About the ip-address and network access: I'm guessing your device is
assigning itself a APIPA address (169.254.0.1 to 169.254.255.254)?
You'll need to bridge the rndis lan connection with your main lan
connection so the device can access the LAN adn the DHCP server. You
might also want to check how your windows firewall is setup on your
workstation.
About ActiveSync: It uses a serial connection over usb with a bunch of
PPP stuff on top as default (and I don't think you can change that?).
When enabling RNDIS on your device, you've basically disabled the usb
serial function, hence no ActiveSync.
Henrik