Ten Words Describing Your Child
Lois Price
things on the application is to list ten words describing your
child. I found this to be an interesting exercise when filling
out the application for my older son. So far for Adam I have:
a charmer, energetic, enthusiastic, imaginative.
I thought others on the net might like the challenge of describing
their own kids in all of 10 words.
lois
Bruce Giese
>things on the application is to list ten words describing your
>child. I found this to be an interesting exercise when filling
>out the application for my older son. So far for Adam I have:
>a charmer, energetic, enthusiastic, imaginative.
I had to fill out a similar form for Marc (age 4) for pre-school. It
was really hard to pick the right words. I wish I could remember exactly
what I wrote down, but I think some of them were:
curious, inquisitive, creative, polite, and I might have even said logical.
Bruce Giese
"Where do moms and dads get all that money?" Marc
Stephanie Bodoff
Bruce Giese
Interesting that both of these parents picked words with only positive
connotations. Either these kids are too good to be true or the parents
are censoring their perceptions.
It might be interesting to go through this exercise in the privacy of
your own mind, but as far as school is concerned I can't see what the
point of this description is. I think I would leave this item blank.
Stephanie
Kenneth Staffan (15140)
>
> >things on the application is to list ten words describing your
> >child. I found this to be an interesting exercise when filling
> >out the application for my older son.
> Interesting that both of these parents picked words with only positive
> connotations.
Heh, heh. At first I thought the same thing, because I know it was the
not-necessarily positive attributes that sprang to my mind first. However,
mentally doing the exercise made me realize that, although they immediately
jumped to mind, they weren't the _only_ ones I could think of :-) I
think Ben's list would start out something like this:
aggressive, energetic, physical, loud, stubborn,
mechanically-inclined, curious, social, helpful...
Now whether or not I would say the same things on a Kindergarten application
is completely another story :-) Actually, now that I look at it, I
suppose even the not-necessarily positive ones could be looked at in
a positive light... Maybe my "adjusted" Kindergarten application
would substitute:
independent for stubborn :-)
vocal for loud :-)
athletic for physical :-)
self-assertive for aggressive :-)
Ken
+----------------------------------------------+-----------------------------+
| Kenneth E. Staffan | sta...@clpd.kodak.com | The views expressed herein |
+--------------------+-------------------------+ do not reflect those of |
| Eastman Kodak, Clinical Diagnostics Division | Eastman Kodak Company, Inc. |
+----------------------------------------------+-----------------------------+
Wen-Lin Wang
>In article <giese.7...@k9.dev.cdx.mot.com> gi...@k9.dev.cdx.mot.com (Bruce Giese) writes:
> >a charmer, energetic, enthusiastic, imaginative.
>connotations. Either these kids are too good to be true or the parents
>are censoring their perceptions.
>
>It might be interesting to go through this exercise in the privacy of
>your own mind, but as far as school is concerned I can't see what the
>point of this description is. I think I would leave this item blank.
>
First of all, imagine if you put down words like, whiny, uncooperative,
disobedient, selfish, etc. what kind of impression it would make on the
teachers or whoever it is to deal with your child? It would immediately
paint an unfavorable picture of your child and the person who reads it
would immediately file it in his/her memory.
Of course all our kids have bad moments like those mentioned above, but
parents certainly like to emphasize the positive side of the children
to give a best impression and hopefully help teacher to look into that
favorable side as well. Leaving it blank is to say that you'll leave it
all to the teacher and your child to figure those quality out.
The school and teachers have to deal with the unfavorable sides of the
children regardless and they will find out. To know it in advance does
not serve much purpose unless the child is dangerous to him/herself and/or
others, IMHO.
Wen-lin
--
Anne Wiebe
>Stephanie Bodoff (s...@hplb.hpl.hp.com) wrote:
>>
>> >things on the application is to list ten words describing your
>> >child. I found this to be an interesting exercise when filling
>> >out the application for my older son.
>
>
>> Interesting that both of these parents picked words with only positive
>> connotations.
>
>Heh, heh. At first I thought the same thing, because I know it was the
>not-necessarily positive attributes that sprang to my mind first. However,
>mentally doing the exercise made me realize that, although they immediately
>jumped to mind, they weren't the _only_ ones I could think of :-) I
>think Ben's list would start out something like this:
>
> aggressive, energetic, physical, loud, stubborn,
> mechanically-inclined, curious, social, helpful...
>
>Now whether or not I would say the same things on a Kindergarten application
>is completely another story :-)
I know the original poster wasn't too concerned (or didn't seem to be) about
possible negative images that might arise about the child, but:
I get really confused when I try to decide what mix of positive and negative
to give my child -- or myself, for that matter -- in such things as
applications, whether to kindergarten or graduate school. There's a part
of me that's very authority-oriented, which wants to just tell the whole
honest truth and trust that the Authority will be fair and kind and smart
about how to handle that positive and negative information. Just tell them
my daughter is too-loud, or that she has Extremely Bad Days in which she hits
and spits and won't do anything she's asked. Luckily, I've become less naive,
at least usually; I share all that with her physical/occupational therapist
(Elizabeth has sensory integration difficulties) or with her psychologist,
or certainly with her dad or my family, but but but: mostly, these days, I've
become a Lot More Cautious in describing my child to anyone who is teaching
or evaluating her.
I'm aware of the impact these words will have, and the whole issue seems
pretty loaded and complex. In a kindergarten application, do they really
expect this kind of no-holds-barred honesty from parents? It so much depends
on the person reading the application. Many who would read it would react
pretty strongly to the negatives if they were listed; the child would be
seen as a real troublemaker if even his/her parents describe him/her so!
And this might really haunt them, or become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I, like another poster, become more and more suspicious of the motives of
the application asking for these adjectives. Why do they ask? What are
they going to do with the information, what conclusions or directions will
this lead them to? If I say negative things, does
that then translate into a poor reflection on the parent-child bond? Is
this like a recommendation from a professor for graduate school, in which even
the faintest hint of a negative takes on very grave implications? As in, if
the professor who's recommending them says anything at all bad, this person
must be really hopeless!
In my own application for graduate school, I remember describing my
Statement of Purpose as a pretty accurate reflection of me and my purpose;
I said, if they don't like that, they sure won't like me. And I suppose
you could argue that way even for a kindergarten application. But I was an
adult, with at least partially open eyes (:-)) and I was aware of this
kind of judgment. What DO professionals expect when they ask us to
evaluate our own child???
If it were me, on a kindergarten application, I'd stick with the positives.
Keep his/her options open; maybe try to ask for the teacher who has the best
record, if that's possible.
Let her show the negatives for herself -- then have The Conference with
the teacher where you explain just what's going on and how you've been
handling it and express your great willingness to work with her to solve
whatever problems and help your child's progress.
--
Anne Hill Wiebe Mom to Elizabeth, born 2/20/88
wi...@emx.cc.utexas.edu Always remember:
Center for Space Research, When in danger, or in doubt,
Univ. of Texas at Austin Run in circles, scream and shout!
Bruce Giese
> >things on the application is to list ten words describing your
> >child. I found this to be an interesting exercise when filling
> >out the application for my older son. So far for Adam I have:
> >a charmer, energetic, enthusiastic, imaginative.
> I had to fill out a similar form for Marc (age 4) for pre-school. It
> was really hard to pick the right words. I wish I could remember exactly
> what I wrote down, but I think some of them were:
> curious, inquisitive, creative, polite, and I might have even said logical.
> Bruce Giese
>Interesting that both of these parents picked words with only positive
>connotations. Either these kids are too good to be true or the parents
>are censoring their perceptions.
We're cesoring their perceptions. I almost included some humor in
my post which would have said, "which sounds a lot better than whining,
clingy, bothersome, and moody". I wouldn't want to put negative things
on a pre-school form.
>It might be interesting to go through this exercise in the privacy of
>your own mind, but as far as school is concerned I can't see what the
>point of this description is. I think I would leave this item blank.
I assume they just want to know what to expect. If the kid shows
different traits, it might be a bad sign. They also gave Marc a test
of various skills back in January when he went onto the waiting list.
He did very well because many of the things they asked were things that
Marc and I do all the time, such as stacking blocks, finding out what's
different between two similar pictures, finding which of several items is
different, etc.
Bruce Giese
Marc's Dad
Lois Price
it to take this turn. (I was pretty much interested in what
words other parents would come up with).
My sense of why this question is on the application is that
it is a parent's thumbnail sketch of their child, and the school
may reference it to see if it coincides with their observation
of the child. The school also gets an evaluation from the pre-school
teacher. Since I have another child who is already in the school,
I will find out from the school and let you'all know what they say.
Part of my motivation was to come up with an interesting set of words.
I think anyone's attributes can be seen either positively or negatively.
For example, is my son stubborn or does he know his own mind?
In filling out an application, I'd like mine to stand out as
being interesting or different.
lois
ps: The current list for Adam is: energetic, enthusiastic, a charmer,
imaginative, thoughtful, fun loving, creative thinker
Constance Stillinger
I doubt that any list of adjectives a parent puts down has much of any
predictive validity....however this question could be very useful for
spotting kids with problem PARENTS. Most parents are going to put
down a bunch of positive traits. If a kid's parent writes down a lot
of negative traits, however, that could indicate a troubled family.
Connie
--
Constance A. (Chana) Stillinger c...@csli.stanford.edu
Social Science Research Associate, CSLI, Stanford University
Fil Feit
>Stephanie Bodoff (s...@hplb.hpl.hp.com) wrote:
>>
>> >things on the application is to list ten words describing your
>> >child. I found this to be an interesting exercise when filling
>> >out the application for my older son.
>
>
>> Interesting that both of these parents picked words with only positive
>> connotations.
>
>think Ben's list would start out something like this:
>
> aggressive, energetic, physical, loud, stubborn,
> mechanically-inclined, curious, social, helpful...
>
>Now whether or not I would say the same things on a Kindergarten application
>is completely another story :-) Actually, now that I look at it, I
>suppose even the not-necessarily positive ones could be looked at in
>a positive light... Maybe my "adjusted" Kindergarten application
>would substitute:
>
> independent for stubborn :-)
> vocal for loud :-)
> athletic for physical :-)
> self-assertive for aggressive :-)
>
>Ken
With tongue firmly in cheek:
"aggressive" -> "takes toys from other kids"
"energetic" -> "never sits still"
"physical" -> "hits kid when he's taking their toys"
"loud" -> "yells when they try to take the toy back"
"stubborn" -> "insists it's really his toy"
"mechanically-inclined" -> "took the toy apart, so the point is moot"
"curious" -> "nosy"
"social" -> "interrupts everybody"
"helpful" -> "...whether you need it or not"
Of course, I'm not commenting on Ben. I'm wondering how my (now .3 yr old)
will be in a few years. I _know_ he'll be "mechanically-inclined." His
current favorite toy is the tv remote control.
I'd hate to have the job of reading those applications. Maybe they just ignore
that section, and then pull it out after they get to know the child, just for
laughs.
--f2
----------------------------------------
"Never march in another man's parade."
Laura McGinnis
Stephanie Bod...@hplb.hp (1195)
> Interesting that both of these parents picked words with only positive
> connotations. Either these kids are too good to be true or the parents
> are censoring their perceptions.
> It might be interesting to go through this exercise in the privacy of
> your own mind, but as far as school is concerned I can't see what the
> point of this description is. I think I would leave this item blank.
I have to agree with the original responses, that listed positive
characteristics of our children. You only get one chance to make a
first impression, and this application may be it.
If you describe your kid in positive terms, you are setting positive
expectations for that child in the teachers' eyes. Maybe, then, when
the child does act up or has problems, the teachers will be more likely
to assume that it's a one-time anomaly, rather than a normal behavior
pattern. Out-of-character behaviors tend to get attention ("Something
must be bothering Johnny, that he won't finish his homework; let's try
to fix it"). Negative normal behavior patterns seem to be written off
as status quo with no positive actions applied to correct the situation
("Well, Johnny won't do his homework because he's stubborn; we'll just
have to make him sit here until he finishes it").
My kids are great, but they have their moments. I like to think that
they act up for their own good reasons & these are unusual situations
that need our attention. Mickey's teachers are learning what sets him
off, but they started with the assumption that he is a bright, curious,
studious, mechanical kid, who had had little interaction with peers
until he started school. So, they knew to help he learn how to
socialize, share, take turns, go potty & brush his teeth, etc. If I had
described him as stubborn, shy, and selfish, with no interest in art
work or personal hygeine, they would have had a very different picture
of the same kid. Both pictures may be accurate, but which describes a
child you want to have in a class with 23 other kids?
I also think that, for parent having a hard time coming up with positive
things to say about their child, this is a good exercise in trying to
see "negative"characteristics in a positive way. For us, "curious +
studious" usually = "shy + selfish", "stubborn" can mean "long attention
span" for some activities ("Put the trains away, it's past your
bedtime." "No, I'm still playing."). So, my advice is, when you're
faced with a question like this, try to describe your kids as accurately
and positively as possible - like you're trying to "sell" them. You'll
give them a better chance to succeed if other start out thinking
favorably of them.
Just my opinion, of course.
Laura
"Don't tell them he cries, it can be a surprise. We'll trade him for a
kitty cat"
--- Joe Scruggs, "New Baby" (Bahama Pajamas album)
Vicki Newton
"mine", "mine", "mine", "mine", "mine", "mine", "mine", "mine", "mine"
oh wait, that is only 9 words. ok, add
"no"
to make it ten!
-veek-
mom to alex (20.5 months) and emmett (2.5 months)
p.s. ten words for emmett? ok, here goes:
snooze, nurse, poop, snooze, nurse, poop, snooze, nurse, poop...and poop!
(i'm breastfeeding :-)
Lois Price
morning to get the official line on the reason for the 10 word
description on the application form. It was essentially what I
thought yesterday, to see whether the info from the parent, the
pre-school teacher, and from their own observation is in-sync.
The example the teacher told me was if a child is very quiet and
shy during the visit to the school, but the parent's description
indicates an outgoing, friendly kid, they look further into it. For
example, they may go to the preschool to observer the child further.
On another note, she also told me that this year is the first
time, there is more demand for private school slots than the
supply can meet in the East Bay.
lois
Mark Daims
>From: lo...@Ingres.COM (Lois Price)
>Subject: Ten Words Describing Your Child
>Date: 27 Sep 93 18:33:25 GMT
>lois
For some time now I've noted that descriptions of fully grown children
by their parents usually is confined to five words or so:
Location: City & State..........1-2 words
Job/Profession..................1 or 2
Employer........................1
Married/Divorced................1 (yes or no)
Number of children..............1
Hardly any information is conveyed on what they are like;as in the ten
word thing for kindergardeners.
Mark
David Kassover
>
> I assume they just want to know what to expect.
Yes. That's no reason to help them form prejudices.
--
David Kassover "Proper technique helps protect you against
RPI BSEE '77 MSCSE '81 sharp weapons and dull judges."
kass...@aule-tek.com F. Collins
kass...@ra.crd.ge.com
Grace Sylvan
Interesting that both of these parents picked words with only positive
connotations. Either these kids are too good to be true or the parents
are censoring their perceptions.
Actually, I frame most of my kid's behaviors in 'positive
connotations' in my mind because it helps me come from a different
place when parenting them.
STUBBORN can be hard to distract, knows what she wants
Or PEST might really be because she's a social child, and likes to be
with other people (thus following me around!)
Or CRYER might be sensative
Or SCREAMER could be *expressive*
All of those are equally true. But what will help me address the issue
and underlying needs, calling my child a crybaby in my head, or
understanding that for whatever reason, the child is reacting
strongly.
--
Tigger (Grace Sylvan) Mom of Katherine Yelena, 8/8/89,
tig...@satyr.sylvan.com Corey 1/31/91; we loved him so,
Robin Gregory born 2/28/92
Kenneth Staffan (15140)
> In article 61...@clpd.kodak.com, sta...@clpd.Kodak.Com (Kenneth Staffan (15140)) writes:
> >
> >think Ben's list would start out something like this:
> >
> > aggressive, energetic, physical, loud, stubborn,
> > mechanically-inclined, curious, social, helpful...
> >
> >Now whether or not I would say the same things on a Kindergarten application
> > independent for stubborn :-)
> > vocal for loud :-)
> > athletic for physical :-)
>
> With tongue firmly in cheek:
> "aggressive" -> "takes toys from other kids"
> "energetic" -> "never sits still"
> "physical" -> "hits kid when he's taking their toys"
> "loud" -> "yells when they try to take the toy back"
> "stubborn" -> "insists it's really his toy"
> [...]
Hey, I'm pretty good at picking words, huh? (Either that, or you really
do know Ben! :-). Maybe there is something to this exercise :-).
One other factor, of course, is that the original poster was commenting
on a Kindergarten application. Ben is currently 2.5, and most if his
behavior I don't consider unusual for that age. However, it's been
shown in double-blind experiments that both the teacher's preconception of
a student, and the student's opinion of him/herself can cause the
expected outcome to occur. From that standpoint, it might be advantageous
for the child to have words listed like "advanced", "mathematical", "musical",
etc.
The one attribute that I listed originally for Ben that really kind-of
amazes me, is "mechanically-inclined". It just blows me away, when I
see this kid, who won't sit still for more than 10 minutes, for any other
reason (including eating), sit silently for 1/2 hour or 45 minutes, patiently
examining how moving parts interact, or come off, something mechanical.
And he does it very methodically, always backtracking to make sure
previous pieces still go back together. He loves puzzles, too, and will
do them over and over again at a sitting. (Of course, someone else would
probably find it amazing that I can sit there silently, for the same
amount of time, just watching :-).
Laura McGinnis
Mark Da...@cornell.edu (1161)
> For some time now I've noted that descriptions of fully grown children
> by their parents usually is confined to five words or so:
> Location: City & State..........1-2 words
> Job/Profession..................1 or 2
> Employer........................1
> Married/Divorced................1 (yes or no)
> Number of children..............1
> Hardly any information is conveyed on what they are like;as in the ten
> word thing for kindergardeners.
>
Yes, but think how much more can be conveyed by recitation of those
simple,"objective" facts:
> Location: City & State..........1-2 words
Can indicate how close the family is, physically and sometimes possibly
> emothionally.
> Job/Profession..................1 or 2
Conveys a lot of meaning by the tone ("My daughter's an engineer!", "Moy
> son is a hamburger-flipper!")
Michele L.D. Gaudreault
>Stephanie Bodoff (s...@hplb.hpl.hp.com) wrote:
>>
>> >things on the application is to list ten words describing your
>> >child. I found this to be an interesting exercise when filling
>> >out the application for my older son.
>
>
>would substitute:
>
> independent for stubborn :-)
> vocal for loud :-)
> athletic for physical :-)
> self-assertive for aggressive :-)
>
They read:
independent, vocal, athletic, self-assertive
and think, "Hm, we've got a physically aggressive, loud,
stubborn kid on our hands." :)
Michele
Corey_Ly...@cup.portal.com
kindergarten
for my youngest son Adam. One of the more interesting
> >things on the application is to list ten words describing your
> >child. I found this to be an interesting exercise when filling
> >out the application for my older son. So far for Adam I have:
> >a charmer, energetic, enthusiastic, imaginative.
> I had to fill out a similar form for Marc (age 4) for pre-school. It
> was really hard to pick the right words. I wish I could remember exactl
> what I wrote down, but I think some of them were:
> curious, inquisitive, creative, polite, and I might have even said
logical
.
> Bruce Giese
>Interesting that both of these parents picked words with only positive
>connotations. Either these kids are too good to be true or the parents
>are censoring their perceptions.
I was really amused by this thread. My Paul just entered kindergarden
and it really didn't occur to me to ever put any words other than
positive. Let's see....
red-headed (doesn't that say it all?), literal (take me at my word's
face value every time), ever-questioning, tv-lover, computer
literate, FAST (well, I sometimes find it hard to keep up), funny!,
well-balanced overall (hope that I had something to do with that).
-=<< Corey L. Nelson >>=-
corey_ly...@cup.portal.com
Laura E. Floom
>> >I'm in the process of filling out our school's application for kindergarten for my youngest son Adam. One of the more interesting
>> >things on the application is to list ten words describing your
>> >child. I found this to be an interesting exercise when filling
>> >out the application for my older son. So far for Adam I have:
>> >a charmer, energetic, enthusiastic, imaginative.
>> I had to fill out a similar form for Marc (age 4) for pre-school. It
>> was really hard to pick the right words. I wish I could remember exactly
>> what I wrote down, but I think some of them were:
>> curious, inquisitive, creative, polite, and I might have even said logical.
>> Bruce Giese
>>Interesting that both of these parents picked words with only positive
>>connotations. Either these kids are too good to be true or the parents
>>are censoring their perceptions.
> We're cesoring their perceptions. I almost included some humor in
>my post which would have said, "which sounds a lot better than whining,
>clingy, bothersome, and moody". I wouldn't want to put negative things
>on a pre-school form.
> I assume they just want to know what to expect. If the kid shows
>different traits, it might be a bad sign. They also gave Marc a test
>of various skills back in January when he went onto the waiting list.
>He did very well because many of the things they asked were things that
>Marc and I do all the time, such as stacking blocks, finding out what's
>different between two similar pictures, finding which of several items is
>different, etc.
I recently had to do something like this for Jeffrey. It was part of a
form I filled out before he had his Speech&Language evaluation. Instead
of asking for 10 words, there was a list of about 30 words. You were
supposed to circle the ones that described your child. The sort of words
were argumentative, sweet, intelligent, stupid, dangerous, cuddly, mean,
cranky. Without thinking, I circled the words that described Jeffrey. Then
I realized I had only circled nice words, and just to be fair I circled
cranky - but made a small note in the margin that it was only when he was
tired or hungry.
Did they really want to know what Jeffrey was like, or how *I* perceived
him? My guess was the latter. If a parent circled only the negative
words, you know there has to be a problem, and it may not just be with
the parent. When we got the evaluation back, there was a section about
how Jeffrey and I interact. Some of what they said could have been from
me being present during the evaluation, some may have been from observations
that were done without me realizing it, but I bet quite a bit was taken
from what I said about Jeffrey.
My guess is the schools want to see if you have a good, loving relationship
with your child.
Laura Floom