mouth soaping questions
Michelle Keene
ii...@Msu.oscs.montana.edu recently wrote:
In article , "K.N." writes: >My 10 year old son mouths off a lot >to me
lately. Friends have suggested that >I wash out his mouth with soap.
What results >have other mothers had with this technique? >Does the
child dislike the method? I will admit that i've done this -- probably
because my parents used it with me and my sibling, although I don't
remember exactly the specific rules broken. However, I don't do it for
"mouthing off". I reserve it strictly for foul language (F**K,S**T,
etc.). If I did it just for mouthing off, my oldest would neve have to
brush his teeth -- and since he's mouthy already and only 11, I
anticipate it getting worse. Grounding and such is the usual consequence
after a couple warnings. I will *not* tolerate foul language, though. I
recall washing out my son's mouth with soap less than a half dozen times
between ages 8 and 11, He absolutely positively hated it, and so did I.
I think it must be very unsanitary, so I always used a fresh bar of soap
(usually one of those travel sizes). I felt very bad about it, but I
honestly belive it got my point across in a very strong way. I've never
had to do it with my daughter (now 8), but I will if she starts it up.
She's seen her brother go through it, so maybe I won't have to. I don't
think ingestion is likely to be a problem with a 10 YO. I haven't heard
my son use a foul word in almost a year. Now maybe he uses such words
when he's with his friends, although I certainly hope not, and I don't
think he does -- but *I* will not tolerate it in *my* presence. So I
would *not* recommend it just because he's "mouthy". It's physically
abusive, like spanking, and should be a strong "last resort", if used at
all. Taking away privileges is usually much more effective with older
children.
I need to know what she means. She said that she felt very bad about it,
that
is washing her son's mouth out with soap. Why would she feel this way?
What
was it about the soap method that would make her feel it was a strong
method to use?
It seems from what she said that she used a toothbrush. How is a
toothbrush used in a mouth soaping?
She seems to imply that she believes this method to be a big correction
method. She said it was equal to spanking. Why is this?
She said that her son absolutely positively hated it. Was it because
of the type of soap used? Was it because she was especially angry and
determined? Was it because of the way she did it?
If anyone has any idea what she meant, I'd appreciate knowing why. It
just seems that mouth soaping is a pretty light method. Maybe, there's
something she hasn't said.
Further, why would the kid feel humiliated with this method? It doesn't
seem to be a disrespectful method. Is it because of the way it is
carried out? Or, is it because of the fact that the mother looks upon
this method as a strong punishment?
Somehow, when methods of child rearing are used, it is important to
find out the ramifications of a method.
Michelle Keene
Michelle Keene
Judy Doughty
Why is it that so many people are against washing out a
child's mouth with soap? I wash out my son's and my daughter's
mouths with soap. They really hate it. It helps them to
remember real good. I don't have to do it too often. Usually,
I just have to remind them of the soap. They change their behavior
immediately. It is a good punishment.
Why do people want to take away this kind of punishment that
works so well? It is a lot lighter than spanking. It is equal
to corner time or timeouts.
Linda Ward
In article <32A210...@aol.com>, Judy Doughty
Nonsense, spanking and soaping are both abuse. Teachers don't abuse in
the classroom and yet we manage to maintain discipline perfectly by mutual respect.
Your child respects the soap more than he/she respects you. That must feel
really nice.
I'm the mother of 3 in case you think otherwise.
Just a thought.....when your children are older, would you expect them to parent
in this way too? Your children have not learnt the right way to behave any more than
you have.
--
dil...@dilemma.demon.co.uk
Rhonda Schneider
My God!
The child hates it because his parents, who he loves and trusts,
have just done an unbelieveably cruel thing, which seems all out
of proportion to whatever the crime was!
Are people so sense that they don't understand how destructive it
is to the parent-child bond, to perpetrate such an act on a CHILD!!!
Kids try us in all kids of ways. Lots of time they are just checking
to see what's acceptable and what's not. They don't need to be
treated violently and without compassion to understand what the
boundaries are.
Rhonda
(You need a license to fish, but anyone can be a parent.)
Rhonda Schneider
My God!
The child hates it because his parents, who s/he loves and trusts,
have just done an unbelieveably cruel thing, which seems all out
of proportion to whatever the crime was!
Are people so dense that they don't understand how destructive it
Rhonda Schneider
Judy Doughty wrote:
>
> Why is it that so many people are against washing out a
> child's mouth with soap? I wash out my son's and my daughter's
> mouths with soap. They really hate it. It helps them to
> remember real good. I don't have to do it too often. Usually,
> I just have to remind them of the soap. They change their behavior
> immediately. It is a good punishment.
> Why do people want to take away this kind of punishment that
> works so well? It is a lot lighter than spanking. It is equal
> to corner time or timeouts.
I suspect that if you zapped them with an electical current
they would remember "real good" too.
Sharon
I agree with you 100%. The thing that gets is most of the time kids get
their mouths washed out with soap for repeating something they heard
their parents say.
Lighter then spanking??? Jam a bar of soap in your mouth Judy!! See
what it is like.
Sharon
"It is better to be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and prove it." (Too late for ME, right?)
A.Lincoln
Eric T. Benoit
On Tue, 3 Dec 1996, Rhonda Schneider wrote:
> Date: Tue, 03 DEC 1996 11:19:47 -0800
> From: Rhonda Schneider <rho...@nwnet.com>
> Newgroups: misc.kids
> Subject: Re: mouth soaping questions
>
> Judy Doughty wrote:
> >
> > Why is it that so many people are against washing out a
> > child's mouth with soap? I wash out my son's and my daughter's
> > mouths with soap. They really hate it. It helps them to
> > remember real good. I don't have to do it too often. Usually,
> > I just have to remind them of the soap. They change their behavior
> > immediately. It is a good punishment.
> > Why do people want to take away this kind of punishment that
> > works so well? It is a lot lighter than spanking. It is equal
> > to corner time or timeouts.
>
>
> I suspect that if you zapped them with an electical current
> they would remember "real good" too.
>
>
Not to mention soap can cause heart attacks in children...yeah they'd
remember that real good to...in someone elses care.....
Misty mommy to Makayla 11/20/95
Richard Kasperowski
Rhonda Schneider wrote:
>
> Judy Doughty wrote:
> >
> > Why is it that so many people are against washing out a
> > child's mouth with soap? I wash out my son's and my daughter's
> > mouths with soap. They really hate it. It helps them to
> > remember real good. I don't have to do it too often. Usually,
> > I just have to remind them of the soap. They change their behavior
> > immediately. It is a good punishment.
> > Why do people want to take away this kind of punishment that
> > works so well? It is a lot lighter than spanking. It is equal
> > to corner time or timeouts.
>
> I suspect that if you zapped them with an electical current
> they would remember "real good" too.
According to my father-in-law, who works for the Division of Social
Services (DSS) in Massachusetts, washing-out a child's mouth with soap
is considered child abuse in Massachusetts. It can be used as evidence
in a court of law if DSS seeks the removal of a child from his parents'
custody.
--
Rich Kasperowski
Cambridge, MA, USA
kaspe...@acm.org