Friends With [Sexual] Benefits, An Old Sex Sin With a New Name.
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Sep 15, 2010, 8:43:01 PM9/15/10
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Friends With [Sexual] Benefits, An Old Sex Sin With a New Name.
By R Tyler
COPYRIGHT © 09/15/10 All rights reserved. This file, in its entirety,
may be posted on or copied off of computer networks like Internet or
WWW by anyone so inclined as long as it is not changed and the author
is acknowledged.
[1] "Friends with [sexual] benefits" and it harmfulness explained
[2] The emotional harm and damage it does
[3] The physical harm and damage it does
[4] The spiritual harm, damage and consequences
[5] What the Bible says about these sinful sexual benefits
[6] God blessed, happy and good sex described
==================================
[1] "Friends with [sexual] benefits" and its harmfulness explained
According to experts speaking during the 9/15/10 Focus on the Family
broadcast, among American young people today there is a new name for
sex sin. It is "Friends with Benefits," which means that the people
involved are "friends" and the "benefits" are sexual intimacy without
marriage. These sinful "benefits" of sexual intimacy involve [1] a
male seeing and or having physical contact with the genitals (vulva,
pudenda,labia, clitoris and/or vagina) of a woman who is not his own
heterosexual marital partner (Ezek 23; 1 Cor 6); and/or [2] a male or
female having intimate physical contact (touching, holding, caressing,
handling, kissing etc) the breasts of a woman who is not one's own
heterosexual marital partner (Ezek 23; Prov 5:15-22; 1 Cor 6; Romans
1:22-28).
This behavior is harmful and destructive to our young people
spiritually, emotionally and physically. The emotional damage is
documented scientifically by Doctors Freda Mckissic-Bush and Dr. Joe
S. McIlhaney coauthored the book "Hooked, New Science on How Casual
Sex is Affecting Our Children," ISBN: 0-8024-5060-1; ISBN-13:
978-0-8024-5060-9. "Breakthroughs in the burgeoning field of
neuroscience explain the impact having sex has on the developing
brains of adolescents and young adults. Through the mounds of
scientific data this book simply demonstrates that sexual activity
releases chemicals in the brain, creating emotional bonds between
partners. Breaking these bonds can cause depression and make it harder
to bond with someone else in the future. Chemicals released in the
brain during sex can become addictive."
[2] The emotional harm and damage it does
Lets start with the emotional damage. Epinephrine (also known as
adrenaline) is a hormone and neurotransmitter and during sex it
affects the mind by giving the person a powerful, exciting and
exhilarating "high." During sexual pleasuring endorphins ("endogenous
morphine"), endogenous opioid peptides that function as
neurotransmitters, affect the mind with tsunamis of pleasure and
delight. Dopamine is a catecholamine neurotransmitter that is
pathologically altered in addicted persons. "Dopamine is closely
associated with reward-seeking behaviors, such as approach,
consumption, and addiction." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dopamine).
Dopamine can help cause a person to become addicted to sex and/or
become addicted to sex with a particular person. "Oxytocin is a
mammalian hormone that acts primarily as a neurotransmitter in the
brain" (http://www.google.com/search?
client=safari&rls=en&q=Oxytocin&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8). It "is released
during sexual orgasm in both men and women" . . . can "influence our
ability to bond with others" and "is involved in adult
bonding" (http://www.oxytocin.org/oxytoc/index.html). There is "a
correlation of oxytocin with social bonding, increases in trust, and
decreases in fear. . . . oxytocin released into the brain of the
female during sexual activity is important for forming a monogamous
pair bond with her sexual partner" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
Oxytocin}.
So during genital and breast contact and stimulation you have minds
flooded with hormones involving excitement, pleasure, addiction and
bonding. It is no wonder that a world with no personal relationship
with Jesus Christ finds sexual intimacy to be one of its greatest
experiences. "Hooked, New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our
Children" shows scientifically that sexual intimacy without committed
bonding does great harm to the female especially, but also to the
male. Sex without committed bonding is one of the main causes of [1]
young people, especially young females, being seriously affected by
depression and many committing suicide; and [2] unsuccessful marital
bonding resulting in marital failure. Females are the biggest losers
and suffer the most here.
[3] The physical harm and damage it does
Let's look at the physical damage of this "friendship" with sexual
"benefits."
Year 2010: "One in four teenage girls in the U.S. has an STD,
according to the Centers for Disease Control" (www.avert.org/std-
statistics-america.htm). Women are the biggest losers and suffer the
most here. From http://www.soundvision.com/Info/teens/stat.asp we
learn the following:
[1] "In the U.S., 1 in 4 sexually active teens become infected with an
STD every year.2 Some common STDs are chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital
warts (also known as HPV - human papillomavirus), and herpes. (Facts
in Brief: Teen Sex and Pregnancy, The Alan Guttmacher Institute, New
York, 1996)."
[2] "In the U.S., 7 in 10 women who had sex before age 14, and 6 in 10
of those who had sex before age 15 report having had sex
involuntarily. (Facts in Brief: Teen Sex and Pregnancy, The Alan
Guttmacher Institute, New York, 1996)."
[3] "Nationally, one-quarter of 15 year old females and less than 30%
of 15 year old males have had sex, compared with 66% of 18 year old
females, and 68% of 18 year old males who have had sexual intercourse.
(A Statistical Portrait of Adolescent Sex, Contraception, and
Childbearing, National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, Washington,
DC, 1998)."
[4] "According to the Justice Department, one in two rape victims is
under age 18; one in six is under age 12. [Child Rape Victims, 1992.
U.S. Department of Justice.] While 9 out of 10 rape victims are women,
men and boys are also victimized by this crime. In 1995, 32,130 males
age 12 and older were victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual
assault. [National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice
Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, 1996.]"
Let's look at some specific STDs.
**Human Papillomavirus (HPV > Cervical cancer) by oral and genital
sex; 1999: Incidence: 5.5 million; Prevalence: 20 million; No clinical
proof of CONDOM effectiveness in prevention. HPV is the leading cause
of cervical cancer, killing 5000 +/- annually.
[Cates W et al. Estimates of the Incidence and Prevalence of Sexually
Transmitted Diseases in the United States. Sex Trans Dis
1999;26(suppl):S2-S7]
**HIV &/or HCV 1999; Incidence:40,000; Prevalence: 900,000; Condom
Effectiveness: Relative risk of exposure/infection = 15 % failure rate
[Cates W et al. Estimates of the Incidence and Prevalence of Sexually
Transmitted Diseases in the United States. Sex Trans Dis
1999;26(suppl):S2-S7; http://www.hepatitis-c.de/allhep.htm]
***Chlamydia trachomatis, a bacterial infection resulting in painful
inflammation and reproductive sterility: "more than 4 million people
are infected each year."
2008 Cases: 1,210,523. 1999 Incidence:3 million;--Prevalence: 2
million; --No clinical proof of condom effectiveness[http://
www.avert.org/std-statistics-america.htm; http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/chlamydiainfections;
http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/stdclam.htm]
*****Gonorrhea = 2008 cases: 336,742. 1999 incidence:650,000; No
clinical proof of condom effectiveness.
The STD gonorrhea is nearing "superbug" status. That means if doctors
do not find new ways of treating it, the disease could become
resistant to drugs.
[http://www.avert.org/std-statistics-america.htm;
ca.news.yahoo.com/.../
science_gonorrhea_antibiotic_resistant_superbug;
http://www.canada.com/health/Gonorrhea+superbug+comes+Canada/1248077/story.html;
www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE62S5KF20100329;
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,265604,00.html]
***Trichomoniasis, 1999 = Incidence; Prevalence: 5 million; No
clinical proof of condom effectiveness in prevention
***Syphilis, 1999 = Incidence: 70,000; No clinical proof of condom
effectiveness in prevention. 2008 Cases: 49,777 [http://www.avert.org/
std-statistics-america.htm]
**Genital Herpes, 1999: Incidence: 500,000; Prevalence: 45 million; No
clinical proof of condom effectiveness in prevention
[4] The spiritual harm, damage and consequences
Let's look at the spiritual damage this does to those who are true
children of God by faith in Jesus and His redeeming sacrifice alone,
children of God who are snared in sex sin.
We see that their Father in Heaven will chasten them with weakness and/
or sickness, and if that doesn't stop them from sinning sexually, He
may cause their bodies to die and take their spirits to be with Him
where they can no longer sin sexually.
***2 Tm 2: 23 But avoid foolish discussions with ignorant men,
knowing--as you do--that these lead to quarrels; 24 and a bondservant
of the Lord must not quarrel, but must be inoffensive towards all men,
a skillful teacher, and patient under wrongs. 25 He must speak in a
gentle tone when correcting the errors of opponents, in the hope that
God will at last give them repentance, for them to come to a full
knowledge of the Truth 26 and recover sober-mindedness and freedom
from the Devil’s snare, though they are now entrapped by him to do his
will.
***Hebrews 12:5 But you have forgotten that the Scriptures say to
God's children, "When the Lord punishes you, don't make light of it,
and when he corrects you, don't be discouraged. 6 The Lord corrects
the people he loves and disciplines those he calls his own." 7 Be
patient when you are being corrected! This is how God treats his
children. Don't all parents correct their children? 8 God corrects all
of his children, and if he doesn't correct you, then you don't really
belong to him. 9 Our earthly fathers correct us, and we still respect
them. Isn't it even better to be given true life by letting our
spiritual Father correct us? 10 Our human fathers correct us for a
short time, and they do it as they think best. But God corrects us for
our own good, because he wants us to be holy, as he is. 11 It is never
fun to be corrected. In fact, at the time it is always painful. But if
we learn to obey by being corrected, we will do right and live at
peace. 12 Now stand up straight! Stop your knees from shaking 13 and
walk a straight path. Then lame people will be healed, instead of
getting worse. CEV
******1Cor 5: 3 For I myself, though absent in body, have been present
with you in spirit, and in the name of our Lord Jesus I have already
passed judgment, just as if I had been present, upon the man who has
acted in this way. 4 I have decided-having been present in spirit at
your meetings, when the power of the Lord Jesus was with us- 5 To
deliver such a man as this over to Satan, that what is sensual in him
may be destroyed, so that his spirit may be saved at the Day of the
Lord. . . . 11 But, as things are, I say that you are not to associate
with any one who, although a Brother in name, is sexually immoral, or
covetous/greedy, or an idolater, or [physically or verbally or
emotionally] abusive, or a drunkard/addict, or a rapacious extortioner
(or a ravenous robber) - no, not even to sit at table [to eat] with
such people. . . . 11: 29 If you fail to understand that you are the
body of the Lord, you will condemn yourselves by the way you eat and
drink. 30That's why many of you are sick and weak and why a lot of
others have died. 31 If we carefully judge ourselves, we won't be
punished. 32 But when the Lord judges and punishes us, he does it to
keep us from being condemned with the rest of the world.
Let's look at the spiritual damage this does to those who are not true
children of God by faith in Jesus and His redeeming sacrifice alone,
who are not children of God and who are snared in sex sin. According
to the Word of God, people who keep on doing this behavior, people who
are continuing to do these intimate sex acts without being
heterosexually married to each other, are people who shall NOT
"inherit the kingdom of God," people who will have their share/portion
"in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur," and people who are
under "God's decree that those who continue to do such things deserve
to die."
***1 Cor 6: 9 ¶ Do you not know that unrighteous persons shall not
inherit the kingdom of God? Do not err: neither sex sinners
[Ezek23], . . . nor those who have sex with another's woman &/or those
who leave their wives and marry another, . . nor male catamites &/or
prostitutes who allow themselves to be homosexually used , nor
homosexuals/pederasts , 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards,
nor abusive persons, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of
God.
***Rev 21:8 But the fearful cowards, faithless unbelievers, detestably
vile, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars—
their share/portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and
sulfur, which is the second death.
***Romans 1:"32 Though they know God’s decree that those who continue
doing such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give
approval<4909> to those who keep on doing them."
[5] What the Bible says about these sinful sexual benefits
The sinful "benefits" of sexual intimacy include lesbianism and
bisexuality. What does Jesus say through Paul about lesbianism and
bisexuality?
***Ezek 23: 19 Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to
remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot
in the land of Egypt. 20* For she had evil desire for their mistresses/
lovers/concubines<6370>^^, whose genitals are like the genitals of
asses, and whose genital issue is like the genital issue of horses. 21
Thus you called to remembrance the lewdness of your youth, . .
^^The fact that her evil desire was coupled with the description of
the genitals and excretion of the women she desired, clearly shows
that her harlotry included lesbianism and bisexuality. Everywhere
Strong's 06370 is found in the Bible it signifies a woman in a sexual
or marital relationship, and is used to describe the wives/concubines
of Abraham (Gn25:6; 1Ch 1:32); Jacob (Gn 35:22); Caleb (1Ch 2:46,48),
Gideon (Jd 8:31), Saul (2Sa 3:7; 21:11), David (2Sa 5:13; 12:11;
15:16; 16:21,22; 19:5; 20:3), Solomon (Song 6:8,9).
***Rom 1:26 AMPLIFIED from Strong’s Lexicon: This then is the reason
why God gave them up to dishonorable, ignominious, and disgraceful
passionate emotions. For not only did their women exchange the God
designed sexual use of their bodies for a sexual use other than that
designed by God [women working/doing genitals with women], 27 but the
men also IN THE SAME WAY, the males--leaving the natural sexual use of
the female --burned with passion towards one another, men working and
doing genitals with men, and receiving in their own selves the reward
which necessarily followed their misconduct. . . . 32 In short, though
knowing full well the sentence which God pronounces against actions
such as theirs, as things which deserve death, they not only practise
them, but even encourage and applaud others who do them. . . .
[6] God blessed, happy and good sex described
GOD DESIGNED SEX TO BE FOR THE BONDING ECSTASY AND DELIGHT OF HUSBANDS
WITH THEIR WIVES.
***Prov. 5:18 Your fountain/genital should be blessed; and rejoice and
be glad with the wife of your youth. 19 . . . her breasts should
satisfy/intoxicate/saturate you at all times; you should be
intoxicated continually with her [sexual] loving</strong></strong>
***Eccles 9:9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days
of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun— all
your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your
toilsome labor under the sun.
***1 COR 7:1* ¶ But concerning the things of which ye have written to
me: It is good for a male not to continue -keep on - touching a woman;
2 but because of and to avoid sexual immorality each man should be
[sexually] having his own woman, and each woman should be [sexually]
having her own man. . . .4. The woman doesn't have [sexual] authority
over her own body, but the husband [does]; in like manner also the man
doesn't have [sexual] authority over his own body, but the woman
[does]. 5 Do not be denying each other [sexually], unless, it may be,
by consent for a time, that you may devote yourselves to fasting and
prayer, and again be conjugally cohabiting [sexually reuniting], that
Satan tempt you not because of your incontinence. . . .
The command in 1 Cor 7:8,9, the command is to the "unmarried" males
and females, no matter what their age.
"8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to
remain single as I am. 9 But if they are not continuing to restrain
themselves [are not abstaining from sex sin], they should marry, for
it is better to marry than to burn with desire. "
RT: I don't think 1 Cor 7:9 is a matter of ability, since ability is
not even a part of the equation of the command. There is no Greek word
in the Greek text of 1 Cor 7:9 that supports an "able" translation
i.e. "if they are not able to abstain":
9 But if they are not [Strong's 3756] continuing to restrain{1467}
themselves [are not abstaining{1467} from sex sin], they should
marry (G1060), for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.
9 But if they do not have self-control(1467), they should
marry(G1060), for it is better to marry than to burn with desire. HCSB
9 and if they have not continence(1467) -- they should marry(G1060),
for it is better to marry than to burn; YLT
9 But if they do not have self-control(1467), they should
marry(G1060); for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
NASB
From the Bible's Song of Solomon
Song 1:2 [Wife] He should kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your loving is better than wine; . . .3.Your ointments
smell sweetly; . . 1:4. Lead [me], drawing
me along! . . . 5 I am black [as a raven],
but beautiful, daughters of Jerusalem, As
the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon.
6 Look not upon me, because I am black [as a
raven]; Because the sun has looked upon me.
5: 10My beloved is radiant and a healthy reddish [color],
The chiefest among ten thousand. 11His head is [as]
the finest gold; His locks are flowing, black as the raven . . .
1:13 My lover is to me a sachet of myrrh
resting between my breasts.
2:6 [Wife]His left hand is under my head,
and his right hand embraces me!
17 Until the day breathes
and the shadows flee,
turn, my beloved, be like a gazelle
or a young stag on cleft mountains [her breasts].
3:4[WIFE] Scarcely had I passed them
when I found him whom my soul loves.
I held him, and would not let him go . . . .
4: [HUSBAND] 1Behold, you are beautiful, my love,
behold, you are beautiful [to me]! . . .
5 Your two breasts are like two fawns,
like twin fawns of a gazelle
that browse among the lilies.
6 Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee,
I will go to the mountain of myrrh [one of her breasts]
and to the hill of incense [her other breast ].
7 You are altogether beautiful [to me], my love; . . .
9 You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes,
10How beautiful is your loving, my sister, my bride!
How much better is your loving than wine,
and the fragrance of your oils than any spice!
11Your lips drip nectar, my bride;
honey and milk are under your tongue;
the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of
Lebanon.
12 My sister, my bride, [you are] a locked garden—
a locked garden and a sealed spring.
13 Your branches [arms and legs] are a paradise of pomegranates
with choicest fruits,
henna with nard—
14 nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon,
with all the trees of frankincense,
myrrh and aloes,
with all the best spices [available at most supermarkets].
15 [You are] a garden spring,
a well of flowing water
streaming from Lebanon.
[WIFE]4:16 Awaken, north wind—
come, south wind.
Blow on my garden [her body],
and spread the fragrance of its spices.
My love should come to his garden [HER]
and eat its choicest fruits.
5:[HUSBAND] 1 I have come to my garden—my sister, my bride.
I gather my myrrh with my spices.
I eat my honeycomb with my honey.
I drink my wine with my milk. . . .
5 I rose to open for my love.
My hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with flowing myrrh . . .
[WIFE]16 His mouth is sweetness.
He is absolutely desirable. . . .
7: [HUSBAND]1 How beautiful are your sandaled feet, princess!
The curves of your thighs are like jewelry,
the handiwork of a master. . . .
3 Your breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle.
6 How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
O love, with your delights!
7 Your stature is like that of the palm,
and your breasts like clusters of fruit.
8 I said, "I will climb the palm tree;
I will take hold of its fruit [her breasts]."
May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine,
the fragrance of your breath like apples,
[WIFE] 7:10 I belong to my love,
and his desire is for me.
11 Come, my love,
let's go to the field;
let's spend the night among the henna blossoms.
8:[WIFE] 3 His left hand is under my head,
and his right hand embraces me. . . .
14 Come away, my lover,
and be like a gazelle
or like a young stag
on the spice-laden mountains [her breasts].
From the Bible's Esther
Esther 2:Esther also was taken to the king's palace and entrusted to
Hegai, who had charge of the harem. 9 The girl pleased him and won his
favor. Immediately he provided her with her beauty treatments and
special food. . . . 12 Before a girl's turn came to go in to King
Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments
prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with
perfumes and cosmetics. 13 And this is how she would go to the king:
Anything she wanted was given her to take with her from the harem to
the king's palace. 14 In the evening she would go there and in the
morning return to another part of the harem to the care of Shaashgaz,
the king's eunuch who was in charge of the concubines. She would not
return to the king unless he was pleased with her and summoned her by
name.
15 When the turn came for Esther (the girl Mordecai had adopted, the
daughter of his uncle Abihail) to go to the king, she asked for
nothing other than what Hegai, the king's eunuch who was in charge of
the harem, suggested. And Esther won the favor of everyone who saw
her. 16 She was taken to King Xerxes in the royal residence in the
tenth month, the month of Tebeth, in the seventh year of his reign. 17
Now the king was attracted to Esther more than to any of the other
women, and she won his favor and approval more than any of the other
virgins. So he set a royal crown on her head and made her queen
instead of Vashti.
IF SOLOMON'S SHULAMITE AND QUEEN ESTHER BEAUTIFIED THEMSELVES WITH
PERFUMED AND SCENTED OILS, WITH GREAT RESULTS IN THEIR MARRIAGES, THE
WISE WIFE TODAY WOULD DO THE SAME, even if it is with nothing more
than the oil flavorings found in the local supermarket, like almond
oil, butterscotch oil, lemon oil, cinnamon etc. When a man finds a
woman desirable he wants as much of her as possible in his mouth and
hands. Make it a pleasant and tastey experience. A word to the wise is
sufficient.
For more on what the Bible has to say about sexual intimacy, please go
to the Files, Documents or Messages section of one of the following:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BiblicalSexVsPornSex
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BiblicalSexVsSexSin
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SexProbsAndRecoveryInJesus - - - - -
http://biblicalmaturity.yuku.com/forums/66
http://groups.google.com/group/SexScriptureChristiansAndJesus
http://groups.myspace.com/TeensSexAndJesus - -
http://groups.myspace.com/ChristianSex
http://meetup.com/ChristianSexRelationsRecovery
http://biblicalsex.multiply.com/
http://www.shtyle.fm/community.do?cid=41190 - - -
By R Tyler
COPYRIGHT © 09/15/10 All rights reserved. This file, in its entirety,
may be posted on or copied off of computer networks like Internet or
WWW by anyone so inclined as long as it is not changed and the author
is acknowledged.
[1] "Friends with [sexual] benefits" and it harmfulness explained
[2] The emotional harm and damage it does
[3] The physical harm and damage it does
[4] The spiritual harm, damage and consequences
[5] What the Bible says about these sinful sexual benefits
[6] God blessed, happy and good sex described
==================================
[1] "Friends with [sexual] benefits" and its harmfulness explained
According to experts speaking during the 9/15/10 Focus on the Family
broadcast, among American young people today there is a new name for
sex sin. It is "Friends with Benefits," which means that the people
involved are "friends" and the "benefits" are sexual intimacy without
marriage. These sinful "benefits" of sexual intimacy involve [1] a
male seeing and or having physical contact with the genitals (vulva,
pudenda,labia, clitoris and/or vagina) of a woman who is not his own
heterosexual marital partner (Ezek 23; 1 Cor 6); and/or [2] a male or
female having intimate physical contact (touching, holding, caressing,
handling, kissing etc) the breasts of a woman who is not one's own
heterosexual marital partner (Ezek 23; Prov 5:15-22; 1 Cor 6; Romans
1:22-28).
This behavior is harmful and destructive to our young people
spiritually, emotionally and physically. The emotional damage is
documented scientifically by Doctors Freda Mckissic-Bush and Dr. Joe
S. McIlhaney coauthored the book "Hooked, New Science on How Casual
Sex is Affecting Our Children," ISBN: 0-8024-5060-1; ISBN-13:
978-0-8024-5060-9. "Breakthroughs in the burgeoning field of
neuroscience explain the impact having sex has on the developing
brains of adolescents and young adults. Through the mounds of
scientific data this book simply demonstrates that sexual activity
releases chemicals in the brain, creating emotional bonds between
partners. Breaking these bonds can cause depression and make it harder
to bond with someone else in the future. Chemicals released in the
brain during sex can become addictive."
[2] The emotional harm and damage it does
Lets start with the emotional damage. Epinephrine (also known as
adrenaline) is a hormone and neurotransmitter and during sex it
affects the mind by giving the person a powerful, exciting and
exhilarating "high." During sexual pleasuring endorphins ("endogenous
morphine"), endogenous opioid peptides that function as
neurotransmitters, affect the mind with tsunamis of pleasure and
delight. Dopamine is a catecholamine neurotransmitter that is
pathologically altered in addicted persons. "Dopamine is closely
associated with reward-seeking behaviors, such as approach,
consumption, and addiction." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dopamine).
Dopamine can help cause a person to become addicted to sex and/or
become addicted to sex with a particular person. "Oxytocin is a
mammalian hormone that acts primarily as a neurotransmitter in the
brain" (http://www.google.com/search?
client=safari&rls=en&q=Oxytocin&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8). It "is released
during sexual orgasm in both men and women" . . . can "influence our
ability to bond with others" and "is involved in adult
bonding" (http://www.oxytocin.org/oxytoc/index.html). There is "a
correlation of oxytocin with social bonding, increases in trust, and
decreases in fear. . . . oxytocin released into the brain of the
female during sexual activity is important for forming a monogamous
pair bond with her sexual partner" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
Oxytocin}.
So during genital and breast contact and stimulation you have minds
flooded with hormones involving excitement, pleasure, addiction and
bonding. It is no wonder that a world with no personal relationship
with Jesus Christ finds sexual intimacy to be one of its greatest
experiences. "Hooked, New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our
Children" shows scientifically that sexual intimacy without committed
bonding does great harm to the female especially, but also to the
male. Sex without committed bonding is one of the main causes of [1]
young people, especially young females, being seriously affected by
depression and many committing suicide; and [2] unsuccessful marital
bonding resulting in marital failure. Females are the biggest losers
and suffer the most here.
[3] The physical harm and damage it does
Let's look at the physical damage of this "friendship" with sexual
"benefits."
Year 2010: "One in four teenage girls in the U.S. has an STD,
according to the Centers for Disease Control" (www.avert.org/std-
statistics-america.htm). Women are the biggest losers and suffer the
most here. From http://www.soundvision.com/Info/teens/stat.asp we
learn the following:
[1] "In the U.S., 1 in 4 sexually active teens become infected with an
STD every year.2 Some common STDs are chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital
warts (also known as HPV - human papillomavirus), and herpes. (Facts
in Brief: Teen Sex and Pregnancy, The Alan Guttmacher Institute, New
York, 1996)."
[2] "In the U.S., 7 in 10 women who had sex before age 14, and 6 in 10
of those who had sex before age 15 report having had sex
involuntarily. (Facts in Brief: Teen Sex and Pregnancy, The Alan
Guttmacher Institute, New York, 1996)."
[3] "Nationally, one-quarter of 15 year old females and less than 30%
of 15 year old males have had sex, compared with 66% of 18 year old
females, and 68% of 18 year old males who have had sexual intercourse.
(A Statistical Portrait of Adolescent Sex, Contraception, and
Childbearing, National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, Washington,
DC, 1998)."
[4] "According to the Justice Department, one in two rape victims is
under age 18; one in six is under age 12. [Child Rape Victims, 1992.
U.S. Department of Justice.] While 9 out of 10 rape victims are women,
men and boys are also victimized by this crime. In 1995, 32,130 males
age 12 and older were victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual
assault. [National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice
Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, 1996.]"
Let's look at some specific STDs.
**Human Papillomavirus (HPV > Cervical cancer) by oral and genital
sex; 1999: Incidence: 5.5 million; Prevalence: 20 million; No clinical
proof of CONDOM effectiveness in prevention. HPV is the leading cause
of cervical cancer, killing 5000 +/- annually.
[Cates W et al. Estimates of the Incidence and Prevalence of Sexually
Transmitted Diseases in the United States. Sex Trans Dis
1999;26(suppl):S2-S7]
**HIV &/or HCV 1999; Incidence:40,000; Prevalence: 900,000; Condom
Effectiveness: Relative risk of exposure/infection = 15 % failure rate
[Cates W et al. Estimates of the Incidence and Prevalence of Sexually
Transmitted Diseases in the United States. Sex Trans Dis
1999;26(suppl):S2-S7; http://www.hepatitis-c.de/allhep.htm]
***Chlamydia trachomatis, a bacterial infection resulting in painful
inflammation and reproductive sterility: "more than 4 million people
are infected each year."
2008 Cases: 1,210,523. 1999 Incidence:3 million;--Prevalence: 2
million; --No clinical proof of condom effectiveness[http://
www.avert.org/std-statistics-america.htm; http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/chlamydiainfections;
http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/stdclam.htm]
*****Gonorrhea = 2008 cases: 336,742. 1999 incidence:650,000; No
clinical proof of condom effectiveness.
The STD gonorrhea is nearing "superbug" status. That means if doctors
do not find new ways of treating it, the disease could become
resistant to drugs.
[http://www.avert.org/std-statistics-america.htm;
ca.news.yahoo.com/.../
science_gonorrhea_antibiotic_resistant_superbug;
http://www.canada.com/health/Gonorrhea+superbug+comes+Canada/1248077/story.html;
www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE62S5KF20100329;
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,265604,00.html]
***Trichomoniasis, 1999 = Incidence; Prevalence: 5 million; No
clinical proof of condom effectiveness in prevention
***Syphilis, 1999 = Incidence: 70,000; No clinical proof of condom
effectiveness in prevention. 2008 Cases: 49,777 [http://www.avert.org/
std-statistics-america.htm]
**Genital Herpes, 1999: Incidence: 500,000; Prevalence: 45 million; No
clinical proof of condom effectiveness in prevention
[4] The spiritual harm, damage and consequences
Let's look at the spiritual damage this does to those who are true
children of God by faith in Jesus and His redeeming sacrifice alone,
children of God who are snared in sex sin.
We see that their Father in Heaven will chasten them with weakness and/
or sickness, and if that doesn't stop them from sinning sexually, He
may cause their bodies to die and take their spirits to be with Him
where they can no longer sin sexually.
***2 Tm 2: 23 But avoid foolish discussions with ignorant men,
knowing--as you do--that these lead to quarrels; 24 and a bondservant
of the Lord must not quarrel, but must be inoffensive towards all men,
a skillful teacher, and patient under wrongs. 25 He must speak in a
gentle tone when correcting the errors of opponents, in the hope that
God will at last give them repentance, for them to come to a full
knowledge of the Truth 26 and recover sober-mindedness and freedom
from the Devil’s snare, though they are now entrapped by him to do his
will.
***Hebrews 12:5 But you have forgotten that the Scriptures say to
God's children, "When the Lord punishes you, don't make light of it,
and when he corrects you, don't be discouraged. 6 The Lord corrects
the people he loves and disciplines those he calls his own." 7 Be
patient when you are being corrected! This is how God treats his
children. Don't all parents correct their children? 8 God corrects all
of his children, and if he doesn't correct you, then you don't really
belong to him. 9 Our earthly fathers correct us, and we still respect
them. Isn't it even better to be given true life by letting our
spiritual Father correct us? 10 Our human fathers correct us for a
short time, and they do it as they think best. But God corrects us for
our own good, because he wants us to be holy, as he is. 11 It is never
fun to be corrected. In fact, at the time it is always painful. But if
we learn to obey by being corrected, we will do right and live at
peace. 12 Now stand up straight! Stop your knees from shaking 13 and
walk a straight path. Then lame people will be healed, instead of
getting worse. CEV
******1Cor 5: 3 For I myself, though absent in body, have been present
with you in spirit, and in the name of our Lord Jesus I have already
passed judgment, just as if I had been present, upon the man who has
acted in this way. 4 I have decided-having been present in spirit at
your meetings, when the power of the Lord Jesus was with us- 5 To
deliver such a man as this over to Satan, that what is sensual in him
may be destroyed, so that his spirit may be saved at the Day of the
Lord. . . . 11 But, as things are, I say that you are not to associate
with any one who, although a Brother in name, is sexually immoral, or
covetous/greedy, or an idolater, or [physically or verbally or
emotionally] abusive, or a drunkard/addict, or a rapacious extortioner
(or a ravenous robber) - no, not even to sit at table [to eat] with
such people. . . . 11: 29 If you fail to understand that you are the
body of the Lord, you will condemn yourselves by the way you eat and
drink. 30That's why many of you are sick and weak and why a lot of
others have died. 31 If we carefully judge ourselves, we won't be
punished. 32 But when the Lord judges and punishes us, he does it to
keep us from being condemned with the rest of the world.
Let's look at the spiritual damage this does to those who are not true
children of God by faith in Jesus and His redeeming sacrifice alone,
who are not children of God and who are snared in sex sin. According
to the Word of God, people who keep on doing this behavior, people who
are continuing to do these intimate sex acts without being
heterosexually married to each other, are people who shall NOT
"inherit the kingdom of God," people who will have their share/portion
"in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur," and people who are
under "God's decree that those who continue to do such things deserve
to die."
***1 Cor 6: 9 ¶ Do you not know that unrighteous persons shall not
inherit the kingdom of God? Do not err: neither sex sinners
[Ezek23], . . . nor those who have sex with another's woman &/or those
who leave their wives and marry another, . . nor male catamites &/or
prostitutes who allow themselves to be homosexually used , nor
homosexuals/pederasts , 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards,
nor abusive persons, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of
God.
***Rev 21:8 But the fearful cowards, faithless unbelievers, detestably
vile, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars—
their share/portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and
sulfur, which is the second death.
***Romans 1:"32 Though they know God’s decree that those who continue
doing such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give
approval<4909> to those who keep on doing them."
[5] What the Bible says about these sinful sexual benefits
The sinful "benefits" of sexual intimacy include lesbianism and
bisexuality. What does Jesus say through Paul about lesbianism and
bisexuality?
***Ezek 23: 19 Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to
remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot
in the land of Egypt. 20* For she had evil desire for their mistresses/
lovers/concubines<6370>^^, whose genitals are like the genitals of
asses, and whose genital issue is like the genital issue of horses. 21
Thus you called to remembrance the lewdness of your youth, . .
^^The fact that her evil desire was coupled with the description of
the genitals and excretion of the women she desired, clearly shows
that her harlotry included lesbianism and bisexuality. Everywhere
Strong's 06370 is found in the Bible it signifies a woman in a sexual
or marital relationship, and is used to describe the wives/concubines
of Abraham (Gn25:6; 1Ch 1:32); Jacob (Gn 35:22); Caleb (1Ch 2:46,48),
Gideon (Jd 8:31), Saul (2Sa 3:7; 21:11), David (2Sa 5:13; 12:11;
15:16; 16:21,22; 19:5; 20:3), Solomon (Song 6:8,9).
***Rom 1:26 AMPLIFIED from Strong’s Lexicon: This then is the reason
why God gave them up to dishonorable, ignominious, and disgraceful
passionate emotions. For not only did their women exchange the God
designed sexual use of their bodies for a sexual use other than that
designed by God [women working/doing genitals with women], 27 but the
men also IN THE SAME WAY, the males--leaving the natural sexual use of
the female --burned with passion towards one another, men working and
doing genitals with men, and receiving in their own selves the reward
which necessarily followed their misconduct. . . . 32 In short, though
knowing full well the sentence which God pronounces against actions
such as theirs, as things which deserve death, they not only practise
them, but even encourage and applaud others who do them. . . .
[6] God blessed, happy and good sex described
GOD DESIGNED SEX TO BE FOR THE BONDING ECSTASY AND DELIGHT OF HUSBANDS
WITH THEIR WIVES.
***Prov. 5:18 Your fountain/genital should be blessed; and rejoice and
be glad with the wife of your youth. 19 . . . her breasts should
satisfy/intoxicate/saturate you at all times; you should be
intoxicated continually with her [sexual] loving</strong></strong>
***Eccles 9:9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days
of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun— all
your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your
toilsome labor under the sun.
***1 COR 7:1* ¶ But concerning the things of which ye have written to
me: It is good for a male not to continue -keep on - touching a woman;
2 but because of and to avoid sexual immorality each man should be
[sexually] having his own woman, and each woman should be [sexually]
having her own man. . . .4. The woman doesn't have [sexual] authority
over her own body, but the husband [does]; in like manner also the man
doesn't have [sexual] authority over his own body, but the woman
[does]. 5 Do not be denying each other [sexually], unless, it may be,
by consent for a time, that you may devote yourselves to fasting and
prayer, and again be conjugally cohabiting [sexually reuniting], that
Satan tempt you not because of your incontinence. . . .
The command in 1 Cor 7:8,9, the command is to the "unmarried" males
and females, no matter what their age.
"8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to
remain single as I am. 9 But if they are not continuing to restrain
themselves [are not abstaining from sex sin], they should marry, for
it is better to marry than to burn with desire. "
RT: I don't think 1 Cor 7:9 is a matter of ability, since ability is
not even a part of the equation of the command. There is no Greek word
in the Greek text of 1 Cor 7:9 that supports an "able" translation
i.e. "if they are not able to abstain":
9 But if they are not [Strong's 3756] continuing to restrain{1467}
themselves [are not abstaining{1467} from sex sin], they should
marry (G1060), for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.
9 But if they do not have self-control(1467), they should
marry(G1060), for it is better to marry than to burn with desire. HCSB
9 and if they have not continence(1467) -- they should marry(G1060),
for it is better to marry than to burn; YLT
9 But if they do not have self-control(1467), they should
marry(G1060); for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
NASB
From the Bible's Song of Solomon
Song 1:2 [Wife] He should kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your loving is better than wine; . . .3.Your ointments
smell sweetly; . . 1:4. Lead [me], drawing
me along! . . . 5 I am black [as a raven],
but beautiful, daughters of Jerusalem, As
the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon.
6 Look not upon me, because I am black [as a
raven]; Because the sun has looked upon me.
5: 10My beloved is radiant and a healthy reddish [color],
The chiefest among ten thousand. 11His head is [as]
the finest gold; His locks are flowing, black as the raven . . .
1:13 My lover is to me a sachet of myrrh
resting between my breasts.
2:6 [Wife]His left hand is under my head,
and his right hand embraces me!
17 Until the day breathes
and the shadows flee,
turn, my beloved, be like a gazelle
or a young stag on cleft mountains [her breasts].
3:4[WIFE] Scarcely had I passed them
when I found him whom my soul loves.
I held him, and would not let him go . . . .
4: [HUSBAND] 1Behold, you are beautiful, my love,
behold, you are beautiful [to me]! . . .
5 Your two breasts are like two fawns,
like twin fawns of a gazelle
that browse among the lilies.
6 Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee,
I will go to the mountain of myrrh [one of her breasts]
and to the hill of incense [her other breast ].
7 You are altogether beautiful [to me], my love; . . .
9 You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes,
10How beautiful is your loving, my sister, my bride!
How much better is your loving than wine,
and the fragrance of your oils than any spice!
11Your lips drip nectar, my bride;
honey and milk are under your tongue;
the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of
Lebanon.
12 My sister, my bride, [you are] a locked garden—
a locked garden and a sealed spring.
13 Your branches [arms and legs] are a paradise of pomegranates
with choicest fruits,
henna with nard—
14 nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon,
with all the trees of frankincense,
myrrh and aloes,
with all the best spices [available at most supermarkets].
15 [You are] a garden spring,
a well of flowing water
streaming from Lebanon.
[WIFE]4:16 Awaken, north wind—
come, south wind.
Blow on my garden [her body],
and spread the fragrance of its spices.
My love should come to his garden [HER]
and eat its choicest fruits.
5:[HUSBAND] 1 I have come to my garden—my sister, my bride.
I gather my myrrh with my spices.
I eat my honeycomb with my honey.
I drink my wine with my milk. . . .
5 I rose to open for my love.
My hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with flowing myrrh . . .
[WIFE]16 His mouth is sweetness.
He is absolutely desirable. . . .
7: [HUSBAND]1 How beautiful are your sandaled feet, princess!
The curves of your thighs are like jewelry,
the handiwork of a master. . . .
3 Your breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle.
6 How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
O love, with your delights!
7 Your stature is like that of the palm,
and your breasts like clusters of fruit.
8 I said, "I will climb the palm tree;
I will take hold of its fruit [her breasts]."
May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine,
the fragrance of your breath like apples,
[WIFE] 7:10 I belong to my love,
and his desire is for me.
11 Come, my love,
let's go to the field;
let's spend the night among the henna blossoms.
8:[WIFE] 3 His left hand is under my head,
and his right hand embraces me. . . .
14 Come away, my lover,
and be like a gazelle
or like a young stag
on the spice-laden mountains [her breasts].
From the Bible's Esther
Esther 2:Esther also was taken to the king's palace and entrusted to
Hegai, who had charge of the harem. 9 The girl pleased him and won his
favor. Immediately he provided her with her beauty treatments and
special food. . . . 12 Before a girl's turn came to go in to King
Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments
prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with
perfumes and cosmetics. 13 And this is how she would go to the king:
Anything she wanted was given her to take with her from the harem to
the king's palace. 14 In the evening she would go there and in the
morning return to another part of the harem to the care of Shaashgaz,
the king's eunuch who was in charge of the concubines. She would not
return to the king unless he was pleased with her and summoned her by
name.
15 When the turn came for Esther (the girl Mordecai had adopted, the
daughter of his uncle Abihail) to go to the king, she asked for
nothing other than what Hegai, the king's eunuch who was in charge of
the harem, suggested. And Esther won the favor of everyone who saw
her. 16 She was taken to King Xerxes in the royal residence in the
tenth month, the month of Tebeth, in the seventh year of his reign. 17
Now the king was attracted to Esther more than to any of the other
women, and she won his favor and approval more than any of the other
virgins. So he set a royal crown on her head and made her queen
instead of Vashti.
IF SOLOMON'S SHULAMITE AND QUEEN ESTHER BEAUTIFIED THEMSELVES WITH
PERFUMED AND SCENTED OILS, WITH GREAT RESULTS IN THEIR MARRIAGES, THE
WISE WIFE TODAY WOULD DO THE SAME, even if it is with nothing more
than the oil flavorings found in the local supermarket, like almond
oil, butterscotch oil, lemon oil, cinnamon etc. When a man finds a
woman desirable he wants as much of her as possible in his mouth and
hands. Make it a pleasant and tastey experience. A word to the wise is
sufficient.
For more on what the Bible has to say about sexual intimacy, please go
to the Files, Documents or Messages section of one of the following:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BiblicalSexVsPornSex
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BiblicalSexVsSexSin
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SexProbsAndRecoveryInJesus - - - - -
http://biblicalmaturity.yuku.com/forums/66
http://groups.google.com/group/SexScriptureChristiansAndJesus
http://groups.myspace.com/TeensSexAndJesus - -
http://groups.myspace.com/ChristianSex
http://meetup.com/ChristianSexRelationsRecovery
http://biblicalsex.multiply.com/
http://www.shtyle.fm/community.do?cid=41190 - - -
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