Marriage Guide Book In Urdu Pdf Download
Errolan Price
Marriage in Pakistan (Urdu: پاکستانی شادی) pertains to wedding traditions established and adhered by Pakistani men and women. Despite their local and regional variations, marriages in Pakistan generally follow Islamic marital jurisprudence.[1][2] Marriages are not only seen as a union between a husband and a wife, but also an alliance between their respective families.[3] These traditions extend to other countries around in the world where Overseas Pakistani communities exist.[4][5]
Searching for a potential groom or bride (رشتہ تلاش کرنا) is the first step of traditional Pakistani marriages. Beyond age 20, both men and women are considered potential grooms and brides. Most marriages in Pakistan are traditional arranged marriages, semi-arranged marriages or love marriages.
Once a decision has been made by either the man or woman or both, one or more representatives of the potential groom's family pay a visit to the potential bride's family. In arranged marriages, the first visit is purely for the parties to become acquainted with one another and does not include a formal proposal. Following the first visit, both the man and woman have their say in whether or not they would like a follow-up to this visit. Once both parties are in agreement, a proposal party (شادی کا پیام) is held at the bride's home, where the groom's parents and family elders formally ask the bride's parents for her hand in marriage. In semi-arranged marriages, the first or second visit may include a formal proposal, since both the man and woman have already agreed to marriage prior - the proposal is more or less a formality. In love marriages, the man directly proposes to the woman. Once the wedding proposal is accepted, beverages and refreshments are served. Depending on individual family traditions, the bride-to-be may also be presented with gifts such as jewelry and a variety of gifts. Some religious families may also recite Surah Al-Fatihah.
A typical Pakistani wedding, or Shaadi (شادی) consists of two main events - the Nikkah and Walima. Arranged and semi-arranged marriages in Pakistan often take long periods of time to finalize and up to a year or more can elapse from the day of engagement until the wedding ceremony. Wedding customs and celebrations vary upon ethnicity and religion.[10]
The Nikah (نِكاح) is the formal marriage ceremony where a marriage contract, or Nikahnama (نکاح نامہ), is signed by both the bride and the groom in presence of close family members. The Nikah is typically performed by a religious scholar at a mosque, such as an Imam, Mufti, Sheikh or Mullah, who in Pakistan will be licensed by the government to perform the ceremony. The bride and groom must both have two witnesses present to ensure that the marriage is consensual.
The Walima (ولِيمہ) is the formal reception hosted by the husband and wife and officially makes the marriage public. It is typically a huge celebration with many relatives and as well as invited guests of both families in attendance. Traditionally, the Walima was hosted at home but nowadays are increasingly being held at marriage halls, restaurants or hotels.
Baloch weddings are known to be lavish and short.[11] In Balochi language, the groom is referred to as the Saloonk, while the bride is referred to as the Banoor. Baloch marriages often takes only one or two days to complete.[12]
Zamati is referred to as the marriage proposal in Balochi language. Under Baloch cultural norms, elders of the potential groom's family visit the home of the potential bride's family and make an official request for their willingness for the two to be married. In the past, the decision to accept a proposal would be made by the family elders of the potential bride. Nowadays, the potential bride is asked if she would be interested in accepting the proposal. Once accepted, the would-be bride is presented with a decorated red scarf and gifts.
Attan ( اتڼ ) is a Pashtun dance usually performed at the end of the marriage ceremonies. Traditionally however, the dance was performed twice - once at the beginning of the wedding and once at the end.
Maklava is a predominantly a Punjabi custom. Traditionally, the marriages were arranged and often contracted between people from different cities and villages. This often meant that the bride was unfamiliar with her new family. To ease her into the new life and surroundings, she was brought back to her parents' house a few days after the wedding. She then spent some time at her parents' house before heading back to her new husband's home. This practice is still prevalent in most rural areas of the Punjab. In Northern Punjab and Kashmir, it is called Bad Phera (Exchange cycle).
Rasm-e-mehndi/henna (رسمی حنا) or mehndi (مہندی) is a ceremony that is named after henna, a dye prepared from the Lawsonia inermis plant which is mixed into a paste form to apply onto the hands of the bride and groom. This event is held a few days before the main wedding ceremony and was traditionally held separately for the bride and the groom. However the ceremony is often now combined and held at a marriage hall. The groom will typically wear a casual black or white shalwar qameez, sherwani or western suit while the bride will typically wear an embroidered brightly colored shalwar kameez, sari or lehnga. The dress may or may not be accompanied by jewelry, depending upon region and ethnic background. In some ceremonies, a certain number of married women who are closely related to the bride may apply henna to her hands, and feed her sweets. This ritual is supposed to bring good luck and longevity to the bride's married life. Sometimes elaborate musical and acting performances are part of the Rasm-e-Heena celebrations, as well as competitions between the bride and groom's families are also quite common these days. Traditionally this was considered a "woman's event" as men did not participate in it. However this has changed substantially in recent generations with males featuring prominently. In some regions, Rasm-e-Heena is not celebrated while in other regions two Rasm-e-Heena celebrations are hosted, one by the groom's family and another by the bride's family.
First the family of groom finds the suitable bride for their son, in sindh mostly the marriages are arranged and done among relatives, or in same castes, but today love marriages are also common, the boy's family first visits the girl's home, they ask girl's parents for getting their daughter married to their son. Or if the boy and girl love each other they talk to their parents, and then the boy's family visits the girl's house, where they ask for their daughter. When the parents of girl with girl's approval accept the proposal then sweets and milk are served, and everyone give prayers to the new couple to be, this meeting is called "Gaalh Paki"
On the day of Manghno the groom's family arrives at bride's house with a long veil (pothi), cholo (bodice), suthan (pantaloons), sometimes also lengha is given, and some ornamentals such as "haar" necklace, a "Var" and "Khirol" different kinds of gold rings. The bride's house is decorated already before guests arrival, and the house usually divided into the two parties the males sit chatting with the men, and the females, accompanied by a Hajaman (barber's wife). The future bride is then dressed in the clothes and ornaments, seated in a conspicuous part of room, The bridegroom's mother first put a big embroidered veil "Pothi" on to bride, and put engagement ring into her finger, then the 7 "suhaganio" married women one by one apply oil on her hair and make braids, also apply henna on her hands, while making her eat sweets, while other ladies sing sehra/lada/geech (traditional folk songs), the bride's mother sends the barber's wife to the men's assembly with a large pot of milk directed to the father of the bridegroom. The Hajaman presents to the males, and compels them to drink with many compliments and congratulations, then sweets, dried dates and "patasa" are served both male and female sides, those who are wealthy would serve sweet rice (Zardo), and sindhi pulao/biryani with other items. Men then dance with joy on the sound of dhol, sharnai and on other instruments. After much joy the males then raise their hands and recite the Fatihah: after this the girl's father is asked to appoint some time for the marriage. He does so naming the month and day, upon which all parties rise up and leave the house. When arrived at this part of the proceeding, it is considered improper to break off the match.
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