2 To The Second, 2 To The Third Puns
Tim Bruening
"Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote in message
news:<10bk3hn...@corp.supernews.com>...
> Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > On Sat, 29 May 2004 11:40:33 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
> >
> >>>>>>> I don't know about that. It's now safe to walk at night in
> >>>>>>> south central LA. Just make sure that you don't trip over
Toto.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> You mean Pygthurpygthur?
> >>>>>
> >>>>> No. I don't use that word. The only ones who use it are Keith,
> >>>>> Elisabeth and impressionable youngsters who think they're cool
> >>>>> when they use it.
> >>>>
> >>>> Shouldn't you use pygthur? It will be a way pygthur hang
onpygthur
> >>>> your last traces of coolness.
> >>>
> >>> dougal, if I was any cooler I'd be frozen solid!
> >>
> >> That's the effect of your viagra, not being cool.
> >
> > Do you keep your Viagra in the freezer?
>
> I told you, I don't drive a Honda, no matter what model.
Honda, Mazda: Father cars. Do you know any others?
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
> Exporting: Bells sents overseas.
>
> Importing: Bells brought into this country.
>
> Porting: A bell with little money.
>
> Porting: Opposite of Starboarding.
>
> Porting: To bring the bells to port.
>
> Reporting: To bring the bells to port again.
Heidi: A Demon in the air or in Heaven.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:424D037A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Dreamer: Ocean of fantasies.
> >
> > Dreaming: Chinese vase of fantasies.
> >
> > Fanti-sea: Ocean of dreams.
> >
>
> 1/4 puns? OK.
>
> Does a confectioner who only sells sweets by the half-pound give no
quarter?
>
> Quarterstaff: Workers after a very nasty accident.
>
> Hindquarters: Rooms for a female red deer.
>
> Headquarters: What you sometimes see when you look a contortionist in
the
> face.
>
> Quartermaster: Hotel manager.
Quarter Horse: 1/4th of an equine.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:424D037A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Dreamer: Ocean of fantasies.
> >
> > Dreaming: Chinese vase of fantasies.
> >
> > Fanti-sea: Ocean of dreams.
> >
>
> 1/4 puns? OK.
>
> Does a confectioner who only sells sweets by the half-pound give no
quarter?
>
> Quarterstaff: Workers after a very nasty accident.
>
> Hindquarters: Rooms for a female red deer.
I had thought that a hind was a male and a doe a female.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:419DA199...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > "Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)" wrote:
> >
> > > On Mon, 17 May 2004 19:24:36 +0100, "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass.wet>
> > > wrote in alt.tasteless.jokes in message
> > > <1r7qc.10280$J_7...@front-1.news.blueyonder.co.uk>:
> > >
> > > >> Does she fear cats?
> > > >>
> > > >Hey Nonnie No! - She only fears Olde Englishe folksongs!
> > > >
> > >
> > > Doesn't everyone?
> >
> > Who's afraid of Virginia Wolfe?
>
> Nobody. It's Virginia Woolf they're all scared of.
>
> And at about the same time, Marie Stopes to Conquer all those prejudiced
> against sensible berth control, solving the huge problem of lots of
> passengers all going after the same bunk.
>
> Q: D'ya want a silversmith??
>
> A: Narr: Oliver Goldsmith instead.
How about a Uraniumsmith?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
news:vivup09g3ujpin92n...@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 20 Nov 2004 16:22:17 -0000, "Stimpy"
<stimpy...@yahoo.com>
found
> these unused words floating about:
>
> >Tim Bruening wrote:
> >> 8 days to Thanksgiving.
> >
> >Thanksgiving? What's that then?
> >
> That's when the Brits were glad to have Indian neighbors ...
>
I still got lotsa dem - neighboUrs, that is. Our estate is over 2/3rds
Bengali! Nice people too.
We even have an old disused community hall that they've converted into
a
Mosque. They made a very good job of it too - considering it used to
be a
youth club until the client-hell decided to smash it all up and that's
how
it was left.
Youth Club: What the police should be allowed to use to keep Somers
Town
hooligans in line.
Turkey Club: Poultry that slams your head.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40A1E2CF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Gillian V wrote:
> >
> > > "J. A. Mc." <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> > > news:4etf109tf60ia4nsf...@4ax.com...
> > > > On 28 Jan 2004 13:18:39 GMT, Dr Tormento <re...@togroup.com> found
> these
> > > > unused words floating about:
> > > >
> > > > >"KIMEVANS" <kime...@bigpond.com> wrote in
> news:YPNRb.32277$Wa.4650@news-
> > > > >server.bigpond.net.au:
> > > > >
> > > > >> I think I may have caught bird flu....I'm feeling rather peckish.
> > > > >
> > > > >That's no way to beakin a thread!
> > > >
> > > > Yes, it's not a crop, her start.
> > >
> > > It's enough to get you into a flap, though.
> >
> > Balk balk balk balk balk!
> >
> You have *five* snooker tables? So you got thirty pockets. You must be very
> rich.
Snooker: Deceitful dog.
Tim Bruening
KIMEVANS wrote:
> "john czarnuszewicz" <jac...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
> news:uI9zb.142460$Ec1.5...@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
> > People who die find themselves in a grave situation.
> >
> > after months and months of coughin'
That one flu like a lead balloon.
Balloon: Crazy sheep.
Kimevans: Large Korean vehicles.
Tim Bruening
Eloping: Low bell on the Internet.
Entrant: Ant that allows entry.
Sibilant: Singing ant.
Sicken: Home of disease.
Sicker: Ill dog.
Sickly: Ill Korean.
Tim Bruening
Peasantry: Low class tree.
Peafowl: Urinating bird.
Peaking: Toilet king.
Pentagram: 5 messages.
Penthouses: 5 houses.
Tim Bruening
Turtle keeper: Terry Pinn
Mermaid Barbie: Dolphin
I have never driven down the TernPike, but I have seen Hair-ons,
C-Gulls, E-Gulls, Doll Fin fish, and Tuna.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Hauke Reddmann <fc3...@uni-hamburg.de> wrote in message
> news:clt01a$m02$2...@rzsun03.rrz.uni-hamburg.de...
> > Ate some dried fruit. The mango and pineapple was good,
> > but then I ran into some fruit that tasted like spinach.
> >
> > Was a popeyea.
> >
> You poor-poor soul you.
Sexually exhausted woman: When will the MANGO to sleep?
DNA: Demon genes.
Gee Gnome: Mythical creature with the talent of causing mutations and
altering the force of gravity.
nemo
DAF: Car owned by a crazy duck!
nemo
nemo
nemo
He wouldn't last long. He'd soon be depleted!
nemo
noun: female red deer
stag n.
The adult male of various deer, especially the red deer.
nemo
Club Sandwich: Made with very hard stale bread so you can hit somebody in
the head with it!
BTW. Curry's nearly done and the Basmati rice is gently simmering, with
cardamoms and pieces of cinnamon bark in it.
Basmati rice. I could eat it Tilda cows come home!
http://www.tilda.com/html/index.htm
Wish these silly sods wouldn't bother with flash - especially when the
curry's in the pan!
Nemo
Not for nothing the Numbo One Punster!
For £3 - 18s - 11½d actually!
Who's da man?? Who's da man??
nemo
Candy Evans is nicer looking!! (Oh what a giveaway!)
nemo
Not bad - not bad!
Genetics: Sound made by a female donkey who's swallowed and old-fashioned
clock!