MBA and an Engineer...

[M G Harish]

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in
a competition organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an
Indian......


A MBA and an Engineer go on a camping trip, set up
their tent,and fell
asleep.
Some hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend. "
Look up at the sky
and tell me what you see."
The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."
The Engineer asks "What does that tell you?"


The MBA ponders for a minute: "Astronomically
speaking, it tells me that
there are millions of galaxies
and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter
past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful
and we are small and
insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful
day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"


The Engineer friend is silent for a moment, then
speaks:
"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--
Your Harish

[M G Harish]

 

Pilots and Engineers

After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes and then the mechanics read and correct the problem. They then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

Problem: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

Problem: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Solution: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Problem: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution: Something tightened in cockpit

Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on back-order.

Problem: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Problem: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.

Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution: DME volume set to more believable level.

Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution: That's what they're there for.

Problem: IFF inoperative.
Solution: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

Problem: Suspected crack in windshield.
Solution: Suspect you're right.

Problem: Number 3 engine missing.
Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Problem: Aircraft handles funny.
Solution: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Problem: Target radar hums.
Solution: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Problem: Mouse in cockpit.
Solution: Cat installed.

--
Your Harish