help with "potty" words, PLEASE!!
AS...@asuacad.bitnet
For the past couple of weeks, our 3yo daughter has been calling us
"caca face" when she gets angry with us. This can be attributed to
two boys (4 and 5yo) at her daycare. She has been at this daycare since
shortly after her third BDay (about 2months ago), and we are very pleased
with this daycare, EXCEPT for this situation, and the lack of attention
to it from the director (the teachers are trying to deal with it).
All the kids (ages 2-5) are all in one room. According to her teachers,
she does NOT talk this way at DCare, but they have had complaints from other
parents about the effect these same two boys are having on their children.
Our main concern is dealing with this at home. The daycare had suggested
sending her to the bathroom if she wants to talk like that. However,
she perceives this all as a joke, and laughes when we tell her that those
are bad words to call someone. If we put her in timeout, she continues
to yell "CACAFACE" or POOPOOFACE" when she is in the corner. We think she
is still too young to understand having TV priviliges removed, taking away
toys only aggrivates this also. Can anyone suggest an effective way to
communicate to her that this is not funny, and insulting to the person she
calls cacaface? We are reaching the end of our rope on this one.
Any help would be appreciated, PLEASE!!!!
Thanks...
Patrick
aspdl@asuacad
Valerie Bock
hurts people's feelings and that you choose not to be with people who call
you names. Then send her to her room, close the door, and explain that you
will be interested in her company when she is ready to be pleasant company.
Mostly, this is a play for attention. If there is no major attention given
this behavior, and in fact she finds herself completely without an audience
when she does it, the allure will wear off quickly. Make sure that she is
getting lots of attention when she is pleasant, and comment on how nice it
is to be with her when everyone is treating eachother with respect.
Valerie
********************************************************************
* Valerie C. Bock * Mom to Jimmy, 7; Stephen, 5; Katie 2.75 *
* vb...@delphi.com * (It's the go nuts now, go broke later plan!) *
********************************************************************
DougH8
course you have to use judgement on this but if a child calls you a bitch, you
can explain that a bitch is a female dog and ask if you look like a female dog.
Then request that the child not call you that any more. If they continue, then
they should be asked to do something to make up for deliberately hurting your
feelings and if they won't, then they should be sent to their room. (Of course,
you have to balance this by looking to see if you as a parent have done
something which is unfair. In that case, you should apologize and possibly do
something for them as well as them doing something for you.)
In handling children, I find it is best to teach them to behave the way we
expect adults to behave. If you run into my car, then I expect you to make up
for the damage. If you won't and I can prove that you are deliberately running
into my car, only then you would go to jail. Do we want to get our children
used to the idea of being "jailed", ie sent to their rooms? I suggest giving
them a chance first to make up for the damage.
amy uhrbach
> For the past couple of weeks, our 3yo daughter has been calling us
>"caca face" when she gets angry with us. This can be attributed to
>communicate to her that this is not funny, and insulting to the person she
>calls cacaface? We are reaching the end of our rope on this one.
>Any help would be appreciated, PLEASE!!!!
There is only one way - ignore it! If you react strongly, she will know this
is a fun way to get a reaction. We ignored it, and it went away at home after
a day. He still does this sometimes at nursery, but at age 4 this is to be
expected. This is the age of creative insults, and that's one the boys all
appreciate (your stock goes up with peers). Our favorite insult, the one we
couldn't ignore, was to Dad: "I have a better hair grower than you!" All too
true :-)
-Amy
Diane Reese
> For the past couple of weeks, our 3yo daughter has been calling us
>"caca face" when she gets angry with us.
> Our main concern is dealing with this at home. The daycare had suggested
>sending her to the bathroom if she wants to talk like that.
Good advice. Our son's kindergarten teacher told us last year that every
fall there is an epidemic of "bathroom words-itis" among the incoming
kindergarteners (from overhearing things on the bus, she suspected). Her
tactic, which worked VERY well with our son and the rest of her class,
was to quietly lead the offender aside and calmly say, "People don't
like to hear those words or be called those names. If you need to say
them, you may go into the bathroom and say them all you want, then when
you're ready to be with the rest of us, you may come out."
I think part of the fascination of "those words" is that adults make
such a big deal out of it when kids say them. If it's handled calmly and
with the acknowledgement that the kids are going to want to try them out
somehow in a safe environment, they seem to lose their fascination. Good
luck!
Diane Reese
re...@watson.ibm.com
(These opinions are my own, not my employer's.)
Kenneth Staffan (15140)
> Hello All,
> For the past couple of weeks, our 3yo daughter has been calling us
> "caca face" when she gets angry with us. This can be attributed to
Boy, guess Ben started that right on age cue (he's 3 also). Here's
what seems to have worked with us. We didn't get angry, we just told
him matter-of-factly that he wasn't supposed to use "potty talk" that way.
For a while, we just pointed out the various ones :-), letting him
know that they were on the list of unacceptable names. After this
sank in for a few weeks, the frequency went down, and he only did it
when he was really going all out to let us know that he was frustrated
(like when he was mad about not being able to do something). Then
we started punishing him for those cases, and it seems to have pretty
much gone away.
Ken "poo-poo-head" Staffan :-)
+----------------------------------------------+-----------------------------+
| Kenneth E. Staffan | sta...@clpd.kodak.com | The views expressed herein |
+--------------------+-------------------------+ do not reflect those of |
| Eastman Kodak, Clinical Diagnostics Division | Eastman Kodak Company, Inc. |
+----------------------------------------------+-----------------------------+
WW
>AS...@ASUACAD.BITNET wrote:
>> Hello All,
>> For the past couple of weeks, our 3yo daughter has been calling us
>> "caca face" when she gets angry with us. This can be attributed to
We seemed to have less trouble than some others with the 'creative name
calling.' Mainly because one of our favorite games before going to bed was
to come up with funny names for each other. Ground rules were you couldn't
use any of the forbidden words (most are going to be pretty obvious), and
we generally had to alternate.
When David got older, we'd go up and down the alphabet.
I think slobberface and slimebuckethead were the two favorites from this
period.
Wendy