MEGHAN'S MOUNTAIN

[JRSt...@aol.com]

Sunday, August 7, 2011

 

Sometimes you have to say what is on your mind....and in your heart. Jerry

 

 

       IT'S A WORLD FEW UNDERSTAND..... I WISH WE WERE ONE OF THEM

 

   It has been a long time since I sat down at this computer and sent out an email about Meghan's climb to life against cancer. But then seven years is a long time for anyone to climb a mountain. It's a world of it's own, one that few understand, one that I even have trouble understanding at times. To be honest, I wish Meghan and I were both in that category, having trouble understanding the life of a cancer victim.  

  I know Meghan has taken a real tragedy and turned it into a mountain of love and understanding. Like helping keep two wonderful camps going for kids with cancer, and the many items bought for the kids at Kosair.  And the wonderful things she has done for the patients at the Brown Cancer Center. And the ability to add the Children's Hospital in Lexington. The list goes on. And I don't even count the number of people Meghan has visited after being diagnosed with cancer, how she makes them believe, how she lights their mountain with hope. So much this child has done for so many while battling her own life against cancer.

  But then this cancer has cheated her out of so many things. Things most of you have, things most of us take for granted. Like being able to graduate college and have a job you like and go to everyday, being self sufficient and on your own. Having your own apartment or home you can go to, going out to plays, movies, bars, just having fun. And then there are those that are married, some with children, or boyfriends that they spend time with. And places they take vacations to, places we all dream of going.  That is the world she is suppose to be in, the world I dream for her everyday and night.

   Most people Meghan's age have calendars marked with social events and vacations. Our calendar is different. It is marked with dates for pet scans and MRI's, dates for putting more chemo into her spinal fluid, dates for appointments with pain management to refill prescriptions and to have procedures to try and alleviate pain in her back and leg. There are no dates for vacations, or tickets for future shows because we just don't know what tomorrow will be like. We live on a daily basis. We look forward to a good day. But even on a good day we worry about what tomorrow will be like. That is our calendar.

  Meghan and I have learned, and continue to try and learn, how to deal with what we have. For as long as it takes to get to the top of this second mountain. You just don't give up after seven years. And you still, while fighting this disease, continue when you can, to make a difference for others.

  But there are times, like today, when I wish neither of us really understood what it is like to be a victim of cancer. There are times, like today, when I wish my Meghan had a regular calendar just like yours. There are times, like today, when I wish our world was different. There are times, like today, when you decide to send out an email that tells just how you feel.

  Jerry