Fwd: 10 QUALITIES THAT MAKE A FRIEND A FRIEND
ROSE KIVUTI
From: Stellah Abeba <stella...@yahoo.com>
Date: Mon, 19 Mar 2012 06:18:45 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: 10 QUALITIES THAT MAKE A FRIEND A FRIEND
To:
10
QUALITIES THAT MAKE A FRIEND A FRIEND
1-
To have a friend you must first be a friend
My
mother once bought me a large poster to put above my bed that said, "To
have a friend, you must first be a friend." How apt is that?That
little saying has stayed with me all these years. What
you put out into the universe is what you get back. If you gossip about others,
they'll gossip about you. Okay, they'll probably gossip about you regardless,
that might not have been a good example. But if you show all the qualities of
being a good friend, then people will show the same back to you. Seriously, it
does work. If you are sociable, people generally tend to gravitate towards you.
So, I'd have to say that for me the top quality required, is to be a good
friend first. Show the other persons how true friendship is done. Let them
reflect your goodness.
2- Honesty
A
genuine friend is someone who doesn't lie to you. If something's
bugging them, and you say, "What's cooking Stella?" and they reply,
"Nothing my little petal," and you can see something is bothering
them. Then they're not being honest. Friends should feel
comfortable enough with each other to share their feelings,
unhappiness, thoughts, ideas, and all that kind of mumbo jumbo stuff.
If
another so-called friend is bad-mouthing you behind your back, a genuine friend
will come and tell you and help you to work out a plan to forgive. And if
your friend is honest with you and you don't like what they say, don't pick up
the cast iron frying pan and hit them over the head, because that is just not
nice.
3- Loyalty
A
true friend remains loyal during times of stress and strife. They
don't take a knife and go for the jugular and jump on the bandwagon with all
the other simple-minded weak-willed friends. A good friend will
stand by you whatever the circumstances. Of course, you need to practise
showing loyalty yourself. When your friend finds themselves in a spot of
bother, stay loyal and true to them.
4- Make sacrifices
A
simply awesome amazing super duper friend,
will even make sacrifices for you. When you're a bit skint and payday is
only a week away, they might advance you some much-needed money to pay your
electricity bill. Always make sure you pay them back before leaving town,
as they'll think twice about sacrificing their food money for you again.
Making sacrifices for each other is what compromising and being flexible is all
about. Just a little tip. Don't always make your friend be the one
to make the sacrifices. Sometimes it's quite spiritual to make sacrifices
yourself. You feel good about yourself then.
5-
Kindness
A
good friend is always kind and shares. Generosity is very important.
If they sit at the movies and don't share their popcorn or box of biscuits, then
they are not showing the quality of kindness. If they accidentally start to
goosestep and kick your bag or step on your shoe with each step, then they are
not showing kindness to you. Being kind can be something simple like not
joining in when a group of friends are analyzing and dissecting an absent
friend. Someone who is mean to others, might not show kindness to you should
you find yourself in a situation when you really need an act of kindness.
6-Helpful
A
good friend is not one who tells you that the meal you slaved over for hours
tasted good and then they leave or sit and watch TV while you slave over
the dishes. A good friend is one who helps with the washing up.
A good friend won't sit with a smirk or smug expression while you struggle
alone. They'll leave their comfort zone and help out.
Basically, a good friend knows when it's time to help and time to support.
7-
Supportive
Just
like heavy weights need more helping hands, so do you need a supportive friend
who'll be there when the going gets tough, through thick and thin. You
don't want a friend, that when the going gets tough, they leave. A
supportive friend counsels you, sets you up with a hot date, and lends you
their car if you don't have one to go on the date. A supportive friend will
meet you at the bus stop when you get back from heavy duty assignment.
8- Share interests
A
great friend is someone who shares the same interests as you. It
would be pointless going on and on about how exciting the radio is, when your
friend can't see the point of tuning in 88.3 FM, and then walking many Kms for
gatherings. The same as if you are crazy about spending a Saturday
afternoon shopping with friends and having a cup of tea at Starbucks with all
your shopping bags, and your friend gets the jitters when someone says the word
shopping, breaks out in a rash and starts gnashing their teeth, they wouldn't
share your shopping interest with you and would be no fun at all.
9-Respect
A
friend who treats you and speaks to you like you are the piece of dog doo stuck
under their shoe is not worth having as a friend at all. They need
to respect your views and opinions, respect your space, just
generally respecting who you are. A friend is not showing respect when
they try to change you into something you're not. A friend who does
not allow you alone time and is constantly invading your space is being
disrespectful. Remember, you need to show respect first, to gain respect.
10-
Trust
Trust
is mega-important as a quality. If you can't trust your friend with your
confidences and secrets, then they aren't a very good friend at all. If you
are scared to leave your handbag lying around as you believe that your friend
might swipe some of your hard-earned cash from your Prada wallet, then they are
not trustworthy and no point in having around as a friend. You have to be
able to trust that your friend has your best interests at heart all the time,
and won't step on you to achieve their own ends. You have to be able to
trust that your friend will build you up when you are down. If there is no
trust, and you are constantly on guard and suspicious, looking for signs that
you are being used and abused, then trust is definitely lacking.
Remember,
you yourself need to show all these qualities first and be a good friend
yourself, before you can expect people to show these qualities back to you in
return.
Finally, the real definition of a true friend comes from the
Apostle Paul: "For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps
for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own
love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us"
(Romans 5:7-8). "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s
life for his friends." (John 15:13). Now, that is true friendship!
We all have friends. A lot gets talked about friendships.
Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who
can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can
we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true
friend. After an idealistic relationship, friendships are the most
important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family and distant
family, most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration. How do
we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship?
The very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a
true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies. You will call
your friend at any hour and talk without any
thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will
call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same
from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much
worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without
worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our
talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our
talk.
A true friend is a little more than a very good friend.A true friend
will support you even if it hurts his/her own
interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be
with you without any analysis or criticism. A true friend will come forward
to help without any request and be with us in need without showing it or
expecting anything in return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will
get help to the extent possible by him/her. Nothing will remain unturned. A
mother is a true friend of her children. If we share such relations with an
adult we can say that we are true friends.
A
true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but
will be with you whenever you need him/her.
In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole
world opposes you. A true friend is not an opportunist. A true friend
means to have someone who is like mother, as I said earlier. Instead of having
hundreds of good friends, if you have a true friend, treat yourself lucky. If
you can also become a true friend of someone, you will be blessed, because it
is much easier for all of us to expect but very difficult to give.