a bathtub's slip away from the presidency...
$Zero
at his age, just taking a shower could change the whole world.
at any age, actually.
so there it is.
if McSame wins, MsShame is only a bathtub's slip away from the
presidency.
yikes.
as if McSame winning wouldn't be bad enough.
whoa.
...
with over 300 million people to choose from, it has always astounded
me how utterly terrible the choices always seem to be.
i mean, Barack Hussein Obama (II)?
in the most racist country in the history of the world, could there
possibly be a candidate with more things going against him?
he'd have a better chance of winning if his name was Leroy (Junior)
Jones and he was FULLY black instead of half-black.
but after 9-11 (and whatnot), who the fuck do the Democrats nominate?
a half-black dude named Barack Hussein Obama (II)?
what?
was he fabricated in a think-tank somewhere?
did they hire him fresh out of The Actor's Studio, a recent grad of
the Marlon Brando method school?
yikes.
[in Brooklyn, a Suited Gentlemen approaches a slouched
Leroy (Junior) Jones at the coffee counter reading the trades]
SG: Yo, Dude, do you want to play a great part?
LJ: What's the gig, man? Do you have a good script?
SG: Yep. Here, have a read.
[read read read.... read read read...]
LJ: That will NEVER fly as a movie.
SG: It's not a script for a movie, Dude.
LJ: Oh. Does it pay well?
SG: Way better than what you're pulling down now.
LJ: What about this Reverend "Right" character, God Damn America!?!?
And he's the basis for his religious faith? Isn't that way too much of
a stretch?
SG: They'll be eating it up so much they'll never even notice how
absurd it all is.
LJ: I think I understand.
SG: That's why we picked you.
LJ: ...and he doesn't pick Hillary Clinton (a longly held sure-bet who
gets 50% of the primary votes) to be his VP?
SG: Is that an amusing touch, or what?
LJ: OK, I'm in. When do we start?
SG: Well, first we make you Senator from Chicago.
LJ: Cool.
SG: You'll have grown up over three thousand miles offshore so it will
be easier to create the isolated documentation and whatnot.
LJ: Smart.
SG: We've had lots of practice. Wait until you see who's gonna be your
opponent's VP. What a hoot.
LJ: Let me guess, some chick from Alaska?
SG: You catch on fast.
LJ: Are you sure they won't notice the two enemies implied in my newly
adopted name?
SG: Well, yes, Leroy. At first they will notice it, sure. But it won't
last. It'll just seem like an uneducated redneck joke after a few
days. We have to be TOTALLY in-their-face about it all or the
absurdities won't get by their conscious minds far enough.
LJ: Ahhhhhh... Cool.
SG: We use MSNBC and CNN to really sell it.
LJ: What about FOX?
SG: How does Harvard Law School sound to you?
LJ: Great. That was my second choice if The Actor's Studio passed on
me.
SG: OK. Here's your senior year booklet. Study up.
LJ: Can't it wait until tomorrow?
SG: Sure, why not.
LJ: Yeah, because I'm doing a Shakespeare-in-the-park audition this
afternoon and I was kinda looking forward to the free doughnuts.
SG: That won't be much of a problem anymore. We've got plenty of
doughnuts at the thinktank.
LJ: Glazed jelly?
SG: And fifty flavors of ice cream as well.
LJ: Fan-fucking-tastic!
-$Zero...
it greatly grieves me...
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/875a88f5c4b4c8e0
Ash Wensdee
must suffer, like this:
Nice riff. Probably works better for an audience that doesn't already
think your nation is a horrible sick joke.
--
I'm John McCain and Big Oil approves this message.
http://gollyg.blogspot.com -- bullshit you can trust
Ash Wensdee