Narayan White Sun

[Randell Magtoto]

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Love how he leans into the in-betweeness of being mixed & forms a new identity out of that! Connecting with other mixed people and hearing their stories has made this so much more real for me as well.

In France, people referred to me as Asian first. When I\u2019m in Asia, I\u2019m referred to as white. I say exactly the same line in the show. Now that I\u2019m an actor, it\u2019s quite important to know what I represent. My dream is also to get parts where it doesn\u2019t matter where I come from, but I like the fact that I\u2019m mixed.

I always feel a little lost when it concerns where I come from because I grew up in France but always travelled. I don\u2019t have strong foundations or feel like I belong anywhere. I\u2019m just on earth wandering around, trying to find a purpose. I always wondered if I wanted a home, where would I go? I have no answer. I\u2019m just trying to figure it out.

When I arrived, I was a bit naive. Then I saw that for casting, all of this is very important. I started to be more realistic in the sense that I knew I couldn\u2019t do certain parts. Now, I know what I can and can\u2019t do. There are more and more Asian roles for actors at the moment and I\u2019m all for that, so now I feel [the barrier] is more about my accent.

I left school at 15 because I was very anxious, so I was isolated at home. I saw all these different cultures from far away but I never mixed in. In France I guess my mum was trying to fit in \u2013 she wasn\u2019t cooking Vietnamese dishes every day. When I started to go out when I was 18, when I came to London, I discovered the world and how actors are accepting of each other, all coming from different cultures and countries.

I have a brother, and sometimes we laugh about things we can do because we\u2019re Asian and white. I\u2019ve never spoken to my mum [about it.] I grew up without questioning it too much, and I don\u2019t think my mum would care. All the conversations I want to ask now are because I\u2019ve learned so much about life and being mixed-race.

This part [in No Escape] is all about not fitting anywhere. I end up on a boat with weird people and try to fit in while also being an outcast. I love that it\u2019s part of Joseph\u2019s origins that he can\u2019t fit in anywhere so he\u2019s in the ocean. I was so lucky to get this part because it\u2019s half-French, half-Filipino.

People should be aware that being mixed isn\u2019t only being Black and white. There are so many countries in the world. One of the leads in No Escape is Indian and white, and people will see more and more of that.

When I was a kid, I was one of the only Asian kids in my school even though it was very mixed. There was lots of racism. People told me that I was Chinese. It\u2019s due to the lack of good media that informed them. I wish people would be more informed when they\u2019re young, that parents could teach their kids.

I think being mixed has helped me find an identity, especially in the acting world. It helped me find specific roles, but I don\u2019t know if it helped me get more opportunities. Maybe I\u2019d work more if I was completely white or Asian. I love acting and I want to play great parts. When we talk about my work, I don\u2019t want people to say \u2018oh that\u2019s the mixed one,\u2019 I want to be known for my work.

Enjoy Mixed Messages? Support me on Ko-Fi! Your donations, which can start from \u00A33, help me pay for the transcription software needed to keep this newsletter weekly, as well as special treats for subscribers. I also earn a small amount of commission (at no extra cost to you) on any purchases made through my Bookshop.org affiliate links.

Mixed Messages is a weekly exploration of the mixed-race experience, from me, Isabella Silvers. My mom is Punjabi (by way of East Africa) and my dad is white British, but finding my place between these two cultures hasn\u2019t always been easy. That\u2019s why I started Mixed Messages, where each week I\u2019ll speak to a prominent mixed voice to delve into what it really feels like to be mixed.

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