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You might think it’s a guy’s job to approach the girl. You might think it’s inappropriate to, or will appear desperate, for you to make the first move. Or you might just simply be terrified of rejection. But the truth is, when you approach a guy, he’ll be taken aback and you’ve instantly secured the upper hand. In encounters with the opposite sex, even that small advantage can make or break control of the outcome.

The Eyes Have It

Direct eye contact from across the room is the easiest way to let a guy know you’re interested. Do it repeatedly and you’ll soon find most of the work of The Approach is already done. If necessary, work on your look. Try the Stare-Bashfully Avert Your Eyes-Get Caught Staring Again model. Or the Half Smiling-Little-Hand-Wave rendition. Try out different repertoires in different situations, and see what works best.

Fly Solo

Guys out on their own are a dime a dozen, but everyone knows hot girls travel in packs. If you’ve drifted away from your herd, you’re a stray cat on the prowl and need some petting. You’re on a hunt that’s all about you and no one else. Just be careful to appear independent, but not desperate.

Compliment Him

If you’re the type who throws caution to the wind, you can always go the complimentary route. If you are sartorially well-versed and spot a guy in, say, Armani, walk up and compliment him on it. Even if you’re wrong, if you can at least spot a nice suit, it will start a conversation. Just keep it going.

Ask for Advice or Help

It’s in a male’s nature to protect the females of their species, so take a lesson from Animal Planet. Come up with an elaborate rouse with your girlfriends and make sure they’re in on it. Walk up to him and ask him for his advice on a problem with your girlfriend — she’s having this issue with her boyfriend that only a man’s perspective can help solve. This has a tandem benefit: 1. It volunteers the information that you’re single: If you were in a relationship, you would have simply asked your boyfriend. 2. It makes him feel like he’s solving a problem for you, and you need him (and only him).

Go Through His Wingman

The method of approaching his best friend is the least straightforward but often the most effective. It’s also simple: Go up to his friend and ask him one question: “Don’t tell him I asked you, but does your friend have a girlfriend?” You know full well the first thing he’s going to do is tell his friend you’re interested in him. The bonus of this approach is, if it turns out he actually does have a girlfriend, it might turn out you get a shot at the wingman.

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