April 22 Puns
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4266440C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "drmachler" <drma...@tampabay.rr.com> wrote in message
> > > news:bJe9e.8464$_t3....@tornado.tampabay.rr.com...
> > > >
> > > > "nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit> wrote in message
> > > > news:%059e.59830$mV1....@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>
> > > > > news:4264ACAC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >> JohnWarrenHines wrote:
> > > > >>
> > > > >> > Did you hear of the dyslexic playright who wrote a three
> cat
> > > play?
> > > > >>
> > > > >> No, but I heard about him worshipping Dog.
> > > > >
> > > > > And he got a punch in the mouth when he said he wanted Shorn
> > > Connery.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > His bumper sticker said, :Dyslexic on Broad"
> > > >
> > > Looks like he was dyspunctic too!
> > >
> > > The best one is still a send up of an AIDS warning ad that was all
>
> > > over the
> > > newspapers in the early days of the terrible disease:
> > >
> > > ADIS
> > > Don't Die Of Dylexia!
> > >
> > > I think it appeared in Private Eye magazine.
> > >
> > > The original said "Don't Die Of Ignorance," seedless to neigh.
> >
> > TARDIS: Time traveling road material, or the material needed to
> build a
> > time traveling road.
> >
> Or Asphalt being heavily criticised!
Dispatch: To heavily criticize a small garden plot.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42664BED...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Nestorius wrote:
> >
> > > What did the clumsy soft thick-bodied North Atlantic fish with
> pelvic
> fins
> > > fused into a sucker say when he heard that he and his fish-mates
> was
> going
> > > to be a part of a fish study?
> > >
> > > I hope they don't lump us all together
> >
> > That sounds fishy.
>
> The builders must have been eating lumpfish when they laid my nice new
>
> floor! After the Site manager insisted the bumps were normal in front
> of two
> Ward Councillors and two Council officials, he's been told it's all
> got to
> be done again minus the lumps!
>
> Like a large fisherman out in a storm, it's a case of "How are the
> mighty
> squallen?"
Mighty: Tea drunk by Popeye the Sailor Man.
Tim Bruening
Bill Colmers wrote:
> "nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit> wrote in message
> news:i8M9e.124909$Nr5.1...@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
>
> > If a woman turns around suddenly and her bazoom knocks your head
> off, have
> > you been D-cupitated?
>
> Laddy, that is the most truly witty, unconvoluted pun I've heard from
> you in
> many a posting!
Laddy: Demon kid.
Surrealism: Knight of weird paintings.
nemo
nemo
Midgets planning how to steal all your flowers: Small garden plot.
>
nemo
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Will they also steal my flour?
nemo
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Bamboo: Ghost tree.
ur_droll
> nemo wrote:
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >news:4266440C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> > > nemo wrote:
>
> > > > "drmachler" <drmach...@tampabay.rr.com> wrote in message
> > > >news:bJe9e.8464$_t3....@tornado.tampabay.rr.com...
>
> > > > > "nemo" <n...@newtylust.nit> wrote in message
> > > > >news:%059e.59830$mV1....@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
>
> > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>
> > > > > >news:4264ACAC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> > > > > >> JohnWarrenHines wrote:
>
> > > > > >> > Did you hear of the dyslexic playright who wrote a three
> > cat
> > > > play?
>
> > > > > >> No, but I heard about him worshipping Dog.
>
> > > > > > And he got a punch in the mouth when he said he wanted Shorn
> > > > Connery.
>
> > > > > His bumper sticker said, :Dyslexic on Broad"
>
> > > > Looks like he was dyspunctic too!
>
> > > > The best one is still a send up of an AIDS warning ad that was all
>
> > > > over the
> > > > newspapers in the early days of the terrible disease:
>
> > > > ADIS
> > > > Don't Die Of Dylexia!
>
> > > > I think it appeared in Private Eye magazine.
>
> > > > The original said "Don't Die Of Ignorance," seedless to neigh.
>
> > > TARDIS: Time traveling road material, or the material needed to
> > build a
> > > time traveling road.
>
> > Or Asphalt being heavily criticised!
>
> Dispatch: To heavily criticize a small garden plot.
Feck off
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Bamboo: Ghost tree.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Will they also steal my flour?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Bamboo: Ghost tree.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:407C57B9...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:407A3F36...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Ole-Factory: A factory that manufactures perfumes, or a factory
> > > > constructed long ago.
> > > >
> > > > Perfume: Unit of pricing of pollution.
> > > >
> > > > Perfume: Unit of pricing of anger.
> > >
> > > Olé-factory: A factory in Spain.
> >
> > Barcelona: City of jails, lawyers, and establishments selling beer.
> >
> Budapest: City of statues of a Far Eastern prophet and rats. mice, salesmen,
> lawyers etc.
Bonn: City of German buns.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:407C581E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:407A3F98...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Vulnerable: Easily defeated bull.
> > > >
> > > > Trouble: Another mean bull.
> > > >
> > > > Kabul: Afghan Bull.
> > > >
> > > > Frantic: Excitable tic.
> > > >
> > > > Romantic: A tic in love.
> > > >
> > > > Rustic: Oxygenated iron tic.
> > > >
> > > > Attic: A high tic.
> > >
> > > Boydem attic puns will keep comin back!
> > >
> > > Romantic: Flea on a Centurian.
> >
> > Erratic: Parasite on a rodent ear.
> >
> Erotic: Parasite caused to decompose by a downloaded virus.
I thought that Eroting would be an aphrodisiac tic.
Eroding: Bell on the Information Superhighway.
Tim Bruening
Aiming: Arrow vase.
Arming: Explosive vase.
Beaming: Honey producing vase.
Claming: Shelled marine Chinese vase.
Cramming: Vase filled with junk.
Cramming: Vase studying for a test.
Tim Bruening
Damming: Vase of a mother deer.
Hamming: Pig vase.
Ramming: Male sheep vase.
Slamming: Vase that hits hard.
Timing: Clock vase.
Timing: Time traveling Chinese vase.
Timing: Vase from Thailand.
Tim Bruening
J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
news:a39b6017ln6tcl59t...@4ax.com...
> On 27 Mar 2004 10:53:13 GMT, johnnai...@aol.com (Johnnaishwerner)
found
> these unused words floating about:
>
> >A musician was recently hospitalized with a bad case of scherzophrenia.
> They administered too much medication and he lay in a coda for days.
Coda: Husband of Coma.
Comma: Mother of punctuation.
Comma: Mother of a computer.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:41D662CD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Bob Crowley wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:<40FDD547...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > Syringe: A needle knight.
> >
> > Lancelot - knight who likes blood letting.
>
> Sermon: Priest knight.
Surreptitious: Knight who looks after snakes with colds.
Smitt: Snake glove.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:45EF9F73...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:407DD07E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Niki: Shoes that unlock.
> > > >
> > > > Sneakers: Shoe dogs.
> > > >
> > > > Snickers: Candy dogs that have peanuts.
> > > >
> > > > Snickers: Laughing dogs.
> > >
> > > Knickers: Police dogs!
> >
> > Doming: Half spherical Chinese vase.
>
> Placebo Domingo: Very spherical fake opera singer whose singing people
> imagine does them good.
Placebo: Shoots Placearrows.
Tim Bruening
Jenni Saqua wrote:
> "J. A. Mc." <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> news:73gf40tlcem1842nq...@4ax.com...
> > On Fri, 5 Mar 2004 08:47:15 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> > <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
> >
> > >J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > >> On Thu, 4 Mar 2004 16:37:13 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> > >> <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
> > >>
> > >>> Kathy wrote:
> > >>>> "Cybe R. Wizard" <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message
> > >>>> news:20040303194805.040219c6@WizardsTower...
> > >>>>> On Thu, 4 Mar 2004 11:44:15 +1030
> > >>>>> "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote:
> > >>>>>
> > >>>>>> artyw wrote:
> > >>>>>>> "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
> > >>>>>>> news:<4045b98c$0$12760$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au>...
> > >>>>>>>> My new bf is a landscape gardener..but all he wants me to do in
> > >>>>>>>> bed is grown and mown. :-(
> > >>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>> Do you get plowed first?
> > >>>>>>
> > >>>>>> Why do you ask..are you a rake?
> > >>>>>>
> > >>>>> Is this how you gals plan t'ings?
> > >>>>>
> > >>>> I think she is attempting a seeduction here.
> > >>>
> > >>> I thought weed already agreed you wood knot interfere!
> > >>>
> > >> That's a scythe of relief.
> > >
> > >I wish someone would stem these commie posts!!
> > >
> > Jest keep hammering at 'em. (gittin' late Moscow now.)
> >
> That seems nonsense sickle.
Redding: Town where rouge bells live in CA.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42EB0003...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Alligator: One who makes allegations.
> >
> > Allocate: To find Al Gore.
> >
> > Goring: Ring worn by Al.
>
> Goebbels: High speed ringing propaganda minister.
>
> Propaganda: Puritanical goose.
Puritan: Religious conservative in the sun.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44CF01AD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Drastic: Twig that takes desperate measures.
> >
> > Elastic: Twig that stretches.
> >
> > Fantastic: A very interesting twig.
> >
> > Plastic: Flexible twig generally made from petroleum.
> >
> > Spastic: Twig that twitches.
>
> Mastic: The sound of the church clock audible during services.
Son Dial: Cell phone of Jesus.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44D1C276...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:44CF01E0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Randolf Richardson wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>" wrote in
> alt.humor.puns:
> > > > > > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> > > > > >> On 6 Feb 2004 18:46:37 -0800, art...@yahoo.com (artyw) found
> these
> > > > > >> unused words floating about:
> > > > > >>> Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> > > > > >>> news:<68SUb.1256$wt....@newssvr23.news.prodigy.com>...
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>>> At the White House: We want you to fillmore at home
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Dont Polk fun at our presidents.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Carter explain?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > If you can a Ford the time.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Did Nixon ever visit Dixon?
> > > > >
> > > > > Don't Grover do it now!
> > > >
> > > > Did Nixon have a vixen?
> > >
> > > Evixion: Throwing a fox out of its home!
> >
> > E Street: Where computers live.
> >
> Easy Street: Where a bully with a hard head and stuck-on eyebrows lived next
> to a lamp post made of lead!
>
> (That street's pretty similar to a few around here in Somers Town!)
>
> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0007880/
X Street: Where aliens live.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:426901FC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44A8BDFD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41ECAC2F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "Keith E." wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Wed, 28 Apr 2004 00:31:28 -0700 was a day just like any other,
> > > > > until Larry Krzewinski <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote:
> > > > > >On Wed, 28 Apr 2004 02:55:42 GMT, Keith E. <i.m....@aol.com>
> > wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>Don't get sniffy with me, young man!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>Don't worry, I keep nose plugs with me at all times.
> > > > > >>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>You might just want to trim your nose hair once it gets
> > that
> > > thick,
> > > > > >>>>>>>Keith.
> > > > > >>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>I tried, but it objected.
> > > > > >>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>So that's where your handlebar mustache came from!
> > > > > >>>>
> > > > > >>>>No, that came off a bicycle. It's just a realistic paint job.
> >
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>>I thought the red handlebar grips with the multicolored
> > streamers
> > > were
> > > > > >>>a bit much, though.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >>They aren't streamers, they're snot wicks. They work kinda like
> >
> > > > > >>those fancy clothes that wick sweat from your body.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >That'll make you popular with the ladies!
> > > > >
> > > > > They want me for my classy ways.
> > > >
> > > > Have you ever tried to TUNAFISH?
> > >
> > > To which key?
> >
> > Airlock: Keeps oxygen from being stolen.
>
> Padlock: Keeps blocks of writing paper from being stolen.
>
> Deadlock: Prevents grave robbing!
Locking: King of locks.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44A78C97...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4317E6E3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:4271AF83...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > > Thailand: A country that breaks even.
> > > > >
> > > > > Ukraine: I Kraine, Ukraine, He Kraines, etc.
> > > >
> > > > Narr. It's lifting gear for raising very heavy female sheep and
> > featured
> > in
> > > > the first or second pun I ever posted on here:
> > > >
> > > > "Me Tarzan. Ukraine!"
> > >
> > > It can also raise a certain kind of tree.
> >
> > But only when powered by a hornbeam-engine. Nothing else woodwork!
> >
> > Ukraine: Small guitars falling from the sky.
> >
> > Fall Ling: Autumn in China.
>
> Fall Ling China? You'll need a hard hat!
U Kraine: University nation.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40FE1A27...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Surfing: King of the ocean.
>
> That'd be surking, not surfing!
>
> Surk it and sea!
Surking would be a knight who's a king.
Tim Bruening
Ceasing: Computerized song.
Circuit: Electrical knight.
Easing: Song on the Internet.
Icing: Another Internet song.
Transistor: A daughter of the Mother Board.
Tim Bruening
Kathy wrote:
> "ynotssor" <"ynotssor"> wrote in message
> news:3fae7...@corp.newsgroups.com...
> > "Buffalo Chilkat" <mam...@watering.hole> wrote in message
> > news:h6tsqv4to30atn26o...@4ax.com
> >
> > > Organic farming - growing crops in Oregon.
> >
> > Organic farming - harvesting organasms.
> >
> Organic farming - harvesting organs.
Shades of Larry Niven!
Bootlegger: One who fits legs to boots.
Tim Bruening
Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> just wondering <fmh...@comcast.net> wrote:
>
> >If you have to explain it, it ain't funny.
>
> That's why it is called "Bartoshing" ... and we have Mr. Humor (aka
> Mr. Bartosh) to thank for this wonderful new word that replaces your
> 9-word phrase!
Bartosh: Where toes drink beer?
Bartosh: To ban toes?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42690020...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4266440C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "drmachler" <drma...@tampabay.rr.com> wrote in message
> > > > > news:bJe9e.8464$_t3....@tornado.tampabay.rr.com...
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit> wrote in message
> > > > > > news:%059e.59830$mV1....@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > >
> > > > > > > news:4264ACAC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >> JohnWarrenHines wrote:
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >> > Did you hear of the dyslexic playright who wrote a three
> > > cat
> > > > > play?
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >> No, but I heard about him worshipping Dog.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > And he got a punch in the mouth when he said he wanted Shorn
> > > > > Connery.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > His bumper sticker said, :Dyslexic on Broad"
> > > > > >
> > > > > Looks like he was dyspunctic too!
> > > > >
> > > > > The best one is still a send up of an AIDS warning ad that was all
> > >
> > > > > over the
> > > > > newspapers in the early days of the terrible disease:
> > > > >
> > > > > ADIS
> > > > > Don't Die Of Dylexia!
> > > > >
> > > > > I think it appeared in Private Eye magazine.
> > > > >
> > > > > The original said "Don't Die Of Ignorance," seedless to neigh.
> > > >
> > > > TARDIS: Time traveling road material, or the material needed to
> > > build a
> > > > time traveling road.
> > > >
> > > Or Asphalt being heavily criticised!
> >
> > Dispatch: To heavily criticize a small garden plot.
>
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44A78C97...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4317E6E3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Jenni Saqua wrote:
> "J. A. Mc." <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> news:73gf40tlcem1842nq...@4ax.com...
> > On Fri, 5 Mar 2004 08:47:15 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> > <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:41D662CD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Bob Crowley wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:45EF9F73...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
> On 27 Mar 2004 10:53:13 GMT, johnnai...@aol.com (Johnnaishwerner)
> these unused words floating about:
>
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:407C57B9...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:407A3F36...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Ole-Factory: A factory that manufactures perfumes, or a factory
> > > > constructed long ago.
> > > >
> > > > Perfume: Unit of pricing of pollution.
> > > >
> > > > Perfume: Unit of pricing of anger.
> > >
> > > Olé-factory: A factory in Spain.
> >
> > Barcelona: City of jails, lawyers, and establishments selling beer.
> >
> Budapest: City of statues of a Far Eastern prophet and rats. mice, salesmen,
> lawyers etc.
Bonn: City of German buns.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:407C581E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:407A3F98...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Vulnerable: Easily defeated bull.
> > > >
> > > > Trouble: Another mean bull.
> > > >
> > > > Kabul: Afghan Bull.
> > > >
> > > > Frantic: Excitable tic.
> > > >
> > > > Romantic: A tic in love.
> > > >
> > > > Rustic: Oxygenated iron tic.
> > > >
> > > > Attic: A high tic.
> > >
> > > Boydem attic puns will keep comin back!
> > >
> > > Romantic: Flea on a Centurian.
> >
> > Erratic: Parasite on a rodent ear.
> >
> Erotic: Parasite caused to decompose by a downloaded virus.
I thought that Eroting would be an aphrodisiac tic.
Eroding: Bell on the Information Superhighway.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44A78C97...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4317E6E3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44A8BDFD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:426901FC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44D1C276...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:44CF01E0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Randolf Richardson wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>" wrote in
> alt.humor.puns:
> > > > > > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> > > > > >> On 6 Feb 2004 18:46:37 -0800, art...@yahoo.com (artyw) found
> these
> > > > > >> unused words floating about:
> > > > > >>> Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> > > > > >>> news:<68SUb.1256$wt....@newssvr23.news.prodigy.com>...
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>>> At the White House: We want you to fillmore at home
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Dont Polk fun at our presidents.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Carter explain?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > If you can a Ford the time.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Did Nixon ever visit Dixon?
> > > > >
> > > > > Don't Grover do it now!
> > > >
> > > > Did Nixon have a vixen?
> > >
> > > Evixion: Throwing a fox out of its home!
> >
> > E Street: Where computers live.
> >
> Easy Street: Where a bully with a hard head and stuck-on eyebrows lived next
> to a lamp post made of lead!
>
> (That street's pretty similar to a few around here in Somers Town!)
>
> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0007880/
X Street: Where aliens live.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44CF01AD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Drastic: Twig that takes desperate measures.
> >
> > Elastic: Twig that stretches.
> >
> > Fantastic: A very interesting twig.
> >
> > Plastic: Flexible twig generally made from petroleum.
> >
> > Spastic: Twig that twitches.
>
> Mastic: The sound of the church clock audible during services.
Son Dial: Cell phone of Jesus.
nemo
Narrr. Garden gnomes will though - especially ones from Zurich! They only do
it in wheat weather, and Rye? -nobody knows! Soya bean lead up the garden
path.
Zurich: A haystack that they feed the captive animals from.
Nemo.
In 2007, retirement was heaven,
And it's still quite divine in 2009!
I'd be much better off as a fiddling MP,
But graft and corruption are alien to me!
nemo
Or horseradish eaten by female sheep at Pesach!
Afikoman wouldn't know that!
nemo
Puri Tan: Skin colouring caused by Indian inflated bread thingeys with a Sir
Feet of Haldi!
That's turrrmeric, not 2meric. Even that gorgeous Nigella Lawson
pissmronounces it like that! Why people can't pronounce the 'r' I don't
know. Still - you try to find somebody who doesn't say 'vunlerable' for
vulnerable!
Nemo.
In 2007, retirement was heaven,
And it's still quite divine in 2009!
I'd be much better off as a fiddling MP,
But graft and corruption are alien to me!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8087000.stm
nemo
Babbage was the father of the computer with his Difference Engine, or was it
the Moslems around 500 years ago with their mechanical calculating machines?
There's a small one in the British Museum. And people think all Moslems are
thick or teyrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsts! If they ever put the BBC TV series,
"Science and Islam" on in the US, watch it. It's fascinating and a real
eye-opener.
nemo
Souperhighway: The street where the millions of unemployed could get a free
meal during The Great Depression - also caused by Capitalism and not by
left-wing politics BTW.
Worth remembering before you Merkins slag off Liberals and Socialists. They
didn't cause it or the recession we've got now. It was and is, all caused by
Capitalism.
If we're all supposed to dutifully accept Capitalism as the best thing since
sliced bread, perfectly normal, the only thing that works and unchangeable,
it's about time the fat rich establishment bastards, w . . . sorry, bankers
and MPs got it to work better than this!
Still - I should worry with my nice fat Pension Credit and Housing and
Council Tax Benefits coming in each week and my Freedom Pass and 15%
discount on my electricity - just for being over 60!
nemo
If it's a small one, would it be a testicle?
nemo
Cravatming: Posh ceramic neckwear from Thailand.
nemo
The best locksmiths also manufacture detergents: The Lever Brothers.
nemo
Suking would be the monarch of Arab marketplaces.
Surplus: A Riff metical knight.
Berber: A belching Arab!
Belching: The sound of a lot of small gongs all ratting together in the
wind.
Nemo.
In 2007, retirement was heaven,
And it's still quite divine in 2009!
I'd be much better off as a fiddling MP,
But graft and corruption are alien to me!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8087555.stm
nemo
It also describes being hit and surprised at the same time.
nemo
Elmer Fudd: Cartoon cawwikter up a twwee - lookin for wabbits!
nemo
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:407C57B9...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:407A3F36...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > Ole-Factory: A factory that manufactures perfumes, or a factory
> > > > > constructed long ago.
> > > > >
> > > > > Perfume: Unit of pricing of pollution.
> > > > >
> > > > > Perfume: Unit of pricing of anger.
> > > >
> > >
> > > Barcelona: City of jails, lawyers, and establishments selling beer.
> > >
> > Budapest: City of statues of a Far Eastern prophet and rats. mice,
salesmen,
> > lawyers etc.
>
> Bonn: City of German buns.
That's rather an arsch comment!
Chipping Sodbury: Town where there they knock pieces off gays.
Ipswich: Town where there they manufacture electrical upper leg joint
prosthetics.
Southampton: Willie in the right place.
Northampton: Willie on the top of a bloke's bonce, hence the term: dick
head!
http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/slang/hampton_wick
nemo
How many more of these mother boards we gonna get. Are you selling them
holesale.
It's a pity that road-menders can't buy holes. It'd save em a lot of
digging.
nemo
> > > > Syringe: A needle knight.
> > >
> > > Lancelot - knight who likes blood letting.
> >
> > Sermon: Priest knight.
>
> Surreptitious: Knight who looks after snakes with colds.
>
> Smitt: Snake glove.
Schmidt: German version.
Messerschmidt: Incontinent flying knife-maker. Silly Fokker!
Nemo.
In 2007, retirement was heaven,
And it's still quite divine in 2009!
I'd be much better off as a fiddling MP,
But graft and corruption are alien to me!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8087000.stm
nemo
> > > On Fri, 5 Mar 2004 08:47:15 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> > > <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
> > >
> > > >J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > >> On Thu, 4 Mar 2004 16:37:13 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> > > >> <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating
about:
> > > >>
> > > >>> Kathy wrote:
> > > >>>> "Cybe R. Wizard" <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message
> > > >>>> news:20040303194805.040219c6@WizardsTower...
> > > >>>>> On Thu, 4 Mar 2004 11:44:15 +1030
> > > >>>>> "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote:
> > > >>>>>
> > > >>>>>> artyw wrote:
> > > >>>>>>> "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
> > > >>>>>>> news:<4045b98c$0$12760$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au>...
> > > >>>>>>>> My new bf is a landscape gardener..but all he wants me to do
in
> > > >>>>>>>> bed is grown and mown. :-(
> > > >>>>>>>
> > > >>>>>>> Do you get plowed first?
> > > >>>>>>
> > > >>>>>> Why do you ask..are you a rake?
> > > >>>>>>
> > > >>>>> Is this how you gals plan t'ings?
> > > >>>>>
> > > >>>> I think she is attempting a seeduction here.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> I thought weed already agreed you wood knot interfere!
> > > >>>
> > > >> That's a scythe of relief.
> > > >
> > > >I wish someone would stem these commie posts!!
> > > >
> > > Jest keep hammering at 'em. (gittin' late Moscow now.)
> > >
> > That seems nonsense sickle.
>
> Redding: Town where rouge bells live in CA.
Our version is spelled Reading. Lots of literate people up there.
Litterate: �1,000 fine for each bit of paper you drop.
nemo
> > > > > Niki: Shoes that unlock.
> > > > >
> > > > > Sneakers: Shoe dogs.
> > > > >
> > > > > Snickers: Candy dogs that have peanuts.
> > > > >
> > > > > Snickers: Laughing dogs.
> > > >
> > > > Knickers: Police dogs!
> > >
> > > Doming: Half spherical Chinese vase.
> >
> > Placebo Domingo: Very spherical fake opera singer whose singing people
> > imagine does them good.
>
> Placebo: Shoots Placearrows.
Placebo: Small Nigerian tribesman sho knows where to stand!
nemo
Valentine Dyall's male offspring??
A car's wheel that's collapsed sideways: Offspring.
Nemo.
In 2007, retirement was heaven,
And it's still quite divine in 2009!
I'd be much better off as a fiddling MP,
But graft and corruption are alien to me!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8087555.stm
nemo
And lifting-gear horseradish!
nemo
X Street: A box of chocolates that has gone mouldy.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4266440C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "drmachler" <drma...@tampabay.rr.com> wrote in message
> > > news:bJe9e.8464$_t3....@tornado.tampabay.rr.com...
> > > >
> > > > "nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit> wrote in message
> > > > news:%059e.59830$mV1....@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42690020...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
Nemo
How does a miller smooth a piece of wood?
He uses strong plane flour!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Nemo wrote:
How does an aircraft made of flour survive?