The sad, broken family of X-78's
AKirsc5653
the 3di highway world, the broken family of X78's.
Their Papa Was A Rolling Stone. I-78 is clearly a deadbeat dad who won't even
acknowlede his kids. Instead he mosies on through Jersey City, not even
bothering to bridge the roads he crosses, burrows under a hole into Manhattan
and crawls off and dies on Canal Street, probably in a crack den somewhere (I
know, a negative and distorted view of NYC, just play along!)
The big brother of the family is I-278. Found in desolate Linden, NJ with no
concept of how he got there, he gets immediately tangled up in a weird
interchange with I-95, who is the closest thing he has to a real father figure.
After a decent start sprinting through Staten Island it reaches the prime of
its life in its bridge accross the narrows, showing off with the long,
luxurious, two-leveled, many-laned Verizanno (sp?) Bridge. But he's peaked too
soon. It's all downhill from here. Life from here on is meandering nightmare of
desperate living conditions: bumpy surfaces, narrow lanes, deadly curves, and
treacherous entrances and exits without acceleration or deceleration lanes. It
has one brief moment of glory by the Brooklyn Heights promenade, with it's
stellar view of Manhattan accross the river, but through the traffic clogs of
the Gowanus and BQE sections this is only a slight bright spot amidst a sad
life. It finally reaches its nadir in northwestern Queens. After a particularly
meandering, narrow section, it gives up all hope, and rather suicidally ends
itself on a parkway. It's apparent death is without any respect at all. Only
one lane is continuous westbound. Somehow it doesn't die, but its truck traffic
must use signalled service roads for half a mile (like father like son!), and
the I-278 status is all but unsigned on both the car and truck section. It
lives on even after its parkway host dies, but it suffers a backhanded dis when
Manhattan only lets it see its perifery. It looks like there might be light at
the end of the tunnel when it gives birth to a 2di, a most unlikely situation.
But then it's nothing but misery. The last few miles of its life are depressing
views of the South Bronx and another interchange that seems to favor the other
road. It finally finds I-95, meeting it the wrong way (the "eastbound" I-278
somehow managing to be to the right of the "northbound" I-95), crawls up and
dies.
If they ever make a movie about the life of I-278, it should be played by
Dustin Hoffman.
:-O
Its younger siblings might even be worse off. I-678 plods along from JFK
Airport, a miserable welcome to the greatest city on earth. She's even more
rootless than her big brother, her route number seeming completely random,
never even going near an existing section of her parent. She climbs north in
Queens at a snails pace, picking up the pace a bit when she plateus. She peaks
with her bridge, a narrow but dignified span, but after that it is imediately
clear that she has no more future. She does meet her sad brother, and they die
together into the Bruckner interchange.
Route 878 is the most bizzare an unpredictable. She disguises herself as a
state road, hoping prehaps to avoid the bastard x78 stigma. But instead she
proves herself to be nothing but completely insane. For the beginning of her
life she's one way and nearly without purpose, though she does move a little
better than her siblings. Then her disguise becomes reality, she is clearly a
NY route complete with grade intersections and traffic lights. She seems to die
at a very young age. Curiously though she has only made herself invisible. She
hitches a ride on a caravan called Rockaway Blvd, huddles in the back, and
prays for a new, better life wherever she's going. Legend has it she shows up
again, completely without warning, in the Five Towns of Nassau County, NY. Her
rebirth is a complete island away from all other NYS routes, and she takes a
quick dive into the bottom of the state (at that point) with an obscure and
overpriced toll bridge as her final glory. She dies a particularly cold death,
without any fanfare, signage, or any concept of where to go next.
I-478, the baby, might be the saddest of all. So deeply ashamed is he of his
bastard status, he doesn't so much as acknowledge that he even has a route
number. He just leaves his big brother and heads right for his deadbeat dad,
hoping to find an explanation. He takes a long tunnel into Manhattan but gets
killed just as he arrives. He never gets any answers. Sadly, he's only a mile
or so away from dad, closer than any of his siblings get. But he probably had
no hope of getting anywhere with him anyway.
Uh.....I better go take my pills!
:-o Andrew :-D ("MisterK")
N. W. Perry
akirs...@cs.com (AKirsc5653) wrote:
> The talk of orphan 3dus's has gotten me thinking of NYC's poor lost souls of
> the 3di highway world, the broken family of X78's.
<etc.>
Great story! After that sullen tone, however, I feel compelled to write
about "Grandma" I-90 and her nine children in New York, a much
better-adjusted batch.
AKirsc5653
flamboyant member of the family.
:-) Andrew
Douglas A. Willinger
> The talk of orphan 3dus's has gotten me thinking of NYC's poor lost souls of
> the 3di highway world, the broken family of X78's.
(snip)
> I-478, the baby, might be the saddest of all. So deeply ashamed is he of his
> bastard status, he doesn't so much as acknowledge that he even has a route
> number. He just leaves his big brother and heads right for his deadbeat dad,
> hoping to find an explanation. He takes a long tunnel into Manhattan but gets
> killed just as he arrives. He never gets any answers. Sadly, he's only a mile
> or so away from dad, closer than any of his siblings get. But he probably had
> no hope of getting anywhere with him anyway.
>
Maybe. Maybe not. The battle over the proposed 9A tunnel beneath
West Steet northward from the Battery to Chambers Street (pretty close
the Holland Tunnel) continues!
Douglas A. Willinger
Takoma Park Highway Design Studio
http://www.HighwaysAndCommunities.com
Tim VanDeWal
> when it gives birth to a 2di, a most unlikely situation.
As if adding to the x78 dysfunction, let us take a look at its poor
little baby 2di. Because, really, the family strife continues anew.
Coming from a broken home and all, who can blame I-87 for wanting to
cross the Bronx and make her way Upstate to start her live over. She
achieves fame by becoming the New York State Thruway, and having
people pay money to travel on her. But, shortly before leaving
Albany, she is stripped of her title and is forced to shuttle
commuters for forty miles. She then makes a mad dash through the
mountains to escape across the Canadian border. After changing her
name to Autoroute 15 (no one is fooled, the signage is so clear) she
makes it to Montreal, where she is known as "that road that goes to
New York." She manages to make it through the city through a series
of shady multiplexes and odd interchanges before starting over on the
north side of town, but there is nowhere for her to go. She limps
along for a while, before fading out at a multi-lane in the mountains
of Quebec.
Her children also lead sad, sad lives.
I-287 has a pile of problems. He has some serious split personality
problems (the north and south ends were not fully connected until the
mid-80's, and his eastern end started life as I-_4_87). He also has
some kind of Oedipal problems, "multiplexing" with momma when he
crosses the Hudson on the Thruway. Then, after a brief scuffle near
Suffern, he runs away from home and ends up, in all places, north
Jersey, where he ends up meeting ol' deadbeat great-grandpa, I-78. He
then tries to get back to mommy, but ends up dying once crossing into
Staten Island, and almost bumping into the grandfather it never knew.
Poor I-587. Momma never loved IT. In fact, if you ask mom about 587,
she will completely deny ITs existence (there is no signage at all).
Why? Because 587 is the result of some kind of freakish laboratory
experiment. It begins life at the east end of a traffic circle, and
then limps along for a little over a mile before it finally rolls over
dead at a traffic light with two state routes. It is so freakish that
it can't even pull itself together enough to have an interchange.
I-787 has a far more successful life than it's siblings, but meets the
same kind of untimely demise as the rest of them. He starts life
being dumped off at the Port of Albany with its miscarried twin, the
Albany Mid-Crosstown Arterial (which can still be seen as a strangely
paved extra exit ramp and a DOT building). He almost immediately runs
into US-9 and US-20 in downtown at one of the most beautiful, yet
incomplete interchanges in the world, and makes a dash up the river to
I-90. It is the interchange with NY-7 that spells the end. Instead
of allowing little 787 to go see mommy (the Alt-7 expressway is
definitely interstate standard going back to I-87), mean old NY-7
drags it over a bridge to Troy, beating 787 to death along the way.
In fact, the assault happens to quickly that the ghost of I-787 (state
route 787) continues in his northward direction in the same
right-of-way into Cohoes, where, at a traffic light, he realizes he's
dead.
Another thing to note about I-87 is its shocking infant mortality
rate. Where's little 487 (Poughkeepsie), 687 (Albany), or her
illegimate Mid-Crosstown in Albany? They are little piles of moved
dirt, overpowered interchanges, or they were quickly eaten by her
mangy little sidekick, US-9.
All this could have been taken care of with a little number
reassignment. It's a sad, sad state of affairs in New York.
Raymond C Martin Jr
No, don't take your pills! Write more stories!
That was truly beautiful!!!! It should be posted somewhere, maybe
Steve Anderson's site! ITS GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!!!
====
Raymond C Martin Jr
http://www.njfreeways.com/
AKirsc5653
came to me just before I fell asleep, one of those silly surreal things that
come to you in twighlight.
:-) Andrew
stéphane dumas
"AKirsc5653" <akirs...@cs.com> a écrit dans le message news:
20030131235731...@mb-fa.news.cs.com...
> The talk of orphan 3dus's has gotten me thinking of NYC's poor lost souls
of
> the 3di highway world, the broken family of X78's.
>
> Their Papa Was A Rolling Stone. I-78 is clearly a deadbeat dad who won't
even
> acknowlede his kids. Instead he mosies on through Jersey City, not even
> bothering to bridge the roads he crosses, burrows under a hole into
Manhattan
> and crawls off and dies on Canal Street, probably in a crack den somewhere
(I
> know, a negative and distorted view of NYC, just play along!)
you forgotted a X-78 who had been chased from the family, I-378 at
Allentown-Bethlehem PA, once connecting to its parent but rejeted when the
parent used an other path and try to survive at its own as PA-378
>
> :-o Andrew :-D ("MisterK")
Stéphane Dumas
Douglas A. Willinger
I'll second THAT!
Steve, you got to add this stuff to your site!
Douglas A. Willinger
Takoma Park Highway Design Studio
AKirsc5653
>Allentown-Bethlehem PA, once connecting to its parent but rejeted when the
>parent used an other path and try to survive at its own as PA-378
I actually thought of that after I finnished the initial post. It's further
proof that Pappa Was A Rolling Stone. To paraphrase the song, he had a whole
other family in another state. In the is case, the other daughter was
eventually abandonned too when he changed his address.
:-) Andrew
Steve Anderson
>
> akirs...@cs.com (AKirsc5653) wrote in message news:<20030131235731...@mb-fa.news.cs.com>...
>
> No, don't take your pills! Write more stories!
>
> That was truly beautiful!!!! It should be posted somewhere, maybe
> Steve Anderson's site! ITS GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!!!
>
-- who is a full-time writer herself -- will appreciate it.)
-- Steve Anderson
http://www.nycroads.com
http://www.phillyroads.com
http://www.bostonroads.com
Jeff Kitsko
--
Jeff Kitsko
Pennsylvania Highways: http://www.pahighways.com/
Ohio Highways: http://www.ohhighways.com/
"AKirsc5653" <akirs...@cs.com> wrote in message
news:20030202230051...@mb-cm.news.cs.com...
AKirsc5653
Andrew Kirschner. On message boards such as Subtalk, I go by MisterK, but I
prefer to be credited by my real name.
Steve-I have long been an admirier of nycroads.com. Keep up the good work.
:-) Andrew
Kurumi
timva...@hotmail.com (Tim VanDeWal) wrote:
> akirs...@cs.com (AKirsc5653) wrote in message
> news:<20030131235731...@mb-fa.news.cs.com>...
> > It looks like there might be light at the end of the tunnel
> > when it gives birth to a 2di, a most unlikely situation.
>
> As if adding to the x78 dysfunction, let us take a look at its poor
> little baby 2di. Because, really, the family strife continues anew.
>
> Coming from a broken home and all, who can blame I-87 for wanting to
> cross the Bronx and make her way Upstate to start her live over.
[snip]
> All this could have been taken care of with a little number
> reassignment. It's a sad, sad state of affairs in New York
Even I-95 has flaws... a spur (495) with a beltway's number; and another
branch (695) that according to the FHWA does not exist. And then in New
Jersey -- but let's not talk about New Jersey.
If you look at single numbers across states, there are numbers like 695
that have very poor showings indeed: cancelled/unsigned (D.C.),
cancelled (Philly), cancelled (New Jersey), unofficial (NYC), and
cancelled (Boston). Baltimore's 695 is the only one that made something
of itself.
Great essays on both 2di families; I'll probably add some choice quotes
to my x78 page. But as with the summarized content on the page, I'll
continue to send people to NYCRoads for more details.
--
Kurumi http://kurumi.com/
3di's, Conn. Roads, maps, interchanges
"The stars suck. I'm going back to sleep." - Cthulhu
Steve
Even the roads I-78 touches are cursed. NJ 24 is still signed over
county roads, but is less than half the length it once was. It also
used to be that 24 would end at the square in Morristown, and 124 would
come out the other end (the only way to travel all of 24 would be to
follow 510 to 287 north to 24 east). Finally, 24 is unfinished both as
a northern bypass of Morristown (there's not even any room left for it,
no one liked it), and as a southern extension to I-278 (see, another
bastard!). And let's not mention the dark period where all I-78 traffic
would use NJ 24, and then get dumped onto local roads to try to find its
way back. NJ 173, once the proud US 22, has been reduced to little more
than a frontage road. US 22 of course was absorbed by the monster, and
then barely manages to leave it for Easton, PA - I-78 wanted that road
too, but its curse prevented the freeway from getting finished. There's
NJ 29, which used to terminate in a little dead-end road (still
accessible from the freeway), and now terminates at NJ 12, which is
nothing more than a county road with a fancy name and state
maintenance. At I-287, there is a terribly messed up interchange where
I-287 actually gets split in two for some distance. Then, through the
Watchung Mountains, I-78 has wide overpasses with trees growing in them
- in other words, animal crossings elevated above the highway! Finally,
the I-78 curse hits the Garden State Parkway, where the popular NB-WB
movement is unavailable and probably won't be there for some time.
I am NOT Gene Wood!
> the 3di highway world, the broken family of X78's.
>
God, I love this post!
Reminds me of "Mama Knows the Highway", and, oddly enough, "Small Town
Saturday Night" (the latter also reminds me of the old Tuscola
Drive-In on M-15 south of Bay City), both by Hal Ketchum.
Let's take a look at I-75 in Michigan. Her children aren't bastards by
any stretch, but...
I-275: He always wanted to get back to his parent up near Holly, but
he got distracted along the way, and multiplexed with his godmother,
I-96 for a few miles before being shunned away from his intended route
by the lakeside developments in Oakland County. (Some say he still
wants to get back to his mother in Holly, as all the signs northbound
point to Flint.) Also, cousin M-5 is trying to take I-275's place from
Novi to Pontiac Trail, but M-5 is only a meager expressway for most of
this stretch, managing an interchange only at 12 Mile Road. (If
there's an interchange at 14 Mile Road, don't gripe to me about it...
I haven't kept up on southern Michigan highways in a while.)
I-375: The older, wiser I-75 tried to cut a path right in front of the
Detroit River but couldn't make it. Baby I-375 could, somehow, make it
at least TO the Detroit River... but keep in mind, she doesn't have
any exit numbers, and all her exits are only half-exits: southbound to
road, and road to northbound. (However, she also manages an unsigned
business spur along the aforementioned Detroit River path that her
mother couldn't handle.)
I-475: Perhaps the only thing wrong with him is the fact that he stole
an interchange from his mother: When I-475 came through to the north
end of I-75 near Mount Morris, he took his mother's beloved 1950s-era
diamond interchange with Coldwater Road -- and didn't even bother to
compensate by giving HIMSELF an interchange with Coldwater Road!
I-675: Some say that I-675 killed I-75's business loop with Saginaw.
This is not the case. When I-75 realized she was going to have another
I-x75, she decided to put her Saginaw business loop up for adoption
(Gaylord eventually adopted it) and have I-675 take the business
loop's place. I-675 has actually helped her mother: When I-75's
decrepit bridge over the Saginaw River was being replaced with a
structure about as high as it is long (Don't gripe at me about the
Zilwaukee bridge's height -- I just wanted to have a little fun with
hyperbole), I-675 willingly became a detour for her own mother. When
the Zilwaukee Bridge was being redone in 2001 or 2002 (I can't
remember), I-675 took her mother's place again. Say it together now...
Awwwwww!
stéphane dumas
> any stretch, but...
>
I-271, wasn't allowed to have an interchange with OH Tpk (as well as its
cousin I-475 in Toledo) forced to share a bit of a path with I-480, she
wanted to span Lake Ontario to reach Ontario but no, forced to end at I-90.
I-471, branch off from downtown Cincinnati cross the Ohio River to reach
I-275, and end abruptly just south near the junction of I-27 and KY9 as
KY471, "perhaps" it said "I could go more further if KY9 is upgraded" but
I'm scared, I-74 will kick me out if it pass the same path.
And for the children of I-76
I-176: after years of being orphan, it finally reach directly its parent
thanks to a new arm. And nargued her great aunts I-79, I-81, I-95 but not
for long, I-79 will be finally linked to her cousin I-76.
I-276: allow to users to bypass Phiadelphia, had for years some identity
crisis, she wondered where she ends officially for years but she finally
know and she's nervous but not afraid to be amputed and lets of gap of her
to I-95 when the interchange will be complete
I-376: she wonder if she'll have a direct connection one day to her cousin
I-579 and if she could go a bit more easterly along the US22 gap east of her
parent I-76.
I-476: now going that north, she suffers from a identity crisis: Blue Route
or the NE Ext, she wish I-78 and I-81 will reach her directly.
I-576: She didn't born yet and she hope she won't be the victim of a
abortion.
I-676: she's angry because she had to use some locals street to pass the Ben
Franklin Bridge
Stéphane Dumas
Jeff Kitsko
news:q2B%9.24983$k52.3...@wagner.videotron.net...
> I-376: she wonder if she'll have a direct connection one day to her cousin
> I-579 and if she could go a bit more easterly along the US22 gap east of
her
> parent I-76.
There is no way to connect those two up directly now that the jail is in the
right-of-way for an interchange. I thought I mentioned that before :-). As
for heading east past the Turnpike, they better not since PennDOT would be
wasting money widening US 22 to five lanes as it is doing currently.
> I-576: She didn't born yet and she hope she won't be the victim of a
> abortion.
It is only planned to connect to I-376, so it has help from another family
route.
> I-676: she's angry because she had to use some locals street to pass the
Ben
> Franklin Bridge
I don't think the expressway minds.
N. W. Perry
Dream Land
up and remarries. Texas and Minnesota. I know there are some
US routes that do that, but no other intersate does. There
are some of I-35's even children playing "ring around the
cities" such as Kansas City and Des Moine, but with Dallas
and Oklahoma City they either play "criss-cross" (Dallas) of
just "head off to the wild blue yonder" (Oklahoma city).
Currently 635 only crosses I-35E probably with no intention
of making a full circle. I-235 in Oklahoma plays "ride off
to the wild blue yonder" as it leaves the mainline 35 and
doesn't come home. I guess some can so negativity to my
statement, but since US 77 is already there and it's freeway
standard, why name it an even interstate instead of either
just US 77 or odd interstate. I do remember someone
mentioning that as long as an interstate connects to two
interstates it can be considered a loop (even interstate)
which I believe it should only do it if it both terninus
meets the parent highway. I-275 in Knoxville is the same,
yet I agree with I-640 as it does go from I-40 to I-40 even
though multiplexed on the western swing after crossing I-75.