You Know the Day..15 year old Vent
Deborah & Mike
It's that Day again. I thought I'd get over it. I'm 45 now. Single.
Not much hope there? But my dream is having a hard time dying. My ex
(the one I with whom I shared 10 years of unexplained infertility, 3
IVFs, and four years as presidents of local RESOLVE chapter) is now
remarried and has a least (that I know of) one child..(so much for the
unexplained part...). I wonder if he remembers everything that we (I)
went through on this day. Now he can celebrate it with the mother of
his child. You know how hard it is to go to the store on M.D., when they
try to give you a rose until you tell them you're not a mother, and then
they snatch it away? Well, here I am, seven years after I actively
stopped trying, and I insisted my boyfriend and I grocery shop yesterday
so that we can avoid any M.D. stuff...he pays the bill...as we get
through the check out line, and on our way out, she says good bye to us,
calls me Mrs.Hislastname, and tells me to have a happy mother's day. It
doesn't hurt like it used to...My boyfriend's son is 17 and I love him
dearly..but I'm not his Mom. Today he was supposed to spend with her
for M.D., but she decided she wanted to go to a dog show instead...God,
if she only realized how many of us would like to be in her shoes...oh
well, sorry for the long post...I didn't know where else to turn.
Thanks for listening.
Deborah
T and Me
Wow - I can almost relate. We just found out a few days ago that my
husband's EX has two kids now. Not exactly the same scenario, but
still... It made me really sad thinking how he'd already have two
little babies (though they wouldn't be as cute ;) ) if he had stayed
with her.
But what made me feel okay today was that my husband gave me a
mother's day card from our doggie. She's our baby, and it was kinda
cool that he thinks of me as a mom to our dog. (I'll probably get
flamed for this, but our dog *is* our family!)
Melissa
deannnaa
I agree completely. My two dogs "my boys" are the
only children I have, or may ever be able to have.
I only wish they could live as long as humans.
===========Deanna in SD CA, 5/13/96
==========T and Me, 5/12/96==========
Deborah & Mike
tazm...@syix.com wrote:
> The only thing I can do is feed my dog all the ***** (censored due to
> fact I can't advertise here. E-mail to find out) I can, and know she'll
> be healthier, and live longer because of it. :) They are of great
> comfort when feeling upset. They usually sense it, and come over, and
> get you to play, or pet them. What empathic friends!
>
> Kristen
> tazm...@syix.com
Yes, I agree all. It's me, the originator of this post...I lived
through MD, and I know my dogs were what got me through part of it. My
friend used to call them my "dog-ters". My first Afghan I got was when
my ex and I were going through our first IVF (She's 10 now...God I'm
old). At the time, People magazine was following us around wanting to
do a piece on infertility, and they were holding the article till they
could get some celebrity to "come out". But, it wasn't cool then, so
no one would fess up. So, they ran the article on just us, and after a
year of interviews, they sent out a photographer the day before my IVF.
He took a photo of us while I was lying on the floor, my stomach was so
uncomfortable with so many ripe eggs, this was the only position I could
comfortably be in...I was petting Panda. I had told them that one of
the reasons I wanted to get Panda then was because I knew I would be so
obsessed with whether or not I was pg during those waiting weeks. I
thought she would give me something else to think about. They ran the
photo. The caption read "blah..blah..here is Debbie with Panda who she
got so she could think about something besides herself...." Ah, the
media. Well, she's extra special to me cuz she went through three IVFs
with me, and now were both still childless! She and my other "dog-ter"
are what I got from the relationship...I got the kids...but no child
support. Thanks all for your kind words!
Deborah
J. VanBeek
T and Me wrote:
>
> Wow - I can almost relate. We just found out a few days ago that my
> husband's EX has two kids now. Not exactly the same scenario, but
> still... It made me really sad thinking how he'd already have two
> little babies (though they wouldn't be as cute ;) ) if he had stayed
> with her.
>
> But what made me feel okay today was that my husband gave me a
> mother's day card from our doggie. She's our baby, and it was kinda
> cool that he thinks of me as a mom to our dog. (I'll probably get
> flamed for this, but our dog *is* our family!)
>
> Melissa
Melissa,
You are not the only one who considers your dog a baby..most of us infertiles do! My hubby took me out to celebrate being our collies Mommy.
Someone on the N.G. said (i think the thread was "a good story") that the dictionary claimed a nuturing figure without blood relation could be
considered a mother! If anyone flames you tell me and I'll have a talk with them!!:-)
Jerri (and Jim and Juliet and Jamocha)