The Moviesite Updates, 21 October 2011
2 views
Skip to first unread message
Ian Douglas
Oct 21, 2011, 9:47:04 AM10/21/11
to movies...@googlegroups.com
hi
Adult fare this week, and a Bollywood blockbuster for Diwali.
There's also quite a few previews on Saturday for the upcoming and highly
anticipated SA film Skeem ... see the previews page and remember to book.
M O V I E S
Released 21 October 2011
* Fright Night (16 LV)
* Fright Night (3D) (16 LV)
* Ceremony (13 LD)
* Killer Elite (16 LV)
* Contagion (13M)
* Black Butterflies (16 LSP)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm
Releasing 26 October 2011
* RA. One (Bollywood)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm
Added SA Top Ten and Cinema Nouveau Top 10
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm
Added US and UK Top Ten. The other industry news on this page is
updated daily.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm
Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, NuMetro, IMAX, MovieZone, CineCentre,
Woodlands, Knysna, and Labia cinemas, and SK and Menlyn Park drive-ins.)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm
Forthcoming attractions for 26 and 28 October
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm
Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/
This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (for the guys)
Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm
List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm
Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm
Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm
DVDs and BluRays:
Titles and details up later at
http://www.moviesite.co.za/videos/new.htm
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)
Cheers, Ian
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
ANSWERING MACHINE AT THE MENTAL HOSPITAL
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you
which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no
one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a
representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone
number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden
name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory
loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to
talk to you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
So I'm at the bar and this little Chinese guy is stood at the side of me.
So I asked him "do you know martial arts like Kung Fu and Ju-Jitsu"?
He replied "NO" why you ask me that.
Is it because I'm Chinese?
I said "no, it's because your drinking my beer!".
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A LITTLE TIME AGO WE HAD
STEVE JOBS,
BOB HOPE
AND JOHNNY CASH
NOW WE HAVE
NO JOBS,
NO HOPE
AND NO CASH
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little son of a Baptist minister was in church one morning when he saw
for the first time the rite of baptism by immersion. He was greatly
interested in it, and the next morning proceeded to baptise his three cats
in the bathtub.
The kitten bore it very well, and so did the young cat, but the old family
cat rebelled. It struggled with him, clawed and tore him, and got away.
With considerable effort he caught it again and proceeded with the ceremony.
But she acted worse than ever, clawed at him, spit, and scratched his hands
and face.
Finally, after barely getting her splattered with water, he dropped her on
the floor in disgust and said: "Fine, be a Methodist."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do
what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from
children"
--Author Unknown
"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job,
but if you ever get suckered into doing it, have fun with it. At the end
of the night, drop them off at the wrong house!"
--Jeff Foxworthy
"What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?"
--Marilyn Pittman
"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it
like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should
give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they
leave you, they should have to find you a temp."
--Bob Ettinger
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my
fish burger and I realise, I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery
"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be
dead."
--Johnny Carson
"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
--Paul Rodriguez
"Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have
to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What
is the logic in that? Do tall people burn slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson
"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they
can find Afghanistan."
--A. Whitney Brown
--
P.O. Box 484, Sanlamhof 7532, South Africa
The Moviesite at http://www.moviesite.co.za
South Africa's greatest movie site.
Adult fare this week, and a Bollywood blockbuster for Diwali.
There's also quite a few previews on Saturday for the upcoming and highly
anticipated SA film Skeem ... see the previews page and remember to book.
M O V I E S
Released 21 October 2011
* Fright Night (16 LV)
* Fright Night (3D) (16 LV)
* Ceremony (13 LD)
* Killer Elite (16 LV)
* Contagion (13M)
* Black Butterflies (16 LSP)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm
Releasing 26 October 2011
* RA. One (Bollywood)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm
Added SA Top Ten and Cinema Nouveau Top 10
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm
Added US and UK Top Ten. The other industry news on this page is
updated daily.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm
Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, NuMetro, IMAX, MovieZone, CineCentre,
Woodlands, Knysna, and Labia cinemas, and SK and Menlyn Park drive-ins.)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm
Forthcoming attractions for 26 and 28 October
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm
Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/
This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (for the guys)
Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm
List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm
Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm
Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm
DVDs and BluRays:
Titles and details up later at
http://www.moviesite.co.za/videos/new.htm
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)
Cheers, Ian
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
ANSWERING MACHINE AT THE MENTAL HOSPITAL
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you
which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no
one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a
representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone
number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden
name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory
loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to
talk to you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
So I'm at the bar and this little Chinese guy is stood at the side of me.
So I asked him "do you know martial arts like Kung Fu and Ju-Jitsu"?
He replied "NO" why you ask me that.
Is it because I'm Chinese?
I said "no, it's because your drinking my beer!".
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A LITTLE TIME AGO WE HAD
STEVE JOBS,
BOB HOPE
AND JOHNNY CASH
NOW WE HAVE
NO JOBS,
NO HOPE
AND NO CASH
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little son of a Baptist minister was in church one morning when he saw
for the first time the rite of baptism by immersion. He was greatly
interested in it, and the next morning proceeded to baptise his three cats
in the bathtub.
The kitten bore it very well, and so did the young cat, but the old family
cat rebelled. It struggled with him, clawed and tore him, and got away.
With considerable effort he caught it again and proceeded with the ceremony.
But she acted worse than ever, clawed at him, spit, and scratched his hands
and face.
Finally, after barely getting her splattered with water, he dropped her on
the floor in disgust and said: "Fine, be a Methodist."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do
what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from
children"
--Author Unknown
"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job,
but if you ever get suckered into doing it, have fun with it. At the end
of the night, drop them off at the wrong house!"
--Jeff Foxworthy
"What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?"
--Marilyn Pittman
"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it
like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should
give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they
leave you, they should have to find you a temp."
--Bob Ettinger
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my
fish burger and I realise, I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery
"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be
dead."
--Johnny Carson
"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
--Paul Rodriguez
"Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have
to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What
is the logic in that? Do tall people burn slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson
"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they
can find Afghanistan."
--A. Whitney Brown
--
P.O. Box 484, Sanlamhof 7532, South Africa
The Moviesite at http://www.moviesite.co.za
South Africa's greatest movie site.
Reply all
Reply to author
Forward
0 new messages