Stella Awards
Gus
It's time once again to consider the candidates for the 2003
Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella
Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued
McDonalds.
That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most uniquely
successful lawsuits in the United States for last year.
The following are this year's candidates:
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a
jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler
who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store
were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering th! e
misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel
of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he
had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to
get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door
connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The
family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in
the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he
found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's
insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish.
The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and
medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next
door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's
fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt
the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr.
Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft
drink and broke her coccyx! (tailbone). The beverage was on the
floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
earlier during an argument.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of
a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom
window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This
occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window
in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was
awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-
foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven
onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly
left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup
of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and
overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in
the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury
awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually
changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case
there were any other complete morons buying their recreation
vehicles.
.
(VP, National Common Sense Party of the Returning National Identity within
Reason of the Human Condition) NCSPRNIRHC
LadyMackSez
Somebody didn't put enough in the gene pool.
number one super guy
>
>Bleach.
>
>Somebody didn't put enough in the gene pool.
In this case, I'd say the genes that need culled are yours, as you are an
idiot.
Oh, Gus? You're an idiot, too. It's rare you meet someone who is both gullible
and cynical, but you two manage. Throw in ignorant and conceited, well, you
clowns win an award of your own.
Tortuous Torts
Claim: Six real lawsuits showcase the need for tort reform.
Status: False.
Example: [Collected on the Internet, 2001]
This is what's wrong with the world:
1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000.00 by
a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
running amuck inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving tyke was
Ms. Robertson's son.
2. June 1998: A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000.00 and
medical expenses when his neighbor ran his hand over with a Honda Accord. Mr.
Truman apparently didn't notice someone was at the wheel of the car whose
hubcap he was trying to steal.
3. October 1998: A Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was exiting a house
he finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage
door to go up, because the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He
couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage
locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, so Mr. Dickson found
himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he
found, and a large bag of dry dog food. This upset Mr. Dickson, so he sued the
homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish.
The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars and change.
4. October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500.00
and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in yard, as
was Mr. Williams. The award was less than sought after because the jury felt
the dog may have been provoked by Mr. Williams who, at the time, was shooting
it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
5. May 2000: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500.00 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink
and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it
at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
6. December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner
of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to
the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton
was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the
$3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000.00 and dental expenses.
"Origins: This "and you wonder what's wrong with the world today?" whinge
appeared on the Internet in May 2001. All of the entries in the list are
fabrications -- a search for news stories about each of these cases failed to
turn up anything, as did a search for each law case. "
http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.htm
Some versions of this list include two items that are obviously urban legends,
the microwaved poodle, which Gus's admittedly doesn't, but upon which an Ohio
Supreme Court Justice campaigned for tort reform.
http://www.ohiocitizen.org/moneypolitics/parody.htm
However, the cruise control legend is fairly shoddy.
7. And just so you know that cooler heads do occasionally prevail: Kenmore
Inc., the makers of Dorothy Johnson's microwave, were found not liable for the
death of Mrs. Johnson's poodle after she gave it a bath and attempted to dry it
by putting the poor creature in her microwave for, "just a few minutes, on
low," The case was quickly dismissed.
In November 2000, Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor
home. On his first trip home, having joined the freeway, he set the cruise
control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make
himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the Winnie left the freeway, crashed
and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the
handbook that he could not actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a
new Winnebago.
http://www.snopes.com/autos/techno/cruise.asp
--
."Hey, look, Spot, I've captured another crook single-handed, dry or damp I'm
still the champ."
Sue in El Paso
> It's time once again to consider the candidates for the 2003
> Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella
> Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued
> McDonalds.
>
> That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most uniquely
> successful lawsuits in the United States for last year.
>
> The following are this year's candidates:
>
> /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>
>
> /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>
> This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of
> Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-
> foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven
> onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly
> left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup
> of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and
> overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in
> the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury
> awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually
> changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case
> there were any other complete morons buying their recreation
> vehicles.
>
>
> .
> (VP, National Common Sense Party of the Returning National Identity within
> Reason of the Human Condition) NCSPRNIRHC
Could be the favorite, but won't win.
1) It came out a year ago.
2) It never happened. http://www.snopes.com/autos/techno/cruise.asp
- Sue
Gus
>1) It came out a year ago.
>2) It never happened. http://www.snopes.com/autos/techno/cruise.asp
>
>- Sue
>
::::::; sigh :::::; spoil all the fun......
TOMNDEBB
http://www.stellaawards.com/
However, they do make the effort to display the actual facts of the Stella
Liebeck story (leaving it to the reader to judge the story):
http://www.stellaawards.com/stella.html
They also have a page on which they list wholly bogus stories that they
specifically indicate «never happened». (Guess which page has been copied
directly into the e-mail glurge circuit (after stripping off the notice that
they are false)?
http://www.stellaawards.com/bogus.html
Anyone wishing to be apprised of odd court settlements can sign up at the
Stella site, from which they will e-mail you odd cases as they are reported.
Tom~
LadyMackSez
>
> In this case, I'd say the genes that need culled are yours, as you are an
>idiot.
>
>Oh, Gus? You're an idiot, too. It's rare you meet someone who is both
>gullible
>and cynical, but you two manage. Throw in ignorant and conceited, well, you
>clowns win an award of your own.
Aw, c'mon, tell us how you really feel. Don't hold back.
Keep it brief tho, because I want to cross stitch it on a pillow.
It would mean SO much to me...
PMccabe101
the knife, Dr.Sue, Mike, Stephemon and the rest of you smart&funny folks have
returned (and it is good to see you too Goff). Where were ya?
That said was Geo. really complaining about ad hominems?
Now if someone could just get Ian,Jon , Judy, Lilith, Tuba, Cybers, Andrea,
Qpen and the rest of the smart&funny crowd of old, as well as Otto to
return...On the other hand I am thankful that the worst idiots and their sock
puppets have left.
the poster formerly known as Quarterat
number one super guy
>Aw, c'mon, tell us how you really feel. Don't hold back.
>Keep it brief tho, because I want to cross stitch it on a pillow.
>It would mean SO much to me...
Why is it so hard to just say "well, heh heh, you got me. Make sure brain is in
gear before engaging mouth, eh? heh heh," or um...you know, even just something
like "ooo! You! Curse you! I'll get you next time, Dutch Courage!!!" and shake
your fist at the monitor and be done with it?
Do you think it makes you look better to act like I'm the one who fucked up?
Don't worry, you'll get 'em some day, tiger.
number one super guy
>First let me say how much better this board is since Geo. , Tom, Bermuda,
>Mack
>the knife, Dr.Sue, Mike, Stephemon and the rest of you smart&funny folks
>have
>returned (and it is good to see you too Goff). Where were ya?
>
>That said was Geo. really complaining about ad hominems?
I don't do ad hominems. I offer constructive personal criticism. I mean, I
think we can all admit that O. really was an exotic species of fruitbat at this
late date, eh?
>Now if someone could just get Ian,Jon , Judy,
I think I miss her most of all
> Lilith, Tuba, Cybers, Andrea,
>Qpen and the rest of the smart&funny crowd of old, as well as Otto to
>return...On the other hand I am thankful that the worst idiots and their sock
>puppets have left.
>the poster formerly known as Quarterat
Not to be confused with TKSlaughter, the screen name.
PMccabe101
> I don't do ad hominems. I offer constructive personal criticism.
well ok if "yo mamma" is constructive criticism ... but dont stop it's your
finest quality
I mean, I
>think we can all admit that O.
Otto?
>really was an exotic species of fruitbat
is this a sexual slur?
> at
>this
>late date, eh?
>
LadyMackSez
>From: mutigho...@aol.comhiyah (number one super guy)
>Date: 1/26/03 3:45 PM Central Standard Time
>Message-id: <20030126164515...@mb-fd.aol.com>
>
> ladym...@aol.com (LadyMackSez) writes:
>
>>Aw, c'mon, tell us how you really feel. Don't hold back.
>>Keep it brief tho, because I want to cross stitch it on a pillow.
>>It would mean SO much to me...
>
>Why is it so hard to just say "well, heh heh, you got me. Make sure brain is
>in
>gear before engaging mouth, eh? heh heh," or um...you know, even just
>something
>like "ooo! You! Curse you! I'll get you next time, Dutch Courage!!!" and
>shake
>your fist at the monitor and be done with it?
>
> Do you think it makes you look better to act like I'm the one who fucked up?
>
>Don't worry, you'll get 'em some day, tiger.
>
No, I didn't Snopes it before replying.
Damn. Shame on me.
I'll leave calling other people idiots to you.
*slaps self on hand*
"Bad hand..Bad BAD hand..stay away from the keyboard..."
number one super guy
>> I don't do ad hominems. I offer constructive personal criticism.
>
>well ok if "yo mamma" is constructive criticism
Well, no, but it's not ad hominem, either. It's just me being a wiseguy. I
don't seek to discredit John Cyberian because his mother is so fat she jumped
up in the air and got stuck, I'd just say something like that because he's
already been thoroughly discredited and is now mainly valuable for the
entertainment he can provide. He turned up in AFCA a year or so ago, and I
started a thing where...well, gooja on "your mother told me to tell you..." I
do think that's very different from "obviously this man's argument is unsound,
he's lithuanian."
> I mean, I
>>think we can all admit that O.
>
>Otto?
You know, if you don't make an immediate and obvious connection between the
letter O and the phrase "fruitbat," I'm really going to wonder how much time
you spent reading our dear old SDMB.
On the other hand, I see Otto went Libertarian, which is fairly amusing.
number one super guy
>Heh heh you got me.
>No, I didn't Snopes it before replying.
>Damn. Shame on me.
Good girl. really, this is outstanding.
>I'll leave calling other people idiots to you.
Well, sure, for right now, you know, stay in the shallow end, where it's safe,
yeah. I think if you watch and learn and study, you know, you'll be able to
sneer with the best of 'em, though, and there are few headier joys life has to
offer.
Sue in El Paso
I would also point out that the Stella Awards are a project of Randy
Cassingham, who pubishes <a href="http://www.thisistrue.com/">This Is
True</a> a great newsletter I signed up for over 5 years ago, based
upon the recommendation of someone from the old AOL SDMB.
- Sue
Gus
something is posted that it indicates that the poster backs it especially when
it is something like the "STELLA !!!!!!" he he he
Why do people insist on "re-SNOPESing" things that have been proven time and
time again are urban legends?
Of course I have never made a mistake well maybe one unlike George who never
has been wrong and keeps wanting people to stay in the shallow end with him.
::: sheesh ::::
Bawhahahahaha
number one super guy
>
>What I find amusing is that people here still assume that just because
>something is posted that it indicates that the poster backs it especially
>when
>it is something like the "STELLA !!!!!!" he he he
Well, you know, if you were trolling, you sure got me. But you have to admit,
your usual stance on stuff kind of makes "will you look at this? This is what's
wrong with the world today!" and "(VP, National Common Sense Party of the
Returning National Identity within
Reason of the Human Condition) NCSPRNIRHC," I seem to recall you passing around
the "moral turpitude among congressmen" thing uncritically, so...
>Why do people insist on "re-SNOPESing" things that have been proven time and
>time again are urban legends?
You also have to keep in mind that people like LadyMack will believe just
about anything, so don't just say things.
>Of course I have never made a mistake well maybe one unlike George who never
>has been wrong
oh, i've been wrong many times. I try to be, you know, gracious about it. Look
above where I say if you were just trolling I was sure gracious about it.
LadyMackSez
>about anything, so don't just say things.
((Wrong))
>
>>Of course I have never made a mistake well maybe one unlike George who never
>>has been wrong
>
> oh, i've been wrong many times. I try to be, you know, gracious about it.
((Mark another one down))
>Look
>above where I say if you were just trolling I was sure gracious about it.
((You just need a kitten))
Gus
> oh, i've been wrong many times. I try to be, you know, gracious about it.
>Look
>above where I say if you were just trolling I was sure gracious about it.
I have known your on line personna for a long time George.
Bawahahahahahaha
Anthony McCafferty
(LadyMackSez) writes:
>((You just need a kitten))
I think the ricin got her.
Sue in El Paso
> What I find amusing is that people here still assume that just because
> something is posted that it indicates that the poster backs it especially when
> it is something like the "STELLA !!!!!!" he he he
>
> Why do people insist on "re-SNOPESing" things that have been proven time and
> time again are urban legends?
>
Stella Award nominees as examples of ULs, since you didn't bother to
post any original words in your OP here - just C&P'd the spam you got
in your e-mail without any comment or thoughts expressed.
Forgive me, I guess I slept through mind-reading 101 to know just what
your point was in posting that. Come to think of it, I still don't
know.
- Sue
Gus
>Date: 1/28/03 12:49 AM Central Standard Time
>Message-id: <6eee2bb2.0301272249.3bbe58
>Forgive me, I guess I slept through mind-reading 101 to know just what
>your point was in posting that. Come to think of it, I still don't
>know.
>
>- Sue
>
Well Sue, there is new life in this board now.
I stated the intent to try to bring it back sometime ago.
I am sorry all my posts are not up to your standards of clarity.
You are right, I should never argue with or explain anything or defend myself
from the accusations of my superiors.
Bwahahahahhaah
rich
thought I might find an answer. The Straight Dope has been out of
action for 2 days now; are they kaput??
gusn...@aol.comment (Gus) wrote in message news:<20030128121548...@mb-fc.aol.com>...
Sue in El Paso
> This isn't related to the thread, but this is the only place where I
> thought I might find an answer. The Straight Dope has been out of
> action for 2 days now; are they kaput??
>
A water pipe burst and damaged some of the T1 cable. They hoped to be
up by this morning, but weren't, so it's anybody's guess when they
will be.
- Sue
MeadowMan2
>You are right, I should never argue with or explain anything or defend myself
>from the accusations of my superiors.
Superiors? We have superiors? Where?
TR
Rich Clancey
+ Anyone wishing to be apprised of odd court settlements can sign up at the
+ Stella site, from which they will e-mail you odd cases as they are reported.
Whether they actually happened or not...
--
rich clancey r...@world.std.com
Rich Clancey
+ In article <20030128011033...@mb-mo.aol.com>, ladym...@aol.com
+ (LadyMackSez) writes:
+>((You just need a kitten))
+ I think the ricin got her.
I think the Rice-A-Roni got her.
--
rich clancey r...@world.std.com
LadyMackSez
>+>((You just need a kitten))
>
>+ I think the ricin got her.
>
> I think the Rice-A-Roni got her.
>
Nope.
It was the kudzu.
Sue in El Paso
> TOMNDEBB <tomn...@aol.comnetorg> wrote:
> + Anyone wishing to be apprised of odd court settlements can sign up at the
> + Stella site, from which they will e-mail you odd cases as they are reported.
>
> Whether they actually happened or not...
Do you have an example of a case actually sent out by the Stella
Awards site, and not some knockoff, that is fabricated? This site, as
well as others put up by Randy Cassingham (Heroic Stories and This Is
True), have a very good reputation for accuracy and humor.
- Sue