four year old behavior

[Karen G]

Any suggestions on discouraging (ideally eliminating) these behaviors
with a four and a half year old boy before I go insane.

1. Singing over everyone with some repetitive word (ma, ma being the
most common).

2. Stomping and marching. Often this is happening with the first
behavior.

3. Thumbsucking/nose picking. I have had very little luck with
discouraging his thumbsucking (for now, he is not allowed to do it while
spending one-on-one time with us). He started putting his finger in his
nose while sucking his thumb a while back (maybe 4 or 5 months). It has
caused quite a bit of nose bleeds, but I haven't been able to get him to
stop.

My response on the first two have been to give him a warning with a
request to stop. If he starts doing it within a short period of time (5
minutes), he gets a time out (about four minutes). We have seen no
reduction in either behavior.

In regard to the third, other than general discouragement, I have only
dealt with the nose picking issue. I have cleaned his nose with a q-tip
and applied a very small amount of triple-antibiotic to the immediate
area (advice from the doctor). He really doesn't like the treatment,
but it doesn't seem to discourage the behavior.

I would really appreciate some new options to deal with him and any
information on developmental expectations, particularly in regard to his
impulsivity. I feel like the balance of our communication is beginning
to favor the negative interaction through the day. We are coasting
downhill to summer vacation when his older sisters (7 and 8) are around
all day and starting preschool in the fall.

Thanks,
Karen G

[Dawn]

No bright ideas to stop his behaviors, but it might help you gain
insight to keep a log of the behavior for a week or so. Suggested
columns - date, time, what happend right before, behavior that
happened, your response, his response

This will help you identify causes and possibly see subtle differences
in your responses, leading to what works best.

When Henry was about that age, we did this with his preschool when he
was having some aggressive behavior. We realized it was happening
like clockwork at two times of the day. We experimented with extra
recess/outside play time about a half hour before it happened and it
worked like a charm.

I'm not saying the same answer will work for you, but the log is
amazing in its ability to illuminate a situation like this,
particularly when you are so frustrated yourself that it's hard to
have perspective in the moment.

He does sound impulsive... as the mother of a kid with ADD my antennae
went up... perhaps worthwhile to discuss this with your pediatrician
as well. I wish we had known Henry was ADD at that age, rather than
waiting to have that diagnosis at age 9.

Good luck!

-Dawn
Mom to Henry, 14

[Karen G]

Dawn,

Keeping track of the behavior in a log style sounds fantastic. I am
going to start that immediately. He is going to be starting preschool
in the fall. I guess I am trying to pay better attention now so that
when I am dealing with behavior reports from preschool teachers, I have
a better idea what to do.

ADD question:
Did you 9 year old have issues with "knowing the rules", but not being
able to use them to guide his behavior in practice?

Thanks,
Karen