OT -- Avoiding shark bites
nmstevens
Discovery Channel -- the very first time (go figure) where you
actually got to watch some chucklehead actually get bitten by a shark
in living color.
And those of you who watched this special got to hear the bite-ee muse
say (I kid you not), "I agonized about how I could possibly have
avoided getting bitten..."
Well, gee, maybe if you hadn't stood in three feet of water for an
hour surrounded by twenty-five feeding sharks that might have gone a
long way toward avoiding the whole situation.
Apparently, this guy had, according to the documentary, devoted his
life to demonstrating (get this) that one could, in fact, stand in
chum-baited water surrounded by dozens of feeding sharks in perfect
safety.
Guess there's a thesis that's going to need a tiny bit of revision
before going off to the publishers (as in fact, the shark in question
revised *him* a bit, to the tune of a nice big chunk of his calf,
before sending him off to the hospital).
I guess this only goes to show you that sometimes what seems obviously
true -- *is* obviously true.
NMS
Janek Czekaj
shark attacks happen in three feet of water!" or "Most shark attacks occur
within sight of land!". Doh! How many people go swimming/paddling in the
middle of the ocean!?
If you watch Discovery long enough you will see all sorts of 'idiots' -
sorry, I mean 'experts' - getting bitten by sharks, tigers, lions, etc,
etc.. Only tonight I just saw a man walk into a lion enclosure and get a
lion wrap its jaws around one of his knees, drawing blood. Three other guys
had to run to his rescue.
My favourite is the Aussie guy who keeps swimming with alligators and
crocodiles... and picking up venomous snakes by their tails... I don't think
he is long for this World.
Janek.
"nmstevens" <nmst...@msn.com> wrote in message
news:a8f80314.03081...@posting.google.com...
Alan Brooks
> My favourite is the Aussie guy who keeps swimming with alligators and
> crocodiles... and picking up venomous snakes by their tails... I don't
think
> he is long for this World.
> "nmstevens" writes:
> > Apparently, this guy had, according to the documentary, devoted his
> > life to demonstrating (get this) that one could, in fact, stand in
> > chum-baited water surrounded by dozens of feeding sharks in perfect
> > safety.
I've stood in knee-high water, surrounded by sharks. It was in Australia,
and I was fishing off shore when I noticed them and slowly waded back in,
trying to act as little like a wounded fish as I could. Some locals told me
that the sharks were harmless reef sharks and not to be such a baby, so I
went fishing again and ignored the sharks the rest of the time I was there.
It's given me great stories to tell, which, when you *didn't* get bit, is
always worth it.
I had a great animal day today.
A man I know shot (for no good reason) a bobcat on the mountain I live on,
and I got to handle the carcass this morning -- it weighed in at 32 pounds
and looked much bigger than that. Much larger than I'd come to believe they
grew. I've seen a few around that looked like slightly enlarged house cats.
This one looked like a slightly stunted mountain lion.
Later in the day, and completely by accident, I ended up at a small exotic
animal petting zoo where I got to handle a 16 week old black panther. What
a cool animal. The handler assured me that it is a truly nasty critter and
that within a few weeks even she'd be afraid to handle the cub. Some kid
growled at it while I was holding it, so it bit me; the kid got a stern
talking to and I got some antibiotic cream. I also got to hold a couple
really cool pythons, and so did my 8-year-old daughter, who is a fearless
lover of all animals, from slugs to rhinos. She immediately declared that
we needed a python.
Then, on the way home, I spotted a black bear climbing onto a neighbor's
porch to wolf down the seed in his birdfeeder. I pulled up the drive,
honked the horn, shouted, generally made a nuisance of myself to no effect.
The bear tore a couple feeders off the eaves, crunched them apart in his
jaws, lapped up the seed then climbed over the back fence into the woods and
disappeared. He took his time about it too, which should have tipped me off
to the fact that he was just the decoy operation.
I went home -- less than a mile away, to find another bear tearing down one
of my peach trees -- a tree I've been babying along for three years. This
bear I chased off by throwing rocks at it and waving a stick (from the
relative safety of a place where I could run back to my house). After it
left I went down and stripped all the rest of the peaches off my trees so
the bear wouldn't come back and tear the trees down.
Later, my neighbor -- a 78 year old woman -- called to apologize. She said
she'd chased a bear off her property and onto mine earlier that evening, and
she hoped it hadn't done any damage...
I'm going to spend the rest of the week in New York City where all you have
to worry about is being shot by a cop who mistakes your wallet for an uzi.
Alan Brooks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Schmuck with an Underwood
-- It's a jungle out there.
Oranse
Channel >>
I was laughing my ass off watching one ep. Long haired Jesus lookin Manny Puig
handfeeds Mako sharks. His girlfriend almost gets bit a few times, and the
Discovery Channel is presenting this moron as an expert. ATTN Discovery
Channel: Manny Puig hangs with the JACKASS losers. He was in the Jackass movie,
tying chickens on to Pontius' jock strap.
There isnt much difference between Johnny Knoxville taking direct blows to his
nards with a cueball, and Puig shaking fish heads at Mako sharks.
Oranse
Chemqueries
>Date: 8/18/2003 12:34 AM East
I enjoyed your good animal day message. If you are ever in Tucson, Arizona, I
urge you to visit the best "zoo" I've ever seen. It's called the Arizona-Sonora
Desert Museum. It is a zoo, museum and nature preserve all in one. It's about
14 miles west of Tucson and, in my opinion, it is worth the trip to Tucson. I
had a 5-day vacation there, and I spent two full days at the zoo. It's
fascinating.
nmstevens
(snip)
>
> I went home -- less than a mile away, to find another bear tearing down one
> of my peach trees -- a tree I've been babying along for three years. This
> bear I chased off by throwing rocks at it and waving a stick (from the
> relative safety of a place where I could run back to my house). After it
> left I went down and stripped all the rest of the peaches off my trees so
> the bear wouldn't come back and tear the trees down.
>
Now you're in for it -- you'll probably come home, find all your
windows smashed in and a nasty letter nailed to your front porch
written a bear-ish scrawl reading, "Plant more fucking peach trees,
motherfucker. yours truly, The Bear. "
NMS
Caroline Freisen
Alan, the Asian brown bear cub I babysat in Turkey LOVED wintergreen
Lifesavers. He was absolutely addicted! Maybe if you seed the yard
with them the bears will leave your peaches alone.
Caroline
Alan Brooks
> "Alan Brooks" writes:
> >
> > I went home -- less than a mile away, to find another bear tearing down
one
> > of my peach trees -- a tree I've been babying along for three years.
This
> > bear I chased off by throwing rocks at it and waving a stick (from the
> > relative safety of a place where I could run back to my house). After
it
> > left I went down and stripped all the rest of the peaches off my trees
so
> > the bear wouldn't come back and tear the trees down.
> >
>
>
> Now you're in for it -- you'll probably come home, find all your
> windows smashed in and a nasty letter nailed to your front porch
> written a bear-ish scrawl reading, "Plant more fucking peach trees,
> motherfucker. yours truly, The Bear. "
I can see it now; I'll be paying protection honey for the rest of my life to
some burly guy named Yogi Soprano.
Alan Brooks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Schmuck with an Underwood
-- The Ranger's not going to like this, Yogi...
MC
Buzz Elkins <bzel...@comcast.net> wrote:
> I've had a nurse shark come up and rub against my leg.
I've had a nurse do that.
MC
Buzz Elkins <bzel...@comcast.net> wrote:
> >>I've had a nurse shark come up and rub against my leg.
> >
> >
> > I've had a nurse do that.
>
> Did it make you come up out of the water with a new outlook on life?
Nah. Just a new outlook on nurses.
Janek Czekaj
also.
"Buzz Elkins" <bzel...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:3F416577...@comcast.net...
>
> I've had a nurse shark come up and rub against my leg.
>
> Suzy (talk about walkin' on water)
>
Caroline Freisen
<janekpleaserem...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>I too had a nurse do that... 20 months later she turned out to be a shark
>also.
>
Which only goes to show, Janek, playing "doctor" can get you in a
whole lot of trouble!
Jaime M. de Castellvi
Food for thought for the little sharkie too. How come I didn't do
that before?
Cheers,
Jaime
Jacques E. Bouchard
news:a8f80314.03081...@posting.google.com:
> Well, I was just watching this heavily advertised special on the
> Discovery Channel -- the very first time (go figure) where you
> actually got to watch some chucklehead actually get bitten by a shark
> in living color.
>
> And those of you who watched this special got to hear the bite-ee
muse
> say (I kid you not), "I agonized about how I could possibly have
> avoided getting bitten..."
>
> Well, gee, maybe if you hadn't stood in three feet of water for an
> hour surrounded by twenty-five feeding sharks that might have gone a
> long way toward avoiding the whole situation.
I saw a video clip show once where a woman hand fed a brown bear
in her backyard as her husband taped the whole thing. She looked at the
camera as if to say "What are they talking about, these things are
completely harmless!"
Way to go, lady. Teach the bear that food is available right at
your back door, and that if you ever run out, he can always chew on you
a little.
Some people call this type ov behaviour stupid. I just call it
natural selection.
jaybee
(One Darwin Award coming up!)
MwsReader
>I saw a video clip show once where a woman hand fed a brown bear
>in her backyard as her husband taped the whole thing. She looked at the
>camera as if to say "What are they talking about, these things are
>completely harmless!"
Reminds me of the father visiting Yellowstone who wanted to get a
video of a bear licking his son's hand. So he put honey on the little
boy's palm. As I recall, the resulting home movie wasn't too cute...
(Chomp. Oops.)
Ken
nmstevens
I once saw a truly appalling piece of footage, apparently shot on one
of those tourist safaris, shot from inside a vehicle surrounded by
lions, showing some complete moron who had apparently decided that he
couldn't get the angle he wanted from inside the vehicle -- and so he
was shooting the lions from outside the vehicle -- and at first the
lions, wandering calmly around the vehicle were pretty much ignoring
him as he calmly shot his footage with his little wind-up Bolex -- and
then one of the lions seemed to notice him for the first time and then
quite casually stood up on his shoulders and bit him in the back of
the neck and down he went -- and along came the rest of the lions and
commenced what is known as feeding time -- and that was pretty much
the end of him -- because none of the other people in that vehicle had
any intention of going out to rescue that knot head, not that they
could have rescued more more than a souvenir by the time those lions
were done with him (although I suppose they could have recovered some
pretty intriguing footage from his fallen Bolex -- presuming that the
lions didn't eat it).
Yet another Darwin Award.
NMS
Pamela
On Mon, 18 Aug 2003 00:34:18 -0400, "Alan Brooks"
<al...@sirius-software.com> wrote:
>I've stood in knee-high water, surrounded by sharks. It was in Australia,
>and I was fishing off shore when I noticed them and slowly waded back in,
>trying to act as little like a wounded fish as I could. Some locals told me
>that the sharks were harmless reef sharks and not to be such a baby, so I
>went fishing again and ignored the sharks the rest of the time I was there.
>It's given me great stories to tell, which, when you *didn't* get bit, is
>always worth it.
I've got a 'didn't get bit by sharks' story too. I was swimming on a
beach in Florida with my brother. We were a long way out, riding the
giant waves. Some of them were twenty feet high or more. We didn't
see or hear the life guard yelling at us to come in. He had to come
out into the water to tell us that we were in the ocean swimming with
large man eating sharks. They were just on the other side of the
cresting waves but could have, at any moment, moved in for the kill,
given the depth of the water. A few week later, I saw the movie,
"Jaws." The movie was all the more terrifying.
It sounds like you live in a very remote wilderness. Interesting
stories.
Jacques E. Bouchard
news:3f4272f7.14655673@nntp:
>
>
> On Mon, 18 Aug 2003 00:34:18 -0400, "Alan Brooks"
><al...@sirius-software.com> wrote:
>
>>I've stood in knee-high water, surrounded by sharks. It was in
>>Australia, and I was fishing off shore when I noticed them and slowly
>>waded back in, trying to act as little like a wounded fish as I
could.
>> Some locals told me that the sharks were harmless reef sharks and
not
>>to be such a baby, so I went fishing again and ignored the sharks the
>>rest of the time I was there. It's given me great stories to tell,
>>which, when you *didn't* get bit, is always worth it.
>
> I've got a 'didn't get bit by sharks' story too.
Hey, I have not been bitten by sharks either!
jaybee
Jaime M. de Castellvi
I doubt you'll have much luck finding sharks up in Lake Ontario,
though I once run into a frightfully large Muskie in the Ottawa River.
Cheers,
Jaime
Joe Myers
> ...we were in the ocean swimming with
> large man eating sharks.
Lucky you're a woman.
Joe Myers
"Not clear on the concept."
WmB
"Joe Myers" <monke...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:AnA0b.1411$Z22...@newssvr29.news.prodigy.com...
Maybe not.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,95160,00.html
WmB
Joe Myers
"WmB" <inh...@prodigy.net> wrote in message
news:9qA0b.912$sV....@newsread1.news.atl.earthlink.net...
Lucky you're a *small* woman?
Joe Myers
"If God didn't mean us to eat meat,
why did he make sheep so tasty?"
Pamela
Did you see 'Redwater'on TBS on Sunday night? Bull sharks can live in
fresh water...although I've never had one swim up to me anywhere in
Ontario. But there's always frightfully large Muskies to worry about.
Pamela
wrote:
Perhaps people should be forced to take an IQ test before being
allowed into the woods?
Pamela
<monke...@sbcglobal.net> wrote:
>"Pamela" <masterk...@NOSPAMyahoo.ca> wrote
>
>> ...we were in the ocean swimming with
>> large man eating sharks.
>
>Lucky you're a woman.
Good point but I'm not a feminist under these kinds of situations. I
insist. Men first into the water.
Jaime M. de Castellvi
Afraid I missed it. These days I have very little time to watch
teevee so I have to prioritize.
>Bull sharks can live in
>fresh water...although I've never had one swim up to me anywhere in
>Ontario. But there's always frightfully large Muskies to worry about.
Yup. Tell me about it. I imagine that if they ever found a Muskie in
Lake Ontario it might make the headlines on "The Globe and Mail".
Though there is that awful molusk --can't remember what it's called--
that got accidentally "imported" from somewhere in Eastern Europe,
growing all over the bottom now. We had to really watch out when
diving, that avoid nasty cuts..
So, whereabouts in Ontario are you?
Cheers,
Jaime
Jaime M. de Castellvi
Then they would be intelligent enough to make fires, and in no time
there would be no woods left at all.
Cheers,
Jaime
Pamela
>>Did you see 'Redwater'on TBS on Sunday night?
>
>Afraid I missed it. These days I have very little time to watch
>teevee so I have to prioritize.
>
>>Bull sharks can live in
>>fresh water...although I've never had one swim up to me anywhere in
>>Ontario. But there's always frightfully large Muskies to worry about.
>
>Yup. Tell me about it. I imagine that if they ever found a Muskie in
>Lake Ontario it might make the headlines on "The Globe and Mail".
>Though there is that awful molusk --can't remember what it's called--
>that got accidentally "imported" from somewhere in Eastern Europe,
>growing all over the bottom now. We had to really watch out when
>diving, that avoid nasty cuts..
>
>So, whereabouts in Ontario are you?
>
>Cheers,
>
>Jaime
just had a major blackout here. We are still under a state of
emergency. Nothing much of aquatic life swimming in the Ottawa River
right now except for the backed up sewage system which they dumped
into the river and a continual stream of dead bodies that keep turning
up in the river. The sewage dumping is actually nothing new as the
Quebec side of the river has been dumping raw sewage into the Ottawa
River for years. Makes a person really think twice about drinking the
tap water which is just recycled Ottawa river water. I've been
drinking and cooking with bottled water for years. I don't think
those molusks that you were speaking about have made it this far north
yet but, under the circumstances, can you blame them?
Pamela
A valid point but you misunderstood me. I meant that if the IQ tests
proved that they were really dumb, then they SHOULD be allowed into
the woods to let nature and natural selection take it's course.
Jaime M. de Castellvi
What's the point? All the blame in the world won't make them think
twice about spreading further. Molusks don't seem particularly
inclined to ponder. Last I knew, summer of 2000, there were plenty of
them in the bottom of Lake Ontario, at least off the shores (if you
can call them that) of Kingston.
Ottawa, huh? I love Ottawa. When I emigrated from Spain, it was the
first city I was in, for about three years (that and Nepean). Of
course I could barely speak English then. Many years later, in 95, I
hitched a summer job with the Ceremonial Guard and was able to spend
four lovely months there. It was something, to revisit now that I
could lastly handle myself in the culture as if it were my own.
Suddenly one could sense something of the city's true depths, where
before one saw only reflections on the surface.
That was the first year the CG was quartered at Carleton U. (since
they had closed the big CG building in Uplands, like most of the base,
due to budget cuts). I used to go jogging by the canal, all the way
to the Chateau Laurier and back, early in the morning before it got
really hot. I guess I miss it quite a bit. One always misses
intensely the good landscapes in one's memory, when one happens to
think about them.
Sorry to hear about the sewage. Hope things clear up and get back to
normal soon. With all its beauty and ugliness, Ottawa is much too
beautiful a city for that.
Cheers,
Jaime
Pamela
(Pamela) wrote:
I hope you realize this was a joke.
Jaime M. de Castellvi
(Pamela) wrote:
<*grin*> Yes, of course! I just couldn't think of a good one to
come back with right away after my chuckle. All I could think of at
the time seemed lame.
You and I seem to have a similar sense of humour, dry and deadpan, so
often we share the same concern, that people may actually think we are
serious : )
Cheers,
Jaime
Pamela
Castellvi) wrote:
>>>>>Perhaps people should be forced to take an IQ test before being
>>>>>allowed into the woods?
>>>>
>>>>Then they would be intelligent enough to make fires, and in no time
>>>>there would be no woods left at all.
>>>>
>>>>Cheers,
>>>>
>>>>Jaime
>>>A valid point but you misunderstood me. I meant that if the IQ tests
>>>proved that they were really dumb, then they SHOULD be allowed into
>>>the woods to let nature and natural selection take it's course.
>>I hope you realize this was a joke.
>
><*grin*> Yes, of course! I just couldn't think of a good one to
>come back with right away after my chuckle. All I could think of at
>the time seemed lame.
>
>You and I seem to have a similar sense of humour, dry and deadpan, so
>often we share the same concern, that people may actually think we are
>serious : )
>
>Cheers,
>
>Jaime
I've had the same problem with not being able to think up witty
responses fast enough to some of the things posted to me. After all,
we are supposed to be writers and writers are supposed to be the
masters of words, if they are any good, that is. When I get really
stuck for words, I often opt for the lame, stupid response. This,
obviously, does not always go over so well. Silence might be
preferable in these instances.
With all the serious talk about people wanting to dance with delight
on dead people's graves, I thought that it could be entirely possible
that someone might think that I really hate stupid people enough to
want to send them into the woods to their deaths. I thought I better
clarify my point. I'm glad you realized it was a joke. One slip of
the tongue (or fingers, as the case may be) on this message board, and
it could be a fight to the death that lasts for years. Sometimes,
it's like walking on egg heads.
Jaime M. de Castellvi
I know what you mean but, if it helps, you don't need to worry about
that with me. I take everything I read in usenet with a grain if
salt, and I always try to assume that the person I may be reading has
a sense of humor that is reflected in the post. It may not always be
true, but you gotta at least try to give everyone the benefit of the
doubt to start, then let those who will prove you otherwise.
Besides, as I think a lot of us here, my sense of humor is really
twisted and warped. Sorta like yours ; )
Cheers,
Jaime
Pamela
Castellvi) wrote:
My sense of humour is definitely twisted and warped. It's nice to
chat with a fellow sicko.
Jaime M. de Castellvi
(Pamela) wrote:
<*flourish*> My pleasure, ma'am.
I read somewhere that many Canucks are particularly inclined to
warped, iconoclastic humour due to the underlying Neo-Victorian nature
of the society.
Of course, I think this applies mainly to Anglos. Thos madcap
French-Canadians, like Jacques here, get it from somewhere else, I
think.
Cheers,
Jaime
Jacques E. Bouchard
news:3f4ac1d1...@news.cis.dfn.de:
> I read somewhere that many Canucks are particularly inclined to
> warped, iconoclastic humour due to the underlying Neo-Victorian nature
> of the society.
>
> Of course, I think this applies mainly to Anglos. Thos madcap
> French-Canadians, like Jacques here, get it from somewhere else, I
> think.
My mother dropped me on my head.
jaybee
Blair P. Houghton
>news:3f4ac1d1...@news.cis.dfn.de:
>> I read somewhere that many Canucks are particularly inclined to
>> warped, iconoclastic humour due to the underlying Neo-Victorian nature
>> of the society.
They watch Monty Python, and recognize it's a funny way
to express oneself.
>> Of course, I think this applies mainly to Anglos. Thos madcap
>> French-Canadians, like Jacques here, get it from somewhere else, I
>> think.
>
> My mother dropped me on my head.
Explains a few things.
--Blair
"Like the crack in the floor, for one."