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Hooking up can be a precarious business. There's a lot that goes into getting laid that most people don't take the time to think about. When it comes down to it, your success with the ladies hinges upon everything from your appearance to your apartment to your flirting skills.

Getting laid isn't all about game or style on their own. It's about having all of those things (and more) together at once. Because even if you're the smoothest guy around, you're not going to get laid if you smell like actual trash.

So here is the ultimate guide to hooking up. In this handbook, I cover everything from personal grooming, to sliding into her DM's, to sliding it in (wink, wink). Every single thing you need to know about finding a hookup is included in this article… so pay close attention. Taking notes isn't required, but it's encouraged.

Grooming & Style

Taking your time to get ready isn't something you should skip over because you consider yourself to be some kind of macho man. Grooming isn't just for the flaming or the female. If you're not spending at least the same amount of time getting ready in the bathroom as you would watching an episode of Rick & Morty, then you're fucking up, my guy.

Don't get me wrong, women like a little musk. But there is a huge difference between musk and smelling like a sour gym locker. So please, for the sake of your sex life, spend some dedicated time in front of a mirror.

General Hygine is a must

Let's start with basics, shall we? To some, this section might seem like common sense… However, to some of you reading, the concept of decent hygiene has managed to elude you even into your adulthood.

Before going out on a date, or to a bar to pick up girls, or having a girl over for a dick appointment, you best take a shower. Even if it's just a body shower, please fucking shower. Rinse off your day (and all the sweat that came with it) before you plan on encountering any ladies.

Don't have time for a shower? Take a whore's bath with some wipes or a washcloth. You'll feel fresher, and a once-over with a wet-nap could make a world of a difference.

When it comes down to it, you're going to want to smell damn good if you're looking to hookup. This brings us to the topic of cologne… Axe almost got it right with their mantra of pit-pit-chest because you should be applying cologne to three areas but not necessarily your armpits… because your deodorant should take care of your pit stench (that being said, please wear deodorant).