Wonderful Day In The Neighborhood

[Gene Royer]

My neighbor Stan has two glass eyes--due to a mining accident back in the
early 60's. He is an extremely independent person--eschewing a guide dog
(to which I had jokingly and spuriously alluded in another thread). And
after the accident he became a professional masseur and was considered one
of the best until he retired a few years ago.

I've known him for 30 years, and last week he called and asked if I'd like
to drop over and watch Game Seven of the World Series with him. When I
arrived, his wife said he was in the sitting room, and I could hear Bob
Costa's voice droning through the TV speaker as I walked back there.

However, the sitting room was completely dark, and Costa's cacophonous
voice being emitted from a totally blank and unlighted TV was eerie to say
the least. Stan was smoking a cigar, and only the faint glow told me where
he was sitting.

"Pull up a chair and take a seat," he said.

"Why is it so damn dark in here?" I asked.

"It is?" He seemed genuinely shocked

"Yeah. Dark as midnight under a skillet."

At that moment his wife (who is not blind) came in and turned on a lamp.

"How long has his picture tube been burned out?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Since '92. I watch All My Children and Seinfeld on the big
one in the bedroom. Stan sits back here and watches his crap on his."

When the game was over, Stan remarked how exciting it had been. Apparently
he *saw* things differently than I did.

--Gene