JOKE-RATED: D.C. news

[Ike]

Police in Washington, D.C. are passing out flyers, warning citizens
that a registered sex offender is living in their neighborhood.

Commentators now say, Monica Lewinsky is holding the precidency in
her hands. Coincidentally, that's what Clinton told her, too.

The Oval Office has been renamed to "The Oral Office".

Remember the good old days when politicians called Hollywood upon
their morals. Well, now Charlie Sheen is going "Shame! Shame!"

Fellow Democrats are coming to Clinton's aid. Ted Kennedy offered to
drive her home.

After the Superbowl there was an awkward moment when the president
called to congratulate and John Elway said "What? Al Gore wants to
talk to me??"

Monica Lewinsky official title is now "The First Intern".

Monica Lewinsky plans to take the 5th. It caused only trouble when
she opened her mouth the last time.

Remember the girl from the Dorito commercial during the Superbowl,
she did a split and caught a dorito with her mouth. Today she was
offered an internship at the White House.

Bill Clinton's latest excuse is, "But I didn't insert."

--
Ike

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"You can't be a real country unless you have a
beer and an airline - it helps if you have some
kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons,
but at the very least you need a beer"
-Frank Zappa

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