CD Deepest Shades Of House Vol 8
Edelira Longinotti
Feminists are dedicated to the proposition that the difference between men and women is a matter of mere biology. The rest of us recognize a far deeper reality, one that meets us on an altogether different plane from mere anatomical distinctions. It is unfathomable and indefinable, yet men and women have tried ceaselessly to fathom and define it. It is unavoidable and undeniable, yet in the past couple of decades earnest and high-sounding efforts have been made in the name of decency, equality, and fairness, at least to avoid it and, whenever possible, to deny it. I refer, of course, to femininity---a reality of God's design and God's making, His gift to me and to every woman---and, in a very different way, His gift to men as well. If we really understood what femininity is all about, perhaps the question of roles would take care of itself.
What I have to say is not validated by my having a graduate degree or a position on the faculty or administration of an institution of higher learning. It comes not from any set of personal tastes and preferences. It is not a deduction from my own genetic leanings or temperament. Instead, it is what I see as the arrangement of the universe and the full harmony and tone of Scripture. This arrangement is a glorious hierarchical order of graduated splendor, beginning with the Trinity, descending through seraphim, cherubim, archangels, angels, men, and all lesser creatures, a mighty universal dance, choreographed for the perfection and fulfillment of each participant.
For years I have watched with growing dismay, even anguish, what has been happening in our society, in our educational system, in our churches, in our homes, and on the deepest level of personality, as a result of a movement called feminism, a movement that gives a great deal of consideration to something called personhood but very little to womanhood, and hardly a nod to femininity. Words like manhood and masculinity have been expunged from our vocabulary, and we have been told in no uncertain terms that we ought to forget about such things, which amount to nothing more than biology, and concentrate on what it means to be "persons". ...
Never let an opportunity pass to say a kind and encouraging word to or about somebody. Praise good work done, regardless of who did it. If criticism is needed, criticize helpfully, never spitefully. ...
First, you start with a pair of praying grandparents. Pray over the babies before they are born. Be careful with feeding and discipline. By the time they are two years old, see that they understand that you are the boss. (A rolled-up newspaper or a flyswatter is usually enough of a training tool, as with a pup.) ...
I have heard a few parents say, in a casual sort of way, that they find home schooling easy because their children mark all their own work. When the child has a problem he or she can just go to the teacher's guide and get the help they need. ...
Since receiving The Mother's Companion as a gift from a friend about a year ago I have longed to have a personal link to you. With the birth of my first last March came an onslaught of questions. I've looked all over for direction and encouragement and been willing to try anything lest out of stubbornness or ignorance I overlook something that would actually be good for my son and our family. In looking back I believe this was not a healthy thing. All it did was cause great confusion, and still, a year later, I find myself questioning our decisions. So this letter comes long overdue to thank you for all your gentle encouragement and affirmation of "the mother's heart".
I will start with the Christian community. There is such pressure from leadership to "get away" from your kids for periods of time to focus on your relationship with your husband. The way it is promoted you would think kids were a natural threat to marriage. As much as my heart rails at this insistent message, I still question our decision, because I want to make sure it has been our decision and not just my desire influencing my husband. I also realize that once in a great while with the proper care it would be good to go out for a bite to eat or just a walk together. I guess my first question centers around the husband/wife relationship and need for time "alone". How do you meet this need, and is it all it's cracked up to be?
My second question deals with church. I don't believe I've sat through a sermon yet. I don't know as I've even heard three-quarters of a sermon since my son was born. At people's urging I've tried leaving him in the nursery. The first day I did I couldn't stop crying. He was only six months old and I knew no one at this church. It's a big church and I still don't know anyone (we live forty minutes away from our church, and my husband is a teacher, so involvement outside of Sundays is nearly impossible). When I leave my son it is with absolute strangers to him and me. I wish I could keep him occupied enough to sit in the sanctuary, but he's eleven months old now and very difficult to keep quiet. As you can imagine he doesn't like the nursery either. He always ends up in tears. It seems an impossible situation to my thinking. I am so frustrated. How have you handled the need to be with your child and yet be fed spiritually? ...
It was 1976. I was a new mom with my first baby, Jennifer. At six months of age she was visibly prospering. She had the healthy, well-filled-out appearance common to breastfed babies. I had been exclusively breastfeeding, on demand, up to that point, and I had felt confident that everything was going great. However, I had just returned from a well-baby checkup with the doctor, and he'd told me I was doing something wrong.
I had proudly told him that Jennifer was totally breastfed, and that I intended to continue offering her only the breast for many more months to come. He had expressed concern that she would become anemic since, according to his medical knowledge, iron wasn't passed to the baby through breast milk. He told me to continue breastfeeding, but insisted that I begin to give Jennifer iron supplements. I told him that I didn't want to give supplements (I knew that too much could do just as much harm as too little) See, for example, Mayo Clinic Family Health Book, ed. David E. Larson, (New York: William Morrow and Company, Inc., 1990), 479., but asked him if there wasn't a more natural way to get her the iron she needed. He said that I could give her cooked egg yolks every day and that should do it.
This didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Why would God leave iron out of breast milk? But, as I have said, I was new to this mothering thing, and now the doctor had dashed my confidence. He was the professional, and I had no medical degree to match his.
When I got home I started with the egg yolk regimen. Everything went great until I tried feeding it to Jennifer. Her face twisted up and she promptly worked the egg yolk out of her mouth and onto her face and hands. This was gross, both for her and me. Believing this was important to Jennifer, I tried another small spoonful. She began gagging and crying.
The egg yolk idea obviously was not working. And it still wasn't making sense to me. Was it possible the doctor was misinformed? Surely, God had this anemia problem covered somehow. I had never called La Leche League (LLL) before, but I figured they would surely know what I should do. ...
My problem these days is also the joy of my life; four-year-old Billy. He's humming and working on Mr. Potato Head. He's already taken the four foam-rubber mattresses and turned them sideways on the floor, making himself a cabin. I told him he could move around, but no talking.
With my first child, Eddie, motherhood was the most wracking. I have poignant memories of those first years, those months when I was the only source of companionship and entertainment for a lonely tot. I thought that I had ruined him when he hung onto my skirt and cried bitterly if I even went to the bathroom. His dad built a white picket fence so that he could play outside while I did a little housework, but would he play outside? No, he stood as close to the house as he could get, and cried. His dad comforted me and told me that a two-year-old boy was supposed to be at his mother's heel, but I didn't believe a man could realize how long a day could be. I didn't know how to play with a two-year-old boy! How I would have loved to escape and read a good book.
The solution to my stress with Eddie was cheerful baby Scott. At six months he could laugh when Big Ed said "BOO" to him. At eight months he could stand up in the playpen and throw things out or "communicate" in some way. He was more fun than a kitty. ...The One Room Schoolhouse
Educational software on CD-ROM which cannot be permanently installed on the hard drive is a big frustration. Childhood irresponsibility inevitably results in scratched, broken, and lost CDs. Also, having to load and reload CDs for each student, each subject, each day (for both the student and the teacher) is a time-waster and a nuisance. After putting up with this problem for two years I wanted a solution.
The manufacturers of these educational software products make it impossible to install the software on the hard drive. I called my main source of educational software (Switched on Schoolhouse, by Alpha Omega) and asked them if they plan to provide a hard-drive option. They said they don't---that they are worried about people installing the software and then returning the CDs for a refund, or sharing them with their friends. This doesn't make a lot of sense to me since many people have CD writers now and, if they are into software theft, they can easily copy the CDs anyway, but Alpha Omega seems to have made up their minds.
Alpha Omega does provide this option with the version of Switched on Schoolhouse which is intended for school classroom use. However, this version is quite expensive, and with only four students at present we don't qualify as a school anyway, according to their definition.
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