The Moviesite updates, 27 October 2023
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Ian Douglas
Oct 27, 2023, 8:37:46 AM10/27/23
to movies...@googlegroups.com
Hi all
In the past, the distributors would use this time of the year, with a large
part of the cinema market focused on exams, to screen a curious combination
of Oscar-bait art movies, juxtaposed with fare that should have gone
straight to video.
Times have changed :-)
This week we have a mixed bag, and no Oscar winners in sight. First up is
the next in the Trolls franchise, Trolls Band Together, also in 3D.
South Africa rolls out our take on the classic Bollywood singing-dancing
movie, with local music love story Never Give Up.
From Hollywood, two movies for the adults, first up a horror from the
"Freddy's" game and movie franchise, Five Nights at Freddy's, while
ex-wrestler John Cena headlines the action thriller Freelance.
Bollywood has two offerings, including their female version of Top Gun,
and a story of perseverance in 12th Fail.
The BANFF Mountain Film Festival is running at assorted venues.
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2 is screening at assorted venues.
Enjoy. :-)
New this week
* Trolls Band Together (3D) (PG)
* Trolls Band Together (PG)
* Never Give Up (PG7-9 VP PPS)
* Five Nights at Freddy's (16 LVH)
* Freelance (16 LV)
* Tejas (Hindi)
* 12th Fail (Hindi)
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm
Forthcoming attractions
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm
Updated the home page poster
https://www.moviesite.co.za/
List of all movies showing
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm
Same list sorted by Age Restriction
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm
Showtimes
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)
Enjoy :-)
Cheers, Ian
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have you heard an ex Vice President is releasing a computer generated reggae
album?
It's called Al Gore Rhythms.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heard about the alcoholic who lived in a haunted house?
Had a real problem with boos.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a short cut
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman visits her husband in prison...
Before leaving, she tells a correction officer:
“You shouldn’t make my husband work like that. He’s exhausted!”
The officer laughs and says,
“Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell all day!”
The wife replies:
“Bullshit! He just told me he’s been digging a tunnel for months!”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's a new deodorant on the market called "Ventriloquist".
It doesn't do a thing about your body odour but people will think it's
coming from the guy next to you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A cat begins typing a passive-aggressive workplace message
“Purr my last email...”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The latest 23andMe data breach is believed to be perpetrated by the same
hacker from the previous breach.
It appears they're related.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife apologised for the first ever time.
She said she's sorry she married me.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife called me “pretty” today.
Well, the full statement was “You are pretty annoying”, but I focus on
positive things only.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I told my wife she needs to embrace her mistakes.
So, she gave me a hug.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sir Isaac Newton was completely WRONG about apples
They don't fall to the ground because of gravity.
It's natural selection.
Trees that produce apples that fall upwards don't have offspring.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a virus that encourages you to try goods and services on
social media?
An influenza.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive sports car.
Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man.
"Look what you did to my car" he yells. "You're going to give me $10,000
right now or I'm going to beat you to a pulp!"
"Oh my" says the old man, "I don't have that kind of money.
Let me call my son, he trains dolphins and he will know what to do."
"Dolphins" the other driver huffs, while rolling his eyes.
The old man pulls out his phone, dials his son and just as his son answered,
the irate man snatches the phone away from the old man.
"So, YOU'RE a dolphin trainer, huh? Well, Your old man here just rear-ended
my car and I need 10 grand right now or I'm going to beat you AND your old
man to a pulp."
"I'll be there in 10 minutes," says the voice calmly on the other end.
Exactly 10 minutes later a Jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to
pulverize the bully, leaving him in a heap on the side of the road.
When he finished, he walked over to his father and said...
"For the last time dad, I train Seals, Navy Seals.....
NOT dolphins!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I bought a little bag of air today...
The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as
well.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is the glass 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Optimist: The glass is half full
Pessimist: The glass is half empty
Excel: The glass is 1 February
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm not eating leftover thanksgiving food this year.
I'm quitting cold turkey.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The CEO of a company was in need of a secretary
He spread ads all over town. A few days later, there was a knock on his door.
It was a dog. He had a newspaper in his mouth. He opened it to the
classifieds page and pointed to the ad that the CEO had placed. The CEO was
impressed. But he thought it was a joke, so he decided to test the dog:
"Look, I need a secretary who understands the basics of computers"
The dog went to one of the secretary's desks, climbed on the chair, turned
on the computer and the printer in total tranquility.
The CEO was amazed, but decided to go further:
"That's good, but I need a secretary who understands spreadsheets"
The dog quickly opened Excel, scanned rows and columns of data and then used
pivot tables to create dashboards of charts.
The astonished CEO desperately followed:
"Well, that's really fantastic, but my secretary must be bilingual!"
The dog replied:" Meow"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A pair of cows were talking in the field.
One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you comfort an English teacher?
There, their, they're.
--
webm...@moviesite.co.za
The Moviesite at http://www.moviesite.co.za
South Africa's greatest movie site. Ph. (021) 975-7273
In the past, the distributors would use this time of the year, with a large
part of the cinema market focused on exams, to screen a curious combination
of Oscar-bait art movies, juxtaposed with fare that should have gone
straight to video.
Times have changed :-)
This week we have a mixed bag, and no Oscar winners in sight. First up is
the next in the Trolls franchise, Trolls Band Together, also in 3D.
South Africa rolls out our take on the classic Bollywood singing-dancing
movie, with local music love story Never Give Up.
From Hollywood, two movies for the adults, first up a horror from the
"Freddy's" game and movie franchise, Five Nights at Freddy's, while
ex-wrestler John Cena headlines the action thriller Freelance.
Bollywood has two offerings, including their female version of Top Gun,
and a story of perseverance in 12th Fail.
The BANFF Mountain Film Festival is running at assorted venues.
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2 is screening at assorted venues.
Enjoy. :-)
New this week
* Trolls Band Together (3D) (PG)
* Trolls Band Together (PG)
* Never Give Up (PG7-9 VP PPS)
* Five Nights at Freddy's (16 LVH)
* Freelance (16 LV)
* Tejas (Hindi)
* 12th Fail (Hindi)
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm
Forthcoming attractions
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm
Updated the home page poster
https://www.moviesite.co.za/
List of all movies showing
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm
Same list sorted by Age Restriction
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm
Showtimes
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)
Enjoy :-)
Cheers, Ian
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have you heard an ex Vice President is releasing a computer generated reggae
album?
It's called Al Gore Rhythms.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heard about the alcoholic who lived in a haunted house?
Had a real problem with boos.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a short cut
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman visits her husband in prison...
Before leaving, she tells a correction officer:
“You shouldn’t make my husband work like that. He’s exhausted!”
The officer laughs and says,
“Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell all day!”
The wife replies:
“Bullshit! He just told me he’s been digging a tunnel for months!”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's a new deodorant on the market called "Ventriloquist".
It doesn't do a thing about your body odour but people will think it's
coming from the guy next to you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A cat begins typing a passive-aggressive workplace message
“Purr my last email...”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The latest 23andMe data breach is believed to be perpetrated by the same
hacker from the previous breach.
It appears they're related.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife apologised for the first ever time.
She said she's sorry she married me.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife called me “pretty” today.
Well, the full statement was “You are pretty annoying”, but I focus on
positive things only.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I told my wife she needs to embrace her mistakes.
So, she gave me a hug.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sir Isaac Newton was completely WRONG about apples
They don't fall to the ground because of gravity.
It's natural selection.
Trees that produce apples that fall upwards don't have offspring.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a virus that encourages you to try goods and services on
social media?
An influenza.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive sports car.
Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man.
"Look what you did to my car" he yells. "You're going to give me $10,000
right now or I'm going to beat you to a pulp!"
"Oh my" says the old man, "I don't have that kind of money.
Let me call my son, he trains dolphins and he will know what to do."
"Dolphins" the other driver huffs, while rolling his eyes.
The old man pulls out his phone, dials his son and just as his son answered,
the irate man snatches the phone away from the old man.
"So, YOU'RE a dolphin trainer, huh? Well, Your old man here just rear-ended
my car and I need 10 grand right now or I'm going to beat you AND your old
man to a pulp."
"I'll be there in 10 minutes," says the voice calmly on the other end.
Exactly 10 minutes later a Jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to
pulverize the bully, leaving him in a heap on the side of the road.
When he finished, he walked over to his father and said...
"For the last time dad, I train Seals, Navy Seals.....
NOT dolphins!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I bought a little bag of air today...
The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as
well.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is the glass 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Optimist: The glass is half full
Pessimist: The glass is half empty
Excel: The glass is 1 February
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm not eating leftover thanksgiving food this year.
I'm quitting cold turkey.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The CEO of a company was in need of a secretary
He spread ads all over town. A few days later, there was a knock on his door.
It was a dog. He had a newspaper in his mouth. He opened it to the
classifieds page and pointed to the ad that the CEO had placed. The CEO was
impressed. But he thought it was a joke, so he decided to test the dog:
"Look, I need a secretary who understands the basics of computers"
The dog went to one of the secretary's desks, climbed on the chair, turned
on the computer and the printer in total tranquility.
The CEO was amazed, but decided to go further:
"That's good, but I need a secretary who understands spreadsheets"
The dog quickly opened Excel, scanned rows and columns of data and then used
pivot tables to create dashboards of charts.
The astonished CEO desperately followed:
"Well, that's really fantastic, but my secretary must be bilingual!"
The dog replied:" Meow"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A pair of cows were talking in the field.
One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you comfort an English teacher?
There, their, they're.
--
webm...@moviesite.co.za
The Moviesite at http://www.moviesite.co.za
South Africa's greatest movie site. Ph. (021) 975-7273
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