I Want To Be A Hobbit
W. K. Mahler
Monday, March 22, 1999
When I had first read that "The Lord Of The Rings" movie was to be filmed,
thoughts of days in High School became evident for back then people were
telling me of now and I would be a part. When the official Peter Jackson
Site, "The Bastards Have Landed" (Peter Jackson owns Wingnut Films and
resides in New Zealand) had news of auditions, my resume' went to Ms.
Victoria Burrows of Los Angeles at her business address. Mrs. Burrows and
other people had been hired to be part of the casting team around the world.
Traveling to Los Angeles for an
audition was (and still is) a financial question so into the Usenet and on
the resume' I asked that by any means possible, auditions be held in person
in the city of New York, a place I could drive too. The idea / notion of
living in New Zealand for a year to film three movies of a three part series
brought the important task of at least informing those around my wife and I
of the opportunity and how life could proceed. I had sent an email over to
Leondas Aunt Janet E. Morris & Uncle Christopher C. Morris for assistance
regarding contacts in the entertainment industry and their help. I also
wrote of taking this site down for Chris had asked more than once that
information pertaining to both he and Mrs. Morris be removed. I then
contacted Wingnut Films of New Zealand and a person named Katie was spoken
with regarding any new audition locations. She heard me being a New
Englander doing my best Australian and New Yorker accent. Our conversation
seemed like the behavior of Bilbo at the table of Elrond of Rivendell in
"The Lord Of The Rings". That same day when news via the internet reached
that auditions would be held at "Three Of Us" studios and Rigis
Entertainment was to be in receivership of any new résumé's on behalf of the
to be present Ms. Burrows, two résumé's on February 28, 1999 were sent to
Rigis Entertainment and Wingnut Films of New Zealand via Priority Mail and
Global Priority Mail.
Tuesday, March 2, 1999: I'll never forget now the behavior between a mother
who was carrying three twelve packs of Coka Cola (one under her left arm and
one in her left hand with the third in her right.) The twelve pack in the
womans right hand broke open and the behavior of her daughter out in the
parking lot. The daughter (an adult) was screaming so outside my wife and I
put our attention. Red cans of Coka Cola landed everywhere. Her daughter
screamed long and loud twice while her mother started picking them up and
told her to "shut up". As of now, the daughter still lives here in this
building. Later that event would be discovered to have played a significant
part of things happening and to come.
Days had passed without a receipt from the U. S. Post Office regarding the
signed receivership of the resume'. Phone calls to AT & T's directory
assistance were made. One in particular was to call the U. S. Directory at
the suggestion of the AT & T operator to find Rigis Entertainment in New
York. The number was found and the call was made with little information
coming forth. After that I attempted to dial into the U. S. Directory
service again by dialing like the first time, 00 & 1. The AT & T operator
asked how the call was to be billed. That was odd for the call had gone
through without being questioned before during attempts to reach the U. S.
Directory. The day of the 2nd of March came and no word had come regarding
anything so I was to find the number to Rigis Entertainment again for I had
misplaced it. March 2, 1999, I was searching for the number again and AT &
T's operators were telling me I had to pay for a call that not once but
twice gone through without billing options selected beforehand. Discouraged
and still acting like a Hobbit, I tried again and was detailing the
situation when the operator laughed aloud and said "is that how you sound
when you're mad?" She stated "you have been called". I hung up several
times and adamantly told the unnamed person "get off my phone line". Still
there was silence that eventually turned into dial tone.
Thursday March 4, 1999: I had called AT & T's operator and asked to know of
the area code for Los Angeles for my intent was to call the AT & T directory
assistance and obtain the number to the offices of Ms. Victoria Burrows and
to find any information regarding the auditions in New York to be held the
following week, March 9th through March 12th. Thursday, March 4, 1999, the
directory assistance operator told me to dial "011". I sat there thinking
the last time I dialed any number starting with 011, it was to dial out to
New Zealand and Wingnut Films. During this decade only New Zealand has been
the one place outside of the United States I have called. Wingnut Films was
called again and along with the hello from Katie was the sound of at least
two hammers and then one connecting with the targets. Katie informed me that
the resume' had arrived and that the casting person would look at it the
following week. That was good news as any good news could be. Later on that
night, over I went to the Hyannisport Brewing Company for some local music
and locally brewed ale. The WPXC 102.8 d. j. Ken Allen, a off duty police
officer/guitarist from the band Mahogany Ridge , guitarist / singer Ritchie
Marcos, Peter "Great Gadfly" Kenney and many happy sounding people were
there too. The cranberry ale was great and most surprisingly the words
directed towards my otherwise quiet and kept shut mouth. A couple people
ordered the same drink too. The people there could read my face and knew
exactly where my attention was. I do appreciate that. As I left to
purchase milk, I decided to speak with the cashier of the late night 7 - 11
convenience store. I told the man of the screaming neighbor, the falling
red Coka Cola cans, the directory assistance operators suggestion to dial
numbers out of the country instead of the area code for Los Angeles that I
had asked for and then I told the cashier about my spouses aunt and uncle.
He extended his hand and told me his name is Hussein and that he had come
from one of the countries formerly of the now defunct U. S. S. R..
Meanwhile, to the rest of the public, news of the Los Alamos National
Laboratory was about to become known all over as more situations in the two
no fly zones of Iraq were prominent in the news.
Monday, March 8, 1999: I had decided to find the number to the office of
Mrs. Victoria Burrows and find out if I had been selected to go to New York.
Two numbers in Los Angeles were given to me by the AT & T long distance
directory assistance operator. The first number dialed was to a persons
phone equipped with an answering machine that had a voice that sounded
familiar. The second number was to the offices of Mrs. Burrows and due to a
woman named Jen I found out that Mrs. Burrows had been calling people a week
in advance.
Wednesday, March 10, 1999: The people of the Discovery Channels series
titled "On The Inside" had the "Shoot Not To Kill: Non Lethal Weapons"
special on. Leonda and I figured out what that green flash of color within
the words associated with the Intel fan monitor had meant weeks ago. At that
time, the computer was disconnected from the phone line and no dial up
networking was installed in the freshly installed operating system. A
processor of any kind to any computer is as
important to a computer as the heart is of a living being. "On The Inside"
has the same color green used in commercials about the series seen in the
lettering of the fan monitor software Usenet posts and emails to major
newspapers and television networks with easy access dialog (ABC, NBC, CBS &
Fox) went out all over the world announcing the idea that either Mr. & Mrs.
Morris could be the next Vice President of the United States and the special
they are recorded as participants of, "Shoot Not To Kill: Non Lethal
Weapons" was to be broadcast the next Sunday.
Thursday, March 11, 1999: As I had been working all day and had come home,
while watching CNBC, the analysts seemed to be in the same mood I was in at
the time. A man bearing very close resemblance to Mr.
Christopher C. Morris was seen in front of a computer screen with stock
information on it. As the stock person was thanked for appearing, of the
three analysts on the air at the time, one of them had the same look as I
did in my eyes.
Sunday, March 14, 1999: That same woman who screamed over falling red Coka
Cola cans had come to the parking lot outside near 2 a. m. and laid herself
face up on the tar. She stayed there until the police and rescue personnel
took her away on a stretcher. Looking in the mirror that next morning, I
noticed that there was a new one of a kind acne on my forehead. The kind of
acne that easily tends to look like a new mole over the near right center of
the forehead. Later that same day "Shoot Not To Kill: Non Lethal Weapons"
with Mrs. Janet E. Morris and Mr. Christopher C. Morris, two defense
consultants a. k. a. my spouses aunt and uncle was broadcast as the middle
segment of the three hour long specials of the "On The Inside" programming
via the people of the Discovery Channel.
Tuesday, March 16, 1999: Many days later during a trip alone at night to the
local Orient Express located at Bearses Way and Route 28 of Hyannis,
Massachusetts for dinner, while looking at the faces of the people there,
one thing was common. All the men, the Oriental owner, the Brazilian
customer, the mid European customer and myself a
Ukrainian / German customer all had the same acne. All of us had otherwise
clear foreheads. No women or children had the acne at all. The owner said
to me "yep, me too" & "that's not the only thing to worry about". Handing my
to go food, he said "here you go friend". The following day at work, one man
whom lives in the downtown Hyannis area was found to have the same acne,
soon to be a mole. My neighbor up the hall has the same acne as well. Two
persons, both males whom live outside the downtown Hyannis area, do not have
the same acne. By then, the Los Alamos National Laboratory and the stolen
nuclear weapon secrets dilemma became the headlines.
Wednesday, March 18, 1999: The tech support persons at Mindspring have heard
many microwave energies over the phone while speaking with me. It was one
person named Larry whom identified the noise as microwave. Later
conversations with Intels tech support people included more microwave
activity and the presence of one third party listener who was excited when
the possibility of the tech support person from Intel could have been caught
in a misstatement. Due to numerous attempts to keep malicious email and
website owners various applets and scripts away from this computer, a
firewall became needed. Over to Staples I went and with a customer service
person face to face, many there at Staples became aware of their neighbors
and aware of how Symantec and Microsoft fare in my computer. The most
affordable firewall protection was read about and as one person stated aloud
"he's going to read about the product." As I walked out empty handed, I was
nodding. The next morning using the browser, Opera 3.21 and a temporary
shareware
firewall made by Conseal, the first site visited was CNet, the
shareware company that gave the sought product a five star rating. The next
site was Winfiles (that has nothing regarding the product) to find the
product that CNet only had a review of. Mail Start was visited to receive
my mail and upon entering the id and password, the
words "connect to name server" became apparent. After searching for the
product makers site via Alta Vista, finally the maker was found. Any other
attempts to reach other websites such as Microsoft, Mindspring and my own
website only led to the words "connect to name server....". The sites were
never attained. That day, McAfee Office with Guardog and Pretty Good
Protection was tried on this computer and the system lost Intel processor
capabilities each time upon installation of the McAfee products. At one
point while thinking of what would occur, the screen froze and only the
letter T was prominent. T, for test I keep
thinking. Finally, the original software that had been the discussion at
Staples and sought for over the internet was purchased. McAfee Office had
already been returned.
Saturday, March 20, 1999: Early that morning I dialed up the Bell Atlantic
directory assistance twice. The first operator was named Janet. The second
operator was named Chris.
One woman screamed twice apparently due to falling red Coke cans. Two no fly
zones were in the news more so than ever. One operator
suggested using the out of country access number and overseas, hammers were
heard falling in New Zealand. Later the man named Hussein told me that he is
from one of the countries formerly of the red flag bearing, defunct
communist Soviet Union. Men with otherwise clear complexions of the downtown
Hyannis area have new acne all in the same spot. That same screaming woman
played dead in the parking lot and then, Kosova became more prominent as the
second war front. As one friend told me with a serious smile, "you've been
reading the signs."
April 3, 1999: Everyone's new acne is now probably visible via a
magnascope.
--
Sincerely,
W. K. Mahler
http://www.mahlers.com
ICQ: 14407421