Sleigh damage
John P Sargeant
the roof, and when he leaves, he scrapes the trailer with the runners
on his sleigh, will there be coverage if I'm insured under an automobile
policy?
GR Inch
--
Kelly McHugh
Actually, smarty pants, it would be covered under the section of your
homeowner's policy known as the Extended Coverages, which covers damage caused
by vehicles (assuming Santa's sleigh would be classified as a private passenger
automobile!).
Merry Christmas!
Kelly McHugh
"He's gone where the good dogs go."
In memory of Seamus McHugh
July 1, 1992 -- October 27, 2000
Isabella N
I'd call that collision damage, but the subro would be tough . . . please refer
to the hit tune, "grandma got run over by a reindeer", readily available
through napster.com, where it is specifically contended: They should never
give a license to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.
"He who laughs last didn't get the joke."
dwane...@my-deja.com
policy it may fall under collision or UMPD and may be subrogable. If
this is a mobile home it may fall under your all risk policy for the
mobile home or if a named peril policy it may fall under the vehicle
peril or falling object peril. You may get a lawyer to sue Santa pro
bono since all the lawyer has gotten from Santa since becoming a lawyer
is probably lumps of coal and may want to get back at Santa. If you
are filing in Florida, look for many appeals from the defendant.
In article <3A303454...@julian.uwo.ca>,
John P Sargeant <sarg...@julian.uwo.ca> wrote:
> If Santa Claus lands on the roof of my trailer, and there is no snow
on
> the roof, and when he leaves, he scrapes the trailer with the runners
> on his sleigh, will there be coverage if I'm insured under an
automobile
> policy?
>
>
> --
>
>
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
adjus...@my-deja.com
John P Sargeant <sarg...@julian.uwo.ca> wrote:
> If Santa Claus lands on the roof of my trailer, and there is no snow
on
> the roof, and when he leaves, he scrapes the trailer with the runners
> on his sleigh, will there be coverage if I'm insured under an
automobile
> policy?
>
> GR Inch
Dear Mr. Inch,
You live in a TRAVEL TRAILER and you are worrying about scratches on
the roof? Come on. If you live in one of those you can't afford
physical damage coverage anyway. Case closed.
-- Cindy Lou Who
John P Sargeant
liability insurer the same as the Easter Bunny? Why should my insurance
pay when it's his fault? I know he's a saint and all, but that shouldn't
excuse him from paying for the damage he does to my trailer roof every
darn year. I can accept this for two or three Christmases, but there
isn't enough roofing sealant to cover the roofing sealant that I covered
the holes with the last two times. And besides I think it is really
thoughtless of the jolly old elf ( oh right) to make work for me on
Christmas day when I should be inside cooking the turkey. Does he invite
me to dinner? Does he even leave a note saying he's sorry and will send
the elves around, who by the way are not due to start working on
Christmas next year until Labour Day, to fix the roof. No he just flew
out of sight with "A Merry Christmas to all and to all a good Knight"
If he knows a knight, a righter of wrongs, a rescuer of person's in
distress, why wouldn't he send him around to fix my trailer roof?
When the Easter Bunny damaged my lawn by leaving "defacto" evidence in
small black round lumps, his insurer said that they would make a sweet
settement. I accepted the settlement, developed diabetes and am now
sueing the lawyer who suggested I accept the candy. I just don't want to
get into a spitting contest with Santa. I mean I guy could end up on the
wrong list.
And anyway what is it with Nick anyway? Why the roof, couldn't he land
on the tool shed or even on the pad next door? Why the roof? Should a
man that old and with obvious vision problems be allowed to fly? Where
is the FCC when we need them?
I need a life
GR Inch
--
Jeremy Instone
news:3A303454...@julian.uwo.ca...
> If Santa Claus lands on the roof of my trailer, and there is no snow on
> the roof, and when he leaves, he scrapes the trailer with the runners
> on his sleigh, will there be coverage if I'm insured under an automobile
> policy?
Whilst you have raised a serious concern, particularly as no one I have come
across admits to insuring Santa Claus. I do have some good news. According
to informed sources Santa Claus doesn't exist.
Apparently....
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of
living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects
and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only
Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since
Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Jewish and Buddist children, that
reduces the work load to 15% of the total - 378 million according to the
Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per
household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one
good child in each.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west
(which seems logical). This works out at 822.6 visits per second. This is to
say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th
of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the
stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever
snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into th sleigh and
move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops
are evenly distributed around the earth which of course, we all know to be
false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are
talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles,
not counting stops to what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours,
plus feeding etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000
times the speed of sound. For the purposes of comparison, the fastest
man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space pobe, moves at a poky 27.4
miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that
each child gets nothing more than a medium size lego set (2 pounds), the
sleigh is carry 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably
described as overweight. On land, the conventional reindeer can pull no more
than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could
pull TEN TIMES the nomal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even
nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even
counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison -
this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
5) 353,430 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a
spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer
will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short,
they will burst in flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer
behind them, and create a deafening sonic boom in their wake. The entire
reindeer team will be vapourised within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa,
meanwhile will be afected by cetrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than
gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pined to
the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Chistmas Eve, he's
dead now.
Isabella N
>living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects
>and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only
>Santa has ever seen.
I strongly suggest the possibility that Cheech & Chong's "magic dust" could
actually make normal reindeer fly.
>One presumes there's at least one
>good child in each.
>
That is a MAJOR presumption.
>This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000
>times the speed of sound.
Another assumption. For your information, Santa brought a time machine to my
son for Christmas several years ago. It closely resembled a large wooden box.
It was used. The actual control governing the time slides was broken, with a
letter from Santa himself. He uses these machines every year to help him
deliver, and allow the reindeer time to rest between long flights.
>Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could
>pull TEN TIMES the nomal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even
>nine.
No, but with above mentioned time machine, Santa can take breaks, and make
multiple trips, as long as he doesn't run into himself.
>In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Chistmas Eve, he's
>dead now.
Ah, unbeliever, you WISH!!!!
Isa
Cover Me
solution that will, I think, be to everyone's satisfaction.
I have a client that is a roofer and he does trailer roof-over work, as
well. He has agreed to come to Ontario and fix your roof personally. He
hasn't been a very good boy this year, and he figures he can probably use
the brownie points. He assures me that the work will be top-notch, so I can
personally guarantee that you will be happy with the results. He is fully
insured through our agency, of course.
As for the continuing damage caused by various altruistic visitors, I have
taken care of the problem. I have forwarded a complete description of your
complaints and pending legal action to Sa...@NorthPole.org,
Bu...@EasterVillage.com, Cu...@MyValentine.org and
Tooth...@DentalGrotto.com. I have some key contacts in these
organizations who asure me that your problem will receive *immediate*
attention. These guys talk to each other a good bit and trade names, too,
so I am sure that word will get around to all the other guys like St.
Patrick and the guys that handle Halloween.
I have been assured that none of these organizations nor their
representatives shall ever darken your door again, and they shan't besmirch
your yard or roof any further. Items that would normally be delivered to
your home will be taken to the Ninth Street Childrens' Shelter in Des
Moines. I trust that this will bring closure to this entire unpleasant
affair.
Trey Hutt
acting as attorney-in-fact for the above-named organizations
PS -- I had offerred that I would get the name of your attorney for their
records, as well, but I have been informed that all attorneys are already on
a *special* list. I won't bother to tell you which one; let's just say that
David Boies won't be getting that Chia Pet he wants. Incidentally, what
exactly does "persona non grata" mean?
Jeremy Instone
my
> son for Christmas several years ago. It closely resembled a large wooden
box.
> It was used. The actual control governing the time slides was broken,
with a
> letter from Santa himself. He uses these machines every year to help him
> deliver, and allow the reindeer time to rest between long flights.
Didn't resemble a blue police box that was occupied by some old timer, think
that might of been doctor Who <g>
> No, but with above mentioned time machine, Santa can take breaks, and make
> multiple trips, as long as he doesn't run into himself.
>
> >In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Chistmas Eve, he's
> >dead now.
>
> Ah, unbeliever, you WISH!!!!
For the next few weeks with 2 neices and 3 nephews, I'm a very definite
believer :)
Member Services
or shampoo the Dalmatian in his rucksack.
"John P Sargeant" <sarg...@julian.uwo.ca> wrote in message
news:3A303454...@julian.uwo.ca...
If Santa Claus lands on the roof of my trailer, and there is no snow on
the roof, and when he leaves, he scrapes the trailer with the runners
on his sleigh, will there be coverage if I'm insured under an automobile
policy?
GR Inch
--