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Semi-OT: When your S.O. suddenly does a 180 on the subject of kids

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Dec 6, 2023, 11:19:17 PM12/6/23

" 'CF' (childfree) people who switch sides suddenly should be shown the reality of having a kid"


"...So many of them will get a child and then leave all the burden on the mother. So lets switch that, get them to foster a child for a week, without the CF partner's help. They will be getting sterilized in a matter of hours after that experience. Maybe some of them will truly switch and will want to have kids, but I just know many won't."

To that, I would add this, by "Sylvia D. Lucas," from 2012:

"He Says He Wants Kids – But Does He Mean, 'I want YOU to have kids'?"


...I said to Ted, “You want a child.”


“How bad?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, what if I wanted to go back to work after having one? Would you want to stay home and take care of it? Can you imagine being the one to make the doctor’s appointments, buy the clothes and groceries, figure out what day care to take it to, get it enrolled in school, and all that?”

For a minute, he said nothing.

“Because,” I said, “the care would obviously be divided equally between us [eyebrows raised to make sure he got that part], but if you don’t want a kid so much that you’d be willing to do everything involved in caring for it, I–well, it would say to me that you don’t REALLY want one.”

He left the conversation somewhat frustrated. (I understand completely. What’s a traditional man to do with a woman who isn’t traditional?)...

Also, any parent can suddenly be in a terrible accident, leaving the ENTIRE burden on the other parent. How many people really want to take that financial risk? (Obviously, even truly CF couples need to ask themselves the same question - about marriage.)
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