Royal Crown Commision: Erik’s Response

[Jim Roberts]

[Jan 30 PM -- Castle Sibley]

> “Natural enough t’ feel gobsmacked, less yer a saint,” Sister Erin
> rolled her eyes, and reminded them, “I especially want to remind you
> two saucy wenches, who let’s not forget just embarrassed this poor man
> AND shamelessly made fairly explicit offers in front of high Crown
> officials. *I* thought it was funny, and I think so did the Colonel,
> an’ we Kamyrans are pretty easygoing when it comes to sexual matters;
> but still. That mild critique aside, yes, by all means let’s offer any
> help we might.” Avril and Tramma at least had the grace to share a
> guilty look with each other and look contrite, but all three women set
> that aside for later and turned expectant gazes to the paladin lord.

“I suspect you know, but I’ll say it anyway,” Erik told them earnestly.
“Anadrieniel fascinates me. Big dumb knight, after the smart girl. Being
the lord makes things complicated to say the least.”

“Lord Erik, don’t put yourself down. You’re not so dumb, you turned ME
down, and went for a way classier and long term option rather than the
one-night stand,” the silver-haired comedienne assured him with
self-depreciating humor. “Darn it. I’d have showed you a good time, no
strings, but that’s water under the bridge. I still wanna help, because
you deserve it, and so does Anni. Maybe she’s into threesomes.”

“Your court wizard, eh,” Sister Erin chuckled. “Nothing wrong with an
office romance, if it is handled properly, and you’re all over that.”

“Well, score one for the party girl,” Tramma shook her head ruefully. “I
had guessed Anadrieniel might be who you meant, but I had an advantage.
Believe me, none of the ladies in that wagon train are ever going to
forget you sweeping her off her feet and off to your castle that night.
Certainly not me, even though I got my first dance with Tregarth that
same night.”

“First I am hearin’ some of this,” the Erish priestess smiled. “Tramma,
yer slippin’. It’s a classic tale, the sort I used to love when I was a
farm girl growin’ up, an’ you never said a word. Just goes to show
there’s a lot more to you than you let on.”

“It was a pretty tale, but not mine to share, and for that matter, we
don’t know the ending yet,” Tramma sighed a little wistfully. “Sounds to
me like we’re hitting the downer at the end of act one. Hang in there,
the second act is always a bit rough, Lord Erik. I think everyone else
here will agree Anadrieniel would be thrilled to hear this. But this
part’s essential: she CAN’T hear it second hand. Has to be from YOU
somehow, letters, storming the castle, a romantic dinner, a blind date,
a confusing set of mixups, there’s dozens of ways to go from here, but
ALL of them involve YOU doing something.”

“I barely know Anadrieniel,” Vowsister Avril admitted thoughtfully. “She
is also one of the owners of the wizard shop, right?” A round of
affirming nods, then the statuesque beauty continued, “but my colleagues
here are right, WE are not the people you should be telling this. But…
we all know how perilous it can be to share one’s feelings.”

“Something’s gotta change,” Tramma advised Erik directly. “I haven’t
talked to her about this, mind you. Just… based on a few things I’ve
picked up keeping my ear to the ground at Fort Resolute, I can just
about guarantee she thinks exactly the opposite at this point, and is
trying to move on.”

“I figured I stepped in it,” Erik sighed.

“Yeah, avoiding her and acting like she doesn’t exist was I fear not
terribly romantic,” the chanteuse sighed. “I guess I sorta see why, and
nobly trying to avoid any appearance of exploiting being the boss is all
well and good, but doesn’t get you to the good part of the story. I just
love happy endings.”

“None of this sounds good,” Avril sighed. “Believe me, I know a bit
about feeling rejected, that’s how I ended up as a Beloved of the Moon
and Vowsister. Now, admittedly, this is nowhere near so dire. I freely
admit, I had no idea, and am already feeling a bit out of my depth. Are
you sure you don’t wanna stick with the ‘no strings’ setup of hooking up
with a willing Vowsister?”

“I kinda frown on that plan,” Sister Erin announced primly. “A bit too,
clinical, don’t you think?”

“Come now, it can be really romantic,” Avril enthused brightly. “The
secret heir, carefully raised, diligently trained, and staunchly
protected by their mother and the Sisterhood until the right time to
reveal their existence. A service one Vowsister or another has provided
many times. Some of us want children, and how better to provide for
them? Not like the father need worry about a Vowsister changing their
mind, we are not *allowed* to take marriage vows. ”

Erik gazed at the Vowsister in bemusement wondering in his head whether
Avril was pulling his leg? Avril saw something in his expression and
chuckled. “Yes, Lord Erik, amazing as it may sound, some Vowsisters are
human enough to want children. A lot of men are reluctant to do that
with a woman who has sworn to set aside marriage vows for some reason. A
win for everyone involved; a Vowsister can satisfy her mother instincts,
a ruler who for whatever reason does not want a traditional marriage can
father an heir, and the Sisterhood in several ways gains an ally
sympathetic to our goals and philosophy. You might be surprised how
often this sort of arrangement has happened.”

“And shocked,” Erin intoned repressively, though a sly grin lurked.
“There IS the matter of illegitimacy, though I am open-minded about
that, not everyone is. Completely unofficially and off the record, of
course, tell me more when we’re on our own time.”

“You have a deal,” the Vowsister chuckled. “I will start by reminding
you that the children of Vowsisters are by long standing canon law NEVER
tainted with bastardy, but we can get into that later. Not the sort of
dish we share with just anyone, but I trust you all to be discreet.”

“It makes sense when you explain it,” Erik nodded thoughtfully. “But not
something that has ever crossed my mind. Certainly the child would be
well cared for. Which has always been a concern of mine.”

“I am sure you can see all the reasons we keep quiet about our
willingness to entertain such an arrangement,” Avril told him somberly.
“You took me a little off-guard asking me if I was volunteering. I have
been doing a lot of re-thinking of some of my life decisions recently,
so please let me demur until I sort out what I want to do when I grow up.”

“I have always admired you, we work well together, and just because I am
sworn to celibacy NOW doesn’t mean I’m blind or don’t have occasional
regrets and private fantasies.” The tall Kamyran beauty shook her head
in bemusement, and with a mildly self-mocking tone suggested, “I still
reserve the right to decide you annoyed me and we have to settle that in
a friendly bout in the salle, or that I want you to try to woo me and
convince me to set aside my vows as Beloved of the Moon. The
Nightingale, or perhaps I should be clear and say my patron Bitan, has
*never* insisted those vows be irrevocable, but like any decision, there
is a price. If you don’t mind, let’s table the whole notion under ‘Avril
needs to get her head screwed on straight before she digs this
particular hole deeper’. ”

“Now,” the Vowsister continued briskly without awaiting any response.
“In the present case, Lord Erik, you are certainly suitable and believe
in many of the same things we do. As for his skill with the ladies,
*many* of my Sisters have noticed he is far from hopeless; handsome,
nice personality, reasonable dancer, comes from a nice family, and holds
a steady, respectable job; good with children. You should see him with
horses. My equestrian trainer always said a man who treated horses right
was worth at least a look as husband material.” All three of the women
spared Lord Erik an admiring look.

“He was just tryin’ to pick you up,” Sister Erin suggested skeptically.
“Belmak help Lord Erik here, I see I am sorely needed for reality
checks. I may have taken the cloth, but I distinctly remember that the
skills of wooin’ an’ horse trainin’ while perhaps in a sense related are
not at all the same.”

“*She* didn’t roll that way,” Avril smirked. “If she had, I might have
let her. I still maintain she was right. I can think of one of my
students Erik could deeply impress with his horse talking skills. I bet
he could have even *that* skittish filly eating apples out of his hand
in minutes, and Keely is rather indifferent to… well, I was going to say
‘men, but really all human social conventions is more accurate. But
Initiate Keely is saving herself for a nice unicorn, and she’s not the
Lady Anadrieniel. Though offering her an apple still might work. I
confess, I am just making catty comments like I always do when I am out
of useful contributions to a serious conversation; one of my many faults.”

“We all may be overmatched here,” Tramma sighed forlornly. “I have LOTS
of ideas, however… I am really good at managing my OWN messed up
lovelife, but just not the same. *I* thrive on chaos and soothing all
the inevitable complications and occasional screaming fits of jealousy
from somebody. I very probably should curb my enthusiasm and not presume
to try to help anyone with a more conventional outlook, which is why I
need Sister Erin to keep me grounded.”

“I suspect ya’d do fine, with me to sit on ya anyway,” Sister Erin
assured the singer. “I’m thinkin’ we have better options, though.”

“Are you thinkin’ what I think you’re thinkin’,” Tramma looked askance
at Sister Erin and Vowsister Avril. “Turn this over to somebody with a
better track record than any of us? Let’s face it, a shameless sex-fiend
Tramp, a celibate paladin known as the Ice Queen, and a priestess
sensible enough to swear off all that and ride herd on all of us MAY not
be the best sources of advice, even if we ARE sincere. Sister Erin,
you’re in charge here, what’s our best plan?”

“First, catch you two giddy loons with the butterfly net and lock ye
away somewhere to make the world safe,” the red-headed priestess
suggested sweetly. “All right, that was a little petty, an’ I should say
penance for talkin’ to a Vowsister that way. So, yes, I’m a-thinkin’ we
maybe should be callin’ in the priestess we all know specializin’ in
this sort o’ thing; has a happy family AND an active social calendar to
prove she knows what she’s doin’.”

“I love it,” Vowsister Avril exclaimed happily. “If anyone can give good
advice, Moon Dancer Alaelia is the one. With Bitan’s blessing,
obviously, and how could The Lady of Spring *not* love this situation?”

“If we’re good, she might even let us help,” Tramma predicted virtuously.

“Tha’s the part that worries me a little,” Sister Erin smirked. “Both
the Moon Dancer and her patron Tela have a wicked sense of humor. I’m
hopin’ Dame Nerwen won’t leave Lord Erik twistin’ in tha wind TOO long,
I can always appeal to her.”

The Lord of Fort Resolute just grinned at the thought, he was well
acquainted with the elven knightrix’s habit of letting him flounder long
enough to ‘learn his lesson’. Just like this trio, she was never mean
spirited about it, and clearly respect and allowing him to run his own
life was more the motivation than a good laugh after the smoke cleared.
He decided it was probably important to explicitly tell these ladies he
was interested in their offer, and told them sincerely, “Any help would
be greatly appreciated…”