Breastfeeding and Squeamish Husbands
Courtney
I've been lurking on this newsgroup for months, reading all of the
posts, but not chipping in too much.
I do have a specific question/concern, however. My husband is a really
lovely and supportive person. He is British and I'm American (we met in
Ireland). I breastfed my first daughter (8 1/2) without even a second
thought about what I was going to do. My husband is really freaked out
about this whole breast-feeding thing, however, with our new baby (due
in February). He's never known anyone to breast feed, and to him it
will just be awkward and unnecessary. He was like, "So let me get this
straight, we're going to be at my mum's, sitting in the living room, and
the baby will get hungry, and you'll feed her with your breast?"
Incredulous.
I told him I'd like him to read about the benefits of breastfeeding, so
he is informed and knows why I have made this choice. I also told him
that I need his support, because it is very important to me.
Are there any others out there with husbands who were freaked out by the
concept of breastfeeding? I'm not implying that this is a cultural
thing, but where he grew up, he was just never exposed to it.
Thanks.
Courtney
Kavvy
got over it on his own once the baby was actually here. He was extremely
uncomfortable with nursing in public and around his family. I started by
nursing in front of my husband around *my* family. And then around his mom.
By about 4-5 months he was like - nurse that kid if it keeps him quiet, even
if we were in the *real* public. You get more looks/attention with a
screaming baby then with a nursing baby. He also got sick of being left
alone while I went off to nurse. I continued to nurse in private if his
brothers were around. I wasn't real comfortable with that anyway because I
knew that they would be so uncomfortable. To make a long story short - I
guess I'd give him the info on nutritional benefits to get him on board
about nursing but would wait to see if the apprehension with the actual act
will work itself out once the baby is actually here. I know my dh was just
amazed at the nursing relationship once he saw it up close. Good luck -
Nikki (mama to Hunter, 20 months and EDD 4/16/04)
Courtney wrote in message <3A52B8E3...@zenn.net>...
Amanda
husband has decided that he doesn't want me to breastfeed this time.
aparently it detracts from his sexual enjoyment. Well I told him were he
could go.
Love Amanda
Courtney <cour...@zenn.net> wrote in message
news:3A52B8E3...@zenn.net...
jennifer
online links, some of which are very powerful (stats on bf'ing, personal
experiences, etc.). If you want any of them, just let me know. Also, there are
several books that he might benefit from. (So That's What They're For! comes
to mind first, others here may have other suggestions.)
Here are two links that I have that are geared specifically toward Dad:
http://www.themestream.com/gspd_browse/browse/view_article.gsp?c_id=212559
Good luck! Just give him time...Once the baby arrives and he sees how easy and
natural breastfeeding is, he'll be a convert. :)
jennifer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Updated12/6/00!
Visit Enzo Zane's Page: http://members.aol.com/jeniany/birthstory.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mothering a son to grow into a good, caring man is like promoting peace and
goodness on earth! ~Maribeth
Corrie
lot to increase his understanding and support. He was, however,
disappointed that there were no "live models" :) I am still bf my son
at one year, and my husband has been terrific. Check with your local
hospital or lactation consultant to see if you can find a class. Good
luck.
Corrie
Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/
mgord...@my-deja.com
fluids before we had kids (I mean, you should have seen him the first
time he changed a poopy diaper or got peed upon - total freak-out). He
didn't say too much about breastfeeding, but I KNOW he had never known
anyone who had done it, or seen it. Bless his heart, he kept his trap
shut, especially when he saw what pregnancy and childbirth involved
(i.e. he was in AWE of what it involved physically for me, and couldn't
believe what I went through to produce our children). So, he kept his
lip zipped while I struggled to master breastfeeding because he knew
how important it was to me, and also because he knew that part of my
motivation was to prevent some of the health problems both of us had in
our backgrounds - such as asthma, allergy, Type 1 diabetes, breast
cancer etc.
Within a very short time, he relaxed about the whole thing, once he saw
that I was able to nurse discretely if the occasion or location
demanded it (i.e. vanish into ante room at a family members funeral, or
cover myself with a shawl if some older relative was present in our
home). Our LLL chapter was also a bit different than most in that
husbands were welcome at many meetings, and quite a few came and talked
about their feelings concerning their families and breastfeeding.
Talking to other dads was a big help for him - since he was able to see
that it was totally normal, no big deal - and not something wierd or
far out or lewd.
I really think having children can change your perspective on physical
things. I also think my husband came in short order to appreciate the
fact that me breastfeeding meant that he got to sleep and not get up to
warm up bottles at 2 am. Practicality wins the day.
Mary G.
Kavvy
mgord...@my-deja.com wrote in message <92vfo1$53b$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>...
>My husband is a very fastidious guy who had a real "thing" about body
>fluids before we had kids (I mean, you should have seen him the first
>time he changed a poopy diaper or got peed upon - total freak-out). He
>didn't say too much about breastfeeding, but I KNOW he had never known
>anyone who had done it, or seen it. Bless his heart, he kept his trap
>shut, especially when he saw what pregnancy and childbirth involved
>(i.e. he was in AWE of what it involved physically for me, and couldn't
>believe what I went through to produce our children).
This is my dh too. After witnessing labor and delivery he was at my beck
and call for weeks :-). The cool thing was that even though he is really
quiet I know he truly 'appreciated' all that I would go through without a
complaint to bring him his wonderful son.
>I also think my husband came in short order to appreciate the
>fact that me breastfeeding meant that he got to sleep and not get up to
>warm up bottles at 2 am. Practicality wins the day.
No kidding. My dh is now the biggest fan of breastfeeding you've ever seen.
He'd be happy if I nursed till the kid was 5 just so he could say - Well, I
guess he just wants to nurse <shrugging shoulders>, here ya go mom :-)
Nikki
Randy & Carlene Rummery
Amanda <ama...@powerup.com.au> wrote in message news:3a52d9a6@grissom...
> I breast fed baby number 1 and 2 and now that I am expecting number three
my
> husband has decided that he doesn't want me to breastfeed this time.
> aparently it detracts from his sexual enjoyment. Well I told him were he
> could go.
>
> Love Amanda
>
Good for you!
See how much sexual enjoyment he gets out of not having sex! lol...
Take care hon.
Carlene
EDD 02-19-01
Daisy Duke
>concept of breastfeeding? I'm not implying that this is a cultural
>thing, but where he grew up, he was just never exposed to it.
>
>Thanks.
>Courtney
>
>
My husband isn't freaked out by breastfeeding itself......he definitely wants
me to do it......but he feels uncomfortable with the thought of me doing it in
front of anyone but him.
laurie
edd 3/19/01
Jessica Lavarnway
>concept of breastfeeding? I'm not implying that this is a cultural
>thing, but where he grew up, he was just never exposed to it.
were breastfed) and argued constantly with me about it during my
pregnancy. He swore that he could not touch me for the duration of
however long I wanted to nurse. The first time he noticed breastmilk
dripping out [which started in my fifth month so I suppose technically
it was colostrum], *he* went to go throw up.
I was unenthusiastic about it myself -- among other, more personal
reasons, I wanted my body BACK to myself soon after pregnancy. I love
my daughters, but I have been eagerly awaiting having my body back
entirely to myself for months on end.
I asked here about doing it for a little while and switching. A lot
of people said a breastfed baby would be unlikely to take a bottle,
and the idea of pumping my breastmilk had *me*, quite literally,
vomiting.
My older daughter was bottle fed -- she started out life as my
stepdaughter, so I had no say in it at the time. She really has
thrived, and my younger daughter is gaining weight rapidly on formula.
Update on Julianne (off-topic, of course): She should be coming home
tomorrow. If they don't release her, I'm going to sign her out AMA,
damn it, because she's been "under observation" for what seems like
days on end. No treatment is happening, she is gaining weight, she is
doing fine, and she should be here with her family, not sitting in a
hospital room.
Jess
Jessica Lavarnway
Alicia (6 August 1997) and Julianne (26 December 2000)
j...@lavarnway.mv.com
http://www.mv.com/ipusers/lavarnway/jal/
"I never enjoyed motherhood until I became realistic
about it. Until I learned to say, 'I am tired and I
am going to bed. I'll get your brother off the
roof tomorrow.'" - Erma Bombeck
Daisy Duke
>tomorrow. If they don't release her, I'm going to sign her out AMA,
>damn it, because she's been "under observation" for what seems like
>days on end. No treatment is happening, she is gaining weight, she is
>doing fine, and she should be here with her family, not sitting in a
>hospital room.
>
>Jess
>
Jess.......why would you sign her out against medical advice? Surely with
insurance companies nowadays a good physician would not keep a preterm infant
hospitalized any longer than necessary.
I know you didn't ask for opinions and I'm not flaming you, but I think you
should leave that decision to the experts. You said yourself that at this time
in her life, Julianne doens't even know if you're there or at home. There are
lots of reasons you may not be aware of to keep a 5 weeks early baby under
observation.
Anyway, I hope they send her home and that's not an issue.
laurie
edd 3/19/01
Circe
mugsy...@aol.com (Daisy Duke) wrote:
> >Are there any others out there with husbands who were freaked out by
the
> >concept of breastfeeding? I'm not implying that this is a cultural
> >thing, but where he grew up, he was just never exposed to it.
> >
> definitely wants me to do it......but he feels uncomfortable with
> the thought of me doing it in front of anyone but him.
>
husbands is to take a breastfeeding class together. You will get to see
photos of mothers breastfeeding infants as well as trying it yourself
with a doll. One thing both your husbands will discover during these
classes is that you don't have to be exposed to BF; in fact, they may
even realize that they've seen mothers breastfeeding in public in the
past but simply thought the mother was cuddling a sleeping baby. (Can't
tell you how many men have come up to admire my babies when they were
tiny and come to the sudden realization that the baby wasn't sleeping
in my arms, but breastfeeding <g>!)
My husband was *thrilled* that I wanted to breastfeed. He'd fed his
niece and nephew formula and thought formula was pretty yucky. But he'd
never been exposed to breastfeeding (none of his sibs nor any of his
nieces/nephews were breastfed), so he didn't konw what it would look
like. At first, I think he was kind of concerned that I do it in public
in a way that was very discreet, but since I've now been nursing
continuously for almost 3.5 years, he's come to realize that a) it
doesn't show much in the first place and b) if someone else doesn't
like it, it's they're problem, not ours.
--
Be well, Barbara (Julian [7/22/97] and Aurora's [7/19/99] mom)
Check out our website at http://www.dreamwater.net/guavaln
Jessica Lavarnway
I was mostly just ranting there. It's so FRUSTRATING.
They've had her on vital signs monitors for days. I've asked them
time and time again *why is she here* and the doctors just say, "I
just want to observe her an extra day."
She's doing what she's supposed to be doing. She never vomits
anymore. She's gaining weight. Her bilirubin is down. Her iron
levels are fine. Her vital signs have been stable since birth. Her
heart murmur is gone.
I am exhausted. I'm at the hospital more often than not, I'm starting
to completely lose my mind, I've found myself arguing with Alicia over
completely stupid things and making both of us cry, and I want my
daughter home. Jason has to go back to work in a couple of days, I've
never taken care of a newborn alone before - and he has, let alone a
premature infant, I'm terrified that I'll sleep through a feeding that
she needs, my incision is starting to hurt again, I've got a
mysterious rash that started when my milk came in, I'm *STILL*
engorged, and I'm going through having my younger daughter in the
hospital for days on end of "observation"? She's been observed.
She's fine. Let her come home, damn it.
No, I won't sign her out AMA. But it's tempting because she sure as
hell isn't having problems, or issues, or anything, except for being
small. She's not going to get any BIGGER from hospitalization, that's
from time. Even her temperature regulation is fine now, which is
amazing considering she has no brown fat.
I'm sick of sitting at home and losing my mind with worry. I'm sick
of calling the doctor every day, after they've told me for three days
that they will discharge her "tomorrow". I'm sick of sitting in a
hospital room with some stupid Impressionist print and a rocking
chair, holding my daughter while weeping my eyes out.
Jess
Jessica Lavarnway
Alicia (6 August 1997) and Julianne (26 December 2000)
j...@lavarnway.mv.com
http://www.mv.com/ipusers/lavarnway/jal/
"I never enjoyed motherhood until I became realistic
about it. Until I learned to say, 'I am tired and I
am going to bed. I'll get your brother off the
roof tomorrow.'" - Erma Bombeck
Enid Karr
Jessica Lavarnway wrote:
I asked here about doing it for a little while and switching. A lot
> of people said a breastfed baby would be unlikely to take a bottle,
Did anyone actually say this? Some breastfed babies will not
take a bottle (including both of mine) but I think it's erroneous
to say a breastfed baby would be _unlikely_ to take a bottle.
As far as I know, the vast majority of them _will_ take a bottle.
Enid
Kathy Cole
>
> Update on Julianne (off-topic, of course): She should be coming home
> tomorrow. If they don't release her, I'm going to sign her out AMA,
> damn it, because she's been "under observation" for what seems like
> days on end. No treatment is happening, she is gaining weight, she is
> doing fine, and she should be here with her family, not sitting in a
> hospital room.
I know you're frustrated, but I'd suggest keeping her in until the
neonatologists are comfortable with her being discharged. You really
don't want to have to have her readmitted if she genuinely does go home
too early.
Besides, trust me, bank all the sleep you can until she comes home.
--
Kathy (Pascoe) Cole ~ kco...@ford.com (w) / ka...@scconsult.com (h)
Ellen Hrebeniuk
(Jessica Lavarnway) wrote:
> >Are there any others out there with husbands who were freaked out by the
> >concept of breastfeeding? I'm not implying that this is a cultural
> >thing, but where he grew up, he was just never exposed to it.
> My husband was exposed to it growing up (all of his siblings and he
> were breastfed) and argued constantly with me about it during my
> pregnancy. He swore that he could not touch me for the duration of
> however long I wanted to nurse. The first time he noticed breastmilk
> dripping out [which started in my fifth month so I suppose technically
> it was colostrum], *he* went to go throw up.
Men are sissies. Hope he's better with nappy changes than that.
I'v been leaking colostrum since I started lurking on
misc.kids.breastfeeding at 20 weeks. My DH goes "Ewww!" if he sees me
leaking (I prefer to go braless at home in hot weather) and then I make
rude comparisons about that icky stuff that *he* produces that causes
babies.
I found a story on the www where a woman "shot" her DH with milk when he
tried having a grope while she was bfing. I showed it to Malcolm and
now he doesn't kiss my breasts as often -- the poor man is frightened
that I can fire at will too! It hasn't occurred to him yet that
colostrum isn't as copious as breast milk!
Chookie
Sydney
Jessica Lavarnway
His other problems are cleaning up vomit and cleaning up mucus. My
big problems are cleaning up diarrhea and animal vomit and animal
feces, so thankfully our revulsions are separate.
>I found a story on the www where a woman "shot" her DH with milk when he
>tried having a grope while she was bfing.
That happened to my husband as a kid, actually.
My mother-in-law nursed all her kids -- she didn't want to either but
my father-in-law refused to pay for formula. At one point as a kid,
Jason was misbehaving [which he did CONSTANTLY, from what I've been
given to understand] while his mom was nursing his sister across the
room. After ignoring a few requests to stop, well . . .
You know how you do with a cat that's pissing you off? With the spray
bottle full of water when they start to claw the furniture or
whatever?
I can tell you that Jason definitely stopped whatever the hell it was
he was doing when he got hit with a good shot of breastmilk from
across the room.
Jessica Lavarnway
Speaking of which, my husband and I had sort of initially hoped for a
boy, since we already had our little girl. After I found out it was
another daughter at 26 weeks or so, I called him from the hospital and
he sounded a little down at the news.
When I got home, I was prepared to talk to him about it. He seemed
twice as chipper as he had when I initially talked to him, though. I
asked him what had changed.
He said, "Well, I was thinking about it . . . and *I* was a hellion."
To his mind, a daughter is less likely to:
* plug the neighbor's creek and cause flooding damage to their
basement
* throw rocks at street lights, trying to break them
* shoot her best friend with a BB gun
* do other things that necessitate telephone calls and/or visits from
the local police
I think, personally, that he's got a point.
H Schinske
>> My husband was exposed to it growing up (all of his siblings and he
>> were breastfed) and argued constantly with me about it during my
>> pregnancy. He swore that he could not touch me for the duration of
>> however long I wanted to nurse. The first time he noticed breastmilk
>> dripping out [which started in my fifth month so I suppose technically
>> it was colostrum], *he* went to go throw up.
Good Lord, Jessica, is this really true? Why the heck didn't you say so before?
Or did I miss it? I mean, I know you said something about him being squeamish
on the subject, but this is way beyond normal squeam.
--Helen
Daisy Duke
>No, I won't sign her out AMA. But it's tempting because she sure as
>hell isn't having problems, or issues, or anything, except for being
>small. She's not going to get any BIGGER from hospitalization, that's
>from time. Even her temperature regulation is fine now, which is
>amazing considering she ha
>no brown fat.
>
>I'm sick of sitting at home and losing my mind with worry. I'm sick
>of calling the doctor every day, after they've told me for three days
>that they will discharge her "tomorrow". I'm sick of sitting in a
>hospital room with some stupid
>Impressionist print and a rocking
>chair, holding my daughter while weeping my eyes out.
>
>Jess
Aw Jess,
Hang in there. You are doing great, really you are. You have so much going on
right now............you can't be superwoman! I can't even imagine how much
stress you're under, and I'm sure you're dying to have Julianne home. I'm glad
you wont really sign her out AMA......I didn't think you would. :) And it
sounds like maybe they'll release her really soon anyway..........
So you sleep through a feeding. So what? She'll be ok. I'm sure every mom out
there had done that at least once.
You'll be fine.........and she'll be home with you before you know it!
laurie
edd 3/19/01
Ice@arcadia.com Shell
> >tomorrow. If they don't release her, I'm going to sign her out AMA,
> >damn it, because she's been "under observation" for what seems like
> >days on end. No treatment is happening, she is gaining weight, she is
> >doing fine, and she should be here with her family, not sitting in a
> >hospital room.
> >
> >Jess
Please tell I'm reading this wrong.
-Your little premature baby, who needs all the help she can get, can benefit
healthwise GREATLY by you feeding her breastmilk but you are refusing. (For
sellfish reasons)
-You have been complaining because *you* feel uncomfortable, while your
daughter wants what you are complaining about.
-and now you want to go against Doctors advice because it's inconveniencing
you.
Way to go mom!!
My God. This poor child.
I normally would not post such a harsh message, but some people shouldn't be
mothers.
--
~Shell (Lady underscore Arcadia at go dot com)
Mommy to Justin born on July 12, 2000
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/t/tigerbaby/
Ice@arcadia.com Shell
It seems by this message you are breastfeeding.
--
~Shell (Lady underscore Arcadia at go dot com)
Mommy to Justin born on July 12, 2000
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/t/tigerbaby/
Enid Karr <ka...@world.std.com> wrote in message
news:3A538A04...@world.std.com...
Chele
> I normally would not post such a harsh message, but some people shouldn't
be
> mothers.
Please. Get OVER yourself.
If this is the worst thing imaginable, then thank your lucky stars...you
have lived a sheltered life, my dear.
Chele
Ellen Hrebeniuk
(Jessica Lavarnway) wrote:
> >Men are sissies. Hope he's better with nappy changes than that.
> Oh, yeah. He's done all that, and actually isn't bad.
>
> His other problems are cleaning up vomit and cleaning up mucus. My
> big problems are cleaning up diarrhea and animal vomit and animal
> feces, so thankfully our revulsions are separate.
I have a feeling you are both going to have to develop stronger
stomachs. I can just picture the two of you when Julie has a gastric
attack -- one dealing with one end, the other dealing with the other!
Better hope it doesn't happen on a working day!
Seriously, I'm sorry that your DH felt so offended by your colostrum --
it's a bit insensitive to you, I think. It can't have made you feel too
happy about your body (and who needs that during pregnancy?). Besides,
colostrum is (a) a normal consequence of pregnancy (and thus, he's
responsible for it), (b) sterile and (c) totally outside your control.
It's not as if he found you picking your nose.
And as if DHs never produce any disgusting substances?
Chookie
Sydney
Ice@arcadia.com Shell
Chele <seac...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:k4P46.120573$x6.54...@news2.rdc2.tx.home.com...
>
>
> > I normally would not post such a harsh message, but some people
shouldn't
> be
> > mothers.
>
> Please. Get OVER yourself.
No thanks.
> If this is the worst thing imaginable, then thank your lucky stars...you
> have lived a sheltered life, my dear.
If spending 2 months in a hospital, living in 3 abuse shelters, having my
own father kick me out of the house at 15 saying, "I don't love you, your
mother doesn't love you, no one loves you and no one ever will.", getting
sent to England at 16 to live by myself, and have to fend for myself, if
this is living a sheltered life, then I need to get out more.
Neglect is something that I lived everyday. I do not smile kindly at others
who neglect their children. If Jess hasn't and I am mistaken then I am VERY
VERY VERY sorry.
But... I'll go back living my obviously sheltered life.
Chele
> Neglect is something that I lived everyday. I do not smile kindly at
others
> who neglect their children. If Jess hasn't and I am mistaken then I am
VERY
> VERY VERY sorry.
>
> But... I'll go back living my obviously sheltered life.
If you can compare formula feeding to the abuse you have apparently
experienced (and alot of us here have, btw..not just you) then something is
wrong with you. I M H O
Chele
Chele
> But... I'll go back living my obviously sheltered life.
Blah blah...
Chele
Jessica Lavarnway
>who neglect their children. If Jess hasn't and I am mistaken then I am VERY
>VERY VERY sorry.
For one thing, when I talk of the discharge of my daughter from the
hospital:
* She has not seen a neonatologist once. She has seen an on-call
pediatrician, who changes daily.
* She has not had any tests or procedures done in days.
* She has been repeatedly *left* under observation. When I ask what
"observation" entails, I have had it explained to me as follows:
"Vital signs & weight" Shit, I'm an EMT. I can take her vitals every
four hours and report them to the hospital or the pediatrician if they
go down. Give me paramters and I'll be happy to do so. I'd be happy
to either find a way to weigh her at home or bring her to the hospital
for this.
In my frustrated, pissed-off opinion, she is getting passed like the
proverbial buck because no pediatrician wants their name signed on a
discharge order in case something DOES go wrong. She's never seen the
same damned pediatrician twice, either, so they can't monitor what's
normal for her.
Yes, it's friggin' inconvenient to go to the hospital. Would I object
if she clearly needed hospitalization? Hell no! What IS happening is
that my HMO is paying $500 a day for the most expensive babysitter
imaginable. What else is happening is that my three year old
daughter, husband, and I are all sleep deprived, cranky, and running
to the hospital constantly. I haven't eaten a full meal since I was
discharged from the hospital and am calling the pediatric ward every
hour or so just to make sure that she's all right.
If you have this image of my going into the NICU, however, going into
the NICU and removing catheters and central lines from my child who is
fighting for life, you're right, that's medical neglect. You'd also
be right that it's selfish and stupid and arrogant.
But the idea of my daughter going home from a situation in which she's
being "observed" for days on end for no explicible reason -- and you
can believe that I've asked the physicians and nurses who have seen
her -- does not seem all that stupid. I'm not going to do it anyway,
just in case that they're right and I'm wrong and there is a reason
other than their fear of a malpractice suit, but it's frustrating as
all hell.
But, no, I am not nursing her. She has gained weight steadily on
formula and has no tolerance problems. She also, importantly, has no
damned medical problems either. Her pediatricians have assured me
that she is doing very well on formula.
The reason I don't nurse that I posted publicly here sure as hell
wasn't my only reason, and I have more personal reasons as well that
affect me on this point.
If you want to hit me up with neglect, this extended situation has
ended up with BOTH of my kids getting their needs, quite literally,
fucked with. My older daughter is having her schedule thrown entirely
out of order, having two parents who are worried and preoccupied, and
a general lack of attention despite our best efforts to spend time
with her. My younger daughter is being left in a situation where she
is getting a lot less attention and care than she would at home.
I am angry as all hell, you can believe that. I don't relish doing
this to my kids and until Julie's doctors release her, I have no other
choice unless I sign her out AMA. Under these circumstances, I assume
you can see why it's tempting as all hell.
Jess
Jessica Lavarnway
Alicia (6 August 1997) and Julianne (26 December 2000)
j...@lavarnway.mv.com
http://www.mv.com/ipusers/lavarnway/jal/
"I never enjoyed motherhood until I became realistic
about it. Until I learned to say, 'I am tired and I
am going to bed. I'll get your brother off the
roof tomorrow.'" - Erma Bombeck
Sarajoyo
>husband has decided that he doesn't want me to breastfeed this time.
>aparently it detracts from his sexual enjoyment. Well I told him were he
>could go.
LOL Amanda; I wasn't expecting that comment, and I just abouted snorted Diet
Coke all over the keyboard. Hope your dh decides to change his mind!
-Sara:)
Kim
Boy are you in for the shock of your life when you get that little baby
home! If you are losing your mind now I cant imagine how stressed you
will be when she comes home. I hope you are looking into therapy.
Kim
Kim
>
> >Men are sissies. Hope he's better with nappy changes than that.
> Oh, yeah. He's done all that, and actually isn't bad.
>
> His other problems are cleaning up vomit and cleaning up mucus. My
> big problems are cleaning up diarrhea and animal vomit and animal
> feces, so thankfully our revulsions are separate.
>
> >I found a story on the www where a woman "shot" her DH with milk when he
> >tried having a grope while she was bfing.
> That happened to my husband as a kid, actually.
>
> My mother-in-law nursed all her kids -- she didn't want to either but
> my father-in-law refused to pay for formula. At one point as a kid,
> Jason was misbehaving [which he did CONSTANTLY, from what I've been
> given to understand] while his mom was nursing his sister across the
> room. After ignoring a few requests to stop, well . . .
What a bunch of horse doo doo Jessica. You just love making up these
ridiculous stories dont you! Get off the computer and take care of your
children and clean your house. Oh yeah, smoke your cigarettes, eat your
candy bars, drink your beer and take some valium while your at it cuz
youre gonna need it.
Kim
Kim
I find it funny that so many guys are disgusted by breastmilk but will
perform oral sex and expect it on them too. Strange.
Kim
>
> Chookie
> Sydney
Kim
I think that shell was referring to Jessica wanting to take her baby out
of the hospital AMA. She has serious problems if she thinks her life
will get better once the baby is home. Shes got it made right now and I
think she is starting to crack under the pressure of not knowing what to
do with a newborn and other sibling. I feel very sorry for her and hope
to god she finds support.
Kim
>
> Chele
Howboutmer
<< I asked here about doing it for a little while and switching. A lot
of people said a breastfed baby would be unlikely to take a bottle,
>>
Okay, I just have to say one thing here. My babe went easily from breast to
bottle and back from day one (I pumped, but that's beside the point). I was
extremely paranoid about "nipple confusion" but what I've learned talking to
other mothers in a "mommies group" I belong to was that if babies weren't
exposed to bottles early on, they probably wouldn't take them. None of them
knew anyone who experienced nipple confusion, but they were very aware of
babies refusing to take bottles. The ones whose babies wouldn't take a bottle
said they wished they had tried it earlier. Yes, I'm sure nipple confusion
exists. I just don't think it's as widespread as I was led to believe. (I
practically cried when I had to give my babe a bottle in the NICU because he
didn't have the energy to nurse. I was so scared. But I'm so glad I did. He
never had a problem going back and forth. And it's so nice to have my husband
help with feedings.)
- Mary (mom to Aaron - 6/13/00)
Callai
Howboutmer <howbo...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20010104001730...@ng-md1.aol.com...
I had the opposite problem. When my daughter was born (2nd bub), she was
10lbs with a fat face and her plump cheeks made it impossible to get close
enough to latch on so I pumped and fed her from bottles until she had grown
into herself a bit and could nurse properly. I was pumping 13 times a day
and giving her a bottle 13 times a day for the first month. However, she
found the bottle a much more efficient way of being fed and abandoned my
breast altogether at around 3 months. Because I also had a toddler I didn't
do what I intend to do this time, if we have to go through the same
problem. That is: be tough and withdraw the bottles and only offer my
breasts.
I've been quite interested reading about alternatives to bottles for feeding
ebm but I haven't seen any of the equipment in the shops. I have a "Nursing
Mothers Assoc" shop near me so I should pop in and see what they have to
say. I know it sounds like I'm expecting the worst but I already know this
bub's in the 90th percentile for size even if he is going to be delivered 16
days (in 3 weeks, hooray!) earlier than my edd. My first baby was also a
10lber and was a slow, sleepy feeder who liked to snooze on me for hours.
First borns are luckier than their siblings. :)
Anyway, he'll be getting my breast milk *somehow*, even if I have to bath
him in it! :)
Callai
(being unzipped 25/1)
Callai
Amanda <ama...@powerup.com.au> wrote in message news:3a52d9a6@grissom...
> I breast fed baby number 1 and 2 and now that I am expecting number three
my
> husband has decided that he doesn't want me to breastfeed this time.
> aparently it detracts from his sexual enjoyment. Well I told him were he
> could go.
bwhahahahahahahaha
I bet he gets over his squeamishness before you're ready get back into the
saddle, so to speak!
Callai
>
> Love Amanda
>
>
> Courtney <cour...@zenn.net> wrote in message
> news:3A52B8E3...@zenn.net...
> > Hi Everyone,
> >
> > I've been lurking on this newsgroup for months, reading all of the
> > posts, but not chipping in too much.
> >
> > I do have a specific question/concern, however. My husband is a really
> > lovely and supportive person. He is British and I'm American (we met in
> > Ireland). I breastfed my first daughter (8 1/2) without even a second
> > thought about what I was going to do. My husband is really freaked out
> > about this whole breast-feeding thing, however, with our new baby (due
> > in February). He's never known anyone to breast feed, and to him it
> > will just be awkward and unnecessary. He was like, "So let me get this
> > straight, we're going to be at my mum's, sitting in the living room, and
> > the baby will get hungry, and you'll feed her with your breast?"
> > Incredulous.
> >
> > I told him I'd like him to read about the benefits of breastfeeding, so
> > he is informed and knows why I have made this choice. I also told him
> > that I need his support, because it is very important to me.
> >
> > Are there any others out there with husbands who were freaked out by the
> > concept of breastfeeding? I'm not implying that this is a cultural
> > thing, but where he grew up, he was just never exposed to it.
> >
> > Thanks.
> >
> > Courtney
> >
>
>
Ice@arcadia.com Shell
I can compare these things because what I've seen is a mother who has only
thought of herself. She wants to take her child out of the hospital, for
her convenience. She wants to ff, for her convenience. She's complaining
about engorgement yet her poor daughter wants it.
Yeah... I'd say that's quite sellfish and neglectful.
iphigenia
: What a bunch of horse doo doo Jessica. You just love making up these
: ridiculous stories dont you! Get off the computer and take care of your
: children and clean your house. Oh yeah, smoke your cigarettes, eat your
: candy bars, drink your beer and take some valium while your at it cuz
: youre gonna need it.
All right, this is getting ridiculous. It's one thing for you to go off on
your militant, intolerant BFing platform, but it's quite another for you to
attack Jessica for every thing she says.
Consider yourself killfiled, you troll.
iphigenia
Bev Brandt
Okay...while I definitely do not agree with Kim's style and while I
don't blame you in the least for plonking her in your killfile, I have
to say that I agree with her basic doubts about Jessica's shooting
breastmilk across the room story.
I have had an over abundance of milk coupled with an over-active
letdown to the point where Jarrod choked and sputtered so much in his
first few weeks that I was worried he was choking more than eating.
Over-abundance of supply and over-active let down is a real issue in
breastfeeding - a problem that has a solution.
I have squirted, leaked, dripped and generally made messes that were
uncomfortable even for me. I have *joked* about being able to "squirt
across the room," but that's JOKED. I could never have squirted more
than a couple of feet and even if I did, it would be a gentle mist by
the time it reached it's target. As far as I know - and there are other
women out there who have OA letdown and more milk than they can handle
who may say differently - humans don't "spray" with a lot of force.
So...
Maybe my overactive letdown wasn't that bad. Maybe my living room is
larger than Jessica's MIL's. Maybe I have to work on my aim.
Or maybe. Just maybe. The "shot of breastmilk across the room" story is
an exaggeration.
The bottom line is this: I don't really care how someone chooses to
feed their baby or what their reasons for doing so are. I do care about
mis-information, second-hand stories, myths and exaggerations posted as
truth. Especially this type of story in a thread where the OP has asked
about sqeamishness.
--
Beverly Brandt
http://bevbrandt.home.mindspring.com/
Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/
Tracy Cramer
Right side: range from 2-4 ft. with a bit over 6 ft. being the "long shot"
Left side: range from 1-3 ft. 3 ft. was long shot.
Accuracy: none to speak of.
Daughter: wondering why part of her lunch was all over the kitchen floor.
Afternoon plans: mop said kitchen floor.
Embarrassment factor: would have been much higher if today was the day for
meter reading.
Tracy
Bev Brandt
"Tracy Cramer" <tDOcra...@SPAMiquest.MEnet> wrote:
> My scientific research, submitted for your approval and probable
ridicule:
>
> Right side: range from 2-4 ft. with a bit over 6 ft. being the "long
shot"
>
> Left side: range from 1-3 ft. 3 ft. was long shot.
Ah, see...my living room is pretty large. The long shot at 6 ft might
get the dog, but the kid across the room wouldn't even know what
happened.
>
> Accuracy: none to speak of.
Practice, practice, practice.
>
> Daughter: wondering why part of her lunch was all over the kitchen
floor.
Jarrod learned to squint early. Some sort of developmental stage, I
believe.
>
> Afternoon plans: mop said kitchen floor.
*sigh* Blends right in with the rest of the foodstuffs on the floor.
Breastmilk is nothing compared to yesterday's peas. Note to self: the
next time we re-do the kitchen (20 years from now) do not install black
and white ceramic tile.
>
> Embarrassment factor: would have been much higher if today was the
day for
> meter reading.
>
> Tracy
>
>
"Pizza's here!"
"Wait, Carson, no...don't open the door...d'oh!"
Daisy Duke
>VERY VERY sorry.
>
>But... I'll go back living my obviously sheltered life.
>
>--
>~Shell (Lady underscore Arcadia
Shell,
Jess responded to my question about signing out the baby AMA that she was just
venting, is very frustrated, and will not actually do it.
laurie
edd 3/19/01
Ice@arcadia.com Shell
--
~Shell (Lady underscore Arcadia at go dot com)
Mommy to Justin born on July 12, 2000
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/t/tigerbaby/
Tracy Cramer <tDOcra...@SPAMiquest.MEnet> wrote in message
news:l1256.502$iV1.3...@news1.iquest.net...
Ice@arcadia.com Shell
Daisy Duke <mugsy...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20010104133701...@ng-fs1.aol.com...
Yes, she responded to me as well. I'm glad to hear that, and I certainly
understand why she's frustrated. I know venting very well! :-)
--
Naomi Lynne Pardue
>>Neglect is something that I lived everyday. I do not smile kindly at others
>>who neglect their children. If Jess hasn't and I am mistaken then I am VERY
>>VERY VERY sorry.
> Neither do I.
> For one thing, when I talk of the discharge of my daughter from the
> hospital:
> * She has not seen a neonatologist once. She has seen an on-call
> pediatrician, who changes daily.
Why have you not called your pediatrician to come in to see her.
House staff is there to look after babies when the personal physician
is not available. (When Shaina was born, and had some problems
immediately after birth, the house pediatrician looked after her. (It
was 11 p.m. on a Sunday night.) Monday morning our pediatrician showed
up and took over her care from then on.
> In my frustrated, pissed-off opinion, she is getting passed like the
> proverbial buck because no pediatrician wants their name signed on a
> discharge order in case something DOES go wrong. She's never seen the
> same damned pediatrician twice, either, so they can't monitor what's
> normal for her.
So call YOUR pediatrician and ask him/her to come in and take over
the care of YOUR child. SUrely, with an older daughter already at home
you HAVE a pediatrician, don't you?
> But, no, I am not nursing her. She has gained weight steadily on
> formula and has no tolerance problems. She also, importantly, has no
> damned medical problems either. Her pediatricians have assured me
> that she is doing very well on formula.
Which does not mean that she will continue to do well on formula. But
of course you know that already. You have made the choice to put her
on formula from the start KNOWING perfectly well that you are putting
her health at risk for your preferences. (And your inability to
understand what people have told you. While it is true that some
bf babies will not take supplemental bottles after 6 weeks or whatever,
no baby will starve herself if the mother chooses to wean to a bottle
after a few weeks and switches baby to the bottle. Once again, you seem
to be blaming others for your choices and decisions.)
Naomi
Tracy Cramer
news:932gfi$a...@dispatch.concentric.net...
> ROFLMAO!!! This is great Tracy! Very funny!
You know me...anything in the name of education!
Tracy
Tracy Cramer
> he is informed and knows why I have made this choice. I also told him
> that I need his support, because it is very important to me.
>
> Are there any others out there with husbands who were freaked out by the
> concept of breastfeeding? I'm not implying that this is a cultural
> thing, but where he grew up, he was just never exposed to it.
>
> Thanks.
>
> Courtney
My DH was bottlefed as was everyone in his family and everyone he'd been
around. He really left the decision up to me because I was the one who
handled the majority of baby care. Now, I'd already had a child that I
nursed, so I had experience and he was good about recognizing that I wanted
to do what's best for our kids.
He is not squeamish about much, so that could be part of the reason he
wasn't bothered. He really likes the money that we're saving, both by not
having to buy formula or excess medical bills.
Perhaps you could use the financial aspect to appeal to him first? One year
of formula costs $1200-$1500. I've read that the medical bills of formula
fed infants average $1400 more than breastfed. Perhaps you could suggest
putting that formula money into a savings account and let him choose how to
spend it?
You could also demonstrate how you can nurse discretely with the help of a
blanket.
Lastly, suggest that he wait until you're actually breastfeeding to revisit
his feelings. Just like some moms-to-be who are grossed out by the thought
before they nurse and find out it's ok, he might need to witness
breastfeeding up close to change his mind.
Tracy
(whose DH is now pro-bf to the point that he thinks it's funny when the baby
tries to nurse on him when she gets confused at night!)
Pallas
whatever it takes is fine)
tecia
writes
>I think that shell was referring to Jessica wanting to take her baby out
>of the hospital AMA. She has serious problems if she thinks her life
>will get better once the baby is home. Shes got it made right now and I
>think she is starting to crack under the pressure of not knowing what to
>do with a newborn and other sibling.
Oh shut up, Kim.
I thought you said you'd had a baby in NICU. Are you seriously telling
me that it is *easier* than having them at home? You have GOT to be
kidding!
Jess, like others, I'd probably advise against discharging Julie AMA,
because if she were to subsequently get sick, even unrelatedly, you'd
probably be given a really hard time. But I can quite understand you
wanting her home - just hang in there, it won't be long now. It sounds like
she's doing really well. And like you've said yourself - Alicia needs you
more than Julianne does: try to keep it together, for her, and Julianne will
be home before you know it, and you'll be able to start getting into a
routine.
--
C
Mama to Peter (9/96), Isabel (3/98)
Georgia and Anna (1/99), Andrew (2/00)
and Sophie (due 3/01)
I wanted to get out and change the world, but I couldn't find a babysitter
=====================================================
Sarajoyo
>
>I thought you said you'd had a baby in NICU. Are you seriously telling
>me that it is *easier* than having them at home? You have GOT to be
>kidding!
Well said, Candy! Thanks for saying what was on a lot of people's minds, mine
included. I can only imagine how awful it must be to have a baby in NICU, or
even the hospital at all.
-Sara:)
jacal...@my-deja.com
baby in the hospital until you cool down, lest its tiny, fragile ears
be shattered by your potty mouth.
There is no need to swear at us no matter how frustrated you are. You
choose to post here and what you post is fair game. You can't blame
others for posting their opinion of your actions. If you disprove of
their opinions relative to your stated positions, you shouldn't post
such things.
For example, you can't expect anyone who is a mother to feel sorry for
you for feeling engorged when you won't give your child the very best
nutrition God intended that child to have. Your "personal" reasons are
petty next to the survival and ability to thrive of that newborn baby.
Regardless of your past, you have your baby's future to be concerned
about and I feel you are being selfish.
I have a toddler son and am pg with another baby. Breastfeeding was a
huge struggle for me because I could not produce enough to feed him. I
prayed to have enough milk and would gladly have accepted the
discomfort of being engorged if it meant I could feed and satisfy my
baby. I do not feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for your newborn
child.
H Schinske
>Judging from your use of expletives, you might do better to leave that
>baby in the hospital until you cool down, lest its tiny, fragile ears
>be shattered by your potty mouth.
>
>There is no need to swear at us no matter how frustrated you are.
Jess wasn't swearing AT you, and her frustration was perfectly appropriate to
her situation. I think it was fine for her to question her doctors' opinions,
and she's stated several times that she was *not*, in fact, going to go against
medical advice.
Her post seems perfectly clear to me. I can't see how people are
misunderstanding it so wildly (except perhaps because they were already angry
at her).
--Helen
Dave & Sue
"Tracy Cramer" <tDOcra...@SPAMiquest.MEnet> wrote in message
Tracy... what a great post... I will be using some of this advice with my DH
who has said "your decision" but seems a little freaked!!!
Sue from NZ
(who loves rational well written posts!)
>
Kim
>
> >Oh shut up, Kim.
> >
> >I thought you said you'd had a baby in NICU. Are you seriously telling
> >me that it is *easier* than having them at home? You have GOT to be
> >kidding!
must be hard to have them in for so long a period. What do you think i
had my baby at home? Stop trying so damn hard to find mistakes in my
posts. YOu truly need to get a life.
Kim
Dave & Sue
"Kim" <blo...@ttlc.net> wrote in message news:3A5535DF...@ttlc.net...
> Sarajoyo wrote:
> >
> > >Oh shut up, Kim.
> > >
> > >I thought you said you'd had a baby in NICU. Are you seriously telling
> > >me that it is *easier* than having them at home? You have GOT to be
> > >kidding!
> Oh for christ sake. My son was in NICU for 24 hours. I meant that it
> must be hard to have them in for so long a period. What do you think i
> had my baby at home? Stop trying so damn hard to find mistakes in my
> posts. YOu truly need to get a life.
> Kim
Oh kim... 24 whole hours... from your post about having a baby in NICU, I
expected a long period of time... *sigh*... oh how we use things when it
suits...
Give it up already, if you weren't so opinionated and pushy, people WOULD
stop finding mistakes in your posts!
Kim
>
> "Kim" <blo...@ttlc.net> wrote in message news:3A5535DF...@ttlc.net...
> > Sarajoyo wrote:
> > >
> > > >Oh shut up, Kim.
> > > >
> > > >I thought you said you'd had a baby in NICU. Are you seriously telling
> > > >me that it is *easier* than having them at home? You have GOT to be
> > > >kidding!
> > Oh for christ sake. My son was in NICU for 24 hours. I meant that it
> > must be hard to have them in for so long a period. What do you think i
> > had my baby at home? Stop trying so damn hard to find mistakes in my
> > posts. YOu truly need to get a life.
> > Kim
>
> Oh kim... 24 whole hours... from your post about having a baby in NICU, I
> expected a long period of time... *sigh*... oh how we use things when it
> suits...
being unrealistic about her expectations? I was on bedrest on Christmas
eve and new years. I didnt even get to spend Christmas with my other 2
kids. I woke up bleeding so badly I had to be rushed to the hospital.
When Colby did come at 35 weeks I had placenta accreta and almost
freaking died! I had my uterus removed and had to have a transfusion.
All while my son was hooked up to monitors and I was all alone. Dont
tell me about not knowing what this shit is like. I had a 17mth and 5yr
old at home which was an hour away, not to mention the horrific nurses
that I had.
> Give it up already, if you weren't so opinionated and pushy, people WOULD
> stop finding mistakes in your posts!
>
rather I pussy foot around so as not to offend anyone. Lifes tough, get
over it.
Kim
Dave & Sue
"Kim" <blo...@ttlc.net> wrote in message news:3A553A98...@ttlc.net...
Sorry, why should I feel guilty. I am pg, and intending to BF... there is
no guilt. All I am saying is I don't like the WAY you are saying things as
we are here to support one another through pregnancy... and through the
decisions we each make.
Sure, state your opinion, we all know how you feel, but stop banging on and
on and on...
This is the first time I am killfiling a woman...
Disgusting really
Sarajoyo
>>
>> >Oh shut up, Kim.
>> >
>> >I thought you said you'd had a baby in NICU. Are you seriously telling
>> >me that it is *easier* than having them at home? You have GOT to be
>> >kidding!
Kim,
I know newsreaders can be tricky, but I wanted to let you know that I am not
the one who posted this. I was merely responding to someone else. Thanks.
-Sara:)
Michelle Haines
*bursts out laughing*
You know, I could see myself doing something like that too. What a
hilarious image.
Michelle
Flutist
Sherry
*chuckle* I usually avoid "kim" threads like the plague, but I'm
soooooo glad I popped in on this one ;)
Now I've got to go try. Only the UPS man is due today. *chuckle*
Thanks for the giggles Kim & Bev.
Sherry, mother of Natalie Ruth 5/18/2000
http://www.CactusBlossom.org
Erlewein
anger is coming from people who absolutely seem to equate bottle feeding with
being a bad mother.
Don't get me wrong, I plan to bf this spring, but I don't think someone chosing
to bottle feed makes them a bad mother or should cause us to pity their child.
Different things work for different families. Jess respects our decisions and
we should respect that she makes her own.
I *personally* thought it was very clear that she was never going to take the
baby AMA, but was just incredibly frustrated, but maybe that wasn't as clear to
others. I could see if you really thought she was going to do that it would be
upsetting.
Cyndi
tecia
writes
>Sarajoyo wrote:
>>
>> >Oh shut up, Kim.
>> >
>> >I thought you said you'd had a baby in NICU. Are you seriously telling
>> >me that it is *easier* than having them at home? You have GOT to be
>> >kidding!
>Oh for christ sake. My son was in NICU for 24 hours. I meant that it
>must be hard to have them in for so long a period. What do you think i
>had my baby at home? Stop trying so damn hard to find mistakes in my
>posts. YOu truly need to get a life.
>Kim
OK, just to clarify, Kim. You said (paraphrasing slightly) that if Jessica
was strugging having a baby in NICU, god help her when she got the
baby home - she's fall apart completely.
I was under the impression (wrongly, as it turns out) that you had
experience of having a baby in NICU (24 hours does NOT count. No
*wonder* you were able to be there all the time. And here was I and
other NICU-stay survivors wondering how on earth you did it, with other
children at home. So in fact, that makes me even more irritated, thinking
back to how you were preaching and acting superior because you never
left your baby, and looking down on Jessica for sometimes going home).
So, just to make it crystal clear (since you seem very good at
misinterpreting things): if you had ANY idea what it was like having a
baby in NICU, you would KNOW that it is much harder than having
them at home. There was simply no need to undermine Jessica's
confidence further by implying otherwise. (And clearly, from her update,
she is managing just fine now that the baby is finally home. Just as I
would have expected).
>>
>> Well said, Candy! Thanks for saying what was on a lot of people's minds, mine
>> included. I can only imagine how awful it must be to have a baby in NICU, or
>> even the hospital at all.
>>
>> -Sara:)
--
C - who having coped with a 7 week NICU stay, can't *imagine* how
parents of micros cope with even longer
Kim
>
> In article <3A5535DF...@ttlc.net>, Kim <blo...@ttlc.net>
> writes
> >Sarajoyo wrote:
> >>
> >> >Oh shut up, Kim.
> >> >
> >> >I thought you said you'd had a baby in NICU. Are you seriously telling
> >> >me that it is *easier* than having them at home? You have GOT to be
> >> >kidding!
> >Oh for christ sake. My son was in NICU for 24 hours. I meant that it
> >must be hard to have them in for so long a period. What do you think i
> >had my baby at home? Stop trying so damn hard to find mistakes in my
> >posts. YOu truly need to get a life.
> >Kim
>
> OK, just to clarify, Kim. You said (paraphrasing slightly) that if Jessica
> was strugging having a baby in NICU, god help her when she got the
> baby home - she's fall apart completely.
>
> I was under the impression (wrongly, as it turns out) that you had
> experience of having a baby in NICU (24 hours does NOT count. No
> *wonder* you were able to be there all the time. And here was I and
> other NICU-stay survivors wondering how on earth you did it, with other
> children at home. So in fact, that makes me even more irritated, thinking
> back to how you were preaching and acting superior because you never
> left your baby, and looking down on Jessica for sometimes going home).
If my baby were in the NICU for an extended period of time I wouldnt
leave his side. Obviously I was away from both my kids for 2 weeks and
if that isnt good enough to make me an expert on not being stuck at the
hospital than I dont know what does. I couldnt leave my room, couldnt
be home for Christmas, good god I was in the hospital longer than her.
I dont think I was trying to be superior, I wouldnt have been at home
all night cleaning though. Maybe I just have a much more giving
husband. He lost his job because he took a day off to be at the
surgery. I would say we sacrificed more than our fair share.
Kim
Sherry
>My scientific research, submitted for your approval and probable ridicule:
*chuckle* I usually avoid "kim" threads like the plague, but I'm
soooooo glad I popped in on this one ;)
Now I've got to go try. Only the UPS man is due today. *chuckle*
Thanks for the giggles Tracy & Bev.
sleepily,
Kandee Wright
who think BF moms are saying they are bad for ff. I know there are a few
here who post harshly but most posts I've seen have been kind and offering
advice, info and experiences.
It's like there is this ff vs. bf and it's sad because most bf moms just
want to encourage the people they care about to do the very best for their
babies, it's not about calling other moms bad but showing and explaining why
bf is so much better for baby and why we all a. wanted to do it, want to do
it, have done it and why we are so passionate about it. We care. I see my
healthy daughter and even for the short time Jacob was able nurse how well
he did do on it. I have all sorts of opinions on the best way to raise my
kids but with feeding them unless they are outside reason (baby won't
latch/nurse due to sensory issues/illness/premie, mom really does not
produce milk due or similar reasons or psychological), then I really only
see breastmilk as the right way to feed a baby.
People also seem to forget these flaming threads are following Jessica not
necessarily because anyone deserves that but because she repeatedly post
myths after being told they were myths regarding breastfeeding. She also
originally posted she would nurse, then when she had this little baby she
didn't and it was almost like she said it for the shock value. She then
goes on to post about her husband vomiting due to her lactating, his being
shot in the head by his mom with breastmilk, and how now she reveals she
suddenly has personal psychological reasons for not nursing.
Now normally I wouldn't ever put my two cents into whether a mom should
breastfeed or not but she asked. She repeatedly asked questions and didn't
like that we said, "Aw just formula fed you baby, she'll do just as fine."
Because I couldn't say that as that would by lying. Statistically ff babies
don't do just as well and for a preemie baby there is a serious outcome that
is possible. There systems are so sensitive and offering them formula when
you have engorged breasts leaking milk seems just plain wrong.
As for the AMA thing, I can relate to that. It is frustrating as heck. My
son was in the NICU for almost 3 weeks and I literally lived there. The
only time I left was to shower, and go play with Jackie at my grandparents
house where she and Keith stayed to be near us so we could try and have some
normalcy. But for 3 weeks I slept at a hospital at night away from my
daughter and husband so I do understand. I can relate very well to that
part of her. The rest is, well, it's foreign to me.
--
Kandee
http://www.kvts.com/kandee/
Jacqueline Anne 8/28/96
Jacob David 10/21/98
James or Jessica 7/17/01
Erlewein <erle...@aol.comnospam> wrote in message
news:20010105091910...@ng-md1.aol.com...
Randy & Carlene Rummery
<jacal...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:932ul7$5v0$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
> Judging from your use of expletives, you might do better to leave that
> baby in the hospital until you cool down, lest its tiny, fragile ears
> be shattered by your potty mouth.
Oh brother. I do hope you are joking.
> There is no need to swear at us no matter how frustrated you are.
Jessica certainly wasn't swearing *at* us. She was venting. Frankly, this is
an *adult* forum and if you have problems with certain curse words, I would
suggest you read somewhere else.
> You
> choose to post here and what you post is fair game. You can't blame
> others for posting their opinion of your actions. If you disprove of
> their opinions relative to your stated positions, you shouldn't post
> such things.
>
> For example, you can't expect anyone who is a mother to feel sorry for
> you for feeling engorged when you won't give your child the very best
> nutrition God intended that child to have. Your "personal" reasons are
> petty next to the survival and ability to thrive of that newborn baby.
> Regardless of your past, you have your baby's future to be concerned
> about and I feel you are being selfish.
Blah, blah, blah. The reality here is this: It is Jessica's choice how to
feed her baby. She is not an idiot. And while people here might not like
*how* she came to that decision, it is *her* decision. Do the people here
who consistently criticize formula feeders really think insults and name
calling is going to enlighten those who opt to formula feed? If so, may I
interest you in some effective communication workshops?
> I have a toddler son and am pg with another baby. Breastfeeding was a
> huge struggle for me because I could not produce enough to feed him. I
> prayed to have enough milk and would gladly have accepted the
> discomfort of being engorged if it meant I could feed and satisfy my
> baby.
And that's great for you. You were willing and able to breastfeed. For her
own reasons, Jessica is not. End of story. Let it rest.
> I do not feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for your newborn
> child.
Quite frankly, I think her children are going to have great lives because
they have a great mom. You have obviously learned nothing about Jessica in
the months she has been here. Her choice to formula feed says *nothing*
about her ability to parent.
Carlene
EDD 02-19-01
Kim
>
> Quite frankly, I think her children are going to have great lives because
> they have a great mom. You have obviously learned nothing about Jessica in
> the months she has been here. Her choice to formula feed says *nothing*
> about her ability to parent.
>
I see it as a huge indication of not wanting to put your baby first by
giving it the best food possible. If a mom wont even try to bf and is
so willing to give the baby 2nd rate food than what else will she give
it that is 2nd rate?
kim
Alphawoman
>See, I feel differently, it seems like a lot of hostility comes from mom's
>who think BF moms are saying they are bad for ff. I know there are a few
>here who post harshly but most posts I've seen have been kind and offering
>advice, info and experiences.
But oh how a few loud voices manage to dominate a conversation! It certainly
is true that most people here don't post krappy harsh judgmental posts, but
when a few people do (and do so vehemently and repeatedly), it starts to drown
out all the other voices. I don't blame ff'ing moms for feeling attacked.
Unfortunately, it is true that some bf advocates go too far. When I told a
friend (who intends to ff) that I intend to bf, she clammed up in a second.
Only later did I find out that she was afraid I might have turned into "one of
those breastfeeding zealots" (her words).
As for Jessica, well, she wants to have her body back to herself, and that's
her emotional need right now, and no amount of bickering or hollering on this
ng is going to meet that need. It sounds to me that she's doing the best she
can to take care of her child's physical needs while still taking care of her
own emotional needs. Maybe having this child will give her better perspective
on how much of her physical self she can comfortably offer her kids without
feeling too intruded-upon. Experience is the best teacher.
-- Alpha
edd 3/10/01
Kandee Wright
news:20010105103115...@ng-df1.aol.com...
> Kandee says:
>
> >See, I feel differently, it seems like a lot of hostility comes from
mom's
> >who think BF moms are saying they are bad for ff. I know there are a few
> >here who post harshly but most posts I've seen have been kind and
offering
> >advice, info and experiences.
>
> But oh how a few loud voices manage to dominate a conversation! It
certainly
> is true that most people here don't post krappy harsh judgmental posts,
but
> when a few people do (and do so vehemently and repeatedly), it starts to
drown
> out all the other voices. I don't blame ff'ing moms for feeling attacked.
>
ones, sigh. And the chance for ff and bf moms to have a real, intelligent
discussion about bf.
And no I don't blame the ff'ing moms for felling attacked by those voices.
And sadly some will even see my previous post as an attack on them anyhow
because there has been so much negativity flowing around here as of late.
Ruthie
anything more "2nd rate" than that.
Ruthie
michelle
a
> friend (who intends to ff) that I intend to bf, she clammed up in a
second.
> Only later did I find out that she was afraid I might have turned into
"one of
> those breastfeeding zealots" (her words).
I tend to stay out of the bf/ff conversations as I tend to get quite
emotional and defensive...so i jsut bite my tongue :)
But I wanted to say to Alpha that I agree wholeheartedly. I mean I can't
speak for everyone, but I can speak for my situation. With both of my
babies I wanted nothing more in the world than to breastfeed. I loved the
thought of being able to provide 'life' to my children. When I was told
BOTH times taht my babies were dropping weight, and for some as of yet
unexplained reason I seem not to be able to produce enough milk to
breastfeed. I was
DEVESTATED. I cannot and won't even try to explain to bf'ers or ff'ers the
feelings taht I had of confusion, upset, sadness and complete failure as a
mother that I couldn't even provide the most essential part of life to my
children. At the time I had good support from friends, family and my
pediatrician to start either ff, or supplementing which was the route I
chose for a while. I latched the baby on to my breast while supp. with
formula thru a feeding tube. This was a pain in the *ss trust me! It's the
worst of both worlds! Anyways, even with all of the support I had to stop
bfeeding, ONE nurse commented basically on the fact that ffeeding was not
natural and I wasn't giving my baby the best and I could try again....I
didn't give it my best shot, I was lazy etc...and I was right backdown in
the dumps. Trust me, it only took one little voice in amongst all those
other voices to cause me to fall into a deep depression for months. With my
second I closed my ears to everyone and followed my heart. Now I have a
third on the way. You can best believe even after all the troubles I had
with the first 2 that I will try bfeeding again. But I will NOT let anyone
make me feel guilty for something I have no control over.
Michelle mom to
Matthew(25/06/93) and Ryan(04/05/00) and
#3 EDD(13/07/01)
Kandee Wright
news:ofm56.220945$_5.50...@news4.rdc1.on.home.com...
> second I closed my ears to everyone and followed my heart. Now I have a
> third on the way. You can best believe even after all the troubles I had
> with the first 2 that I will try bfeeding again. But I will NOT let
anyone
> make me feel guilty for something I have no control over.
>
> Michelle mom to
> Matthew(25/06/93) and Ryan(04/05/00) and
> #3 EDD(13/07/01)
>
have no control over. I'm glad you are willing to try again and I hope that
you come to misc.kids.breastfeeding to talk with them about it because many
may have/have gone through similar situations and can offer some advice so
that maybe this time will be the charm.
michelle
you
> have no control over. I'm glad you are willing to try again and I hope
that
> you come to misc.kids.breastfeeding to talk with them about it because
many
> may have/have gone through similar situations and can offer some advice so
> that maybe this time will be the charm.
>
> --
> Kandee
The do say third times a charm so I'm keeping my fingers crossed!! I have
more knowledge and education now that I did with the first two even though
the second one was only born 8 months ago! I'm also going to a different
hospital this time that has waaay better breastfeeding support, so I'm
hoping this time it works. I will be meeting with a lactation consultant
even before the baby is born that way I'm in touch with someone and can call
anytime.
I may pop into mkb after this one. I did visit there last time and asked a
few questions and everyone was very helpful.
Ruthie
anything encouraging me to breastfeed. In fact I don't ever remember reading
anything about the benefits of it in the hospital or my doctor's office. My
mom bottle-fed (she told me later that her nipples were far too sensitive to
stand BF) and my sister tried it with her first child but couldn't produce
enough milk for her hungry son and therefore didn't think she'd have enough
for her other 2 children. My cousin breastfed but had issues with her
breastmilk and ended up having to go to formula. I really want to try and
breastfeed this child, but have no clue where to go to ask for help should I
need it (aside from this ng). Who exactly do I ask for in the hospital when
I'm holding my new little hungry baby in my arms? A lactation consultant? Or
do I only ask for one of those if I can't figure it out on my own? I don't
know hardly anyone who breastfeeds, and the only person that I have been
around that does lives very far away and wouldn't be much help. I also have
a condition called hypothyroidism, for which I take synthroid every day for
the rest of my life. Will this prevent me from BF?
Thanks :o)
Ruthie, proud momma of Rachel, 1-22-98, and ??????, EDD 9-10-01
"michelle" <cthom...@home.com> wrote in message
news:k5q56.222372$_5.50...@news4.rdc1.on.home.com...
Kandee Wright
news:siu56.1833$Ps.6...@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net...
> need it (aside from this ng). Who exactly do I ask for in the hospital
when
> I'm holding my new little hungry baby in my arms? A lactation consultant?
Or
> do I only ask for one of those if I can't figure it out on my own? I don't
> know hardly anyone who breastfeeds, and the only person that I have been
> around that does lives very far away and wouldn't be much help.
Most hospitals or birthing centers offer breastfeeding classes. I took one
when I was pregnant with Jackie. It helped me to learn latching techniques,
how to deal with sore nipples also gave me the determination to make it work
no matter what. Though my hardest problem was a very hungry baby and my
milk not coming in to the fifth despite her constant nursing but it all
worked out. Also I reccommend telling your OB you plan to nurse so the
hospital notes on your paperwork to avoid nipple confusion no bottles or
pacifers are to be offered to your baby. I also would request at least two
visits from an LC although that nurses will be able to get you started
immediately after birth I find them to not be as helpful as an actual LC
(Lactation Consultant). Although I know everyone fins LLL to be extreme
their are great for problem solving since many have preserved through
problems themselves. Call you local leader and ask to attend a few meetings
prior to birth.
>I also have
> a condition called hypothyroidism, for which I take synthroid every day
for
> the rest of my life. Will this prevent me from BF?
> Thanks :o)
>
This I would ask your OB but not all of them know which meds are best for
babies so I also recommend heading to misc.kids.breastfeeding for something
called a Hale's look up and they can advise you as to what medications that
are safest to use while nursing.
Good luck and I wish you much success!
michelle
When in the hospital you can ask for a lac. consultant even if you don't
have problems. I'm in Canada and don't know where you are, but in the hosp.
I delivered my son in, if you had written b/f on your birth plan a lac.
consultant automatically came to your room. She checked latch, position and
asked a few questions. She then gave me lots of pamphlets and hotline type
numbers I could call if I was having problems.
Out of the hospital you could look in your phone book for La Leche League.
This is a free service provided by women who have/are currently
breastfeeding, a believe there may be some medical people in this group too.
They will counsel you over the phone, or even come out to the house to help
you.
Your hospital may also have a b/f clinic that you can return to once you're
out of the hospital. I know that both hospitals here have
one...unfortunately you do need an appt...so those 3 am emergencies may not
be covered!!!
I also had a public health nurse with my first child that came out to the
house to check on myself and the baby. She was a wonderful help in checking
latch and position. I still call her now even though my son's 7 yrs old!!
LOL(of course not to ask her breastfeeding questions!! :)
Good luck with your decision and I hope things work out for you. There are
tons of resources out there! Oh..another thing is after the baby is born(or
maybe even before) you could join a parenting class..like a support type of
thing. Some of these moms may be currently or planning on bfeeding and can
be very useful to you, especially because most of them will probably live in
your area!
--
Michelle mom to:
Matthew(25/06/93) and Ryan(04/05/00)
and #3 EDD(13/07/01)
"Ruthie" <jour...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:siu56.1833$Ps.6...@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net...
jennifer
before you even give birth. Attend a breastfeeding class at your hospital
(call around if you have to in order to find one) and get in touch with Le
Leche Leaue so you can attend a few meetings during during your second
trimester. I think that many women wait until after they've had their baby to
make these contacts, and often times when you are so overwhelmed with a newborn
and bf'ing problems, it's too crazy to think of finding help. If you establish
these contacts now, not only will you pick up imperative tips before you run
into problems, if you *do* have problems you'll know exactly who to turn to.
Good luck! And don't forget misc.kids.breastfeeding, it's a wonderful resource
as well!
jennifer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Updated12/6/00!
Visit Enzo Zane's Page: http://members.aol.com/jeniany/birthstory.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mothering a son to grow into a good, caring man is like promoting peace and
goodness on earth! ~Maribeth
JoAnne Clark
>If my baby were in the NICU for an extended period of time I wouldnt
>leave his side.
And to hell with your other children, right? Oh, wait...I
forgot...one of them was formula fed so that one stank anyway. No big
loss to be away from him/her.
JoAnne
Mommy to:
Gabriel 5-23-98
Laura 3-1-00
-------------------------------------------------------
"Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits."
-Mark Twain
JenniRoa
The nurses in the hospital should be really helpful and you will definately
want to be seen by the LC. Maybe you could pick up a book or attend a class
before you give birth - check with your Dr or hospital to see what classes are
offered.
You might get a variety of opinions about this, but I would not take
Misc.kid.breastfeeding too seriously. Some of the ladeis on there are so
helpful and supportive, but many of them will question your worthiness to be a
mother if you so much as admit you have doubts/challenges with breastfeeding.
Many of them like to spout medical advice as if they were Doctors. Be very
careful. They might have some good tips, but they dont know you or your
medical history so be sure to talk to your doctor or a medical professional who
knows you and your situation.
Jenni
JenniRoa
forgot...one of them was formula fed so that one stank anyway. No big
loss to be away from him/her.
Joann,
Why dont you read what you wrote...
I havn't even been following this thread but that was down-right rude. I hope
you are a nicer person than that in real life.
Jenni
Joanna and Doug Kimball
> You might get a variety of opinions about this, but I would not take
> Misc.kid.breastfeeding too seriously. Some of the ladeis on there are so
> helpful and supportive, but many of them will question your worthiness to be a
> mother if you so much as admit you have doubts/challenges with breastfeeding.
> Many of them like to spout medical advice as if they were Doctors. Be very
> careful. They might have some good tips, but they dont know you or your
> medical history so be sure to talk to your doctor or a medical professional who
> knows you and your situation.
It sort of depends on how you look at it- I think m.k.b is actually MORE
supportive than this newsgroup is. There are a few people who might
rile some, but fewer trolls and fight-starters than there are here.
Furthermore, they spout medical advice BETTER than 99% of doctors out
there, because they know more about breastfeeding than the vast majority
of people who go through medical school. There is usually almost
nothing taught about breastfeeding and how to support a difficult
nursing relationship in med school, so these ladies who have been
through a lot have much more both personal AND medical information than
almost any doctor or pediatrician I've come in contact with.
Furthermore, the vast majority of women on m.k.b have not had the
"ideal" experience- many had to wean early, many had very big challenges
(everything from overactive letdown so the baby chokes every time he
tries to eat to low supply so the baby was in danger of dehydration),
others faced a ton of opposition from friends, family, and doctors.
Almost all of them have "doubts"- there's actually a thread going on
right now about the need to "get your body back" and how we can
simultaneously sustain a nursing relationship and nurture our own
selves.
I'm not even nursing any more, and when I was I didn't have any trouble
with it. And I STILL hang out there, because I think the women are so
wonderful, and they do such a good job nurturing new mothers through the
difficult situations that can come up.
Joanna
Meriwether, 3
Honour, 2
Melody
JenniRoa wrote:
> Why dont you read what you wrote...
> I havn't even been following this thread but that was down-right rude. I hope
> you are a nicer person than that in real life.
>
> Jenni
Why don't you read the whole thread before telling someone they're being
rude? The OP was the one who said she couldn't stand the small of her
formula fed child.
JenniRoa
I agree that they have good ideas about how to solve some nursing
problems...but that is different than giving medical advice. In other other
situation, would you take actual *medical* advice from a stranger with no
medical education? Of course not! They might be great ladies with some good
resources, but they are not a substitute for a good relationship with your
doctor.
Jenni
Joanna and Doug Kimball
What kind of medical advice are you talking about? I'm talking about
"what medicines can't you take while breastfeeding", "how can I tell if
my baby is dehydrated", "my baby isn't gaining weight well enough",
"what do I do about jaundice"- all of these have actually been better
answered on the breastfeeding newsgroup than by MY doctor, that's for
sure. This is not medical advice like "can you prescribe me some
antibiotics because I have mastitis", where of course you need a doctor.
But as a source of information- the kind of information that you can
find by looking and studying, like these women have- they're
better-qualified than most doctors.
As for medical information, that's pretty easy to get. Every time you
open a book on childbirth, that's "medical information". Doctors are
just people who went to graduate school- speaking as someone who has
spent a lot of time in grad school (nearly long enough to be a doctor
now, if that were my field) there are some people who are fabulous,
brilliant, and kind, and a lot of people who shouldn't be allowed to
drive a car, much less teach or practice on anyone. What doctors do is
not magic- all they do in school is read, a lot. Their internship is
just a chance to put into practice what they learned from reading and
lecture. What the ladies on m.k.b. do is read, a lot. They've also put
into practice what they've learned, many of them for multiple kids and
for years and years at a time. I gleefully take "medical advice" from
them, and would encourage others to do the same.
And the answers, by the way, are:
1. Very few. The best source on the subject (which most doctors do not
have at their fingertips, by the way) is Hale's book. Several women on
the ng have it and are happy to look up the classification of any drug
you can think of.
2. If the baby has less than 6-8 wet diapers through the day, has a
sunken fontanel (soft spot), dry eyes or mouth, and dark urine, it is a
sign of concern. The best way to treat it is NOT to supplement- it is
to take the baby to bed with you and do nothing but drink water all day
and offer the baby the breast at 30- to 60-minute intervals. This
should increase your supply well enough to increase the baby's
hydration. If dehydration persists, offer formula by cup or
finger-feeds in between nursing.
3. First, weight is not a sacred cow. Many babies are perfectly healthy
while being low on the "chart", since the chart was developed for
formula-fed babies and breastfed ones usually get fatter at first, then
slim down. However, if there is a real concern the first reaction
should be to nurse the baby for an extended length of time on one breast
at a time- offer only the right one for three or four frequent feedings
in a row, or for a total of 4-6 hours. This ensures that the baby gets
the fat-rich hindmilk, not just the watery foremilk. Increase
production, if necessary, using techniques in answer 2 or by taking
fenugreek, eating oatmeal, taking brewers' yeast, or red raspberry tea
and vitex.
4. Virtually all doctors will tell you to supplement with formula if the
bilirubin levels aren't going down enough. In fact, studies show that
breastmilk is far more effective, and the trick is to get more into the
baby. Use the bed-and-nurse technique from answer #1 to increase
supply, and then offer the breast as often as possible and for as long
as the baby will take it.
ALL of these answers- which are medically sound and correct, you can
look them up- came from m.k.b., NOT from my doctor. Most doctors will
tell you to wean before going on medication of any kind, even if there's
no data that the medication causes any harm to the baby. They urge
supplementation at the least sign of any problem breastfeeding, and
usually have little or no idea of how to increase milk supply. They're
astonished if you're still nursing past six months, and don't know how
to deal with or tell you to feed a nursing toddler. They don't know how
to deal with most common breastfeeding challenges- if they did, why
would we have LCs?
If you don't want to breastfeed, of course don't look to m.k.b. for
advice, because all the women there DO breastfeed and are justifiably
proud of the fact that they do it. But if you want to do it and are
committed to making it work, there is no better place on the web for information.
Ice@arcadia.com Shell
JenniRoa <jenn...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20010106000957...@ng-md1.aol.com...
I think this is extremely harsh. First of all, there *are* people in the NG
that have medical backgrounds. Secondly, I'd trust a woman who has gone
through the process and problems than a Dr. who hasn't been trained in
breastfeeding, or has never breast fed any day. (and a lot of them haven't
been!)
--
~Shell (Lady underscore Arcadia at go dot com)
Mommy to Justin born on July 12, 2000
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/t/tigerbaby/
Tracy Cramer
<snipped a bunch of misrepresentation about m.k.b.>
Jenni, there's a bunch of cloth diapering fanatics over at Parent's
Place...why don't you go set them straight?
Feeling *snarky* tonight,
Tracy
JenniRoa
that have medical backgrounds.
Yes, there are a few people there with a medical background. However (in most
cases) they have never examined or even met the other posters. While many
concepts in bf apply to every woman, a person's own medical history should
always be taken into account before medical advice is given (I am not talking
about common concerns but about medical advice such as the OP was asking about
regarding her thyroid condition).
Jenni
Marie
"she's too old for that", and one doctor I went to didn't know what a breast
infection was and what to do about it.
What good is a relationship with a doctor when he/she knows NOTHING about
breastfeeding and tells you to wean with every little problem you have? And
alot of them tell you to wean with every medication you take, when you do
NOT have to wean.
Marie
"JenniRoa" <jenn...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20010106000957...@ng-md1.aol.com...
Ice@arcadia.com Shell
99.9999% of what is discussed is common medical concerns. You are
misleading this poster in saying that we give out unwarranted medical
advice. To make an overall statement based on one post is quite inaccurate.
JenniRoa
I clearly said that I am not talking about bf basics. My concern is with the
people who give out medical advice when they have no business doing so. If 99%
of what goes on is bf basics...then I am talking about the 1% but think of how
dangerous that 1% is! No where else would intellegent women take medical
advice from an untrained stranger over the internet.
Jenni
AGreen1209
>Misc.kid.breastfeeding too seriously. Some of the ladeis on there are so
>helpful and supportive, but many of them will question your worthiness to be
>a
>mother if you so much as admit you have doubts/challenges with breastfeeding.
>
>Many of them like to spout medical advice as if they were Doctors. Be very
>careful. They might have some good tips, but they dont know you or your
>medical history so be sure to talk to your doctor or a medical professional
>who
>knows you and your situation.
>
>Jenni
>
>
>
>
>
>
Um, no. Actually I wouldn't have bf for very long if not for m.k.b. And they
certainly knew much more about bf than my doctor, who kept telling me "if you
do go to formula..." at every appointment. If you really want to bf, mkb will
be your BEST resource, because you'll most likely not have one problem that
hasn't been experienced (and usually conquered) by many on the group, and
everyone is willing to share tips. Don't take one persons advice, check it out
yourself. Introduce yourself before the baby's even born, and lurk for a
while. I did that, and I was so much more prepared when he was born.
Kim
made me sick to my stomach. Thats quite a leap to say that I couldnt
stand the smell of my child. Again, you are reading into my words and
repeating back lies to make yourself feel better.
Kim
SSgt. Dylan W. McGehee
they're being
>rude? The OP was the one who said she couldn't stand the small of her
>formula fed child.
AND she told him the smell of him made her sick. Isn't THAT a lovely woman?
I'd like to know what an adult would get out of telling a child, HER OWN
CHILD at that, something like that.
Kim
it. I thought you were more mature than that. What kind of an asshole
would tell her kid he made her sick?
Kim
Kandee Wright
*When offered medical type advice, if it does not mesh with what you been
told, check with your doctor, LC or research it if you doubt your doctor or
the advice.
*When offered with real life experience advice, as in "This is what I did
with my baby to..." Take that with a grain of salt and realize that these
are real women who have tried certain things and offering their experience
for you benefit from.
*I've rarely seen the negativity you've described shown on mkb. There are
one or two posters that might say things like that, but the rest are very
supportive, informative and helpful.
I'm so sad to see anyone describe the group in such a negative light.
--
Kandee
http://www.kvts.com/kandee/
Jacqueline Anne 8/28/96
Jacob David 10/21/98
James or Jessica 7/17/01
JenniRoa <jenn...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20010105233733...@ng-md1.aol.com...
Stephanie
> > > No, its the way I feel about formula and the ignorance of women who
> > > would choose an inferior method of feeding to meet their selfish
needs.
> > > Not to mention the smell of a ff baby sickens me
> > (carlene wrote)
> > You freely admit to having forumula fed one one your children. Does that
> > child know that he made you sick?
(and Kim responded)
> Yes, and he knows how sick the formula made him.
> Kim
Those are your quotes, cut directly from the posts in the "speaking of
engorgement" thread. It certainly looks to me like you said that 1) formula
fed babies make you sick..and 2) your ff child knows that as a baby, he was
on formula which made him sick and he made you sick (via smell, I'm
assuming)
No, I didn't really have anything else to do with my time since both of my
current breastfed children are sleeping on my lap right now and I'm stuck in
the chair. I am really tired of the bashing that has gone in these threads.
What is the point? Do you (Kim) really think that the things you have
written in these breastfeeding threads will really encourage breastfeeding?
I don't. While you may not agree with their choice (those who had a choice),
it is their choice and not yours. Sure, I think it would be great if more
babies were breastfed..but I am certainly not going to say that those who
aren't have bad (stupid, selfish, whatever other words you've used) parents.
I know bad parents who formula fed their kids, true. I know bad parents who
breastfed their children. I know parents who are trying to do their best no
matter which feeding method they use. I know great parents who used formula
and breastmilk.
I am not pro-formula, but I am tired of people who use formula for whatever
reason being told that they are abusing their kids, that they are selfish or
stupid, that they don't care about their children enough...Heck, I chose
breastfeeding because I was selfish - I didn't want to do any more dishes
than I had to. I chose family bed because I was selfish - didn't want to
cough up the $$ for a crib, and even more importantly, I didn't want to lose
out on any cuddle time with baby. I chose staying at home for selfish
reasons, too - I want to be with my kids and be able to enjoy my time with
them and dh without being in a hurry or on a strict schedule.
So I guess breastfeeding moms can be really selfish too..and I make stupid
mistakes and sometimes I want to send the kids away to their grandparents
for awhile. I guess I'm just a normal parent who makes different choices
than some others do. I am not a bad parent, I am not a great parent - I do
my best and pray my kids will survive all of my (and dh's) mistakes.
--
Stephanie
mom to 6 (14, 12, 9, 5, 2 3/4 and 3 months. Breastfeeding for 14+ years
straight with only 6 days off - and I was 2 days past my 19th birthday when
#1 child was born and had decided to breastfeed months before that so I
guess maybe your slam on young women wasn't quite accurate, hmm? I even know
16 year olds that have breastfed their children.. I used an occasional
bottle of formula, juice or water with some of the kids. Used pacifiers with
all that would take them. Family bed is still the norm for 3 of the kids.
Have used a babysitter only once in the past 5 years and that was when dh
had to have surgery - and we took the youngest with us. So do I fall into
the "formula militant", "feeling guilty" party now that I've written this
post? Cool..a formula militant who has bought a total of 2 cans of formula
for 6 kids over 14+ years..
"Kim" <blo...@ttlc.net> wrote in message news:3A573B1C...@ttlc.net...
Ruthie
visit the hospital after my Dr appt the 16th (his office is in the hospital)
and see if I can find a lactation consultant to talk to, and find out about
classes. Thanks again ladies :o)
--
Ruthie, proud momma of Rachel, 1-22-98, and ??????, EDD 9-10-01
"Kathy Cole" <ka...@scconsult.com> wrote in message
news:cqrd5t0praj627alm...@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 06 Jan 2001 01:12:56 GMT, "Ruthie" <jour...@earthlink.net>
> wrote:
>
> > I also have a condition called hypothyroidism, for which I take
> > synthroid every day for the rest of my life. Will this prevent me from
> > BF?
>
> No, thyroid meds are completely safe to take while breastfeeding (yes, I
> am also hypothyroid :). One caution, if you weren't aware of it
> already: iron and calcium supplements can interfere with thyroid
> absorption. Be sure to leave at least four hours between when you take
> your Synthroid and your prenatals/iron pills.
> --
> Kathy Cole ~ ka...@scconsult.com (at home)
>
Naomi Lynne Pardue
Ruthie <jour...@earthlink.net> wrote:
> When I had my first child, I had absolutely no information or support or
> anything encouraging me to breastfeed. In fact I don't ever remember reading
> anything about the benefits of it in the hospital or my doctor's office. My
Why not? Surely the information is available if you want to read it.
While it is good for doctors to provide this information, expectatant
parents surely have the responsibility to seek out information on the
care of their babies. You really cannot expect to be spoon-fed everything
you need to know to be a parent.
> mom bottle-fed (she told me later that her nipples were far too sensitive to
> stand BF) and my sister tried it with her first child but couldn't produce
> enough milk for her hungry son and therefore didn't think she'd have enough
> for her other 2 children. My cousin breastfed but had issues with her
> breastmilk and ended up having to go to formula. I really want to try and
> breastfeed this child, but have no clue where to go to ask for help should I
> need it (aside from this ng).
How about a bookstore? A library? Any of the dozens of websites.
There is a VAST amount of information easily available, if you take the
trouble to look for it.
Who exactly do I ask for in the hospital when
> I'm holding my new little hungry baby in my arms? A lactation consultant? Or
> do I only ask for one of those if I can't figure it out on my own?
You ask for an LC. Or you ask the nurse for help. (They SHOULD, and will,
in most cases, offer help.) Ideally, of course, you should seek out
the information BEFORE you are holding your baby in your arms.
I don't
> know hardly anyone who breastfeeds, and the only person that I have been
> around that does lives very far away and wouldn't be much help. I also have
> a condition called hypothyroidism, for which I take synthroid every day for
> the rest of my life. Will this prevent me from BF?
> Thanks :o)
Synthyroid is safe to use while bf. It gets into the milk only in
trace amounts. While it may be sensible to monitor baby's thyroid
function, the risk of the drug having any effect is extremely low.
Naomi
Naomi Lynne Pardue
> Ruthie,
> You might get a variety of opinions about this, but I would not take
> Misc.kid.breastfeeding too seriously. Some of the ladeis on there are so
> helpful and supportive, but many of them will question your worthiness to be a
> mother if you so much as admit you have doubts/challenges with breastfeeding.
Could you perhaps e-mail with the names of posters who question
the worthiness of mothers who have problems? The whole POINT of the
group is that mothers with problems and questions can post and get help.
> Many of them like to spout medical advice as if they were Doctors.
Again, I'm not sure exactly what you are talking about. We do provide
BF advice, some of which is health related. We do not prescribe
medication, diagnoze illneess, or otherwise pretend to be doctors.
The point is, however, that many doctors are ILL informed about bf.
And we WILL tell a woman to question her doctor's advice if the advice
on BREASTFEEDING issues, sounds wrong. (Meaning things like, telling
a woman to wean/supplement due to lower than average weight gain, telling
her to wean or 'pump and dump' if she needs to take virtually any
medication,telling a mother she needs to give vitamins to her healthy bf infant,
telling a mother to give her young infant solids or water.)
Naomi
Naomi Lynne Pardue
She gave the name of the medication she was taking. I looked it up in
Hales. Hale said, very clearly, that it was safe to use while bf. Why
does one need to be a doctor to be able to read, or interpret that
information. And thyroid conditions, in themselves, are not a reason
to be unable to breastfeed; inforamtion that can be gleaned from ANY
breastfeeding or medical book.
Naomi
Randy & Carlene Rummery
> > AND she told him the smell of him made her sick. Isn't THAT a lovely
woman?
> > I'd like to know what an adult would get out of telling a child, HER OWN
> > CHILD at that, something like that.
> Sophie, Why are you doing this? I never said those words and you know
> it. I thought you were more mature than that. What kind of an asshole
> would tell her kid he made her sick?
Kim,
I know I said I was bowing out of any discussion about breastfeeding with
you, however, since you wondered "why Sophie is doing this"
This is taken from one of your responses to me:
>> You freely admit to having forumula fed one one your children. Does that
>> child know that he made you sick?
> Yes, and he knows how sick the formula made him.
> Kim
As I said, I didn't want to get into this any further, but I'm assuming this
is what Sophie is referring to, and I wanted to clarify things for you.
Take care,
Carlene
8^)