Painting His Masterpiece
jervis_...@my-dejanews.com
Faustman Part Nine
+++++++++++++++++++
[In Case of Orphans, Reduce Font One Click]
EXT. A COPSE OF TREES -
MICHELLE slides her arms about MORTIE'S waist and their lips touch. The EYES
of Mortie. They are wide open in shock. He breaks the kiss.
MORTIE
Did you say you were French?
MICHELLE
Oui, Monsieur.
She closes her eyes again, and they kiss.
MORTIE
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmmmmmm.
They kiss.
CUT TO
EXT. WOODS NEAR CAMPUS - DAY
Kissing: The FACES of Mortie and JULIE. Their BODIES, together, JULIE beside
MORTIE, fully clothed. They kiss, and kiss, and moan, prettily, joining their
hums with the songs of the birds. Their images begin slowly to spin,
minimizing below from a rising bird's eye view.
EXT. THE SKY - AFTERNOON FADING TO NIGHT
EXT. PARKING LOT - BEFORE DAWN Buildings of the University visible in mercury
light It is raining. A naked man, BYRON Polaski stands before an easel. He
looks up from a rain puddle upon the edge of which he stands. He makes a few
brush strokes. Observes the puddle again, in which his own dappled nude
image appears; he paints the more. Setting his brush on the palette, he
brings up a bottle of THUNDERBIRD wine. He drinks. Rain splashes in his face.
The FACE of a Campus Cop, the cop's HAND on BYRON'S shoulder. BYRON's face
turning to see the smirking FACE of the cop.
INT. CAFETERIA - MORNING
A CUP of coffee, Mortie's HAND setting it down. The FACE of Byron, across the
table, his hair well over the ears and collar, long for the time, thick, oily,
straight and falling down over his face, he is a man of about the size and
appearance of Liam Neeson.
BRYON
No, I was not painting nude.
MORTIE
But, everybody says you were.
BYRON
I was a nude painting.
After staring at him for a time.
MORTIE
You were a nude painting.
BYRON
I am a nude painting.
MORTIE
You were a nude, comma, painting?
BYRON
No, a nude - no comma - painting. I am a nude
painting.
MORTIE
You, personally are...
BYRON
Like, Goya's Naked Maja, like Michaelangelo's
Adam. At present, I am a covered nude painting,
but a nude painting nevertheless.
MORTIE
Is this what you told the judge?
BYRON
Yes.
MORTIE
And what did he say?
BYRON
He said, "Thirty days!"
MORTIE
So, you missed the rest of Winter quarter and got
kicked out of the Art Department, besides?
BYRON
No big deal. I had to go out and stir up some
more money for my living expenses anyway; I'd
have starved by February. It was all for the
best.
MORTIE
So, now you're majoring in anthropology.
BYRON
That's right.
MORTIE
And your career as an artist?
BYRON
A nude painting, Mortie, a masterpiece such
as myself is an artist at art, anthropology or
anything else he sets his hand to; no matter
what I do, it turns to art. My whole life and
existence is art, a work of art. There is no
distinction between one form of art and another,
life and art.
JAKE sits down. BYRON acknowledges him with a nod.
MORTIE
Hey, Jake.
BYRON
I go from brushes on canvas to brushes on sherds
of ancient Etruscan pottery, and it makes no
difference. The attitude of an artist is the thing,
it is the same.
JAKE'S eyes narrow to slits as he regards Byron.
BYRON
I was the picture that the rain was painting,
out there that morn of Walpurgisnacht.
MORTIE
And the painting that you were painting?
BYRON
I was painting the puddle.
MORTIE
The puddle?
BRYON
Yes!
MORTIE laughs, looks at JAKE, who smiles back in return.
MORTIE
You were painting a puddle, standing there naked
as a jaybird in the rain, out in the parking lot
of the Humanites building at 4:30 in the morning?
BYRON
You are so square as to find that incredible?
MORTIE
Well...
BYRON
And what did you think art was if not that?
MORTIE
Well, it just seems...like, a little crazy.
BYRON
Crazy!
BYRON casts a look at JAKE:
BYRON
Crazy? Is there any room for a word like 'crazy'
in the vocabulary of art? What do you say for
the benefit of this young wet-behind-the-ears
upstart?
JAKE
Well, I dunno. Who were you trying to impress?
Staring at him, unremittingly:
BYRON
That's what you think it comes to? Why does
everything have to fall to that low level with
you, Jake? You can't perceive the possibility
of genuine, authentic artistic motivations in
such a project?
JAKE
Yeah. I can. Painting the puddle, I can see;
standing there naked? Nah. Standing there
naked says, "Look at me, see how weird, and
way out, crazy, how real gone I am."
BYRON
That's what it says to you?
JAKE
Yeah; it's like exhibiting the art before it's
art.
BYRON
And what if I were to tell you that what I was
painting was my own nude reflection in the
puddle, a self portrait?
JAKE starts to laugh:
JAKE
That's what you were doing?
BYRON
Yes. What about it?
JAKE
Well...that might be alright.
BYRON
Might be?
JAKE
Yeah. No, that's cool, you know if you're
willing to suffer the consequences, I mean
the Anthropology and all. Was it worth it?
I mean, it seems like you really got yourself
in the puddle there, Byron.
MORTIE laughs. BYRON scowls:
BYRON
Jake, you know, you really, really should
talk to someone about painting you better;
it's getting hard to tell you from the back-
ground and landscape most the time.
MORTIE
Okay. Don't you two get started again. Listen.
MORTIE leans way forward toward BYRON.
MORTIE
Byron, is it really true...
MORTIE looks around to be sure no one can hear:
...that you stuck up a bank to make tuition
this quarter?
BYRON does a slow turn toward JAKE.
JAKE
Hey! Don't look at me like that.
BYRON reaches across the table taking hold of MORTIE'S nose.
BYRON
Who told you that?
JAKE reaches out to break BYRON's hold on MORTIE'S nose. PEOPLE are looking.
JAKE
Jesus Christ! What the hell're you doing, Byron?
To PEOPLE staring at next table:
BYRON
You going to paint a picture?
They turn away. MORTIE pinches his nose.
BYRON
You got a big mouth, Jake.
JAKE
You don't have to worry about Mortie.
BYRON
I better not.
He rises, taking up his books which he keeps together with an old fashioned
book-strap.
To Mortie:
BYRON
What he told you is bullshit.
Putting a finger to Mortie's eyes:
BYRON
You got that?
Mortie nods. BYRON leaves. MORTIE watches him leave.
MORTIE
Jesus. What a character.
JAKE
Oh, he's alright.
JAKE turns his cup in his saucer.
MORTIE
Guess I owe you one.
JAKE
For what?
MORTIE
For my nose.
JAKE
Forget it.
MORTIE
Porter Skipesky thinks Byron is the very essence
of all that is truly beat.
JAKE
Well, that just shows you then.
MORTIE
You don't agree?
JAKE
Porter Skipesky is a phony. He's all surface and
no substance.
MORTIE
What about Byron?
JAKE
Byron is the real article, but he's not trying to
be what he is; he's just being what he is.
MORTIE
He looks like an unmade bed.
JAKE
He's living in his car.
MORTIE
Wow.
JAKE
Shouldn't have bought that TR3
MORTIE
Huh? He's living in a Triumph? A little sports
car?
JAKE
No. He's living in an old gray DeSoto. The TR3,
he had for two weeks before he got drunk and totaled
it.
MORTIE
Ya mean after he....
JAKE
That's right. First thing he bought.
MORTIE
Gawd, how dumb can you get.
JAKE
Dumb?
MORTIE
Well, you know.
JAKE
No. Byron's not dumb.
MORTIE
Ya but...
JAKE
He never gets a grade less than an 'A' in any
course he takes, and he takes a lot of science
and math.
MORTIE
No lie?
JAKE
The reason he got drunk that night was because
this guy in his biology class beat him to the
top of the list in the midterms. Byron takes a
lot of pride in getting the highest test scores
in his class, see?
MORTIE
Yeah? Really?
JAKE
Yeah, that's right. He makes it a point to beat
'em all, every time, and he almost always does;
goes after that perfect test score. Know why?
MORTIE
No. Howcome?
JAKE
You see the way he looks, like he just wandered
in from skid row.
MORTIE
Yeah, I know. You're almost ashamed to be seen
with him.
JAKE
Why? Is that the way you feel, Mortie?
MORTIE
Well, yeah, sorta.
JAKE
You think the way he looks is going to affect you?
Or, how people see you?
MORTIE
Sorta.
JAKE
You're wrong.
MORTIE
Yeah?
JAKE
People see you, and then they see Byron; they can
see two different people.
MORTIE
Yeah.
JAKE
Yeah. They may even think, well, that Mortie guy's
got guts, if he doesn't mind sitting with somebody
who looks like that. It can't rub off on you wrong;
people aren't as stupid as you might give them credit
for.
MORTIE
Well, I guess you're right.
JAKE
So, Byron likes to let those people in his classes
know that you can't judge a book by its cover.
MORTIE
Hm.
JAKE
He's been poor all his life. Really poor.
MORTIE
I guess so.
INT. MAKEUP ROOM - AFTERNOON
MORTIE is removing makeup before a mirror with cold cream. ALICE sits to his
right, she's in tears.
ALICE
Mortie, you cut out half the play!
MORTIE
I know, I know...Jesus. But, when you fed me that
bum line, my mind just jumped to the next time we
come out of the cans. I couldn't...
He stops to looks at her:
MORTIE
I don't know why you have to get so upset though,
the damn thing didn't make any sense anyway, it's
way too long. The audience didn't seem to mind or
notice at all. How could they - it makes no sense.
The damn play makes no sense.
ALICE
You're supposed to get your lines right.
MORTIE
You started it, kiddo. Don't blame me.
She removes some makeup.
ALICE
Are you going to the cast party later on tonight?
MORTIE
Yeah.
ALICE
You going alone?
MORTIE
No. I'm taking Julie, but first I got a dinner
date with Michelle over at her friend's place.
ALICE
Two dates in one night? Aw, jeez Mortie, you are
really looking for trouble.
MORTIE
I couldn't help it.
ALICE
Why not?
MORTIE
Because I told Julie I'd take her to the party
tonight, and then Michelle said she had this
dinner thing set up for us. So, I told her I
could stay till around eight, but then I have
to go home and study.
ALICE
Serves you right Mortie. You're gonna get it
now.
MORTIE
Why?
ALICE
Women know about stuff like this.
MORTIE
Nah.
ALICE
You just wait and see.
EXT. BUS STOP - EARLY EVENING
MICHELLE
Mortie?
MORTIE
Ya?
MICHELLE
Mortie?
MORTIE
Jeez, Michelle. Ya?
MICHELLE
Are you sure you're going home to study?
MORTIE
Oh, yeah, Michelle. Really. I got all this reading
piling up on me and...
MICHELLE
But, it's Saturday night.
MORTIE
I know. It's really the shits, when you think about
it.
MICHELLE
Hard to imagine how you can be so responsible, and
self-sacrificing like this and everything.
MORTIE
I know. I amaze myself. I'm getting so, like, grown
up and like that.
MICHELLE
Yeah, a real self-starter.
MORTIE
Gawd, Michelle. You really should trust me, ya know?
MICHELLE
What I can't figure out is why you would skip the
cast party tonight. It's the last performance of
the play, that matinee you did today, wasn't it?
MORTIE
God, I hope so.
MICHELLE
You really cut out half the play?
MORTIE
Yeah.
MICHELLE
Jesus Christ.
MORTIE
I know, but, it was a lot shorter this way, no-
where near as boring.
MICHELLE
[Laughs.] I guess I'd like your cut version
better. That stuff bores me. What's the
big deal about it?
MORTIE
I hardly know. It was all for the best. Oh! Kripes!
Here comes the bus. See it?
MICHELLE
Yeah, way down there. Mortie?
MORTIE
Yeah?
MICHELLE
Don'tcha like me anymore?
MORTIE
Oh, sure I do, Michelle. I'm crazy about ya,
you know that.
MICHELLE
Do I?
MORTIE
Jeez, you say that so spooky-like. C'mere and
give me a hug.
She just looks up from her hands:
MICHELLE
Are you sure you're not taking some other girl to
the cast party? Isn't that where you're going
right now?
MORTIE
God, Michelle? How could you even think such a
thing?
He reaches for her; she comes to him, sadly, painfully.
MORTIE
Aw, Michelle. You're so damn cute.
She averts her eyes:
MICHELLE
Tsk.
MORTIE
You are. And you should know that I'd rather
take you to the party if I was going than...
MICHELLE
Julie Nosterlund?
MORTIE
Oh yeah. Why would I take Julie Nosterlund if I
could...oh! Here it is. Got a kiss?
She kisses him. She waves sadly. The doors of the bus blast open; MORTIE goes
in disappears behind them.
TO BE CONTINUED.
--==--
Jervis +++++ http://www.dejanews.com/~espresso ++++
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Skip Press
jervis_...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
>EXT. A COPSE OF TREES -
>
>MICHELLE slides her arms about MORTIE'S waist and their lips touch. The EYES
>of Mortie. They are wide open in shock. He breaks the kiss.
I actually read a lot of this. Jervis, you're not bad if you'd just pay
attention a little.
(a) Why would a bird be spinning as it rises from the lovers? That's a
camera move that is inexplicable, albeit weird.
(b) You were doing fine with the nude painting scene until you kept
dwelling on the "my life over coffee" type of stuff, typical dialogue
running on and on. I like the "nude painting" opening and wanted to know
more about this guy's life, not the mental meanderings of
peoplesittinaroundtalkin.
I keep thinking if you spent more time perfecting some of this stuff
instead of posting it here, you'd get somewhere.
--
All the best,
Skip Press, The Duke of URL
Writers' Guide to Hollywood/Write What You Want/Column --
http://www.primalife.com/book.asp?ID=76151484
http://www.cmonline.com/boson/nonfiction/howto/howto.html
http://www.computoredge.com/sandiego/Editorial/business.htm
jervis_...@my-dejanews.com
<skippress-230...@pool195-cvx.ds40-ca-us.dialup.earthlink.net>,
skip...@earthlink.net (Skip Press) wrote:
> In article <7d7nks$fq9$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>,
> jervis_...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
>
> >
> >MICHELLE slides her arms about MORTIE'S waist and their lips touch. The
EYES of Mortie. They are wide open in shock. He breaks the kiss.
>
> attention a little.
Heh. The arrogance of this guy is second only to my own. Okay, you set the
tone for this, expect no less in return.
>
> (a) Why would a bird be spinning as it rises from the lovers? That's a
> camera move that is inexplicable, albeit weird.
Not too weird. Hitchcock uses it in "The Wrong Man" to indicate the
claustrophic miasma of being locked in a jail cell; i.e. the spinning, or
revolving camera effect. What on earth makes you think I am talking about a
literal "bird"? It says, "bird's eye view", ferth'krissake. You never heard
that expression? Obviously it indicates nothing more than a slowly elevating
crane shot with the camera on a slow spin to imply the ecstasy of the lovers;
a standard convention.
How you can derive "inexplicable and weird" from that is really inexplicable
and weird. I mean, I don't _think_ you are that dense. Looks to me like
you've got some 'inexplicable and weird' impression about Jervis' falsely
imputed "weirdness" stuck in your brain that is causing you to have an
expectation of weirdness where there just flat ain't none. Now, that's what I
think. And that's part of the subject of what is discussed in this scene;
Mortie's inability to perceive the true character of Byron, because of the
naivete of his own immature expectations which blind him and force him to
relegate people to prejudicial preconceived categories.
>
> (b) You were doing fine with the nude painting scene until you kept
> dwelling on the "my life over coffee" type of stuff, typical dialogue
> running on and on.
I know the "my life over coffee" lazy cop-out for telling a story without
doing the hard work of scripting action. If you still think that is what
this scene is after you've seen the action-filled scenes preceding and
following it, I will begin to wonder just when it's okay by you for one's
characters to sit down and have a damn good conversation? I think you are
looking at this through a formulaic lens with an eye that is jaundiced by a
list of conventional pitfalls for novices. You have to watch out for that
tendency before you start ash-canning masterworks like "Whose Afraid of
Virginia Woolf", and "Good Will Hunting", scripts in which much of the action
is in the dialogue itself. This is a story about a naive young man who is in
an intense process of learning from his mentors - over the fucking coffee,
thank you.
If you want to charge that this is a "lot of typical dialogue running on and
on", you better be ready to prove that, with examples from the text;
otherwise, there is no reason for me not to think that you have merely
scanned the script with no comprehension of what is being talked about.
> I like the "nude painting" opening and wanted to know
> more about this guy's life, not the mental meanderings of
> peoplesittinaroundtalkin.
In this scene you have seen about all there is to see of Byron Polaski; he is
just one of a series of colorful characters who mentor young Mortie. There are
more beside him to come.
>
> I keep thinking if you spent more time perfecting some of this stuff
> instead of posting it here, you'd get somewhere.
You set up an Either/Or proposition that has no force of validity; both things
are being done with neither preventing the other, and sometimes I actually do
benefit from critique that really does get down to texts rather than
essentially useless blanket statements gleaned from a too fast and loose
reading of the text.
If you have specific criticisms that are designed to do some good, I invite
them, but this, above from you is about as useless as tits on a boar. I think
you can do a lot better than this. Certainly, I welcome your interest whatever
the hell it amounts to.