Tinkle Friend Online Chat

[Catherine Nicolo]

Beatenby her parents and bullied by her elder brother, nine-year-old Jenny* felt alone and unloved. But then she turned to the web, and discovered a bubbly blue friend who was willing to listen and give her support, advice and information.

Currently the only online chat service in Singapore for children, Tinkle Friend Online Chat (www.tinklefriend.sg) was officially launched on 21 April at West View Primary School as part of the 30th anniversary celebration of its offline counterpart, the Tinkle Friend Helpline.

A study last year in Singapore by public-private tie-up Sunlight Alliance for Action (AfA) showed similar findings: Nearly half of the 1,000 respondents - Singaporeans and permanent residents aged above 15 - had experienced some form of online harm such as being stalked online and cyberbullied.

While the then-teenager knew that her ex-friend had been one of the cyberbullies, the other comments on the Instagram post were made using accounts that she could not identify. Coupled with bullying physically in school - such as threats of violence and mean comments - and the online death threats, Ms Seah started ostracising herself from others for her safety.

Her mother went to the school to make a complaint but was stopped from making a police report by Ms Seah and her teachers. However, the bullying - both online and in the real world - continued and it only ended when Ms Seah completed secondary school about a year later.

Bullies also tend to extend traditional bullying into the online realm, added Prof Lim, who is also the vice president of partnerships and engagement at SMU. For example, mean comments said in person could also be said online.

MOE added that students are also taught how to report cyberbullying and other serious incidents using safe channels. Schools have students appointed as peer support leaders to encourage safe and positive spaces both online and offline, and to also alert their teachers if necessary.

In 2020, Mr Ryan Ong, 24, founded The Catalyst Collective, a mental health support group which connects people through board games and role-playing game Dungeons and Dragons. He was a victim of bullying himself during secondary school.

In late October last year, he gave a presentation at a university in Malaysia on how he overcame bullying. While preparing for it, he logged into his Facebook account to look for the hurtful remarks left by his then-secondary schoolmates.

He was called attention-seeking when his classmates learnt that he was suicidal, with comments asking him to end his life, among other things. His grades worsened, as a result of the bullying and isolation.

I skipped school a lot, as my teachers did nothing and my mental health worsened. The school suggested my parents take control of my devices (to improve my grades), and my parents thought it was the right thing to do. However, that only alienated me further," he said, adding that his parents did not acknowledge the bullying that took place.

Other victims told TODAY that they feared telling their parents about the cyberbullying as they did not want their mobile devices confiscated. Some who eventually did added that their parents told them to simply turn off their devices, and the lack of action made the youngsters feel more helpless.

When it comes to older children, Dr Anuradha Rao, the founder of CyberCognizanz which promotes awareness about cyberwellness, said: Nowadays, it's (common) for parents to overreact towards a lot of things, even bullying in minor forms. Sometimes, children need to be trusted to navigate on their own, and it also can be an opportunity for them to be resilient.

Dr Anuradha added that simply removing a mobile device from a victim of cyberbullying can worsen the situation, as the lives of children and teens are intertwined in both the offline and online worlds. Depriving them of access to the online world may make them feel further isolated.

Having discovered that a group of friends had created a private group chat to speak behind her back and throw vulgarities at her, Amanda informed her teachers the same week, resulting in her bullies being scolded and having their phones confiscated.

For example, online games may expose children to trash-talking and other vulgarities from strangers with little emotional connection to them, while public YouTube and TikTok videos may be viewed by strangers who can leave mean comments without care if parents do not turn on the privacy settings in these platforms.

While any form of bullying can inflict trauma on its victims, the impact can be extremely harmful to youths since they are less equipped to handle such emotions, said Mr Asher Low, founder of non-profit Limitless, a non-profit organisation that provides counselling for youth.

A Google survey of 500 Singaporean parents with children between the ages of five and 17 last September found that three in 10 parents did not feel that their child is well-informed about online safety issues.

Dr Anuradha of CyberCognizanz said that in general, parents should not give their children Internet access until they are older and able to better discern right from wrong, reducing the risk of them being exposed to online harms.

For example, parents can adjust the settings on social media platforms such as TikTok to ensure their children do not interact with strangers. This also applies to games like Roblox, a free-to-play game popular among young children but has violent and sexual user-generated content accessible if parental controls are switched off.

Like traditional forms of bullying, it is important to get to the root cause of the behaviour, said experts. Parents should also explain to their children the impact of their bullying on themselves and their victims.

SOS is a non-profit organisation offering confidential emotional support to individuals in need of help, including those experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings of distress. You can call their 24-hour hotline at 1-767.

This text-based chat service comes with a follow-up service to ensure that your mental health is being taken care of in the long run. You can share your feelings and concerns with your assigned counsellor, who will provide you with advice and counselling based on your current situation.

Tinkle Friend is a national toll-free helpline and chatline for all primary school-aged children in Singapore that provides support to lonely and distressed children, especially in situations when their parents or main caregivers are unavailable.

PAVE provides services for persons who are dealing with or have survived interpersonal violence. For instance, PAVE provides Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to help children and adolescents with post-traumatic stress symptoms and other difficulties related to traumatic life events.

For instance, one of the goals to be achieved by 2030 or earlier is that mental health services will be introduced to all polyclinics and 900 more general practitioner (GP) clinics, while an additional 28,000 front-line personnel and volunteers will be trained to help identify those struggling with mental health.

One of the most important steps in maintaining good mental health is building a strong support network. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends, family members, and mentors can provide a valuable safety net during times of stress or difficulty.

Physical health and mental health are closely intertwined. Taking care of your body through regular exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep can have a significant impact on your mental well-being.

In late October last year, he gave a presentation at a university in Malaysia on how he overcame the bullying. While preparing for it, he logged into his Facebook account to look for the hurtful remarks left by his then-secondary schoolmates.

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