20/09/13 Lang Paper Section B: How to get an A/A*

Mr. Hendrick

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Sep 20, 2013, 4:14:57 AM9/20/13

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What does an A/A* look like? See attached criteria.

Key requirements:

Cogent focus on person
Integrates a range of descriptive detail
Subtlety of purpose
ability to manipulate reader’s response
Plot, setting and characterisation wholly convincing within context

Holden’s Guide to Life

In your books create a Guide to Life written from the point of view of Holden, to tell people about his thoughts on life.

Things you should mention:

•Views on being phoney

•Views on parents

•Views on children

•Views on life in the city

•Views on how to treat others

Views on private schools

•Views on love

•Views on sex

•Views on making things up

•Views on the movies

•Views on his brother

Write in Google Doc, then share, then post in here. Make sure that anyone can add comments.

Matthew Bailey

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Sep 22, 2013, 8:54:18 AM9/22/13

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1DGXKadU4Dt4TYuThe1FAsVEr49EdkPhuljOq4TdXCwk/edit

Alexandra Russell

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Sep 22, 2013, 5:28:16 PM9/22/13

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1euy7v3bRLTR99Jp3Q15BhL8qfV91p9MeH7L8Hcc0rlo/edit

listd

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Sep 22, 2013, 5:38:20 PM9/22/13

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Holden's Guide to Life

Well, first thing that you need to know is that I don't really want to do this and that's why it'll seem like I don't care at all, which is correct. All people are complete and utter phoneys, they'll tell you anything that you want to hear. They can also be manipulated a lot easier that it sound, all you need to do is pretend that you have their best interest at heart. Well I guess that would make me a phoney wouldn't it? Just like someone can be really nice to me and give me stuff and of course it's common courtesy to tell them you'll give it back or give something in return but I'm sure they don't mind if you don't. Once it's been going on for quite a while they tend to discard it. So just make make sure that you tell them that you're gonna give them something in return just to be nice, but you don't have to. But as I was saying, phoneys are the worst people ever. Let's forget how much I hate phoneys and talk about something else.

How about how much I "LOVE" my stupid two-faced parents. I know you don't want to hear about the same old bullshit stories about kids not getting along with their parents, well too bad. Parents are exactly like all the other phoneys in the world, they lie, their deceitful, annoying, gossip about you to each other and honestly hate you deep down. But maybe I'm being a bit harsh because of me getting booted out of Pencey and feel that they'd kick my arse if they heard about me leaving it before I was allowed. But to be honest with you, I COULDN'T GIVE A RATS ARSE because my parents didn't really care about what I was doing there anyways, if they did they would know that I got kicked out. Anyways, just to make it clear, I completely and utterly hate my parents incase I hadn't made my point yet. I'm done talking about my backstabbing parents so let's move on.

Another thing that I hate are children. They just piss me right off and it sickens me to look at their bratty, annoying little faces. Just watching them run around and have fun makes me want to punch them. They just get into trouble all the time and they act like it doesn't bother them. They better be careful or one day some idiot kid will come around and get kicked out of school, and I sure wouldn't want to be in his shoes. 'Urghh' I just wan't to strangle them to death.

I hate living in the city, it's crowded noisy and it's one of the few things that piss me off and I can't seem to grasp how some idiots can say that life in the city is the greatest thing ever, you know what they are, their phoneys... big fat phoneys. In the city and most other places there's only one rule about how to treat people and it's that you should always believe that some people are betting than others and think that you're better than everyone else. Forget all those bullshit phoneys that say everyone should be treated equally, that's the kind of thing that kids get taught when their young, see that's my point, kids are trained from a young age to grow up and become phoneys.

Private schools are a sea of phoneys, it's a place that phoney teachers are trying to create the stuck up turds for students to be the best phoneys they can be and they don't even know it, thats why I hate private schools and the people in them. I hate the stupid notion that love exists, because it doesn't. There are several ways that people can gain what they perceive to be 'love'. These are good-looks, brains, wealth, sex, the most disgusting one is personality or they really have no other options.

Movies are just propaganda stunts trying to manipulate stupid, gullible humans that their views and beliefs are morally and ethically sound. Caddy Shack is good though. I don't want to talk about my dickhead brother too much but all you really need to know that he is the biggest phoney I know and that I have hated him my entire life.

There are two things in this world that I like. The first thing is sex, which is number one for me because you can do it with no strings attached, just for the fun of it and with the right person, it can be the greatest thing you can imagine. The second thing I like kind of goes hand in hand with sex and that is making things up. Making things up is the most helpful tool you can have, when you're good at it. The reason that they go hand in hand is that you can make things up to have sex, some of my favourite examples are the classic, I'm dying in 24 hours, or that it is the last resort to save mankind from an alien attack.

Anyways, like I said, I didn't want to do this and it was the biggest waste of a Sunday night that I could imagine so thanks to all you phoneys for wasting my time.