survival questions
KB9WFK
links to other people not dieing? I also have some questions:
Is water important?
Can I bring beer instead?
How long should I plan on surviving?
Where do I get survivalist clothes?
What size boot should a survivalist wear?
I don't know anyone named BOB. Can I still bug out?
How much do I need to survive? Can I get by with less? Is there a list?
What color should I paint my cache containers?
How far is it and what is the best way to get there?
Will my old socks work with my survivalist boots or do I need to upgrade?
What is the best place to shoot an invader? What if I shoot him in the
living room instead?
Can I bring my mom?
I have read all the FAQs and didn't see the answers to these questions
anywhere. Maybe someone should research this and add it to the FAQ. After
you guys tell me this stuff I am going to open a survival community and
teach it to others, so it is really important you guys help me.
One more thing. How long till I get to learn the secret survivalist
handshake?
--
Things are more like they are today than they have ever been before.
WhiteWolf
wrote:
>I want to know how to survive. Could someone please tell me and show me
>links to other people not dieing?
the online telephone pages are a good source, link anywho.com.
i suggest starting with the letter 'a' and working your way through
the alphabet. by the time you reach 's' or 't' you should see some
patterns developing.
please share your findings with the group as we could all benefit from
the lessons of those who are surviving.
> I also have some questions:
>Is water important?
absolutely! how else would you put out fires or prevent yourself from
hitting the cewment on the bottom of the pool.
>Can I bring beer instead?
good idea. beer cans or bottles make good weapons for close-in & hand
to hand fighting due to the weight. should you accidentially spill the
beer out, simply refill the can or bottle with sand & seal with duct
tape.
>How long should I plan on surviving?
don't plan on surviving. if you expect the worst, you can never be
disappointed. should you actually survive, the experience will be that
much more pleasant.
>Where do I get survivalist clothes?
walmart & the gap are the favored choices of true survivalists. don't
tell anyone tho, as there will be a mad rush & nithing left for the
rest of us.
>What size boot should a survivalist wear?
always wear one that is 2 sizes too small. the intense pain will keep
you alert & 'on you toes'.
>I don't know anyone named BOB. Can I still bug out?
page 3 of the survivalist's hand book - and i quote; "should you be
unable to develop a working relationship with anyone named BOB, FRANK
will do in a pinch. TOM is also a reasonable but less desirable
choice."
>How much do I need to survive?
3
> Can I get by with less?
absolutely NOT!
>Is there a list?
see page 7 of the afore mentioned guide.
>What color should I paint my cache containers?
pink is the best choice. true men will NEVER look in anything pink.
>How far is it and what is the best way to get there?
17 3/4 miles. use a tricycle, it's low profile will make you nearly
invisible to ground radar.
>Will my old socks work with my survivalist boots or do I need to upgrade?
i always recommend microsoft socks as they automatically upgrade as
needed.
>What is the best place to shoot an invader?
left knee. if he survives he won't be able to chase you as he will
only be able to run in circles
> What if I shoot him in the living room instead?
then you'll NEVER be able to get rid of him as he will be running
around in circles in your living room!
>Can I bring my mom?
ask your dad.
>I have read all the FAQs
not being into same sex relationships puts me at a disadvantage on
this question, tho i would imagine that most of them are quite able to
read on their own.
> and didn't see the answers to these questions
>anywhere. Maybe someone should research this and add it to the FAQ. After
>you guys tell me this stuff I am going to open a survival community and
>teach it to others, so it is really important you guys help me.
>One more thing. How long till I get to learn the secret survivalist
>handshake?
sears driving school instructers are trained in the 'secret handshake'
- just tell them that you are a FAQ & they will instruct you for free.
WhiteWolf
White Wolf
Good advice (snicker)
--
White Wolf
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the engineers are
German, the administrators are Swiss and the lovers are Italian.
Hell is where the police are German, the cooks are British, the engineers are
Italian, the administrators are French and the lovers are
Swiss.
Geoffrey L. Hardin
KB9WFK wrote:
> I want to know how to survive. Could someone please tell me and show me
> links to other people not dieing?
Try http://www.whitehouse.com/
It should take your minds off things, at least for a little while.
> I also have some questions:
> Is water important?
Not really. I don't even really store water or carry any in my pack. I have
dehydrated water. It's lighter and more compact.
> Can I bring beer instead?
Sure, Just remember when you fill your the bladder on your pack that you may
drink it faster than if you were to carry bottles. Many old-timers, myself
included, will only carry bottles. Wrap them entirely in 550 cord or neoprene
so they won't clink together. Not only will this prevent you from giving away
your position to marauding Taliban mutants, but it will reduce the number of
people asking you for a beer.
> How long should I plan on surviving?
Only 72 hours. No more, no less.
> Where do I get survivalist clothes?
From the Really Excellent BDU company. They are on sale this week.
> What size boot should a survivalist wear?
Boots? BOOTS?!? Dude, why wear boots when you can wear combat flip-flops?
Hell, be the first on your block to make them for yourself. Get an old tire
and some 550 cord. Sheez.
> I don't know anyone named BOB. Can I still bug out?
No. You're stuck. Don't forget that some guys named Robert will work just as
well.
> How much do I need to survive?
Everything. Just don't forget the beer.
> Can I get by with less?
No, of course not.
> Is there a list?
So many you wouldn't believe. To make things easier, just call Brigade
Quartermasters and order one of everything, COD.
> What color should I paint my cache containers?
Mauve. Unless you're Scottish, then you would paint it in the plaid of your
clan.
> How far is it and what is the best way to get there?
All the way. You get there by drinking yourself into a pissing drunk and
going over, under, around or through.
> Will my old socks work with my survivalist boots or do I need to upgrade?
Socks? With flip-flops? Eeewww.
> What is the best place to shoot an invader?
Anywhere you see one. The best way I've found is to grab your
assault-rifle-du-jour and climb the nearest clock tower. Make it really high
so you can see more. Anyone moving is an invader.
> What if I shoot him in the living room instead?
His or yours?
> Can I bring my mom?
Is she cute?
>
> I have read all the FAQs and didn't see the answers to these questions
> anywhere. Maybe someone should research this and add it to the FAQ. After
> you guys tell me this stuff I am going to open a survival community and
> teach it to others, so it is really important you guys help me.
Kewl. Realize that we all get 10% of your profits as consultants fees.
(Someone recently offered this to me, seriously.)
> One more thing. How long till I get to learn the secret survivalist
> handshake?
Well, it's not exactly a handshake, you don't get that until your a
34th-degree Survival Master. Most acolytes start out by simply slathering
Vaseline on their heads, bending over and . . .
Wait a minute. . .you ARE an acolyte, aren't you?
I don't see you on any of our lists!
-Geoff
Rick Bowen
<geo...@abcs.com> wrote:
>
>
>KB9WFK wrote:
>
>> I want to know how to survive. Could someone please tell me and show me
>> links to other people not dieing?
>
>Try http://www.whitehouse.com/
>
>It should take your minds off things, at least for a little while.
>
>
>> I also have some questions:
>> Is water important?
>
>Not really. I don't even really store water or carry any in my pack. I have
>dehydrated water. It's lighter and more compact.
Damn! I knew I forgot something. And Majors & US Cav are out at the
moment.
Rick Bowen
Ecclesiastes 3.3 & 3.8
It is time.
TSRA Life Member
NRA Member
KB9WFK
ROFLMAO
I'd hoped reading the replies would be as amusing as writing the post. (I
cracked myself up) I've had a damn good laugh 3 times today with White
Wolf's and your replies... I may have to tuck them away for later.
Joe
Oframe45
>anywhere.
look under MABU
Robert DeCavale
KB9WFK wrote:
[snip]
> Is water important?
I'm afraid so. If you can get a can of dehydrated water, you'll need
little more than a left-handed smoke shifter and 50ft. of shoreline to
outlive everyone, even the cockroackes and Keith Richards.
> Can I bring beer instead?
What the hell. Quantity beats quality though, so stock up on Olympia.
Remember: "It's the Water" ... says so right on the can. This may make
Olympia more important than goold ol' H20.
> How long should I plan on surviving?
Pick a number. Multiply by 4. Divide by the number of hairs on the back
of your left pinky. (If you have none, borrow a friend's pinky.) Add
your shoe size. Subtract your age. If you get a negative number, you
cannot mathematically survive. Sorry. You'll have to meet with SOL or
FUBAR, depending on your location.
> Where do I get survivalist clothes?
Banana Republic would seem a logical choice (living in a banana republic
takes a lot of survival skills, so these clothiers must know their
stuff!) but the smart money is on Lane Bryant. Remember more is better,
so that size 28 sequined cocktail dress beats the hell out of a $150
jungle vest.
> What size boot should a survivalist wear?
We don't wear boots. Flip-flops and platform shoes are de rigeur
nowadays, especially in neon colors so we can see our feet in low-light
conditions. The posers wear wooden clogs and/or Stride Rites.
> I don't know anyone named BOB. Can I still bug out?
Then you'll most likely become acquainted with SOL and/or FUBAR.
> How much do I need to survive? Can I get by with less? Is there a list?
There are several divergent schools of thought on this. WhiteWolf - a
wise newsgroup regular - is apparently hard set on three. Several
others, myself included, believe you need slightly more: 3.14159. One
nutjob suggested 7 7/8, but I suspect he was talking through a rather
large hat at the time.
Somewhere in the neighborhood of three, give or take a few decimals, is
the general consensus. To quote the Book of Armaments, chapter 2: "Four
shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou
then proceed to three. Five is right out."
> What color should I paint my cache containers?
International blaze orange is quite popular, but the trendier
survivalists like fluorescent lime green and various shades of magenta.
Don't forget to label the containers in 6" letters so you can see from a
distance what is in the container. Large directional signs are optional.
> How far is it and what is the best way to get there?
Too far and you can't get there from here. BOB could tell you another
way though.
> Will my old socks work with my survivalist boots or do I need to upgrade?
You need an upgrade. It just so happens I am the exclusive galactic
distributor of SurvivaSox v. 3.3. Made from space-age vegetable fibers!
NATO and Justice League standard issue! Only US$99.95/pair. Shoot me an
e-mail and I'll add you to my mailing list.
> What is the best place to shoot an invader? What if I shoot him in the
> living room instead?
Preferably on Earth in an air environment. Attempting to shoot someone
on any other planetary body could present some difficulties. The bullet
won't drop fast enough on the Moon and you'd burn the bottoms of of your
feet on the Sun, making aiming difficult at best. Range is diminished
greatly underwater, especially with flintlock weapons.
re: living room ... only if the color of dried blood will match the
decor. French Provincial and blood do not go together under any
circumstances, though blood and "1970s pimp crib" is very popular these
days. The planetary body guidelines also apply.
> Can I bring my mom?
Only if she'll raise our allowance and let us borrow the car on Saturday
nights.
> I have read all the FAQs and didn't see the answers to these questions
> anywhere. Maybe someone should research this and add it to the FAQ.
I'll have to check with BOB and get back to you on that.
> After you guys tell me this stuff I am going to open a survival community and
> teach it to others, so it is really important you guys help me.
Glad to be of assistance. If you get this community going, I can
guarantee you a protected sales territory for SurvivaSox v. 3.3.1, the
vastly improved successor to v. 3.3.
> One more thing. How long till I get to learn the secret survivalist
> handshake?
Oh no. We don't do handshakes. They're part of an insidious government
plot to istill a New World Order in this country. We prefer a ;^) and a
:^) with an occasional :^P
cheers,
-RDeC
Xena
<geo...@abcs.com> wrote:
>Boots? BOOTS?!? Dude, why wear boots when you can wear combat flip-flops?
>Hell, be the first on your block to make them for yourself. Get an old tire
>and some 550 cord. Sheez.
Hey Geoff!
That was really funny.
However, since I was the one who pointed out you could make temporary
shoes for caching out of old tires, I just had to point out that 550
cord is totally inappropriate for these flip flops!
He should learn how to spin his own cord and make it in the field as
he tries to get out, though w/out BOB's assistance, I don't think he'd
make it that far anyway, having met up with SOL or FUBAR, possibly
even SNAFU well before then.
Xena
KB9WFK
--
"Geoffrey L. Hardin" <geo...@abcs.com> wrote in message
news:3BB0DD0B...@abcs.com...
>
>
>
> > What size boot should a survivalist wear?
>
> Boots? BOOTS?!? Dude, why wear boots when you can wear combat
flip-flops?
> Hell, be the first on your block to make them for yourself. Get an old
tire
> and some 550 cord. Sheez.
>
OK. I picked up a couple of old tires and managed to lash them to my feet,
but I must say, they are quite clumsy. I feel like I got stuck during tire
drills in football practice. They seem like they would be great in deep
snow, they definitely flip and flop, but walking with my feet farther than
shoulder width apart seems awkward. Are you sure this is how it is done?
What if I have to run? I am pretty sure that I will not only be the FIRST
on my block to own and wear these, but more than likely the ONLY one. Maybe
I can find some chrome hubcaps to finish off the look and wear them not just
for every day but also for dress up occasions. Thanks for the helpful
reply. I'm off to lay in a supply of Vaseline to slather on my head so
others will realize I'm "one of you".
WhiteWolf
yokohama, bridgstone, retreads, etc.
spend the cash on quality merchandise and walk like a man!
WW
On Wed, 26 Sep 2001 12:41:57 -0500, "KB9WFK" <KB9...@mindspring.com>
wrote:
seb...@thegrid.net
clever people here.
Sue
Gunner
wrote:
>> > What size boot should a survivalist wear?
http://www.hollowtop.com/sandals.htm
http://www.artrans.com/rmsg/_newsgroups/footwea1.htm
http://www.ambergriscaye.com/25years/protection4feet.html
http://www.hartford-hwp.com/archives/50/036.html
Grim..but handy
http://www.dinf.ne.jp/doc/othr/dwe002/dwe00269.htm
Totally off topic, but funny as hell that turned up in the tire sandal
search. Cover your keyboard, extinguish all smoking materials...
http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/88new/8772.20.html
Hope it makes up for the Grim but handy link...
Gunner
----------------------------------------------------------.
"When one hears that the majority, not the constitution,
should define civil rights, one should feel a shiver of fear.
Constitutionally guaranteed rights protect gun owners,
property owners, people of different races and
many separate religions, to name a small number.
I will work to protect the rights of all,
not just some.
-- Rama O.A. Schneider, Williamstown, Vermont
----------------------------------------------------------
Gunner
>see, that's what you get for using the cheapie tires like continental,
>yokohama, bridgstone, retreads, etc.
>
>spend the cash on quality merchandise and walk like a man!
>
>WW
If he had been using Firestone ATs, he could have been killed.
Gunner
>
>
>On Wed, 26 Sep 2001 12:41:57 -0500, "KB9WFK" <KB9...@mindspring.com>
>wrote:
>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>>
>>> > What size boot should a survivalist wear?
>>>
>>> Boots? BOOTS?!? Dude, why wear boots when you can wear combat
>>flip-flops?
>>> Hell, be the first on your block to make them for yourself. Get an old
>>tire
>>> and some 550 cord. Sheez.
>>>
>>OK. I picked up a couple of old tires and managed to lash them to my feet,
>>but I must say, they are quite clumsy. I feel like I got stuck during tire
>>drills in football practice. They seem like they would be great in deep
>>snow, they definitely flip and flop, but walking with my feet farther than
>>shoulder width apart seems awkward. Are you sure this is how it is done?
>>What if I have to run? I am pretty sure that I will not only be the FIRST
>>on my block to own and wear these, but more than likely the ONLY one. Maybe
>>I can find some chrome hubcaps to finish off the look and wear them not just
>>for every day but also for dress up occasions. Thanks for the helpful
>>reply. I'm off to lay in a supply of Vaseline to slather on my head so
>>others will realize I'm "one of you".
>>
>>
KB9WFK
--
<Xena (Xena)> wrote in message news:3bb20648...@news.commspeed.net...
SOL was no help what so ever. Whatever I asked him for he didn't have,
didn't know where to get or had never heard of. SNAFU always had what I
needed in his "other cache". FUBAR, on the otherhand, thought he had one and
remembered seeing one just the other day but I'll be danged if he could find
it again with both hands. I don't think he could even chew gum at the same
time. Now I know why BOB is so dang important. I still think keeping a BOB
in the bedroom closet is a bit creepy though.
Gunner
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Richard Lewis
>>
>>Totally off topic, but funny as hell that turned up in the tire sandal
>>search. Cover your keyboard, extinguish all smoking materials...
>>http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/88new/8772.20.html
>>
>>Hope it makes up for the Grim but handy link...
>>
>>Gunner
I didn't load the links since I don't plan to make tire sandals again
anytime soon but it brings back some sorta fond memories.
The jungle warfare instructor who taught me to make these things
(Panama in the 80s) always said to cut the soles straight down the
middle of the tire....but when I wore them the curve of the tire
always felt wrong and I ended up with feet that looked and felt like
hamburger.
I eventually figured out that you shouldn't cut them right down the
middle of the tire....you cut them at a 45 degree angle from one side
of the tire to the other. That lets you have one single thickness of
rubber the entire length of the sandal and the curve of the tire lies
flat on your feet as you walk.
ral