The Moviesite updates, 23 February 2024
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Ian Douglas
Feb 23, 2024, 7:41:27 AMFeb 23
to movies...@googlegroups.com
Hi all
A busy week this week.
First up is the new local Afrikaans caper comedy, Frankie en Felipé.
From Japan, a re-edit of a TV series of Demon Slayer into a feature, in
Demon Slayer: To the Hashira Training.
Wednesday is back in a new role in Miller's Girl, which has raised some
eyebrows overseas because of the age gap in the sex scene.
Fresh from its success at the Golden Globes and BAFTAs, Oppenheimer is being
re-released in anticipation of success at the Oscars.
Bollywood has two releases, the sports actioner Crakk: Jeetega... Toh Jiyegaa,
and the military action thriller Article 370.
The Johannesburg Film Festival is running at Sandton City and The Zone, with
a wide variety of films on offer.
Next week sees Dune Part Two opening, there are premieres on Thursday night
at selected venues. Dress appropriately, but it may not be a good idea to
copy Zendaya's costume from the London premiere:
https://tinyurl.com/2y3lv49b
Enjoy. :-)
New this week
Demon Slayer: To the Hashira Training 13 LV
Frankie en Felipé 13 LV
Miller's Girl 16 LSD
Oppenheimer (re-release) 16 LSVDP
Crakk: Jeetega... Toh Jiyegaa
Article 370 Probably 13 V
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm
Forthcoming attractions
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm
Updated the home page poster
https://www.moviesite.co.za/
List of all movies showing
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm
Same list sorted by Age Restriction
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm
Showtimes
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)
Enjoy :-)
Cheers, Ian
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?
"Olive or Twist"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A bachelor is someone who is foot-loose and fiancé free.
Gold Digger is someone who's got what it takes to take what you got.
Lover's Leap is the distance between two twin beds.
Madam is someone for whom the belles toil.
Winter is the season when men befur blondes.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A recent study showed that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are cheating.
Now I've just got to figure out if it's my wife or my girlfriend.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I'm feeling sad I invest in the stock market.
I find it helps to have some company.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter has a beloved dachshund.
He's had her for years and loved her very much. She was fixed and vaccinated
and well looked after.
But one night she unfortunately escaped and after a couple of weeks Peter
noticed that she was pregnant!
Some time had passed and Peter couldn't believe it, but his beloved dog had
twin puppies. He decided to write a book about the experience and called it:
"Two Dachshunds in One: A Spayed Oddity"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My friend told me, “Your wife and daughter look like twins!”
I said, “Yes, they were separated at birth.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife asked me what "mansplaining" means.
...now what am I supposed to do?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blond woman was on the very top diving board of a swimming pool.
She was about to dive in when the attendant came running up, shouting,
“Don’t dive, there’s no water in that pool!”
“That’s all right!” said the woman. “I can’t swim!”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I told my son to relax, count to ten, and tell me if he had stolen the
cookies. He replied, "2, 3, 5, 7 No!"
I'm not sure, but he's my prime suspect.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
They say "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have."
Now I'm in a disciplinary meeting wearing a Batman costume.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you’re ever worried about your mental health, go for a run.
You will discover your physical health is much worse.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just invented the first thought controlled air freshener...
It makes scents when you think about it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Few people remember Canada had two Prime-Ministers with the same surname.
It's Trudeau.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I once met a man who had a pet wildebeest. I didn't even know you could have
one as a pet, but he told me he's had this one for quite a while.
Recently, in fact, he said that he had been trying to train his pet, and he
wanted to demonstrate his progress.
First the man threw a stick. "Fetch!" he said. But the wildebeest did nothing.
Next, the man said "Roll over!" Still, the wildebeest did not move.
Finally, he shouted "Speak!" but his pet did not make a sound.
Turns out you can't teach an old gnu dog tricks.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I told a joke on a Teams meeting at work today. Nobody laughed.
Turns out I'm not even remotely funny.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
"One! Because we are very effective and don't have a sense of humour!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A German explained to me what the colors in the German flag stood for.
Red = work
Yellow = work
Black = work
Blue = sense of humour
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't take elevators.
In fact, I take steps to avoid them.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A bloke goes to a psychiatrist.
He says “Doc I have been having really strange dreams for the last month”.
Doc asks “Ok. What are the dreams?”.
Bloke says “It’s like there is a football World Cup going on. Every night I
see a football match but with donkeys! It’s driving me crazy! That’s all I
think about all day”.
Doc smiles, thinks for a while, and says “Ok. Here is a prescription.
Take 2 pills tonight before sleeping and you won’t have any of those dreams
any longer.”
Bloke thanks the doctor profusely, gets up and walks to the door.
He pauses, turns around and asks the doc “Doc if it is ok, can I start the
medicine from tomorrow night?”.
Doc looks puzzled and asks him “Why? Why not tonight?”.
Bloke looks down and whispers “Tonight is the final”.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the funeral director who accidentally put the wrong
tombstone over the deceased?
It was a grave mistake.
--
webm...@moviesite.co.za
The Moviesite at http://www.moviesite.co.za
South Africa's greatest movie site. Ph. (021) 975-7273
A busy week this week.
First up is the new local Afrikaans caper comedy, Frankie en Felipé.
From Japan, a re-edit of a TV series of Demon Slayer into a feature, in
Demon Slayer: To the Hashira Training.
Wednesday is back in a new role in Miller's Girl, which has raised some
eyebrows overseas because of the age gap in the sex scene.
Fresh from its success at the Golden Globes and BAFTAs, Oppenheimer is being
re-released in anticipation of success at the Oscars.
Bollywood has two releases, the sports actioner Crakk: Jeetega... Toh Jiyegaa,
and the military action thriller Article 370.
The Johannesburg Film Festival is running at Sandton City and The Zone, with
a wide variety of films on offer.
Next week sees Dune Part Two opening, there are premieres on Thursday night
at selected venues. Dress appropriately, but it may not be a good idea to
copy Zendaya's costume from the London premiere:
https://tinyurl.com/2y3lv49b
Enjoy. :-)
New this week
Demon Slayer: To the Hashira Training 13 LV
Frankie en Felipé 13 LV
Miller's Girl 16 LSD
Oppenheimer (re-release) 16 LSVDP
Crakk: Jeetega... Toh Jiyegaa
Article 370 Probably 13 V
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm
Forthcoming attractions
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm
Updated the home page poster
https://www.moviesite.co.za/
List of all movies showing
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm
Same list sorted by Age Restriction
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm
Showtimes
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)
Enjoy :-)
Cheers, Ian
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?
"Olive or Twist"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A bachelor is someone who is foot-loose and fiancé free.
Gold Digger is someone who's got what it takes to take what you got.
Lover's Leap is the distance between two twin beds.
Madam is someone for whom the belles toil.
Winter is the season when men befur blondes.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A recent study showed that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are cheating.
Now I've just got to figure out if it's my wife or my girlfriend.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I'm feeling sad I invest in the stock market.
I find it helps to have some company.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter has a beloved dachshund.
He's had her for years and loved her very much. She was fixed and vaccinated
and well looked after.
But one night she unfortunately escaped and after a couple of weeks Peter
noticed that she was pregnant!
Some time had passed and Peter couldn't believe it, but his beloved dog had
twin puppies. He decided to write a book about the experience and called it:
"Two Dachshunds in One: A Spayed Oddity"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My friend told me, “Your wife and daughter look like twins!”
I said, “Yes, they were separated at birth.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife asked me what "mansplaining" means.
...now what am I supposed to do?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blond woman was on the very top diving board of a swimming pool.
She was about to dive in when the attendant came running up, shouting,
“Don’t dive, there’s no water in that pool!”
“That’s all right!” said the woman. “I can’t swim!”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I told my son to relax, count to ten, and tell me if he had stolen the
cookies. He replied, "2, 3, 5, 7 No!"
I'm not sure, but he's my prime suspect.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
They say "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have."
Now I'm in a disciplinary meeting wearing a Batman costume.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you’re ever worried about your mental health, go for a run.
You will discover your physical health is much worse.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just invented the first thought controlled air freshener...
It makes scents when you think about it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Few people remember Canada had two Prime-Ministers with the same surname.
It's Trudeau.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I once met a man who had a pet wildebeest. I didn't even know you could have
one as a pet, but he told me he's had this one for quite a while.
Recently, in fact, he said that he had been trying to train his pet, and he
wanted to demonstrate his progress.
First the man threw a stick. "Fetch!" he said. But the wildebeest did nothing.
Next, the man said "Roll over!" Still, the wildebeest did not move.
Finally, he shouted "Speak!" but his pet did not make a sound.
Turns out you can't teach an old gnu dog tricks.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I told a joke on a Teams meeting at work today. Nobody laughed.
Turns out I'm not even remotely funny.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
"One! Because we are very effective and don't have a sense of humour!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A German explained to me what the colors in the German flag stood for.
Red = work
Yellow = work
Black = work
Blue = sense of humour
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't take elevators.
In fact, I take steps to avoid them.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A bloke goes to a psychiatrist.
He says “Doc I have been having really strange dreams for the last month”.
Doc asks “Ok. What are the dreams?”.
Bloke says “It’s like there is a football World Cup going on. Every night I
see a football match but with donkeys! It’s driving me crazy! That’s all I
think about all day”.
Doc smiles, thinks for a while, and says “Ok. Here is a prescription.
Take 2 pills tonight before sleeping and you won’t have any of those dreams
any longer.”
Bloke thanks the doctor profusely, gets up and walks to the door.
He pauses, turns around and asks the doc “Doc if it is ok, can I start the
medicine from tomorrow night?”.
Doc looks puzzled and asks him “Why? Why not tonight?”.
Bloke looks down and whispers “Tonight is the final”.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the funeral director who accidentally put the wrong
tombstone over the deceased?
It was a grave mistake.
--
webm...@moviesite.co.za
The Moviesite at http://www.moviesite.co.za
South Africa's greatest movie site. Ph. (021) 975-7273
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