Following the crowd vs. seeking answers and truth

[Kurt]

It is a gray area as to when I crossed the line of normality, but in
looking back, I can now say that it was probably sometime during high
school that I made a mental shift where institutional values and
verities started to change for me.

The institutional educational programs that were laid out for us
students and the path I was taking separated. As the journey
continued, I found myself further and further from the masses, the so-
called 'they' that one hears others refer to when they don't quite
know who to refer to. Initially this seemed like something was wrong,
that I was off-track. The feeling was that of someone who was failing,
a feeling of being left out. Others were progressing along the
accepted avenues whereas I as amiss.
My thoughts were independent of those familiar to the institutional
norms. As it started as a perceived inadequacy, failure even, over
time, it became more and more clear that institutions such as schools,
churches, governments and political organizations of every sort all
tended to direct thought for ends that supported more institutional
buildup rather than seeking answers or the truth.

The accepted, even expected, path tended to direct thought for ends
other than truth, more for the perpetualation of their own purposes
and functions. It became evident that the overall goal was for the
control of individuals in the service of these functions. It was the
control of the direction of the norm that drove the parameters of what
was accepted rather than the pursuit of truth.

In fact, if truth got in the way of perpetuating the institutional
group purpose, then truth was skirted, killed even, if that's what it
took to keep the status quo alive in the spotlight of the
institutional teachings for the next group that was to advance. It was
the development of the group that the institution needed to perpetuate
itself, not the actual seeking of truth. In fact, truth was the road
away from the purpose of the institutional authority, the 'They', if
you will.

Much later, as the path toward wisdom was being travelled was when
these early failures and pursuant wanderings were seen for their true
colors, ie. more of a lucky break than a failure to achieve the normal
successes of society. This was indeed an accidental escape from a trap
that was looking more and more like a good thing rather than the
public shunning of the past.

In time, an understanding developed that the peer pressure of being
like everyone else was indeed a trap that would keep you bound inside
the institutional box. Only in looking back does it become clear that
my wanderings were a good thing and that I had developed the skill of
being trap wary about institutional truths. Many others don't see this
as a good thing, but rather as an aberrant behavior that approaches
weird to them.
While it only takes minutes to read about this mental journey of
develpment, it takes years sometimes just to start to see these kinds
of truths laterally, out of the corner of your mind's eye, let alone
start to act on them. But one day, eventually, if you're developed
enough by then, and if life hasn't worn you down or drained your will
or energy, only then might you start to, begin to, maybe think that
travelling the path less travelled is actually the preferred way. You
begin to realize that the road the masses travel is not the road to
the truth. It's then that you realize it was a good thing that you
wandered and you know that you're in the minority and it's ok, in
fact, it's part of what now drives you faster and more on track
because you're now free of the wondering and uncertainty of purpose.

Now that you're seeking truth rather than following the crowd, you
realize that you are like the plane in flight, headed to the right
destination but constantly making corrections along the way. At
times, you might not even be on the correct road yourself, but now
that you have evolved through wondering, to believing to knowing that
you should NOT be on the institutional thought highway, only then do
you even have a chance that you might discover the right road to truth
and wisdom.

The journey to wisdom continues.....

Kurt Gross 12 May 2010 Knoxville, TN


Kurt Gross kur...@gmail.com Call or text me at 865-382-3010