League preview - part 1

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Adam Gross

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Aug 31, 2016, 1:50:07 PM8/31/16
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Good morning everyone and welcome to the official unveiling of the 2016 Scorekeepers fantasy football season, which is the 7th season in modern league history (i.e. since we started using the ESPN platform).  I submit to you gentlemen that this stands to be the most significant year in league history for a few reasons.  For starters, we welcome into the league two new members (Singer and J. Rogers).  The elder Rogers is the second family member of a current owner to throw his hat in the ring.  If his inauguration goes as smoothly as Tommy’s did last year, then it will turn out great.  And by great, I mean great for the rest of the league, as Tommy got off to an exemplary 0-6 start and finished at a disappointing 4-9.  Singer, I don’t know much about you or your fantasy prowess.  On the positive side, I was impressed with your opening email effort.  On the flip side, I am concerned that your friendship with Nelly means that you respect his fantasy acumen, which would be a terrifying omen for your debut season. 

 

Second, after 6 seasons with 6 different champions (me, Gaiman, Konwiak (as I pour out a bit of my iced tea), Levy, AJ (not a typo), Rogers), we are now at the point where it is roughly as likely that the 2016 season crowns our first two-time champion as opposed to another first-time champion.  The theme for the season is whether anyone can vault themselves onto the Scorekeepers Mt. Rushmore, alongside every girl who has covertly engaged in sexual acts by the arcade games, by becoming the league’s first 2-time champion.  To aid us in the question of who is most likely to be crowned this year’s champion, I think we would all be well-served to take a trip down memory lane and dig into the nitty gritty history of our league to get a better sense of the true performance level of each of our league members.  It was honestly an eye-opening experience.     

 

New FBS Members

 

Singer and the elder Rogers – For obvious reasons, there is no league history to harken back on for our two newbies.  Could they win this year?  It’s theoretically possible.  Just like it was theoretically possible that Appalachian State and Georgia Southern would win the national championship in 2014 when they joined as FBS members.  For those not familiar with the 2014 college football season, neither App St. nor Georgia Southern won the title.

 

The Sun Belt Conference Members

 

10. South Alabama - Billy/Tommy – much like South Alabama’s history in the Sun Belt, this less than dynamic duo has never experienced even a modicum of success.  You don’t need to break out a calculator to tabulate their total playoff appearances in their 4 combined seasons in the league (hint: it’s the same as the gpa of John "Bluto" Blutarsky  - 0.0).  While conventional wisdom suggests that by combining forces they will enhance their chances of success, given their individual track records, my money is on this unholy union being twice as bad in 2016.  Time will tell.

 

9. North Texas – Lee – as bad as Billy and Tommy have been, what’s even more alarming is the narrow margin between them and Lee.  Despite competing in all 6 league seasons, Lee has only made the playoffs one  time.  As you will see as you keep reading, without hyperbole, Lee is a real outlier from the rest of the original league members.  While most of the league is mired in some level of parity, Lee has unquestionably performed consistently worse than his fellow league members.  When I began researching for these historical power rankings, I thought our jokes at Lee’s expense were just innocent jokes.  It turns out that they are very much true and probably don’t go far enough.  The only word I can come up with is sad.  Lee, if you have some sort of learning disability or other mental handicap that explains this performance, I wish you would have let us know because we wouldn’t have wanted to take your money under those circumstances.  We’re all friends after all.  Feel free to email me privately if you would like to discuss.  Add this to the fact that Lee can no longer make a layup or run up and down a basketball court without getting winded and it’s got to be tough to be Lee at this point.  North Texas had some success at the beginning of the formation of the Sun Belt conference but have been terrible recently, so the comparison fits.

 

The Mountain West

 

8. BK – Fresno State – It hasn’t been all bad for BK, but it’s pretty much been all bad lately.  BK has three playoff appearances in his 6 seasons, including a 2nd place regular season finish in 2011 (we were still only 10 members at this point, though).  He also finished runner up that same season.  Unfortunately, the resume is pretty paltry outside of 2011, and it has by and large been downhill since then, culminating with a 4-9 performance last year.  Much like Fresno State, who experienced the glory of the David Carr years and sustained that success for a brief period afterwards, alas it was fleeting as the program ultimately came crashing down to earth.  Pat Hill got fired, and now no one knows a thing about Fresno State anymore.  Can BK make us remember again?  (note that I noticed a new confidence from BK last night and thought he had a very promising draft – more on this later)

 

7. Scott – San Diego State – There is very little distinguishing the resumes of BK and Scott.  Scott also has 3 playoff appearances to his name.  In addition, he has 2 third place trophies.  However, he has never finished in the top 2 of the regular season standings, and he is the only current original member of the league to have not appeared in a championship game.  I gave the slight edge to Scott over BK only because BK has struggled more in recent years, and most of BK’s success occurred in the 10 team format.  Plus, Scott and I seemed to be aligned on players during the draft last night, which is a positive sign regarding his thought process entering the season.  San Diego State is no powerhouse, but it isn’t a laughingstock either – it’s generally a bowl team.  That’s about the equivalent of Scott’s fantasy resume – he makes the playoffs but no one is scared of him.  He’s there, but he’s not THERE.

 

6. Nelly – Boise State – I was frankly surprised at how much success Nelly has achieved in his 6 years.  He has made 4 playoff appearances, earned 2 byes (for top 2 regular season finishes), has 1 runner-up and 1 third place playoff finish.  He’s got a good resume with a very glaring hole; he’s never won the only title that counts.  With a title, Nelly would vault all the way up to number 2 in these rankings.  By the same token, if my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle.  Boise State is a decent comparison because they have had a lot of success, everyone respects their program, they often dominate the regular season, but no one would mention them in the same breath as a blue blood power 5 program.  Nelly can’t truly be taken seriously until he wins in the playoffs.

 

*                                             *                                             *              

 

Now we get to the red meat of these rankings.  Each of the ensuing all-time top 5 owners have a championship to their names.  Given that, we will abandon the conference affiliation and just compare each individual to a college football program.

 

5. Levy – Colorado – Levy’s 6 years are divided into 2 periods: the glory years of 2013-2014 and everything else.  Levy won his only championship in 2013 in prolific fashion, posting scores of 144, 181 and 149 en route to the title.  He backed that up with a runner up finish in 2014, in which he also earned a bye due to his regular season record.  Those highlights are impressive.  The issue is that there is nothing else on his resume that is flattering in any way.  He has never made the playoffs outside of these two seasons, making him the only original member of the league aside from Lee to not make the playoffs at least 3 times.  In other words, the number of nights Levy dressed up as a bum in college exceeds the number of Scorekeepers playoff appearances to his name (never ever gets old: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6DQyp5en2w).  That’s disconcerting.  Colorado, coached by the extremely creepy Bill McCartney (parallels to Levy fit) made back to back title game appearances in 1989 and 1990, winning once.  Much like Levy, they have never even sniffed that type of success since and are now amongst the dregs of all FBS conference teams.  Relatedly, Levy is coming off a dead last place finish in 2015.  Was his two year run a fluke?  Certainly seems that way.

 

4. Rogers – Auburn – Rogers’ performance has been all over the map in his 6 years.  His 2015 title of course marks his high water mark, but there have been plenty of low moments as well, including the 2013 and 2014 last place finishes (still ready to send you on a weekend to Flint for some sightseeing) and the infamous Julio Jones swindle, which caused Konwiak to give up fantasy sports, see a therapist and move across the country to get away from Rogers and attempt to find some semblance of peace.  Rogers backed that up by inviting his friend to the league, who possibly knew as little about football as Bill, who tried to tamper with the integrity of the playoff waiver wire after his team had been eliminated, and will be best known for trading Rogers one of the best players in the history of fantasy football for a handful of euchre cards, catapulting Rogers to his first ever title in dominant fashion.  Rogers has made the playoffs 3 times and has a 3rd place finish to his name, but last year was his first title game appearance.  The Auburn comparison works because both Auburn and Rogers are unabashed cheaters who have ridden an unprecedented talent to a title but who have also struggled immensely in the years just before and (and after in Auburn’s case) their improbable title runs.  Rogers’ overall resume is very similar to Levy’s (Rogers has one additional playoff appearance), but he gets the edge because he’s ruthless and less obsessed with dairy.

 

3. AJ – Oklahoma – AJ has experienced a recent run of success, including a 2014 championship, but he also thrived in the early years of the league, losing in the 2010 championship game.  In between his 2 successful runs, however, there was a lean era, much like that experienced by Oklahoma after Switzer left and before Stoops arrived.  The lean years were ugly, including back to back losing campaigns (4-9 and 5-8) in 2012 and 2013, respectively.  However, AJ seems to have righted the ship, and even with these lean years, has experienced more consistent success than Rogers or Levy.  He earned a regular season title in 2014 to go with his championship.  AJ used to be known for missing layups and being a lovable fantasy football loser.  Somehow, he seems to have transferred these traits to Lee, who is working on the lovable part, and has reinvented himself as a married man, with a kid on the way, and a respected fantasy force.  It remains to be seen whether the birth of his child this fall negatively impacts AJ’s performance.  AJ is a man who needs his sleep.  It’s definitely one of the more intriguing subplots of the upcoming season.    

 

2. Gaiman – Nebraska – Gaiman has long been a respected force in the Scorekeepers league.  He is tied with Nelly for 2nd place in all-time playoff appearances with 4.  He is the proud owner of the 2011 championship ring.  And he has a well-regarded history of drafting success.  The problem for Gaiman is that he is starting to resemble an aging giant.  Think Shaq on the Suns.  He was still respected, and on the right night could turn back the clock, but he could no longer do it day in and day out.  Father time catches up with us all.  Gaiman last won this league in 2011, a season in which he both finished first in the regular and post season.  He was at the zenith of the sport.  Today, he still runs a first class organization, is uniformly viewed by league owners as a tremendous representative of the league and puts forth a competitive product, but he no longer induces fear in other teams.  He’s lost his edge.  Rumors abound about the level of his investment in the team and whether he truly still has the desire to put in the rigorous offseason work that is needed to compete for championships.  Perhaps content is the best word.  There is nothing wrong with being content in one’s personal life, but content means complacent in the cutthroat fantasy football world.  When multiple league members saw Gaiman waltz into Corey’s engagement party on Saturday night in khakis and a polo (aka country club attire), the message was overwhelmingly clear – Gaiman is nearing retirement.  He’s had a great run – dare we suggest a HOF run – but he has a lot to prove if he intends for this run to continue.  The Nebraska comparison is apt.  The school has incredible, nearly unparalleled history and remains respected within the college football community today.  They supposedly have lovely fans and a nice game day environment.  But no one, not even the corn fed Lincoln locals, believe that a renaissance of the glory days is likely in the future.  This might be the highest Gaiman ever rises on the all-time power rankings.  In 10 years, we might look at him like the University of Chicago football program – a lion of yesteryear; a mere footnote in the annals of fantasy history.

 

1. Gross – school intentionally left blank for reasons explained herein – Let’s start with the stats.  One title, never missed the playoffs (2 more than any other league member), 2 runner up finishes, 2 first-round byes for top 2 regular season finishes and one 3rd place playoff finish.  The lack of a 2nd title is what, admittedly, puts me in the same tier as our other championship winners, but there are no valleys in this resume like there are with every other league member.  There are no last place finishes, embarrassing scandals or blips on the radar.  Finding a team with a championship pedigree that has consistently kept its program at a championship level without a sustained downward cycle is very difficult.  There was only one college program that came to mind, but it is one that I would never compare myself or anyone in this league to, so I will not name it.  Did one of the original members of this league used to cry when this university lost games?  Possibly.  Does that original member still root for this team?  Depends who you ask.  I think we all know the individual and school I am referring to.  Here’s to hoping that in 10 years, the new model of consistency and championship contention will reside in Ann Arbor.

 

Analysis of this year’s draft and a preview of the 2016 season to follow in the coming days.                

Lee Berliner

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Aug 31, 2016, 2:04:47 PM8/31/16
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I've gone 11-2, 7-6, 6-7, 6-7, 6-7, 4-9.  A combined record of 40-38.  The fact that I've made the playoffs just once is an anomaly.  It will all play itself out over time.  My 40-38 record would put me at least in the top half of the league if we did combined records.

The LAST THING YOU WANT TO DO IS ADD FUEL TO THE TANK OF THE SERVE TRAIN.

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Dan Rogers

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Aug 31, 2016, 2:20:46 PM8/31/16
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Dan Gaiman

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Aug 31, 2016, 2:46:26 PM8/31/16
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Pretty on point all around, besides of course calling me out for being complacent and losing relevance.  

Friendly reminder below that I had the most points in the league last year and 11 more ppg than you.  And using your flawed khaki logic, does Jim Harbaugh look like a guy that's ready to retire?  

But keep doing what your doing.  Think you're definitely on the right track with your team name.  

FINAL LEAGUE STANDINGS2015 REGULAR SEASON
RANKTEAMOWNER(S)RECPFPAPF/GPA/GDIFF
6Gaim TimeDaniel Gaiman9-41732.71486.2133.3114.3+19
2The Wright Stuff ReduxDan Nelson11-21674.91387.5128.8106.7+22.1
5The Norm Culbersonsandrew Mallon9-41594.21371.5122.6105.5+17.1
3Riding Romo to my Second ShipAdam Gross10-315931470.2122.5113.1+9.4
4Undefeated w/ New Namescott goldstein6-71585.61530.8122.0117.8+4.2
1Circle The WagonsDan Rogers6-71485.21492.7114.2114.8-0.6
8Honolulu Bluesanthony fuga6-71452.21411.5111.7108.6+3.1
10The Serve TrainLee Berliner4-91426.21552.4109.7119.4-9.7
9The BeachBrian Klein4-91399.11659.4107.6127.6-20
12Forte Oz. to FreedomWilliam Conry6-71358.31385.8104.5106.6-2.1
7The LandlordsThomas Conry4-91345.41525.3103.5117.3-13.8
11Hauschka is my HomeboyJon Levy3-101283.31656.798.7127.4-28.7

Andrew Mallon

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Aug 31, 2016, 2:56:20 PM8/31/16
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The 2010 Title Game still haunts me. Andre Johnson got hurt the week before and Peyton threw for a season low 179 yards. 
 
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Dan Nelson

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Aug 31, 2016, 2:59:27 PM8/31/16
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I am still upset about even having to play Rogers in the finals last season, since he shouldnt have been there if "the trade that shall not be named" had never happened.

Then he has the nerve to use a gif of my 2015 QB to rub it in.

This guy...

Dan Rogers

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Aug 31, 2016, 3:11:54 PM8/31/16
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Like I've said...go check all of my playoff matchups from last year. If AB put up 0 in every matchup, I still would've won every one. That's dominance.

Stay salty Boise.

Lee Berliner

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Aug 31, 2016, 3:13:30 PM8/31/16
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What team is AB on this year?

Brian Klein

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Aug 31, 2016, 3:36:23 PM8/31/16
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Well done on the preview Adam. Spot on. 
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Jon Levy

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Aug 31, 2016, 5:57:01 PM8/31/16
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Oh lord. That was a good read. So long that I couldn't complete it on trip to the toilet. 

Some great laugh out loud zingers.  Bravo bravo.  "A handful of euchre cards!!!"

Wish I could say to expect greatness from me this year, but after last nights draft I'm not sure I can say that with a straight face. 

We shall see! 

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