LAWYERS SLANG summary
Jerry Dunn
Hi,
Thanks to anyone who sent lawyer and courtroom for my book, "Idiom Savant:
Slang As It Is Slung" (Henry Holt & Co., NY, spring 1997). Here's the
summary I said I'd post.
No doubt I've made some boneheaded errors, especially in usage. Please
send any corrections or additions to me by e-mail:
I hope you can add example sentences to some definitions, to show how the
terms are properly used.
It's nice of you to help. Thanks again very much!
Cheers,
Jerry Dunn
The summary:
Lawyers
bag lady n. a woman seeking a divorce who brings a bag full of her
husband's financial papers to the attorney's office.
beaten with a bag of money adj. settled out of court. Rel. greenback
poultice: a large, soothing monetary settlement.
blue-hair case n. a slip-and-fall lawsuit involving a senior citizen. łI
donąt think we should represent Mrs. Jones. You know how hard it is to
win a blue-hair case.˛
bomber n. a divorce lawyer who tries to wipe out the other spouse by
grabbing all the assets for his client.
burnt-toast jurisprudence n. what you get when a judge is having a bad
day and is in a foul mood by the time you see him.
capper n. a person who recruits accident victims for a personal injury
lawyer. "That tow-truck driver makes more money as a capper than on his
paycheck."
come to Jesus meeting n. a meeting in which the attorney advises the
client that his case stinks, and he should settle quickly for whatever it
takes. łWe need to have a come to Jesus meeting with Chem-Tech; will you
set it up for Tuesday?˛
criminal lawyer n. a redundancy.
do the Big Shoe Dance v. for an attorney to make an elaborate but
meaningless presentation when he has no good arguments. Derived from a
Pee Wee Herman movie. Example: łI can explain that, your Honor. Other
than my clientąs three felony convictions, he has never had any contact
with the criminal justice system. None!˛
dump truck n. a criminal attorney or public defender who promises a
strong defense but does nothing and pleads his clients guilty. łSome
lawyer he turned out to be -- this dump truck basically backed into court
and unloaded me.˛ Rel. bleed Śem and plead Śem: for a defense attorney
to charge a fee for legal work but enter a guilty plea before trial.
Federal Sentencing Guidelines decoder ring v. what you need when trying
to navigate a particularly difficult statute. In commercial law this
would be a łUniform Commercial Code decoder ring.˛
hallway hero n. a prosecutor who tells exaggerated tales of his brilliant
maneuvers in the courtroom.
home run n. a sure-fire case against a defendant with sufficient finances
to pay big damages. "I've got a home run against Frito-Lay. A plumber
broke three teeth on a rusty nail in a bag of Fritos."
home-towned adj. when an out of town attorney loses a case due to local
bias, because he or his client live outside the community.
Mr. Green n. cash payment of a lawyerąs fee or retainer. łThereąs a
witness missing, your Honor. Iąm waiting for Mr. Green to appear.˛
Translation: the lawyer isnąt ready to try the case because the client
hasnąt paid yet.
nail and mail v. to tack a subpoena or other legal papers on someoneąs
front door, while sending a support copy through the post office. łWe
canąt locate her ex-husband to serve him. Letąs do a nail and mail.˛
nastygram n. a letter sent to the opposition in a new case, explaining
why your side is going to win and stating a settlement demand. łMcGrath,
send a nastygram to X Corporation. Letąs wake Śem up a little bit.˛
pass the gas v. to order a death sentence. Rel. get-high-and-die
sentence: execution by lethal injection.
piss backwards v. for a witness to offer testimony inconsistent with what
he told police earlier.
pound the table v. part of a litigatorąs maxim: łWhen the facts are on
your side, pound the facts. When the law is on your side, pound the law.
When neither are on your side, pound the table.˛
rainmaker n. an attorney whose main role is bringing new clients to the
firm. "Henry isn't much of litigator, but he's an amazing rainmaker.
That's why he made senior partner at age 42."
retread n. a divorce lawyerąs client who has already been divorced once
or several times.
tar-baby case n. a case in which the attorney becomes progressively more
mired with less satisfaction.
sandbag v. to keep evidence or testimony in waiting to surprise the
opposition.
shopper n. a wife with no income, assets, or marketable skills, thus
requiring alimony. "Mrs. Carmody is a shopper, so we better ask for big
monthly payments." Also, a person who goes around talking to lots of
attorneys simply to get free legal advice.
treasure map n. records used by a divorce lawyer to locate the spouseąs
assets (bank accounts, tax returns, financial statements, business
ledgers, etc.).
unring the bell v. refers to the impossible task of getting a jury to
disregard testimony or evidence after the judge rules it inadmissible.
łThe jury heard the words Śwife beater.ą No judge can unring that bell.˛
walk the dog v. for a prosecutor to go to trial with a sure loser of a
case. łI offered the defendant reduced charges, but he said no. Guess
Iąll be walking the dog.˛
wet reckless n. łreckless driving, alcohol related,˛ a reduction from the
more serious offense of drunk driving.
--
Jerry Dunn
jd...@west.net