khrylyv aleetheah mignona
Judd Eisenhauer
REVIEW: This is the second time Warner Bros. Pictures has done this. They take a popular property that was perfected by Disney to make their own live action blockbuster type story. Last year they did Pan which was universally panned. Next year, Andy Serkis will do his take on the Jungle Book. And now we have David Yates' The Legend of Tarzan which should be its own thing right?
Its hard trying to differentiate these films against Disney, because a majority of us moviegoers are more affectionately drawn to them then these live action films (unless they're also made made by Disney). Personally Tarzan is my favorite animated film so it is hard to take my prejudice aside until I saw an old 1960s Tarzan series on my TV. I had to realize and remind myself there is more than one Tarzan story and this is one of them, so I was prepared.
THE GOOD: What is good about this Tarzan film is its heart. There is not much genuine emotion to it, but it does have a good heart. There is a good message about animal preservation and human enslavement through the film. There are moments you root for Tarzan saving slaves and animals which results in a cool action sequence.
With a respectable cast as this, you would think there would be great performances but the only person that marginally stands out is Samuel L. Jackson. Though he has a constant "what the hell am I doing here" expression the entire time, he dishes out the best of what he's given which makes him the most entertaining piece out of the entire film. Skarsgrd makes for a good Tarzan and the scenes shared with Jackson makes the adventure worth watching.
THE BAD: Though Jackson is great, the rest of the cast is sleepwalking through the entire film. Margot Robbie, a great actresstries her best to hide her accent and you can hear the slips every now and then her character is not much than a damsel in distress. Christoph Waltz is not doing much in this than being a mustache twirling villain.
The story now is extremely weak. It tries to be stylistic by having the same type of Tree of Life origin setup that Man of Steel had. But when it's for telling the story of Tarzan, you just don't care. This film is too intense and a bit inappropriate to be an introduction to Tarzan to children and too dull for adults to be invested, so its hard to figure out the demographic for this film. In the end most of us already know the story of Tarzan, so it's very unnecessary for this film to even exist.
The effects is fine and all, but it suffers the exact same thing 2013's The Lone Ranger possessed; value. This film has no value to it. It doesn't have enough value to go out and scream OH MY GOD YOU NEED TO SEE THIS! Its just there as a summer blockbuster movie, but there are so many better and entertaining films to go out to see than this. It is not as torturous as Pan for sure, but the film is very dull and generic that you're very bored and just wait for the third act to come into fruition. And even when the third act begins its nothing special. This film is directed by David Yates, the director that bought us the final four Harry Potter films and is to direct the spinoff Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them to be released in November and this film doesn't scream David Yates. It screams Warner Bros. This isn't a director film, but a studio film and it shows.
LAST STATEMENT: Unbalanced performances and a barely entertaining story makesThe Legend of Tarzan a film that doesn't do much for audiences other than make you wish you were home watching your 1999 Disney Tarzan video.
Waterworld was set on a particularly steep section of the park. The entire section was on an incline until it leveled out a bit at the top; the end of the incline also marked the end of Waterworld. The first slide you saw back in the Action Park days was Kamikaze, a simple three dip body slide that was built into the hill. There would be a short, straight section after each dip that would dissipate your speed in preparation for the next drop. Depending on how heavy you are, you could catch some air on the final dip. This was, however, the least dangerous or wild slide in Action Park.
Lets start off with the Tarzan Swings which were, and probably still are, a spectacle of pain. The swing was huge first off; the beam to hold them must have hovered 30 feet above the water. Usually these Tarzan swing type things have a 6 foot drop at most. The swing platforms here had to have been around 15 feet high. There were three swings, each consisting of a cable attached to a triangular shaped grab bar.
The worst pools were the Tarzan Swing and Cannonball Falls splash pools. Both are in an intense shade provided by the wooded surroundings, and both look like pools that were simply made from lining the ravines with plastic. The depth of each pool is around 15 feet and the shade makes it look dark and murky (thanks Mike D for the info!) When at the park, I distinctly remember the ride ops announcing that the pool was 30 feet deep, which was sort of terrifying to think about.
Two things I always remembered about this slide complex were that there was like a 10 foot section of the taller slides that were covered. Perhaps they put them there to prevent someone from falling off the top (maybe the story is legit!) The complex also had a wooden bridge going over the run-out for the slides. It was a great vantage point to watch riders drop down the slide and rumble under the bridge in a mist of water. The opposite side of the bridge just lead to a tree line and some weeds from what I remember.
I got massive street cred with my friends for doing it. I fianlly went sky diving a few years ago and actually, I was in more fear for my life at Traction Park then I was when I did the real thing lol.
I remember this place, the roller slide was called the Aqua Scoot! I loved that thing. I personally never got injured in my multiple visits between 87 and 91, but I remember those guys with their shirts off and a nice Alpine Slide burn. Those looked like they hurt. This was a great stroll down memory lane, I look forward to going back someday. I am in the midwest now and hating it
I had worked there for 7 years both seasons..
For the first few years I worked Food and Beverage, then ride attendant, Then finally once I was old enough and they had an opening I was allowed to work as a mechanic in motor world.. I rememebr breaking in the Lolas after they got new engines.. all we did was drive them up into water world and back down over and over again to break them in..
I remember the battle action tanks mechanics shop had some prototype or homebrew air cannon that would shoot a tennis ball from the tank cage well up past 94.. I wonder what happened to it. if anyone knows the make or has plans drop me a line.
I spent most of my time on the dock at the super speed boats, I remember one day clearly . There was an asian woman on the paddle boats in the adjacent pond and a lightning storm was rolling in. Unfortunately she panics and couldnt figure out how to work the boat controls..
I remember that we endedn up having two lifeguards stand on the edge of the foating dock that separated the two ponds, I disengaged the transom lock and headed straight at the dock head on.. because it was tilted my way it resembled a ramp, I then launched my boat onto and over the dock landing in the paddle boat pond. I then hooked her up with a line and towed her back to the area where the paddle boats were funneled into the boarding area.
I remember one time when I was going down Surf Hill and after one of the bumps I went soaring into the air and landed two lanes over from where I had started and when we got to the bottom, I plowed into the kid who had been riding in that lane and ran right over him before I stopped.
I remember snakes in one of the pools. I rode this tube down a long slide and half way down i fell of the tube landing painfully in the pool with less skin on my legs then when i started the ride with. But just when i thought my ride of death was over I see this huge snake swimming right at my face. I was only 8 and i couldnt swim very well, so their i was flapping my arms and legs screaming for help because of this snake and the fact i was bloody and in pain, and not one person came to my aide. All the children were pushing me down in the water and they were trying to get out of the pool, I though i was goin to drown or be attacted by this snake. THANK GOD for my older brother, because he pulled me out.
Just want to say thanks for the indepth descriptions! It makes the idea of the place even more real! You have no idea how many people i have told about the place! Just out of sheer disbelief that something so dangerous could have existed for such a long period of time!!
loved that place went from 86 to 1990 loved motor wolrd and the indy cars fastest go cart ive ever been on got kicked off in 89 hit a cone or tire went over thew yellow line god i miss that place also went on aero ride first year it opened that was fun sad to see it in ruins ps any one know where i can buy one of those cars ?
i know i commented on someone elses comment, but i wanted to comment on this artical, its GREAT! the descriptions were pretty much dead on. what sucks is i had a lot typed up and some how it didnt get posted, now i dont remember it lol.
i did the motor park a little. wish i would have know the tennis ball trick, lol. i did wreck the cars though, being 12 in my memory of the motorpark, the only pedal i used was the gas (which was always on the floor). shot the tennis ball cannon many times, and yes the best part was shooting the helpless employees, lol
I remember going so often with my friends we used to plan trips to go mid week, when it was cold and cloudy. That way the park was empty. We would complete every ride before lunch, eat, and then repeat.
I remember hanging out by geronimo falls laughing at all of the wedgies and lost suit tops. The food and service in the restaurants was terrible. Never had the chance to ride the cannonball loop because it was always closed but I remember getting yelled out for always going head first in the regular cannonball. The black asphalt was so hot I remember walking on the side of it to deal with the pain of the rocks and not risk burning my feet. Thanks for the memories!
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