Home ed digest issue 967

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Sep 18, 1995, 3:00:00 AM9/18/95
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HOME-ED DIGEST issue number 967

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Table of contents:

Smart skinflint
from expl...@filebank.com
Re: Fathers
from pyo...@pcnet.com
Re: Eating on $70 a week
from Thorn...@aol.com
Home ed digest issue 904
from dee...@houston.email.net
Re: Math Game
from jjcook <jjc...@nando.net>
Re: Teaching Counting
from Ginge...@aol.com
Re: Eating on $70 a week
from Mme...@aol.com
how I do the $50.00 to $70.00 a week thing
from taa...@ici.net
Re: Tidy bedrooms?
from Bonnie Bedford <bed...@islandnet.com>
Re: Courts
from MacCl...@aol.com
Re: An Unsolicited Kid Response to Commercials
from MacCl...@aol.com
Re: Tidy bedrooms?
from Mme...@aol.com

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From: expl...@filebank.com
Date: Sun, 17 Sep 95 18:10:07
Subject: Smart skinflint

Hi, Folks,
Recently, in:

>Subject: Mixing Home ed and a job (LONG)

Melinda (Mme...@aol.com) wrote:

> P.S. If you don't need a *lot* of income, you are probably better off
> learning how to cut expenses than generate more income. For that,
> I can recommend the Tightwad Gazette books and newsletter/magazine
> (whichever it is), although I'm sure there are other fine books I'm not
> aware of out there as well.

I would like to add that a friend of mine in Denver
does a nice little newsletter called The Smart
Skinflint. She also does a short segment on a local TV
show each Thursday morning (KMGH). I think she will
send a sample for $1.00, and 12 issues are $12.00.
Worth checking out if you are interested in saving
money around the house. Write to:

Carol Pinigis
The Smart Skinflint
P.O. Box 32
Littleton, CO 80160-0032

Good Luck,

Larry Sessions
IMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM;
: Larry Sessions, editor & publisher (303) 691-2172 VOICE :
: Final Copy, Incorporated Publications :
: Expl...@filebank.com :
: On the World Wide Web: :
: http://www.parentsplace.com/readroom/explorer/index.html :
: Family Explorer Newsletter :
: "Kids and Parents Exploring Nature Together" :
: North American Skies astronomy newsletter :
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM<

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From: pyo...@pcnet.com
Date: Sun, 17 Sep 95 19:39:35 EDT
Subject: Re: Fathers


Hello to all. I have been lurking for quite some time, but the
thread about divorce caught my interest. I am the divorced mother of
two wonderful home-schooled girls, now 12 and almost 10. I have been
HS'ing for six years, and have been divorced for seven years.

It is a tough thing to convince a hostile ex-spouse that
home-schooling is the best choice for your children, but here are a
few ideas that worked for me.

#1. The non-custodial parent may be tremendously jealous of the
amount of time your children spend with you. I think it may help to
offer the following reasons in his favor- first, that visitation is
MUCH more flexible in a home-schooling situation, and second, the
children will have more time to spend with their father if they are
not in school, (for instance, who cares how late Dad brings them back
on Sunday night- they can just sleep in the next day) and third, try
to make the father understand that a school environment only puts more
stress on the child, which no kid in the middle of a divorce needs.

#2. Scrape the bottom of your wallet and use a canned curriculum
like Calvert or something initially. Even if you don't believe in it,
it will "look better" if home-schooling becomes an issue. My
children's father made it sort of a "condition" for HS'ing. Once the
first child learned to read and count, etc, he was much more relaxed
about the idea. (Now he wouldn't have it any other way, and we are
able to co-parent more easily.)

#3. BE flexible with visitation. If your ex-spouse is into his
kids, he may find he enjoys HS'ing them, if only for weekends. Even if
things are hostile, try to keep the parent stuff working. If your kids
are not stressed out from school and the divorce, they may turn into
the kind of little people he enjoys being with.

#4. Try to work out of your home, if money is an issue. There are
not too many fathers who would be willing/able to pay the amount of
money it takes to have an ex-wife stay home and teach her kids. I
think the fathers view HS'ing as money out of their pocket, and they
may not see the value unless you also are working. If all else fails,
try doing daycare.

I hope this helps.
Patti

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From: Thorn...@aol.com
Date: Sun, 17 Sep 1995 20:37:06 -0400
Subject: Re: Eating on $70 a week


We are going to try and "mega cook" this fall. It means cooking a lot of
meals and freezing them so all you would need to buy is the perishables each
week and the usual basics. I read it in a book and thought we might give it
a try. Anyone else done this? Has it worked for you? We are a family of 6
so this should be a very interesting adventure.

Laurie

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From: dee...@houston.email.net
Date: Sun, 17 Sep 1995 21:42:11 CDT
Subject: Home ed digest issue 904

Tom said,
"Dee, keep writing yoru story, it is encouraging to see others dealing with
the ADHD kids...

Thanks Tom so much for your encouragement. It has been a super UPBEAT
week...seeing some progress. We do have an appt tomorrow with a therapist to
see if we can't get some help with our son and some behavour mod :)
God bLess...will let you know how it goes...Denise
Dee...@houston.email.net

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From: jjcook <jjc...@nando.net>
Date: Sun, 17 Sep 1995 23:16:34 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Re: Math Game


Hi, Lori,
We have Muggins. This is a great Math game. We've used it from
just learning concepts through adulthood. It made a big hit on game day,
too. (That's the day when some other home schoolers came over to our
house for lunch (outside) and played educational games afterward. One mom
per game group. Games for all ages. Some kids brough their own).
jjc...@nando.net
ps. some home schoolers meet in their local library for game day:)


On Fri, 15 Sep 1995, Staff - Onaway Branch Library wrote:

> Has anyone heard of/used/or have the Math Game called Muggins.
> Reading about it in a catalog sounds great but I'd like to hear from
> anyone that has had some experience with it. Thanks.
>
> Lori
> ona...@northland.lib.mi.us
>
>

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From: Ginge...@aol.com
Date: Sun, 17 Sep 1995 23:22:28 -0400
Subject: Re: Teaching Counting


Nancy said, "...a child can learn to parrot the numbers at one or two. The
CONCEPT of those numbers takes a lot longer..."

So true! Since she was only one, my no-longer-a-toddler-two-year-old ;-) has
been able to count to 20 quite consistently. Now she is, of course, a genius,
but, alas, even she, my own flesh and blood, doesn't yet comprehend the
deeper meanings of our base ten system. ;-D

Alison

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From: Mme...@aol.com
Date: Sun, 17 Sep 1995 23:54:25 -0400
Subject: Re: Eating on $70 a week


In a message dated 95-09-17 22:06:57 EDT, you write:

>We are going to try and "mega cook" this fall. It means cooking a lot of
>meals and freezing them so all you would need to buy is the perishables each
>week and the usual basics. I read it in a book and thought we might give it
>a try. Anyone else done this? Has it worked for you? We are a family of 6
>so this should be a very interesting adventure.

I've tried this before and when I have the time to do it, it works. Since my
schedule is so harried, what works best for me is to double or triple
whatever I'm fixing, and freeze the extra (BEFORE it gets to the table
and devoured, that is!)

If you get the book by Mary Beth Lagerborg and someone else (forget the
title of the book), beware that a lot of the recipes are majorly HIGH FAT!
My girlfriend used their recipes and found that her family didn't care for
them all.

I'm dying to try "Dinner's in the Freezer!" but I want to look at the book
first. I hear it's supposed to be really good. However, I wonder just
how apt the title is -- that maybe dinner will end up being in the freezer
at dinner time instead of coming out of the oven. :) Because of that,
right now we are barbecuing a lot -- hamburgers, chicken, 99-cent-a-lb
chuck steaks that I bought in bulk when they were on sale -- things
that I can thaw easily in the microwave.

Laurie, there is an AOL-only Once-A-Month cooking Email group,
and you can ask BLJean to be added to the list.

I suspect that most of the $$$ savings of OAMC is supposed to be
from not having to do impulse-buying when you have to go to
the store every day to pick up things to finish dinner with. The time
savings is also good, but unfortunately my current schedule does
not allow me to take a whole day off to do anything. :(

Melinda
mme...@aol.com

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From: taa...@ici.net
Date: Mon, 18 Sep 95 00:37:30 EDT
Subject: how I do the $50.00 to $70.00 a week thing


I was asked how I did the $50.00 - $70.00 a week thing...

Here's most of my reply.

We don't shop at the warehouses because I find it tiresome to keep track of
all their prices. Sometimes they can really rip you off! We have two main
stores we shop in Ro-Jack's which is independant and Shaw's which I think
is owned by Kroger . We have other stores,
like Stop and Shop (which is owned by the same company that owns Safeway)
and just like Safeway their prices are always higher.

Our staples are:

hamburger
potatoes
rice (we eat alot of it)
store brand cereal and only if the giant box is under $3.00 (2 diffeerent
kinds usually corn flakes and the store version of rice crispies, or
corn flakes and the store version of cheerios)
canned tomatoes (which right now we aren't buying because my garden has
produced so many that I can't keep up)
canned tomatoe paste(we use a lot)
canned jalapeno peppers
sour cream
milk (at least 3 gals a weeK)
kool-aid
sugar
flour
bisquick
oatmeal
frozen peas, peas and carrots, mixed vegs, spinach
canned corn and green beans
fresh fruit (only in season same with fresh vegetables - in this case we
eat a lot of apples)
eggs (I buy 4doz a week)
bread(4 to 6 loaves a week)
peanut butter
jelly
shed's spred
store brand popsicles
hot cocoa mix
seasonings when needed (we use a lot)
many different kinds of pastas
in the winter we buy Campbells soup for the kids for lunch
vegetarian beans (like pork and beans -- we don't eat pork)
store brand mac and cheese
kidney beans
canned fruit, applesause
raw carrots, celery
popcorn
tuna fish
relish
katchup
mustard
miracle whip
liver
onions
garlic
raisins
tea
Pepsi (for me) if under 99 cents a 2l bottle
if it's cheap enough, chicken

I think's that's about it. I don't really even think about it now I just
pull the products from the shelves.


What do we make from all this?
spaghetti (with carrots in the sauce. It's the only way I can get them to
eat vegetables when they eat spaghetti)
Kheema (a dish from my husband's country made with peas and hanburger)
Allo Gosht (another dish from his country made with hamburger and potatoes)
Hamburger Stew (recipe in the More with Less cookbook)
Stroganoff
yogurt (plain for cooking)
Spiced eggs (another recipe from hubby's country)
Liver dish from my husband's country -- the children will actually EAT this
liver dish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fried apples (something from my heritage)
meat balls
meat loaf
sloppy Joes
egg salad
tuna goop (tuna salad)
potato salad cold and hot
french toast
Chili
spinach souffle (the only way they and I will eat spinache)
hamburgers
etc.


Now remember that's just the staples list...after I buy this for the week and
depending on the item, a month, then I buy the special for the week stuff
like beef polska kilbasa, or stew meat for stir fry, broccoli, green peppers,
cake mixes (no frosting -- for snack only), yogurt (flavored), maybe cheese.


Yes, we try only going to the store once a week, but sometimes, because we
lack a cow, we can't do that.

I buy Suave shampoo (even though I want Vidal Sasoon, and am trying to figure
out a way in the budget >:-) )

I have one child who I began feeding solid foods to at 2 months because he
was never full/satisfied then, and he still is never satified. So he eats
alot.

My husband is a meat and potato/rice person, meatless meals are basically
saved for the summer (which he still grumbles about).

Oh and another way I save money -- I *NEVER* SEND MY HUSBAND TO THE STORE
ALONE!!!! That's one sure way of spending too much :-) -- even when he
comes with me I spend more than normal.

:-)

Cindy

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From: Bonnie Bedford <bed...@islandnet.com>
Date: Sun, 17 Sep 95 22:24 PDT
Subject: Re: Tidy bedrooms?


At 22:11 17/09/95 +0000, Sarah (obviously not Lawrence. only an imposter
would write this one, unless she's doing research on an article about what
lousy parents we are) wrote:
>How important do you think it is for children to have tidy bedrooms? If you
>think it very important, why? What are your reasons for making them keep
>their rooms tidy? How do you get them to do so?

I recently made (helped) one kid get the garbage off her floor because she
had an infestation of fleas (very bad on Vancouver Island - the only
disadvantage we have).

Every once in a while I say they should have a clear path to get out in case
of a fire, but I don't enforce it. Kids need privacy. If they are going to
have their own rooms - the rooms should truly be their own - unless there is
some kind of danger - or annoyance, like the fleas.

If the mess bothers you, install bedroom doors and shut. My philosophy anyway.

Bonnie
bed...@islandnet.com
Dive Into The Internet, for parents and kids:
http://www.islandnet.com/~bedford/bedford.html


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From: MacCl...@aol.com
Date: Mon, 18 Sep 1995 01:27:24 -0400
Subject: Re: Courts


Carol,

Boy am I behind on things here. I was just wading through the numerous posts,
as my hard drive was literally full, and I found your post to me. I am sorry
not to have found it earlier. All had been overlooked by now, as I figured
you were new and had not read anything else I have written, and did not know
my style at all.

So, apology accepted, I am only sorry that I did not do so on the list
publicly, as I now feel sheepish due to my sin of ommission.

My hormones just might be getting back in order, and so life gets better. And
you probably have gotten accustomed to the flow of life here on this list,
right?

The court thing has been every homeschooling family's nightmare, actually. We
are almost finished, but totally in debt due to the court costs. Is it right?
NO. But is it happening to more and more people? You betcha, as grandparents
fight for their rights, not what is best for the child, etc. Our court
systems are as crazy as we hear on the media, to be certain.

We only have to endure an inspection by court services, because of the false
accusations that to home-educate is to be isolated. Judge/court ignorance
again, a thing I used to be payed to deal with (teach judges and attorneys
about what is child abuse/neglect?), and this time about homeschooling. The
court services man has not heard of homeschooling and so will go in with a
bias, naturally. As a trained professional, this concerns me profoundly.

But we are finding faith a very good thing to have at this time, although, it
does not mean it has been easy on our only 6 month old marriage, the real
impetus to my mother's case. In our state we have the choice to
instututionalize, or have no protection, it is that simple.

Well, thanks for the apology. Unfortunately, I have not been able to post any
good news becuase of all the private flames yours prompted.

Must go, it seems that unschooling is the way we are doing this year, takes
more study on my part, than previously. I have much to learn.

Thanks a bit late.

Kara

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From: MacCl...@aol.com
Date: Mon, 18 Sep 1995 01:27:35 -0400
Subject: Re: An Unsolicited Kid Response to Commercials

Chris,

I am going through old posts, and found yours on a dreadful womanhood
beginning of yours.

The book Kaia loves was written by a mom whose daughter was becoming more and
more distant, as well as the mood swings etc. As she studied many resources,
she realized how little she had actually known. So she decided to author a
book as much to get herself and other moms through the hurdle so many of us
went through.

My mom tried but gave very little info actually. So this book has been good
for us all. Just last week as I walked into the living room, she was telling
her new stepdad that females cannot get a period before the breasts are
developed, and public hair arrives, but all he heas to do is read the book
and he would know all of this stuff. What boldness! I never could have done
this at her age with a woman, much less a man to whom she is not biologically
related.

Well, Amanda likes the idea of becoming a woman, but in truth they just
played as girls her age play, imaginative games, etc, more like tomboys than
girls play. So for her, she is a tall and large girl, so perhaps she is OK
with this. But we found out later that she quite suddenly came over without
calling first BECAUSE she had just gotten her period for the first time, and
she couldn't talk with her mom, who has trouble talking in general. I hope
that for them, her mom's counseling will help, etc.

Well, no girl wants to think of periods as gross, which she had said she did.
But we each differ. But we got this book for Kaia as soon as we noticed the
moodiness, as girls begin to have cycles, but no flow, for around 2-3 years.
I never knew how good it was, and how much it would be squirreled off into
her room when the other girls came over. I now am happy to have found such a
good informative book for her.

My mom spoke openly and positively about periods, as much as she spoke. But
this book has more info than I received at the U when studying youth
development and adolescent development. I am glad it is out there to inform
us as parents, and mostly the kids.

She said that writing it closed the gap which so often comes between
adolescent girls and their mothers, and that was enough for her. Well, if I
ever have a son I shall surely have to purchase the one for boys, for I have
no clue what is going on there!

Must go. Sorry if I posted to you earlier. We are out in our new accessible
van, and on digest now, so I am cleaning out mail as I said earlier.

Kara MacClewage
whose daughter Kaia lets her know what she needs, thank goodness!

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From: Mme...@aol.com
Date: Mon, 18 Sep 1995 01:47:10 -0400
Subject: Re: Tidy bedrooms?

In a message dated 95-09-17 20:44:37 EDT, blue...@lawrence.demon.co.uk
(Blue Lady) writes:

>What are your reasons for making them keep
>their rooms tidy? How do you get them to do so?

My mother only cleaned house probably 2-3 times a year. The rest of
the time, things got shoved aside so there was a way to walk through
to the vital parts of the house.

And in case any of you don't believe this, I said something like this
to my (15 mos older) sister recently, and not only did she agree, but
she said, "Yeah, and that was only when we got mice or bugs or
something like that in the house." (And this sister and I do not
particularly get along, so this was not camaraderie.)

As an adult, it has been a constant struggle for me to have my house
something like clean. I never learned how to do it, and I'm still trying
to learn, and not doing terribly well at it. I hear my friends talk about
having to clean their houses before company comes, and most of the
time I look around and honestly do not see anything that needs to
be done -- It totally escapes me.

Anyway, since I never learned how to clean house, I really want
to make sure that my children know at least as much as I do.
hee hee hee, that's one of my main goals in life, to make sure
that my children get as far ahead of where I am as I am from where
I was raised, because if they can do that they won't have any
problems in life.

To use somebody's classic metaphor (the parent is the bow, and
the children are sent out as arrows) I am shooting those arrows
as far away from me as I possibly can, so they have every possible
advantage, including the ones I never got and probably never will
get. <sniff>

Also, my mother-in-law was making my husband's bed, cleaning
his room, and doing his laundry when he was in college, yet, and
he let her <two groans for each side doing something they shouldn't
have done> and I do NOT want my children to end up in that boat.

They are responsible for cleaning not only their rooms, but all the
clutter in the whole house. And they are paid for it, too, when I
am working enough to be able to pay them. (When I'm not working
they get more help from me, so that makes up for the missing
income.)

Not only that, but they feel so much better about themselves from
the sense of accomplishment they have from being useful, and the
feeling that they are earning money (hey, if they didn't do it I'd have
to hire a housekeeper, and I'd rather them have the money). And
not only do I don't have to spend all my time cleaning up after them,
but when they don't have a clean shirt or whatever, it's not my fault
and I get no grief from them. <ahhhh!> They know that they have
to go put laundry in the wash when that happens.

This past year has probably been the best year for getting them to
do this, and I have been working on it ever since my oldest turned 4.
They are now 12, 9, 7, and 3 (the 3YO helps, but has no official
responsibilities until he turns 4).

Melinda
mme...@aol.com

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