Abusive Teen Spanking
Chris
Newsday
March 17, 1990, Saturday, ALL EDITIONS
SECTION: PART II; Pg. 2
LENGTH: 594 words
HEADLINE: Family Clinic;
Inappropriate Corporal Punishment
BYLINE: Dr. Roy Horowitz and Susan Duff
BODY:
WE'VE RECEIVED several letters concerning our response to a mother's
inquiry about punishing her 11 and 12-year-old sons and her 14-year-old
daughter by spanking them on their bare bottoms.
In our response, published in this column, we made recommendations
from current medical literature concerning discipline and punishment. We
were "looking at the forest and missed the trees."
The matter of spanking an older child on the bare bottom was not
addressed. As our readers have correctly pointed out to us, this raises
the issue of sexual abuse.
Spanking a bare-bottomed adolescent girl or boy (many cases of
sexual abuse involve boys) is definitely not appropriate and may very
easily be interpreted by the child, by child protection agencies and by
the courts as sex abuse. Parents who use this form of discipline place
their children and themselves at risk of being reported to Child
Protective Services, an agency that is mandated by law to investigate
reports of "suspicion of abuse or neglect."
Whether well-intentioned or not, for all concerned, spanking on the
bare bottom should be avoided. Each society has its own standards of
acceptable behavior for parents and children and these standards sometimes
change.
At present, in the United States, there are cases in which a grown
son has sued his parents for circumcising him as an infant; in other
cases, women have been brought to court for consuming alcohol while
pregnant (alcohol can cause permanent damage to the fetus).
The American Academy of Pediatrics considers child abuse a national
epidemic. Over 1 million cases are reported yearly and this number is
considered only a fraction of the cases actually taking place.
The ideal approach to child abuse is prevention. Having a child does
not automatically make one a good parent.
Education of our children and ourselves to the expectations and
responsibilities involved is essential, a major step in conquering the
problem of child abuse. Both the home and the school must increase their
involvement in the issue, with schools providing parenting classes for
children, as well as for their parents.
You can take a step toward helping prevent child abuse in your area
by proposing such classes as important elements of the curriculum in your
local schools and by initiating parent support groups.
Important: Not reporting child abuse is a form of abuse. If a
child's parent is involved in the abuse, who is left to be an advocate for
the child? The law allows anyone to report child abuse or suspicion of
child abuse, anonymously if preferred. Should you suspect a child of being
abused or neglected, call 1 (800) 342-3720 - and do it now!
Almost every parent has some stress in his or her life. Here are
some guidelines for keeping it under control:
Ask yourself what's really important in your life so you can set
goals and assign priorities. Plan, organize and schedule your time; not
planning leads to guilt, worry and more stress.
Regular exercise is a top stress-reliever and can also be your
symbolic commitment to a sane, well-balanced life. Find drug-free ways to
relax; take regular relaxation break, mini-vacations from stress and
worry.
Don't neglect your family; set time aside on a regular basis. Learn
to play with your children and socialize with your own friends.
Find a support system of friends both involved and uninvolved in
your work. Focus on the process of living, not only the goal, so you can
put personal achievement and success into proper perspective.
Seek professional help when you need it.
Chris
August 19, 1997 Tuesday, FINAL / LORAIN COUNTY
SECTION: METRO; Pg. 1B
LENGTH: 508 words
HEADLINE: DAD COULD GET JAIL FOR 'WHUPPING';
PLEADS GUILTY IN BARE-BOTTOMED SPANKING CASE
BYLINE: By STEPHEN HUDAK; PLAIN DEALER REPORTER
DATELINE: ELYRIA
BODY:
Use the rod and you could go to jail.
Raymond Boyle could get two years in prison after pleading guilty
yesterday to child endangering for spanking his teenage daughters with
their pants down.
Gary A. Crow, executive director of Lorain County Children Services,
said the case shows how blurry the line can be between discipline and
abuse.
Ohio law permits use of reasonable corporal punishment, but
prosecutors said Boyle's methods were a mental risk to his daughters, 15
and 13.
"It's not that he administered corporal punishment, but how," said
Lorain County Prosecutor Gregory A. White. "He was way over the line."
Amherst police Detective Alex Molnar said Boyle, 39, required his
daughters to strip naked from the waist down before spanking them last
year.
Officials said one girl was spanked three times, with the first in
January 1995 and the last in April 1996; and the other was spanked in
April 1996.
Molnar said they confided the humiliation to a school counselor
after the April incident.
Molnar said the girls were punished by their father repeatedly for
minor things, including misbehaving on the school bus or disobeying his
rules.
Boyle pleaded guilty yesterday rather than go to trial.
Prosecutors had planned to call a psychologist to testify that
spanking the girls while they were nude posed a substantial risk to their
mental health.
White said he doubted that Boyle would have been charged in Lorain
County Common Pleas Court had he spanked the girls with their clothes on.
Although neither Boyle nor his lawyer, Michael Boylan, returned
calls yesterday, court documents say Boyle did not touch either girl.
In an interview with Molnar, Boyle said he "whupped" his daughters
with a belt, requiring that they strip because it added humiliation to the
punishment.
He conceded this was wrong, the documents say.
Children Services said Boyle no longer has contact with the
girls.Crow, the director of the agency, said parents often try to disguise
child abuse as discipline.
"Ninety-five percent of the time we see child abuse, it's explained
as an accident or [parents say,] 'The child was out of control. I was
disciplining my child, and that's within my right,' Crow said.
While many parents and pediatricians consider corporal punishment an
acceptable tool of discipline, new research calls it heavy-handed and
ineffective.
The American Medical Association last week published research that
suggests spanking has harmful long-term effects, including increasing
aggression.
It concluded "spare the rod, spoil the child" was a myth.
Patti-Jo Burtnett, spokeswoman for Lorain County Children Services,
said the agency suggests parents try nonphysical alternatives, like
timeout.
"If you're unsure of where the line is, if what you do leaves a
mark, hurts or humiliates, then you probably shouldn't do it," she said.
Boyle, who was free yesterday on a personal bond, will be sentenced
by Common Pleas Judge Thomas Janas in about six weeks, after he is
interviewed by the County Probation Department.
Alfred Lord Tennisball
: Newsday
: March 17, 1990, Saturday, ALL EDITIONS
: SECTION: PART II; Pg. 2
: LENGTH: 594 words
: HEADLINE: Family Clinic;
: Inappropriate Corporal Punishment
: BYLINE: Dr. Roy Horowitz and Susan Duff
: BODY:
: WE'VE RECEIVED several letters concerning our response to a mother's
: inquiry about punishing her 11 and 12-year-old sons and her 14-year-old
: daughter by spanking them on their bare bottoms.
: In our response, published in this column, we made recommendations
: from current medical literature concerning discipline and punishment. We
: were "looking at the forest and missed the trees."
: The matter of spanking an older child on the bare bottom was not
: addressed. As our readers have correctly pointed out to us, this raises
: the issue of sexual abuse.
I had a counsin once who, while attending high school, in Arkansas got
paddled by a teacher once, on the bare bottom. In Arkansas, bare-bottom
spanking is permitted. They gave him a choice, either take a bare-bottom
paddling, or be thrown out of school. I am a USA/Australia dual national
(Aussie mother, American father). This is no joke!!! Teachers/administrators
are allowed to administer that kind of punishment on students in Arkansas.j
I don't know about any of the other U.S. states, but such punishment is
acceptable, in Arkansas.
robinT
I think it is more acceptable in the south. In Texas CP is very common.
I am in high school and I'd say about half my friends get whippings from
time to time at home, and paddling is used a lot in school.
Whether its sexual abuse probably depends on who is giving it. I was at
a sleep over party when I was in 10th grade and we got caught sneaking
out. We all got paddled, and even though it was bare bottomed, since it
was given by the mother of one of the girls, I wouldn't call it sexual
abuse, even though it was really embarassing and really hurt. If it had
been given by the father that would have been suspicious, but this
mother was just really mad at us and wanted to teach a lesson (which she
did). She's not a lesbian or anything, and I don't think she got a big
thrill out of seeing our rear ends.
Clayton E. Cramer
> I had a counsin once who, while attending high school, in Arkansas got
> paddled by a teacher once, on the bare bottom. In Arkansas, bare-bottom
> spanking is permitted. They gave him a choice, either take a bare-bottom
> paddling, or be thrown out of school. I am a USA/Australia dual national
> (Aussie mother, American father). This is no joke!!! Teachers/administrators
> are allowed to administer that kind of punishment on students in Arkansas.j
> I don't know about any of the other U.S. states, but such punishment is
> acceptable, in Arkansas.
Lots of things are acceptable in Arkansas that aren't okay in the rest of the
U.S. The proof is in the White House.
Susan Randall
I do not spank my children ages 14 and 17.
Because, unlike most parents today, I taught my children at an early age
to respect authority. You guys REALLY need to read John Rosemonds book
on spanking. It is insightful. Listen to those who have successfully
raised children. The advise you receive will make your life and that of
your children much less complicated.
P.S. The reason that I don't have to spank is because my children KNOW
that if they cross the line of acceptable behavior I WILL DICIPLINE.
rey...@miavx1.muohio.edu
> Alfred Lord Tennisball wrote:
>>
-snipped some stuff-
> Whether its sexual abuse probably depends on who is giving it. I was at
I'm curious about this. What difference does it make if the spanking is
administered in exactly the same way?
> a sleep over party when I was in 10th grade and we got caught sneaking
> out. We all got paddled, and even though it was bare bottomed, since it
> was given by the mother of one of the girls, I wouldn't call it sexual
> abuse, even though it was really embarassing and really hurt. If it had
> been given by the father that would have been suspicious, but this
> mother was just really mad at us and wanted to teach a lesson (which she
> did). She's not a lesbian or anything, and I don't think she got a big
> thrill out of seeing our rear ends.
Women don't have to be lesbians to molest little girls. Men don't have to be
gay to molest little boys. Child molestation can happen with any adult of any
sexual orientation. So, please explain why the exact same situation with the
exact same punishment delivered in the exact same manner would have been
suspicious if given by the father, yet when given by the mother, is above
suspicion.
Thanks,
Sidelia
Rick
could you differentiate?
Is "DICIPLINE" (sic) as used below a synonym for "punish"? If not,
then could you differentiate?
Susan Randall wrote (in part):
> Because, unlike most parents today, I taught my children at an early age
> to respect authority.
rey...@miavx1.muohio.edu
> an example, in our high school when a girl gets paddled, its done by the
> female P.E. coach, becuase the vice principle is a man. Its not because
> a man would hit too hard, since the vice principle is relatively a whimp
> and the female caoch is a triathlete who is known to give extremely hard
> paddlings. She has no mercy at all. I'd much rather take a whipping
> from most men than her.
I'm sure this is perfectly true. However, it doesn't answer the question of
WHY its so important that a woman give the spanking. SHE could very well be
turned on by a girl's fanny. SHE could be a child molester.
> For another example, I don't really care if a 35 year old woman sees me
> in my birthday suit in the locker room or shower, but I would if it was
> a 35 year man. If a 35 year old woman paddles a 16 or 17 year old girl
> and decides to do it on the bare bottom, its probably so it will hurt
> more and be embarrassing, not becuase its sexual. But if a 35 year old
> man told me to undress from the waist down and bend over and raise my
> fanny in the air, it probably would be sexual, unless he was gay. See
> what I mean?
Nope. I don't. You are telling me how you feel, and I respect that; however,
you are not telling me WHY it would be sexual for a man to have you do this and
WHY it would not be sexual if a woman did it. Is it sexual for a male
gynecologist to peer into your genitalia and not sexual if a female
gynecologist does it? How is this different from a female and male teacher
doing THEIR job (if their job is to administer bare butt spankings)?
Again, I understand that social training tells us that men and women need to be
segregated whenever they are naked. I just don't think we should be so sure
this societal "rule" should be relied on to protect us from any real threat.
Sidelia
Rupa K. Bose
>
> Again, I understand that social training tells us that men and women need to be
> segregated whenever they are naked. I just don't think we should be so sure
> this societal "rule" should be relied on to protect us from any real threat.
>
> Sidelia
Perhaps it depends on what 'any real threat' is. I personally think
spanking teenagers, clothed or otherwise, is distasteful, especially if
it's someone other than the parent doing the spanking. I would suspect
*anyone* who tried (and I hope they wouldn't succeed) to spank either of
my kids of attempted abuse.
However...isolating the act into its components: there's the physical
pain of the spanking; there's the embarrassment; and then there's the
added fear (embarrassment?) that perhaps the spanker is getting pleasure
from the act -- whether or not it is true. If the spankee *believes*
that if the spanker is of the same gender, this last cannot be true,
then the spankee is actually protected.
Assuming that you're not implying that the spanking is a prelude to
further abuse, in which case of course the point would be whether such
abuse occurred or not.
Rupa
robinT
Is it sexual for a male gynecologist to peer into your genitalia and
not sexual if a female gynecologist does it?
There does seem to be a difference. If I go to man doctor and he does
any kind of private examine, there is always a female nurse in the room.
But then if, for example, this nurse gives me a shot in butt, she
doesn't need a witness in the room just because I'm going to drop my
pants. For another example, if a female doctor does a private exam on a
teenage girl, she usually won't call in a nurse--and definitely not a
male one.
>
> Again, I understand that social training tells us that men and women need to be
> segregated whenever they are naked. I just don't think we should be so sure
> this societal "rule" should be relied on to protect us from any real threat.
>
So then you would never undress or take a shower in a women's locker
room because there is some chance a lesbian may check you out? Or you
would feel just as comfortable taking a shower in the boy's locker room
as the girls?
Kevin J. Krumwiede
says...
> I'm sure this is perfectly true. However, it doesn't answer the question of
> WHY its so important that a woman give the spanking. SHE could very well be
> turned on by a girl's fanny. SHE could be a child molester.
This begs the question, Why is it necessary to have someone of the same
gender administer a spanking, if there is no sexual element? I think the
clear answer is that adults who spank are fully aware of the sexual
element; they simply refuse to acknowledge it, because if they did they
could no longer shield from their conscience the fact that this beloved
tradition isn't such a healthy tradition after all.