Dowry . Shadi or buz deal
5 views
Skip to first unread message
Purushottam Kumar
Oct 7, 2014, 2:05:24 PM10/7/14
to my-sh...@googlegroups.com
Indian institutes of higher education take pride in producing quality HR , a few of which turn out to b demons for the society.
Economic dev have brought technological transformation to make our life easier but failed to change our mental order.
Dowry seeking young boys are morally dead as they are putting a demonic precedence for the society.
We must unite to boycott marriage of such boys as this is illegal n unethical.
Dowry perpetuates corruption, causes female infanticide, foeticide, reduced sex ratio .
Also don't hesitate to shame such groom publicly.
Regards
Purushottam
ISM Dhanbad
Batch 2010
Nitin Kulkarni
Oct 8, 2014, 3:14:17 AM10/8/14
to my-shaurya
Unfortunately the rate of dowry is directly proportional to the education of the groom. Most of the so called "cool", modern and rebel boys take recourse to family traditions and pass the buck on their parents, when it comes to dowry and other negotiations of marriage, often putting extra financial pressure on the bridal side. It's sad to see even the high earning, brightest guys want to follow all traditions and silly rituals like horse, baraat etc during marriage. Even in a love marriage, which i visited, where both bride and groom were earning 5 digit monthly salary, the baraat wanted that each baarati should be given a 500 rs note with a garland and shawl. The groom looked other side and showed helplessness, forcing the bridal side to make last minute rush and arrange everything. The people who wanted that 500 rs note were not poor, but extra rich to say the least. Still they were not ashamed to make a issue of it...Infact sheer waste of money and resources in the name of marriage itself is questionable, as this expenditure is mostly unproductive.. and it puts heavy burden on the girl's family, who feel that they must do everything to please the other side, at any cost...Just see the wastage of food at these receptions.This can stop only if grooms take a lead and take a firm stand...instead of hiding in the veil of family traditions etc...
Dr. Nitin Kulkarni
9431121011
--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "MyShaurya" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to my-shaurya+...@googlegroups.com.
Visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/my-shaurya.
For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
arpit goel
Oct 8, 2014, 5:31:20 AM10/8/14
to my-sh...@googlegroups.com
Dowry is an unacceptable truth in our society. Especially in northern india, we race for pride in marriages that how much is spent and how much bride side is spending. This is mostly prevalent in upper class and superficially in turn forces middle and lower class people to do the same.
Very shameful for the educated and elite class.
Arpit
7838256429
Purushottam Kumar
Oct 9, 2014, 4:38:22 PM10/9/14
to my-sh...@googlegroups.com
Girls must refuse marrying such evil hearted person. Relationship on the basis of money n gifts can't bring love n prosperity in conjugal life.
Such marriages r simply business deal where bride may b tortured , burnt or forced to leave in laws home.
Equation will always b in favour of girls as their no is dwindling.
Such bachelor boys may resort to same sex marriage which is illegal.
Regards
Purushottam
ISM Dhanbad
2010
Shivam
Oct 11, 2014, 4:21:23 AM10/11/14
to my-sh...@googlegroups.com
Hello,
Refusal from girl is not an easy decision keeping in view hard effort made by parents to find a suitable groom for her after due roaming and wandering, may be for dozens of months . It's obvious that with better educational qualification of girl, groom with similar or above qualification is looked for. And high qualification increases the price rate of groom proportionately.
Suppose, a girl deny to marry such price rated commodity then to whom will she marry??? And there exists pressure on parents to marry their girl at the earliest, while there is no such pressure on parents of boy and they can wait till they get good price.
I have closely observed these situations in my family itself.
One way out is to encourage inter caste and love marriages; And some policy need to be framed to promote them and make it socially acceptable.
Sir, what you have mention that there will be lack of love n prosperity in conjugal life, I don't think so. Almost every married couple had exchange of dowry and they are living happy.
Yes, there is need of bold steps from bride's side to curb this menace...
They should find it compatible to marry groom of lesser qualification than her, of less height than her, of less earning than her and similar things. And we should also feel OK with these if we have to marry our sister with such guy.... And here we feel to have divergent view.
The best way out is encouragement of love marriages and inter-caste marriages and our discussions must be for evolution of such schemes.
Thanks.
Shivam Kesari
Refusal from girl is not an easy decision keeping in view hard effort made by parents to find a suitable groom for her after due roaming and wandering, may be for dozens of months . It's obvious that with better educational qualification of girl, groom with similar or above qualification is looked for. And high qualification increases the price rate of groom proportionately.
Suppose, a girl deny to marry such price rated commodity then to whom will she marry??? And there exists pressure on parents to marry their girl at the earliest, while there is no such pressure on parents of boy and they can wait till they get good price.
I have closely observed these situations in my family itself.
One way out is to encourage inter caste and love marriages; And some policy need to be framed to promote them and make it socially acceptable.
Sir, what you have mention that there will be lack of love n prosperity in conjugal life, I don't think so. Almost every married couple had exchange of dowry and they are living happy.
Yes, there is need of bold steps from bride's side to curb this menace...
They should find it compatible to marry groom of lesser qualification than her, of less height than her, of less earning than her and similar things. And we should also feel OK with these if we have to marry our sister with such guy.... And here we feel to have divergent view.
The best way out is encouragement of love marriages and inter-caste marriages and our discussions must be for evolution of such schemes.
Thanks.
Shivam Kesari
From: Purushottam Kumar
Sent: 10-10-2014 02:08
To: my-sh...@googlegroups.com
Subject: Re: [Shaurya:4667] Dowry . Shadi or buz deal
Nitin Kulkarni
Oct 13, 2014, 2:02:06 AM10/13/14
to my-shaurya
Shivam, nice idea..but how you device the scheme to encourage inter-caste marriage and love marriage??And i have seen even in love marriage of highly educated MBA s money had to be spent on useless items like baraati ka swagat etc...so that's not a guarantee...
Dr. Nitin Kulkarni
9431121011
On 11 October 2014 13:54, Shivam <shivam...@gmail.com> wrote:
Hello,
Refusal from girl is not an easy decision keeping in view hard effort made by parents to find a suitable groom for her after due roaming and wandering, may be for dozens of months . It's obvious that with better educational qualification of girl, groom with similar or above qualification is looked for. And high qualification increases the price rate of groom proportionately.
Suppose, a girl deny to marry such price rated commodity then to whom will she marry??? And there exists pressure on parents to marry their girl at the earliest, while there is no such pressure on parents of boy and they can wait till they get good price.
I have closely observed these situations in my family itself.
One way out is to encourage inter caste and love marriages; And some policy need to be framed to promote them and make it socially acceptable.
Sir, what you have mention that there will be lack of love n prosperity in conjugal life, I don't think so. Almost every married couple had exchange of dowry and they are living happy.
Yes, there is need of bold steps from bride's side to curb this menace...
They should find it compatible to marry groom of lesser qualification than her, of less height than her, of less earning than her and similar things. And we should also feel OK with these if we have to marry our sister with such guy.... And here we feel to have divergent view.
The best way out is encouragement of love marriages and inter-caste marriages and our discussions must be for evolution of such schemes.
Thanks.
Shivam Kesari
Shivam
Oct 14, 2014, 7:28:53 AM10/14/14
to my-sh...@googlegroups.com
The scheme to encourage inter-caste marriage and love marriage need to be dig out and needs discussions... It would not be an easy way out nor we can evolve any monetary scheme considering the quantum of marriages that happens every year. There may be some sort of social felicitation approving and accepting such marriages at social platforms. In Jharkhand we do have Mukhyamantri Kanyadan Yojna where several couples are married at a time under one roof. All the expense is bear by Government. We may include a condition that the marriage must be inter caste/love marriage and dowry free. If top leader of state is approving such reforms then public will subsequently accept it, may be tomorrow or day after tomorrow.
Irrelevant expenses during marriage: Expenses are at the discretion of both party, if they are able to do they will make it marvellous to their extent. Marriage is associated with many traditional rituals and customs and all need to be performed. Not more than a decade ago we had observed marriage ceremonies stretching to weeks but now to cut expense and time it has become a one day affair. It will take time but progressively it will become more short and economic.
Referring to the case where ₹500 was distributed, what I feel if bride's family would had declined such irrational wish the baraat wouldn't had returned. In love marriage bride and groom are always dominating over their family relating to matter of marriage. They wouldn't let any hurdle to come in between their marriage.
Further, we should also observe that such ceremonies are also associated with socio- economy and lot many seasonal employment are generated during marriage seasons -- tent, decorations, flowers, fooding and lodgings and such alike. So, we can't abruptly discourage such spending, it should be left over capability and discretion of marrying parties. If someone spend more than what they earn then they should themselves think of their foolish act.
Dowry/Tilak/Bride's price is the only significant expense in a marriage and if we exclude them then expense is just for fooding and lodging of social gatherings and bride's gift. Every one always wish to include their society and families in their happiness and ensure to take care of them during such gathering and parents wish to give some gift to their girl if she leaves for in law house.
Thanks.
Shivam Kesari
Irrelevant expenses during marriage: Expenses are at the discretion of both party, if they are able to do they will make it marvellous to their extent. Marriage is associated with many traditional rituals and customs and all need to be performed. Not more than a decade ago we had observed marriage ceremonies stretching to weeks but now to cut expense and time it has become a one day affair. It will take time but progressively it will become more short and economic.
Referring to the case where ₹500 was distributed, what I feel if bride's family would had declined such irrational wish the baraat wouldn't had returned. In love marriage bride and groom are always dominating over their family relating to matter of marriage. They wouldn't let any hurdle to come in between their marriage.
Further, we should also observe that such ceremonies are also associated with socio- economy and lot many seasonal employment are generated during marriage seasons -- tent, decorations, flowers, fooding and lodgings and such alike. So, we can't abruptly discourage such spending, it should be left over capability and discretion of marrying parties. If someone spend more than what they earn then they should themselves think of their foolish act.
Dowry/Tilak/Bride's price is the only significant expense in a marriage and if we exclude them then expense is just for fooding and lodging of social gatherings and bride's gift. Every one always wish to include their society and families in their happiness and ensure to take care of them during such gathering and parents wish to give some gift to their girl if she leaves for in law house.
Thanks.
Shivam Kesari
From: Nitin Kulkarni
Sent: 13-10-2014 11:32
To: my-shaurya
Subject: Re: [Shaurya:4670] Dowry . Shadi or buz deal
Reply all
Reply to author
Forward
0 new messages