The Moviesite updates, 1 September 2023

[Ian Douglas]

Hi all

Only one new movie this week: The Equalizer 3, which has had decent reviews.

Some people consider today to be the first day of Spring... so stop and
smell the roses :-)

Enjoy. :-)

New this week

* The Equalizer 3 (16 LVPD)
* The Equalizer 3 (IMAX) (16 LVPD)

https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm

Forthcoming attractions
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm

Updated the home page poster
https://www.moviesite.co.za/

This Week's pinup
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (cellphone wallpaper)

List of all movies showing
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm

Same list sorted by Age Restriction
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm

Showtimes
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Enjoy :-)

Cheers, Ian

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Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer
suddenly announced, "A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing
$10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000."

There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came the
cry, "Two thousand five hundred!"

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A dad and his son are out camping when they hear a loud roar from outside
their tent.

Scrambling, they look outside and see a bear, standing on its hind legs.

"Roar!" the bear growls.

They begin to run away into the woods, but the bear doesn't give chase. In
fact, it's still standing there, looking at the tent.

"Roar!" the bear growls.

They stop and watch but it just keeps standing there. They inch closer, but
no reaction.

"Roar!" the bear growls.

They summon up all their courage and approach to within inches. No reaction.

"Roar!" the bear growls.

"I think this bear might be broken," observes the son.

The dad nods. "I think that bear's repeating."

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I saw an ad that said "Television for sale, R1, volume stuck on full."

And I thought to myself, I can't turn that down.

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How do you kill a circus?

Go for the juggler.

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Was out camping when a monk tried to sell me flowers but I said no.

I like to do my bit to prevent florist friars.

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I despise it when a couple has a minor quarrel and the girlfriend updates
her Facebook status to "single.”

I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status
to "orphan."

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I just saw this guy going up a hill with a wheelbarrow full of horseshoes,
four leaf clovers and rabbit's feet.

I thought: “He’s pushing his luck!”

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Attorney confronts an 80-year-old old man defendant... who had been
involved in an auto accident.

Atty: So how good would you say your vision is?

Man: Oh pretty good I would say.

Atty: Is that so? So how far can you see?

Man: I can see the moon. How far is that?

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I went to see the railway children the other day.

It was cancelled and I had to watch the railway replacement bus children
instead. Not as good.

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How many ears did Mr Spock have?

A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.

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Every once in a while I have a cup of tea while I'm reading.

It's a novelty.

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What do you call a dead bee?

A was.

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My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead.

She's at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died.

Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.

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My friend doesn't know how to milk a cow.

He's udderly ignorant.

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My suitcases overheard me saying I can’t afford a holiday this year.

Now I have emotional baggage.

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I made a model of Mount Everest.

Not to scale, just to look at.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger used to say "I'll be back." Then he got old...

Now he just says, "Ow! My back!"

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