The Moviesite updates, 8 December 2023
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Ian Douglas
Dec 8, 2023, 5:33:50 AM12/8/23
to movies...@googlegroups.com
Hi all
Holiday season has arrived and family-friendly Wonka hits the screens today.
This is the back story for Willy Wonka, and reviews have been good, so
enjoy :-). It's also on the big IMAX and 4DX screens.
For the little ones, we have the European animated film, The Inseparables,
which has not had much exposure overseas.
For the adults, the Christmas action thriller, Silent Night.
Also likely for adults only, the Hindi crime thriller Joram.
Enjoy. :-)
New this week
* The Inseparables (3D) (PG LV)
* The Inseparables (PG LV)
* Wonka (PG V)
* Wonka (IMAX) (PG V)
* Wonka (4DX) (PG V)
* Silent Night (16 LVD)
* Joram (Probably 16 V)
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm
Forthcoming attractions
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm
Updated the home page poster
https://www.moviesite.co.za/
List of all movies showing
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm
Same list sorted by Age Restriction
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm
This Week's pinup
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper)
Showtimes
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)
Enjoy :-)
Cheers, Ian
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Old Couple Go to the Lawyer
The man says “we want a divorce.”
The lawyer says, “How old are you?”
“I’m 98, she’s 95. We’ve been married for 71 years.”
“Well, that’s a long time. Maybe you should think about it more?”
“We’ve thought about it. We’ve wanted to get divorced for 50 years now.”
“Fifty years? That’s a long time. What’s taken you so long?”
“We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They only use gaslighting.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
For breakfast, I’m gonna amaze you all by eating a percussion sandwich…
Can I have a drum roll please?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does a misbehaving nun dip her fries in?
Worst sister sauce
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the difference between an Acronym and an Influencer?
An acronym actually stands for something.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I helped my neighbour with something this morning and she said,
"I could marry you!".
I couldn’t believe it!
You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in
return.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is tradition?
Peer pressure by dead people.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Chuck Norris was young...
His parents would sleep in his room when they were scared.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not to brag about my finances or anything...
But my bank calls me everyday to tell me that my balance is outstanding.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just found out Albert Einstein was a real person
All this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
However, his brother, Frank, made a real monster.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa needed to renew his pilot's certification, so he headed to a local
flight school to take the exam. Part of the exam included a check ride with
an examiner.
As Santa and the examiner headed to the sleigh, the examiner stopped and
picked up a shotgun.
"What's the shotgun for?" asked Santa.
"Well," said the examiner after a short pause. "You're not supposed to know
this, but for this test, you're going to lose two engines on take-off."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can't get the darn qsn to work...
Oh, wait, I had the usb upside down
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What’s big and gray and not important?
An irrelephant
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just in: Orchestras are now illegal on broadcast TV
Censors have determined that there's too much sax and violins.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
After his very first English Lit class, a Professor is talking to a sorority
girl taking the course.
He asks, “Do you like Kipling?”
She blushes and answers “I don’t know. I’ve never kippled.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A software tester walks into a bar,
runs into a bar,
hops into a bar,
skips into a bar,
jumps into a bar.
He orders:
a beer
a bear
a bier
2 beers
3 beers
65535 beers
π beers
-1 beers
0 beers
O beers
NULL beers
The bartender fulfils the orders that he can fulfil and refuses the others.
The tester writes up his results and forwards them to the senior analyst
for sign-off.
A live user walks into the bar and asks where the toilet is.
The bartender explodes, the bar catches fire and the ceiling falls in.
--
webm...@moviesite.co.za
The Moviesite at http://www.moviesite.co.za
South Africa's greatest movie site. Ph. (021) 975-7273
Holiday season has arrived and family-friendly Wonka hits the screens today.
This is the back story for Willy Wonka, and reviews have been good, so
enjoy :-). It's also on the big IMAX and 4DX screens.
For the little ones, we have the European animated film, The Inseparables,
which has not had much exposure overseas.
For the adults, the Christmas action thriller, Silent Night.
Also likely for adults only, the Hindi crime thriller Joram.
Enjoy. :-)
New this week
* The Inseparables (3D) (PG LV)
* The Inseparables (PG LV)
* Wonka (PG V)
* Wonka (IMAX) (PG V)
* Wonka (4DX) (PG V)
* Silent Night (16 LVD)
* Joram (Probably 16 V)
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm
Forthcoming attractions
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm
Updated the home page poster
https://www.moviesite.co.za/
List of all movies showing
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm
Same list sorted by Age Restriction
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm
This Week's pinup
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper)
Showtimes
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)
Enjoy :-)
Cheers, Ian
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Old Couple Go to the Lawyer
The man says “we want a divorce.”
The lawyer says, “How old are you?”
“I’m 98, she’s 95. We’ve been married for 71 years.”
“Well, that’s a long time. Maybe you should think about it more?”
“We’ve thought about it. We’ve wanted to get divorced for 50 years now.”
“Fifty years? That’s a long time. What’s taken you so long?”
“We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They only use gaslighting.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
For breakfast, I’m gonna amaze you all by eating a percussion sandwich…
Can I have a drum roll please?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does a misbehaving nun dip her fries in?
Worst sister sauce
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the difference between an Acronym and an Influencer?
An acronym actually stands for something.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I helped my neighbour with something this morning and she said,
"I could marry you!".
I couldn’t believe it!
You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in
return.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is tradition?
Peer pressure by dead people.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Chuck Norris was young...
His parents would sleep in his room when they were scared.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not to brag about my finances or anything...
But my bank calls me everyday to tell me that my balance is outstanding.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just found out Albert Einstein was a real person
All this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
However, his brother, Frank, made a real monster.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa needed to renew his pilot's certification, so he headed to a local
flight school to take the exam. Part of the exam included a check ride with
an examiner.
As Santa and the examiner headed to the sleigh, the examiner stopped and
picked up a shotgun.
"What's the shotgun for?" asked Santa.
"Well," said the examiner after a short pause. "You're not supposed to know
this, but for this test, you're going to lose two engines on take-off."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can't get the darn qsn to work...
Oh, wait, I had the usb upside down
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What’s big and gray and not important?
An irrelephant
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just in: Orchestras are now illegal on broadcast TV
Censors have determined that there's too much sax and violins.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
After his very first English Lit class, a Professor is talking to a sorority
girl taking the course.
He asks, “Do you like Kipling?”
She blushes and answers “I don’t know. I’ve never kippled.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A software tester walks into a bar,
runs into a bar,
hops into a bar,
skips into a bar,
jumps into a bar.
He orders:
a beer
a bear
a bier
2 beers
3 beers
65535 beers
π beers
-1 beers
0 beers
O beers
NULL beers
The bartender fulfils the orders that he can fulfil and refuses the others.
The tester writes up his results and forwards them to the senior analyst
for sign-off.
A live user walks into the bar and asks where the toilet is.
The bartender explodes, the bar catches fire and the ceiling falls in.
--
webm...@moviesite.co.za
The Moviesite at http://www.moviesite.co.za
South Africa's greatest movie site. Ph. (021) 975-7273
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