First, remember to never plug in/unplug the motors while the board is energized. You can cook your drivers that way.
Second, if you are testing your RAMPS for the first time, I always recommend the test firmware first:
This just moves the motors and turns the heaters on and off endlessly. The problem is, most of the firmwares have protections built in, so if your hot end temp can't be reliably sensed (hot end thermistor not plugged in, wrong type, etc), the board shuts down and goes into an "Fix it!" state and appears dead.
Second, I had a similar problem with a friend who was using repetierhost and marlin firmware - the commands we gave in repetierhost would just sit at "2 commands in queue" ... "3 commands in queue" ... etc. We never actually figured out what the cause was, but I think it was something along the lines of the error codes from marlin were not displayed correctly in repetierhost. Connection said it was working, but the commands would just queue up.
For starters, try pronterface. If you want to use repetierhost, I would also recommend using repetierfirmware, they work together. Some of the options from repetierhost are not available if you are not using the repetier firmware.