song lyrics
Thomas Blankenstein
as a German songwriter who's mother tongue isn't English, I'm facing
the following problem: Although I do not seriously think about
publishing my music, I still want to make my recordings in correct
English. Maybe you can imagine what it feels like when you have spent
weeks and months in the studio and each time you listen to your CD,
you notice one and the same grammatical mistake over and over again...
So I wanted to ask you, if you would check my lyrics for linguistic
correctness or if you can recommend a better forum for that. I've been
to a songwriting group with that issue and the fellows there are real
nice people, but most of them did not really refer to possible
language errors but rather to things like song structure, meter,
semantic patterns, rhyme schemes and so on.
If I posted my lyrics here, be sure that the meter is okay - or at
least: that it goes pretty well with the tunes I have written. You also
should not bother too much about the story behind the songs - as some
have
deeper meanings, others are nonsense songs.
I'd ask you then to correct what a native English speaker would never
say or find at least "strange" in a way. I might have made use of some
inversions or something similar, and in some cases I'm gonna keep my
words as long as say are only "bad style" and not "totally wrong"...
If I'm right here, I'll post about ten song lyrics for you to check,
and if you don't mind, I'll put each one in a new thread. Well, that's
gonna cause relatively much traffic, but this would be only once as
those ten songs are kinda everything I've written throughout the last
three years. So, in the future, there wouldn't be more than one or
two new lyrics a week - if at all.
So, anyone interested in checking my lyrics?
Thomas
CyberCypher
news:a7gcg8$l1u1j$1...@ID-42748.news.dfncis.de:
[...]
> So, anyone interested in checking my lyrics?
> Thomas
>
I'd be willing to give it a go if you posted them one at a time, just
so we could see whether the lyrics are interesting enough to spend the
time on.
--
Franke
Thomas Blankenstein
The first song is actually a nonsense tune, as the folks at RMMS started in
inofficial challenge to compose a song to the strange title "Six Feet And A
Stone". So here's my vesrion of it:
SIX FEET AND A STONE
words & music by Thomas Blankenstein
Six feet and a stone
Seen them in town when they were walkin' all alone.
I froze, got the phone
When six feet were steppin' in an anti-parking zone.
I swore, "It's true.
Believe me, no, I haven't drunk.
I don't know what to do!"
That's when the other side hang up and I was in a funk - aah!
Six feet and a stone
Got an over-dose of a growth hormone.
Each one already grown
Six foot high and it was goin' on.
I got down on my knees
And pleading I began to pray
The whole town smells like cheese
Oh Lord I hope you hear me know and send them all away - yeah!
chorus:
Six feet and a rolling stone.
Six feet and a rolling stone.
Six feet and a rolling stone.
Six feet and a rolling stone.
Six feet, six feet, six feet.
And a rolling stone.
Six feet, six feet,
Six feet and a stone.
Six feet and a stone
Seemed as if they wanted to make the world their own.
Bad news - quickly sown.
On television giant footprints were shown.
"Keep cool, they're just feet",
I heard a politician say.
But outside in the street,
They trampeled on anything that came in their way!
Six feet and a stone
Had a celebration in a place well-known.
Forced me to intone
The Big Foot Anthem, so I played the trombone.
I couldn't know that from the sound
The giant feet were going wild
And they would grow, high as a mount,
Their shadows fell upon me, I was helpless like child!
(repeat chorus)
Six feet, really stoned,
“King Foot I” was already enthroned.
Six feet and a stone,
Feelin' kinda lonely, so they started to clone.
A hundred feet and a rock
Came to me in early spring
I must admit it was a shock
When suddenly a ghost appeared and started to sing:
Six feet and a stone
Didn't accept me as the King of Rock 'n' Roll.
I lived on my own,
My only real friend was my alcohol.
Hard steps from outside,
Believe me, I was terrified.
Six feet came at night
And now the world knows how I really died! <scream>
(repeat chorus)
Six feet and a stone
Made me stay up at night although I had to yawn.
I wrote every tone
And then I multilated the microphone - uearrgh!
Six feet had found me, too.
They said they came from RMMS.
Irene's the one to sue
She set up all the challenge, so this song is for her - yes!
(repeat chorus to fade)
Well, the next song, called friends, is a very personal one and for me the
most important one I've written so far:
FRIENDS
words & music by Thomas Blankenstein
Another cold and cloudy day,
The sun is hidin', but I'm safe.
And now I find no words to say,
To tell you what I'm feeling - for you.
The storm is dancing through the night,
The rhythm tells me it is raining.
And the moon is out of sight,
But there's no need to feel alone.
For you told me you'd be by my side
Whenever I'm in need,
Oh yes, you promised to catch me when I fall
And if I broke down on my own,
You told me where to go.
And you would be there - for me,
You would stay there - for me,
You would wait there - for me.
You let me look so deep inside,
And you would never close your door.
But every song that I will write,
You will have known each one before.
Because you read me like an open book,
With every page you turn, I know,
You heal me, with every word you say.
So when I lose myself in troubles
And don't know who I am
Would you reveal me when you're there?
I won't conceal me - I swear.
Heal me - with you care.
We're livin' in a world
Where just the strongest can succeed.
But you're the one I need.
With you - I can let myself be weak.
Birds are singing in the sky,
The sun's returning after years.
My broken wings could make me cry,
But as you're dryin' all my tears,
I make my promise not to leave you, girl,
The least that I could give,
For all your comfort,
For everything you’ve done - to me.
So call me up at midnight
Or anytime you please
And I will be there - for you,
I'll give you shelter – it’s true,
I'll stay there - for you.
Oh, I will be there - for you,
I'll always be there - for you.
I'll stay there - for you.
I will wait there - for you.
Okay, the next one is an older one - as you may notice redarding the topic
;-) Imagine it as a punk rock song:
WHY DOES SHE LOVE YOU
words & music by Thomas Blankenstein
I know a girl and she is so fantastic,
She’s greater than your greatest dream.
Her eyes are diamonds and her hair is golden,
She’s sweeter than the sweetest cream.
And she is so lovely, she’s so kind,
She looks so very fine.
My heart is stumbling when I’m thinkin’ about her,
Oh, I wish that she was mine.
But last night, she told me ‘bout her brand new boy-friend,
The cutest guy she ever did see.
She met him in the park and she gave him her number
She never gave her number to me!
And he’s so handome, he’s so cute,
I couldn’t believe it’s true.
Cause when she finally told me then the name of that guy
I had to see: The guy was you!
chorus 1:
Why does she love you? I don’t understand it.
She loves you, but I don’t know why.
Of course I know that I’m not so splendid,
But better than the other guy.
And after I had told her that you’ve been my classmate
And quite a friend of mine,
She wanted to know everything about your nature,
Your character and even your sign!
I said that you were quite alright,
Helpful, good and nice.
God only knows what was up with me
That I made up all those lies.
chorus 2:
Why does she love you? I don’t understand it.
She loves you, but I don’t know why.
I can’t deny that I’m quite offended
And now she’s passing by
Sha-la-la-laa, sha-la-la-lee, shabm-di-uap-doobm-doo (2x)
I can’t believe that every girl
Is taken in by you.
I wonder what makes you so irresistible
But I still don’t have a clue
chorus 3:
Why does she love you? I don’t understand it.
She loves you – Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Of course that’s not what I have intended
And now you stroke her hair
She keeps on asking me about your past,
About the girl that you have parted with.
And then I know whatever you have done to that girl
May never happen to my Miss!
I tell her that she was also blond,
Naïve and her eyes were blue.
And when I see you two weeks later, then I wonder
If she’s still in love with you.
And when I see you two weeks later, ooh, I wonder
If she’s still in love with you.
Now, let's have a look at the following dancable Irish folk piece - as it
can be heard in Irish pubs and so on. Pay attention the fantastaic fiddle:
WHERE IS THE MUSIC
words & music by Thomas Blankenstein
Where is the music that we used to sing and play?
Where are the songs turning night into day?
Where is the feeling that should never go away?
Oh, fill my glass, I just want to stay.
I’ve been to many playces all around this world,
I’ve seen the beauties of many pretty girls,
And there is still a thing I need today, but don’t be afraid,
I won’t asked for diamonds or pearls. But where is the music...
I remember all the times we used to dance
When all the boys would take the girls by the hands.
And there would always be a couple that won’t forget that night,
The magic of real romance. So where is the music...
(fiddle intermezzo)
The older boys would be hanging at the bar,
Drinkin’ wine, burbon, Whiskey In The Jar.
And they would tell from their memories and other fairy-tales
What heroes they really are. So where is the music...
(fiddle intermezzo)
Now the silence is a slap in my face,
I can’t deny that I’m really in a maze.
But there is still a kind of silver lining out in the night
That music returns to this place. Where is the music...
(repeat chorus while fiddeling various soli all the time...)
Here's a sad song:
WHERE ARE YOU
words & music by Thomas Blankenstein
It’s six o’ clock in the evening,
Your steps are weak and slow.
You can’t remember the sun anymore
You’re again the last to go.
Now you’re walking down a lonely road,
The winter’s breakin’ in.
And the emptiness around
Is getting colder.
Lonely days we have spent there
Without you by our side
Without your songs, your jokes and your smile
That lightened up the night.
And now I’m listening to your tape again,
A young and hopeful voice
Is still today reflecting
In the silence.
chorus:
Where are you? Where are now?
Can you hear your fellows call you? Oh, they need you now.
All your life, castles in the air.
Tell me now, are you there?
I won’t forget the picture,
You shiver as you walk.
The big boy is embaressed again
By all their fancy talk.
And your hair was much too long they said,
They didn’t like your voice.
Did you never feel the grace
That you were special?
(repeat chorus)
They always called you listless.
It’s never what it seems.
Your mind was on a magical trip
To far and distant dreams.
And then you’d sing you are a dreamer,
But you’re not the only one.
Imagine, my old friend,
It was true.
(repeat chorus)
modified chorus:
Where are you now? (Ooh) Where are you now?
Have you ever thought of all the friends you’re letting down?
All our dreams, wonderful and great,
Won’t come back (won’t come back) – too late!
(orchestral intermezzo)
Remember times when we sat there
With music, grass and wine.
A witty guy would share all his dreams,
Two lively eyes would shine.
And you said you’d never write a sad song,
Life was much too short.
Could we ever know how short
Your life would be?
(instrumental chorus)
And although they often laughed at you
It never was your fault.
This world was not a place for you
To live on.
What about this one:
DEMONS IN THE SKY
words & music by Thomas Blankenstein
Another day goes by and he looks into the cloudy sky,
But the sun is always hiding somewhere else where he’s not.
He doesn’t need to cry, there are heavy raindrops in his eye
And an old guitar is everything he’s got.
And now he’s lost once again, the cold November rain
Is pouring icey water on his brain.
He can’t explain what for he’s been staying at the record store
The entire day, and everything he’s seen
Were faces they adore and for ages he’s been praying for
That one day his face will be inbetween.
And now he plays in the rain, he’s drowning all his pain
For a while, takin’ shelter in a song.
And tomorrow when he wakes up, it will be the same again.
And the clouds will be like demons in the sky
But he knows he keeps on fighting whatever keeps him down
And one day his name will be in lights.
He’s back at work again for he’s said to be a workin’ man
But his real works are somewhere in his head.
He can’t believe it’s true, all the useless things he has to do
When he could do lots of uselful things instead.
And now he stamps, what a deed, the last thing he could need,
Three thousand letters people will not read.
And tomorrow when he wakes up, it will be the same again.
And the clouds will be like demons in the sky
But he’ll never be discouraged, no matter what they say
And one day his name will be in lights.
And after work he’ll see all the pretty guys on M.T.V.
Singin’ songs that they weree playing twenty years ago.
He shakes his aching head, their hopping and dancing drive him mad
But his feelings nobody will ever know.
Like a perch on the shore whose crying from his core
But the water doesn’t reach him anymore.
And tomorrow when he wakes up, it will be the same again.
And the clouds will be like demons in the sky
But there’s something in the silence that tells him to go on.
Cause one day his name will be in lights.
(intermezzo)
And every Monday night when he looks into the yellow light,
He opens up his soul and sings a song for a while.
A calm and lovely face, who is always coming to this place,
Gets lost in all his poems with a smile.
And then she’s whispering his name, the picture of her flame
Is standing by her records in a frame.
And tomorrow when he wakes up, it will never be the same
When the sun is shining brightly in the sky
And the birds are singin’ sweetly like voices never sang
And a friendly heart is beating by his side.
Tomorrow when he wakes up, they will never be the same
When the sun is shining brightly in the sky
And the birds are singing sweetly, the sweetest songs they know
And loving hearts are beating side by side.
I'll finish this post with a tune for a nice person, but lyrics still
should not be taken too seriously ;-)
YOU WERE THE ONE
words & music by Thomas Blankenstein
The day is nearly over and I’m starin’ on an empty page.
And my aim to write a song seems so far away.
Then the moon silently whispers your name.
So here’s the song that now for you I frame.
Remember all the nights when we would sing and worship and pray
When Dave would take his guitar and start to play.
And Jesus shining right through your eyes.
There was no denying that I found you nice.
You were the one I’d been waitin’ for, a lifetime or even two.
I never knew I girl that was as sweet as you.
Could have been so easy if you had felt the same way, too,
If you’d simply shared the feelings I was feeling just for you.
And every morning, we were chewing on our rubber toast.
Didn’t like the marmite but what I loved most
Was the girl that always was so kind
And all the day your smile was on my mind.
Then in town, I tried to catch your eye
But you were holding hands with another guy...
Oh, you were the one I’d been waitin’ for, a lifetime or even two.
Now that you were walking away, I didn’t know what to do.
Almost had been thinking that it could not get no worse.
Then I heard the lovely sounds of checkered men in skirts!
(bagpipe chorus to fade)
Okay, thanx in advance for checking the lyrics. Once again, don't care
about structural aspects of my songs, as long as you don't know the tunes
:-)
Thomas
CyberCypher
news:a7hpch$lgiej$1...@ID-42748.news.dfncis.de:
> Okay, so here we go!
>
> The first song is actually a nonsense tune, as the folks at RMMS
> started in inofficial challenge to compose a song to the strange
> title "Six Feet And A Stone". So here's my vesrion of it:
>
> SIX FEET AND A STONE
> words & music by Thomas Blankenstein
>
> Six feet and a stone
> Seen them in town when they were walkin' all alone.
> I froze, got the phone
> When six feet were steppin' in an anti-parking zone.
> I swore, "It's true.
> Believe me, no, I haven't drunk.
"I am not drunk"
> I don't know what to do!"
> That's when the other side hang up and I was in a funk - aah!
"the other side hung up"
These are the only suggestions I have for the first lyric.
More later
--
Franke
CyberCypher
Here's #2
[...]
> FRIENDS
> words & music by Thomas Blankenstein
>
> Another cold and cloudy day,
> The sun is hidin', but I'm safe.
> And now I find no words to say,
> To tell you what I'm feeling - for you.
>
> The storm is dancing through the night,
> The rhythm tells me it is raining.
Maybe "that it's raining" would be more natural English.
> And the moon is out of sight,
> But there's no need to feel alone.
> For you told me you'd be by my side
> Whenever I'm in need,
> Oh yes, you promised to catch me when I fall
> And if I broke down on my own,
> You told me where to go.
> And you would be there - for me,
> You would stay there - for me,
> You would wait there - for me.
>
> You let me look so deep inside,
> And you would never close your door.
> But every song that I will write,
> You will have known each one before.
> Because you read me like an open book,
> With every page you turn, I know,
> You heal me, with every word you say.
> So when I lose myself in troubles
> And don't know who I am
> Would you reveal me when you're there?
> I won't conceal me - I swear.
> Heal me - with you care.
It's probably just a typo, but that should be "your care", right?
>
> We're livin' in a world
> Where just the strongest can succeed.
> But you're the one I need.
> With you - I can let myself be weak.
>
> Birds are singing in the sky,
> The sun's returning after years.
> My broken wings could make me cry,
> But as you're dryin' all my tears,
> I make my promise not to leave you, girl,
> The least that I could give,
> For all your comfort,
> For everything you’ve done - to me.
> So call me up at midnight
> Or anytime you please
> And I will be there - for you,
> I'll give you shelter – it’s true,
> I'll stay there - for you.
> Oh, I will be there - for you,
> I'll always be there - for you.
> I'll stay there - for you.
> I will wait there - for you.
>
--
Franke
Thomas Blankenstein
thanx so far for the corrections :-)
Two questions left concerning the first song:
CyberCypher schrieb:
> > That's when the other side hang up and I was in a funk - aah!
>
> "the other side hung up"
1) could you also say: "... and left me in a funk"?
2) Later in the song, I mention "King Foot I". How do English people
read that? "King Foot One", or "King Foot, the First"? I actually wanted
it to be "... one" for reasons of meter. So is that possible?
Thomas
Thomas Blankenstein
> > Would you reveal me when you're there?
> > I won't conceal me - I swear.
At this point, some guy told me, that it is "I won't conceal myself...".
If so, I'll get horrible problems with the meter. So, is "conceal me"
just bad style - which I hope as you haven't corrected that line - or
completely wrong, so that I must change it?
> > Heal me - with you care.
> It's probably just a typo, but that should be "your care", right?
Oh... sure!
Thomas
CyberCypher
news:a7kbcq$ljlmc$1...@ID-42748.news.dfncis.de:
> Hi Franke,
> thanx so far for the corrections :-)
> Two questions left concerning the first song:
>
> CyberCypher schrieb:
>
>> > That's when the other side hang up and I was in a funk - aah!
>>
>> "the other side hung up"
>
> 1) could you also say: "... and left me in a funk"?
Yes, you could say that. Perfectly normal.
>
> 2) Later in the song, I mention "King Foot I". How do English
> people read that? "King Foot One", or "King Foot, the First"? I
> actually wanted it to be "... one" for reasons of meter. So is
> that possible?
I read it as "one" and not "the first", but you might want to change
"I" to "One" to be on the safe side.
--
Franke
CyberCypher
news:a7kbo7$lra2e$1...@ID-42748.news.dfncis.de:
> CyberCypher schrieb:
>
>> > Would you reveal me when you're there?
>> > I won't conceal me - I swear.
>
> At this point, some guy told me, that it is "I won't conceal
> myself...". If so, I'll get horrible problems with the meter. So,
> is "conceal me" just bad style - which I hope as you haven't
> corrected that line - or completely wrong, so that I must change
> it?
We're talking about song lyrics here and not formal written English, so
I see no problem with "I won't conceal me". Whoever told you that it
should be "myself" is correct, but in song lyrics this is normal
bending of the rules. It isn't completely wrong; it's fine in my
opinion and I'm sure in the opinion of those whoe opinions I respect.
Right Einde? Right John Ings?
>> > Heal me - with you care.
>> It's probably just a typo, but that should be "your care", right?
>
> Oh... sure!
>
> Thomas
>
>
--
Franke
Einde O'Callaghan
>
> Thomas Blankenstein <Thomas_Bl...@gmx.de> sagt
> news:a7kbo7$lra2e$1...@ID-42748.news.dfncis.de:
>
> > CyberCypher schrieb:
> >
> >> > Would you reveal me when you're there?
> >> > I won't conceal me - I swear.
> >
> > At this point, some guy told me, that it is "I won't conceal
> > myself...". If so, I'll get horrible problems with the meter. So,
> > is "conceal me" just bad style - which I hope as you haven't
> > corrected that line - or completely wrong, so that I must change
> > it?
>
> We're talking about song lyrics here and not formal written English, so
> I see no problem with "I won't conceal me". Whoever told you that it
> should be "myself" is correct, but in song lyrics this is normal
> bending of the rules. It isn't completely wrong; it's fine in my
> opinion and I'm sure in the opinion of those whoe opinions I respect.
>
> Right Einde? Right John Ings?
>
When I saw this I thought "hide myself" would maintain the rhythm - or
at least the syllable count - but you'd lose the internal rhyme between
"reveal" and "conceal".
I must admit, however, that I'm not very good at songs, which is why I
haven't participated in this thread so far.
Regards, Einde O'Callaghan
CyberCypher
news:a7hpch$lgiej$1...@ID-42748.news.dfncis.de:
[...]
#3
> WHY DOES SHE LOVE YOU
> words & music by Thomas Blankenstein
>
> I know a girl and she is so fantastic,
> She’s greater than your greatest dream.
> Her eyes are diamonds and her hair is golden,
> She’s sweeter than the sweetest cream.
> And she is so lovely, she’s so kind,
> She looks so very fine.
> My heart is stumbling when I’m thinkin’ about her,
> Oh, I wish that she was mine.
>
> But last night, she told me ‘bout her brand new boy-friend,
> The cutest guy she ever did see.
> She met him in the park and she gave him her number
> She never gave her number to me!
> And he’s so handome, he’s so cute,
> I couldn’t believe it’s true.
Maybe this should be "it was true".
> Cause when she finally told me then the name of that guy
> I had to see: The guy was you!
>
> chorus 1:
> Why does she love you? I don’t understand it.
> She loves you, but I don’t know why.
> Of course I know that I’m not so splendid,
> But better than the other guy.
>
> And after I had told her that you’ve been my classmate
"you'd been"
> And quite a friend of mine,
> She wanted to know everything about your nature,
> Your character and even your sign!
> I said that you were quite alright,
> Helpful, good and nice.
> God only knows what was up with me
> That I made up all those lies.
>
> chorus 2:
> Why does she love you? I don’t understand it.
> She loves you, but I don’t know why.
> I can’t deny that I’m quite offended
> And now she’s passing by
> Sha-la-la-laa, sha-la-la-lee, shabm-di-uap-doobm-doo (2x)
>
> I can’t believe that every girl
> Is taken in by you.
> I wonder what makes you so irresistible
> But I still don’t have a clue
>
> chorus 3:
> Why does she love you? I don’t understand it.
> She loves you – Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
> Of course that’s not what I have intended
"what I'd intended" or "what I had intended"
> And now you stroke her hair
>
> She keeps on asking me about your past,
> About the girl that you have parted with.
"that you just broke up with"
> And then I know whatever you have done to that girl
"that whatever you did to that girl"
> May never happen to my Miss!
> I tell her that she was also blond,
> Naïve and her eyes were blue.
> And when I see you two weeks later, then I wonder
> If she’s still in love with you.
>
> And when I see you two weeks later, ooh, I wonder
> If she’s still in love with you.
More tomorrow.
--
Franke
CyberCypher
[...]
> WHERE IS THE MUSIC
> words & music by Thomas Blankenstein
>
> Where is the music that we used to sing and play?
> Where are the songs turning night into day?
> Where is the feeling that should never go away?
> Oh, fill my glass, I just want to stay.
>
> I’ve been to many playces all around this world,
> I’ve seen the beauties of many pretty girls,
> And there is still a thing I need today, but don’t be afraid,
> I won’t asked for diamonds or pearls. But where is the music...
>
> I remember all the times we used to dance
> When all the boys would take the girls by the hands.
> And there would always be a couple that won’t forget that night,
> The magic of real romance. So where is the music...
>
> (fiddle intermezzo)
>
> The older boys would be hanging at the bar,
> Drinkin’ wine, burbon, Whiskey In The Jar.
> And they would tell from their memories and other fairy-tales
> What heroes they really are. So where is the music...
>
> (fiddle intermezzo)
>
> Now the silence is a slap in my face,
> I can’t deny that I’m really in a maze.
This seems to me a strange image here. Maybe it would be better as
"daze".
> But there is still a kind of silver lining out in the night
> That music returns to this place. Where is the music...
"silver linings" are thing one finds around rain clouds, so this image
doesn't make any sense to me. Maybe it'd be better to talk about
"magic" or something like that. Also, the verb tense here is wrong. It
should be "there will be", because the music has not returned yet, but
when it does, . . .
> (repeat chorus while fiddeling various soli all the time...)
>
>
>
> Here's a sad song:
>
> WHERE ARE YOU
> words & music by Thomas Blankenstein
>
> It’s six o’clock in the evening,
> Your steps are weak and slow.
> You can’t remember the sun anymore
> You’re again the last to go.
> Now you’re walking down a lonely road,
> The winter’s breakin’ in.
> And the emptiness around
> Is getting colder.
>
> Lonely days we have spent there
> Without you by our side
> Without your songs, your jokes, and your smile
> That lightened up the night.
"lightened up" has to be "brightened up" or "lighted up" or "lit up".
> And now I’m listening to your tape again,
"tape" kinda jars here, I feel. If you substitute "music" or "voice" or
"songs" for it, it won't sound so technical.
> A young and hopeful voice
> Is still today reflecting
> In the silence.
This image is too contradictory for my tastes. Voices don't "reflect",
and whatever they do, they don't do it in silence, except in "The
Sounds of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkle
>
> chorus:
> Where are you? Where are now?
> Can you hear your fellows call you? Oh, they need you now.
"fellows" isn't a particularly AmE word in this kind of context. Maybe
"comrades" would be better, or "old friends".
> All your life, castles in the air.
> Tell me now, are you there?
>
> I won’t forget the picture,
> You shiver as you walk.
> The big boy is embarassed again
> By all their fancy talk.
> And your hair was much too long, they said,
> They didn’t like your voice.
> Did you never feel the grace,
> That you were special?
>
> (repeat chorus)
>
> They always called you listless.
> It’s never what it seems.
This is a strange line here. It appears to me to mean that either being
listless or being called listless is "never what it seems". But the
next lines suggest that the singer is saying that the singee (the
person being sung about) never seemed listless to him but in a dream
world.
> Your mind was on a magical trip
> To far and distant dreams.
Maybe "filled with distant dreams", as "far" and "distant" mean the
same thing.
> And then you’d sing you are a dreamer,
> But you’re not the only one.
"And then you’d sing you were a dreamer,
But you weren't the only one."
> Imagine, my old friend,
> It was true.
>
> (repeat chorus)
>
> modified chorus:
> Where are you now? (Ooh) Where are you now?
> Have you ever thought of all the friends you’re letting down?
> All our dreams, wonderful and great,
> Won’t come back (won’t come back) – too late!
>
> (orchestral intermezzo)
>
> Remember times when we sat there
> With music, grass, and wine.
> A witty guy would share all his dreams,
> Two lively eyes would shine.
> And you said you’d never write a sad song,
> Life was much too short.
> Could we ever know how short
> Your life would be?
>
> (instrumental chorus)
>
> And although they often laughed at you
> It never was your fault.
> This world was not a place for you
> To live on.
>
>
>
> What about this one:
>
> DEMONS IN THE SKY
> words & music by Thomas Blankenstein
>
> Another day goes by and he looks into the cloudy sky,
> But the sun is always hiding somewhere else where he’s not.
Maybe "somewhere that he’s not."
> I never knew a girl that was as sweet as you.
> Could have been so easy if you had felt the same way, too,
> If you’d simply shared the feelings I was feeling just for you.
>
> And every morning, we were chewing on our rubber toast.
> Didn’t like the marmite but what I loved most
> Was the girl that always was so kind
> And all the day your smile was on my mind.
>
> Then in town, I tried to catch your eye
> But you were holding hands with another guy ...
>
> Oh, you were the one I’d been waitin’ for, a lifetime or even two.
> Now that you were walking away, I didn’t know what to do.
> Almost had been thinking that it could not get no worse.
> Then I heard the lovely sounds of checkered men in skirts!
>
> (bagpipe chorus to fade)
>
>
> Okay, thanx in advance for checking the lyrics. Once again, don't
> care about structural aspects of my songs, as long as you don't
> know the tunes
>:-)
Okay, Thomas. All done. Your English is very good. Maybe you could put
your tunes on the Web one of these days.
--
Franke
Deta Losi
Concerning storing the music on the web, it might disappoint you that I
have only recorded one of the tunes so far ("Where Are You") as I wanted to
have linguistically correct versions first. Although I am going back to
university next week, I hope I can find the time and record some songs
durings the next months. If you wanna listen to "Where Are You" (still with
wrong lyrics) you can stream or download the free mp3 file at:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/skyliner_music.htm
So long...
Thomas