Pocasset Mental Health for
four days. It turned into thirty. The food is awesome there. The chief
psychiatrists number one assistant told me I was bipolar, not
paraniod-schizophrenic. My social worker at Pocasset finally believed me
about my wifes aunt and uncle for she and a friend of mine layed out the
truth to him. The social worker never watched the two videos I had brought
to him. My father told me I could have a thousand dollars if I took my meds
and like an idiot (again), I told the chief shrink that and he wanted a
court order (Rogers Petition), for me to take my meds, depakote and
prolixen. The prolixen was because I flipped a bed out of frustration. I
had watched a crazy woman strip naked many times, and smelled shit dripping
down another mans pants twice. While at Pocasset, I was released to my
brother for a day to face the felony charges. The detective and probation
officer said to the clerk of courts I was bizarre. I was given back my
recorder but the disc is still in the hands of the detective until September
of this year, 2002. The hearing for the Rogers petition came up twice for
the shrink from Bayview never bothered to show up The shrink from Bayview
had reported that I should have the Rogers Petition installed. I had met
with a social worker from the D. O. M. Health and she watched the two videos
I had of the relatives. One day in June I received a letter that the Rogers
Petition was being dropped for I was no longer a part of the Department of
Mental Health. Up to June of this year I met with a nurse and my social
worker at Bayview many times a month. A couple of weeks ago I went to the
D. O. M. Health and was told that I was no longer considered a person in
need of the mental health facilities of Massachusetts and no other
explaination came with it except that as I answered a question that I was
still going to Bayview and taking my meds...yeah right.
So I say to you, just live life and really consider who you are.
Cheers,
Motives
.