Confession
Ian Clysdale
All right. I would like to make a confession.
I do actually have the power to subliminally affect people's beliefs and
thoughts, and I derive a great deal of power and enjoyment from this. I
did, indeed, make up those rumours about Paul staring at women's breasts,
just so that I could see the reaction that would ensue. I know that Paul,
being the pleasant innocent kind of person that he is would never do
something like that, and so I wanted to give my subliminal powers of
suggestion a challenge.
As you can see, my powers are quite astounding. By one simple e-mail
message, I managed to convince Greg of this rumour. Dawn Wintour took a
little more work, but during the about ten words that I exchanged with her
in total during the last GT, the work was done, without my even having to
mention Paul's name. Slowly, all of the rest of YSIG is also coming
around to my point of view. Isn't it amazing?
Of course, it's obvious that I have this power, when you look objectively
at my life. I also, after all, have used it to generate my multi-million
dollar fortune. Elderly millionaires have suddenly felt these strange...
compulsions... to leave all of their money to me. Stunningly attractive
women continually proposition me on the street, and go and throw
themselves off a bridge when I spurn them. I have been elected president
for life of several third world countries.
Now that I have near infinite resources and no longer have to expend
energy to survive, I have the leisure to use these powers for sligntly
more trivial, but entertaining uses, and so torment Paul Derbyshire with
them. I hoped that I could keep this secret, but I suppose that it was
easy enough for anyone with two brains to piece together.
I wouldn't really try and do anything about it, however. After all, any
judge that you try and bring a criminal case to will somehow be convinced
of my innocence, as will a unanimous jury, even if presented with a signed
confession. Administration of NCF will never quite... remember... to
remove my account. And the beautiful women... well, they'll keep
approaching me on the streets.
ian
--
ian clysdale (lick me) () "nyah nyah! ian's got a girlfriend! ian can't
icly...@thetoybox.org () fuck straight guys!" -heather