[Life] The reason, why I’m writing a book?
Rajesh Rana
Yesterday, my friend sent me a message on Viber about his new life, he recently got married around 2-3 days back, he didn’t invite me, (as he got married in temple, I know, no valid excuse, still he didn’t invite). While talking to him, I realised I’m doing right thing by writing a book on this issue as I notice this problem frequently, he helped me to reaffirm my goal of writing two volume book on 1) Right way to find your soulmate and getting married, and 2) Secrets of how to lead a happy married life.
Hey, you can help me to write this book by sharing your story of “how you found him/her and got married”, check this - www.kheljao.com/soulmate
* I’m writing this book for not making any money but for helping others so that they can find right person and lead a happy life.
Now, here goes the conversation ( I haven’t took any permission from him to publish it, see, he should have invited me :P just kidding)
DS: If life becomes the hell even after marriage then how to lead a life ?
You: Take it easy, 1st 2-3 years are the most difficult for most of married couple, try to understand her and let her understand you. This 10 letter word UNDERSTAND is most important for success and happiness of any married life.
DS: I’ve become old enough, 2 difficult 2 understand.
You: You are 4 years younger than me. People get old with their mindset.
DS: Who said ?
You: If you keep your mind open you will understand her.
DS: How old r u now ?
You: 33
DS: Really, my goodness.
You: You are 29, I guess.
DS: 31 boss.
You: Ok
DS: 1983
You: Good
You: Even after 60 years I won’t get old, My mind will never get old, But let’s not discuss about that here, just try to relax, give her and yourself time. Few things are very much important
1.Mutual understanding
2.Mutual respect
3.Mutual care
4.Mutual trust
Everything is mutual in married life, Do not ever try to dominate her and do not let her dominate you, keep this clear and tell her verbally from the beginning.
DS: It is 200000 % sure, That people r never satisfied with their wishes.
You: Yeah, human wishes never ends but it doesn’t mean you can never be happy, try to focus in current moment and enjoy it, and forget rest of the things. I was trying to tell you many important things when we met before your marriage but I found you were not ready to listen so I thought let him understand all the lessons through real life experience.
DS: Ha ha ha
You: I’m sure that even if I tell you now you won’t understand, But life will eventually teach you all lessons, Wise are those who learns from others experience. But let me tell you secret of happy and blissful life. Do not think of your happiness, always think of her happiness and do everything to keep her happy And she will also take care of your happiness. Try to make every moment very special for her. Wife don’t expect much things from husband but a man who loves her with all heart.
DS: So, when u gonna have babies ?
You: In 3 years.
DS: My wife says after 5 yrs
You: That’s good, Respect her decision, Do not put her down, She must have thought many things.
DS: This is a main problem here, I want it in a few months, I’ll be 36 then.
You: We may also have babies in 3-5 years, It doesn’t matter how old you are. What matters is if both of you are ready or not, and as I said married life is all about mutual-mutual, married life works that way. Every decision needs to be from both side.
DS: I know, But I want happiness of my babies as soon as possible.
You: You are only thinking for your happiness. Which is the very reason of your unhappiness and mostly of all married life. If you want to lead happy life think only about her happiness. You may not understand this but eventually you may hopefully get it.
DS: But why doesn’t she have to ?
You: She is very young, She just got married, She don’t even know you yet, It takes time to develop love. She may need at least a year, that too of you help her. But if your attitude is like this then she may never love you. You can not rush, love takes time to develop, try to keep her happy. But don’t forget the golden rules. Try to make her feel comfortable, She must be very sacred right now, She won’t tell you but she is, All girls are like that, specially in arranged marriage. If you ask this question after a year she may say yes but right now it’s too early, she just left her home.
You: Right now best thing you can do is try to make her feel comfortable, try to let her realize that she has married with right guy and a responsible guy and she will be happy and safe with this guy for rest of her life. But if you pester her with these silly requests then she will get frighten. You have married her but you may need time and lots of effort to win her heart.
You: I don’t know whether you will understand it or not but I wish you do as upon this rest of your whole life depends. And I wish you very happy married life.
DS: I did understand my wife, But I’m disheartened inside
You: And the reason is; coz you are selfish