The Moviesite updates, 4 March 2022
1 view
Skip to first unread message
Ian Douglas
Mar 4, 2022, 5:42:08 AM3/4/22
to movies...@googlegroups.com
Hi all
A strong line-up this week, headlined by The Batman, which has received
praise from the press and public alike. Best viewed at IMAX or 4DX :-)
On the art side, we have Oscar hopeful (7 nominations) Belfast, for your
discerning pleasure. Note that the film is in monochrome.
Lastly, Bollywood offers Jhund, featuring stalwart Amitabh Bachchan.
New this week:
* Belfast (13 LVP)
* The Batman (16 LVD)
* The Batman (IMAX) (16 LVD)
* The Batman (4DX) (16 LVD)
* Jhund (Hindi)
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm
Forthcoming attractions
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm
Updated the pic and quote on the home page
https://www.moviesite.co.za/
This Week's pinup
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (3 full HD wallpapers ...)
List of all movies showing
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm
Same list sorted by Age Restriction
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm
Showtimes
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)
Enjoy :-)
Cheers, Ian
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’m so bad at small talk that I just asked the woman cutting my hair what
she does for a living.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman was getting swamped with calls from strangers because a billing
service had launched a number that was identical to hers.
When she called to complain, she was told to get a new number.
“I’ve had mine for 20 years,” she pleaded.
“Couldn’t you change yours?”
The company refused, so she said, “Fine. From now on, I’m going to tell
everyone who calls that their bill is paid in full.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words
become superfluous.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I played games with my son Luke, aged seven, I used to let him win.
But then I decided he should learn that in life things don’t always go your
way. So I won the next game.
This clearly bothered him.
In the supermarket later that day he said in a loud voice, while in a
long queue to the cashier, “Don’t beat me again, Mummy. I don’t like
it.”
I got some very suspicious looks!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The tenth Fast and Furious movie should be called Fast 10: Your Seatbelts.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jurassic Park is a movie about how just because something is great it
doesn’t mean you should bring it back, and it has three sequels.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don’t call me “honey” and expect it to soften the fact that you
SHRUNK THE KIDS.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The mayor in Jaws is still the mayor in Jaws 2.
It is so important to vote in your local elections.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My girlfriend just complained that I’m not good at describing her.
She’s got a cheek!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have just left my old job working at the sewer.
Ten years down the drain.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Investor: So it’s like a spoon going into a baby’s mouth?
Orville Wright: But in the air, yes.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was invited to a wedding.
When he reached the hotel, he found two doors. The sign on one said
‘Bride Relatives’ and the other ‘Groom Relatives’.
He entered through the Groom door and found another two doors.
One had ‘Ladies’ on it, and the other ‘Men’.
Entering through the ‘Men’ door, the man came to a choice of doors called
‘People With Gifts’ and ‘People Without Gifts’.
He selected the ‘People Without Gifts’ door and found himself back
outside the hotel.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor: Your case is quite complicated.
Patient: Why, Doc? What has happened?
Doctor: You have a disease from the chapter of a medical book which I left
as optional during my studies.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A photon walks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his bags.
“No thanks, I’m travelling light.”
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?”
The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I showed my music class a short film about composer George Frideric Handel.
Afterwards, a student asked if that was really Handel or an actor playing
Handel.
“Well, Alex,” I said, “Handel lived way back in the 1700s. Does that give
you a hint?”
“Ah,” said Alex, realising his mistake. “It couldn’t have been him. If it
were really Handel from that long ago, the film would have been in
black-and-white.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A company owner was asked a question: “How do you motivate your employees
to be so punctual?”
He smiled and replied: “It’s simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free
parking spaces. One is paid parking.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
An assistant district attorney in the US was demoted for moonlighting
for a food delivery service when he should have been in the office. The
Week magazine asked its readers to title a TV show based on the scenario.
You may soon be watching:
• Law and Order In
• A Few Good Menus
• Food Court
• 12 Hungry Men
• Crime & Nourishment
• The Meals Of Justice
• CSI: KFC
• The French Fry Connection
--
webm...@moviesite.co.za
The Moviesite at http://www.moviesite.co.za
South Africa's greatest movie site. Ph. (021) 975-7273
A strong line-up this week, headlined by The Batman, which has received
praise from the press and public alike. Best viewed at IMAX or 4DX :-)
On the art side, we have Oscar hopeful (7 nominations) Belfast, for your
discerning pleasure. Note that the film is in monochrome.
Lastly, Bollywood offers Jhund, featuring stalwart Amitabh Bachchan.
New this week:
* Belfast (13 LVP)
* The Batman (16 LVD)
* The Batman (IMAX) (16 LVD)
* The Batman (4DX) (16 LVD)
* Jhund (Hindi)
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm
Forthcoming attractions
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm
Updated the pic and quote on the home page
https://www.moviesite.co.za/
This Week's pinup
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (3 full HD wallpapers ...)
List of all movies showing
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm
Same list sorted by Age Restriction
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm
Showtimes
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)
Enjoy :-)
Cheers, Ian
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’m so bad at small talk that I just asked the woman cutting my hair what
she does for a living.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman was getting swamped with calls from strangers because a billing
service had launched a number that was identical to hers.
When she called to complain, she was told to get a new number.
“I’ve had mine for 20 years,” she pleaded.
“Couldn’t you change yours?”
The company refused, so she said, “Fine. From now on, I’m going to tell
everyone who calls that their bill is paid in full.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words
become superfluous.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I played games with my son Luke, aged seven, I used to let him win.
But then I decided he should learn that in life things don’t always go your
way. So I won the next game.
This clearly bothered him.
In the supermarket later that day he said in a loud voice, while in a
long queue to the cashier, “Don’t beat me again, Mummy. I don’t like
it.”
I got some very suspicious looks!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The tenth Fast and Furious movie should be called Fast 10: Your Seatbelts.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jurassic Park is a movie about how just because something is great it
doesn’t mean you should bring it back, and it has three sequels.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don’t call me “honey” and expect it to soften the fact that you
SHRUNK THE KIDS.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The mayor in Jaws is still the mayor in Jaws 2.
It is so important to vote in your local elections.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My girlfriend just complained that I’m not good at describing her.
She’s got a cheek!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have just left my old job working at the sewer.
Ten years down the drain.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Investor: So it’s like a spoon going into a baby’s mouth?
Orville Wright: But in the air, yes.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was invited to a wedding.
When he reached the hotel, he found two doors. The sign on one said
‘Bride Relatives’ and the other ‘Groom Relatives’.
He entered through the Groom door and found another two doors.
One had ‘Ladies’ on it, and the other ‘Men’.
Entering through the ‘Men’ door, the man came to a choice of doors called
‘People With Gifts’ and ‘People Without Gifts’.
He selected the ‘People Without Gifts’ door and found himself back
outside the hotel.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor: Your case is quite complicated.
Patient: Why, Doc? What has happened?
Doctor: You have a disease from the chapter of a medical book which I left
as optional during my studies.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A photon walks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his bags.
“No thanks, I’m travelling light.”
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?”
The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I showed my music class a short film about composer George Frideric Handel.
Afterwards, a student asked if that was really Handel or an actor playing
Handel.
“Well, Alex,” I said, “Handel lived way back in the 1700s. Does that give
you a hint?”
“Ah,” said Alex, realising his mistake. “It couldn’t have been him. If it
were really Handel from that long ago, the film would have been in
black-and-white.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A company owner was asked a question: “How do you motivate your employees
to be so punctual?”
He smiled and replied: “It’s simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free
parking spaces. One is paid parking.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
An assistant district attorney in the US was demoted for moonlighting
for a food delivery service when he should have been in the office. The
Week magazine asked its readers to title a TV show based on the scenario.
You may soon be watching:
• Law and Order In
• A Few Good Menus
• Food Court
• 12 Hungry Men
• Crime & Nourishment
• The Meals Of Justice
• CSI: KFC
• The French Fry Connection
--
webm...@moviesite.co.za
The Moviesite at http://www.moviesite.co.za
South Africa's greatest movie site. Ph. (021) 975-7273
Reply all
Reply to author
Forward
0 new messages